Category Archives: Thoughtful Thursdays

Reflections

Nov27

Thoughtful Thursdays #76 – Doors

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There seems to be something enormous affecting everyones life.It’s and invisable door.

I am not sure what it is. I know it is not a dieity. It doesn’t matter how many prayers you say, spells you cast or sacrifices one makes, or positive thinking affirmation we use, none of it works permanently.  What is meant to happen will happen.

Ever notice how the movement of life is always in charge. We can call it a name but it is beyond that.

Between our free will and the natural expression of life we are constantly lead to the next level. We can cooperate or kick and scream but either way, we are lead forward through a door to our future.

Happy travels.

Nov20

Thoughtful Thursdays #75 On Being a Bully Continued

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Anger is very seductive, it feels powerful and it feels wonderful. It coats you like oil, where you feel slippery and untouchable.

This false because truth is soap that washes you clean. The truth is permanent change comes with kindness. It comes with doing what is right. It doesn’t come with being a bully, yeah you are going to change things when you are a bully, but it will be temporary.

It’s like lasting a dark spell. Dark spells don’t last. The good lasts. Always. It is just the way it is. It is the law of the universe.

Life always wants balance. If you are all bully or all saint life will not work. Perfection doesn’t exist. Balance exists, most days are quite ordinary. Quite balanced.

You are better than being a bully. You are more than that. So much greater than that. Look at all you have been through. You are brave and have so much courage. You don’t need to be that way anymore. Forget it, Forget it.

Use your bullying to bully yourself into existence. In a good way in an assertive way that is going to be productive.

Anger keeps you stuck. Peace keeps you productive. It is risky to change behavior. this is where you can be a bully. Be a bully against your own fear.

Bullys don’t trust themselves or life. Bullys don’t trust that they can make right decisions. Bullys think life is out to get them. Those are lies that your own resistance tries to tell you.

Figure out what is the truth and what are lies. Think of all the possiblilites you have.

Go ahead. Just for 5 minutes think of only positive things.

Bullying can become a bad habit. Try to change to get your permanent needs met. Try it………………….

Nov13

Thoughtful Thursdays #74 On Being A Bully

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Being a bully shows great weakness. It is weak to lose control of your temper. It shows you are afraid of something. Something life threatening. The causes of being a bully are many, loss of control, self esteen, personal pain, trauma.

Many times being a bully is the only form of control one thinks because outside events are uncontrolable. By continuing to be a bully there is the possibility of being so far from your feelings that giving suffering becomes enjoyable. Hence, becoming a psychopath.

Think, think, think about what you are doing. What are you so unhappy about? You are not helpless to change for the better.

Use your anger to barrel through the things that are not working and making you unhappy. Be a bully to change yourself for the better, to put up boundaries, commit to self  improve. It is your right to do so. It is your strength to do so.

Be a bully to take right actions.

To win the internal battle and vicious cycle of violence I offer a guaranteed way of progress.

GIVE NO ONE SORROW

AND

TAKE NO SORROW

Guaranteed…………………..

Nov6

Thoughtful Thursdays # 73 – Emotional Pain

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What ever you do, don’t try and escape from your pain, but be with it. Because any attempt to escape is what creates more pain.

From the Tibeten Book of Living and Dying.

I saw a short video with Dr. Gabor Mate and he mentioned this quote and it brings to mind how true it is.

We cannot cleanse what we ingnore, or run away from. It is most difficult to face pain alone. There is no way to bite the bullet or buckle down. The easiest and fastest way to heal is not in isolation. It is with other people, those who are interested in your well being. Whether it be a trusted friend or therapist – compassion is the catalyst. The healer. It is compassionate to take an interest in your own life. There are plenty of others who want you to heal too.

Find them, they are looking for you too.

Oct30

Thoughtful Thursdays #72 – Shame

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Shame will kill you and it is dangerous. Most suicides are shame based, addictions, acting out, aggression, violence are shame based. Shame is also a very social condition where we compare ourselves to others.

Shame effects intimacy, shame effects self esteem. Shame holds us back and makes us fearful of everything. Shame is pervasive, insidious, invisible and full of hatred

Shame shows up in toxic relationships and chaos. Shame shows up when you find yourself beating yourself up. Shame brings guilt, sadness, regret.

Shame will destroy your life. Shame shows up in not caring for yourself.

Shame shows up in the underachiever and overachiever. Shame will stop you from thinking.

Thinking is the only way to save yourself from further self inflicted injury be it emotional or otherwise. Thinking will grow your self esteem and see the possibilities of getting out of any mess you are in.

Brene Brown is a shame researcher and she says: if we share our story with someone who is empathetic, shame has no where to live, it cannot exist. This is where you will start to heal the pain of feeling shameful.

Think for yourself especially if you had toxic people around you when you were little. At any time in our lives we can mistakenly absorb shame because there are so many shame based people in our environment. Get rid of it. Stop believing lies about yourself. Test the lies and you will see they are not the truth. Challenge all notions of negativity. Shame is a useless, wasteful emotion.

We heal slowly one word at a time, one thought at a time, one breath at a time.

Find those who you can trust and who will lift you up. You will see that you can be the person you want to be by shedding the coat of crap loaded on you.

Take the risk. Take the chance. You can do it. I believe in you and I am absolutely sure you can shed the shame cloak.

Go ahead try. You will win. Do not let the enemy called Shame win. Period.

Oct23

Thoughtful Thursdays # 71 – Carolyn Myss

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Always go with the choice

that acares you the most,

because that’s the one that is going to require

the most of you.

Carolyn Myss

How many times have you slinked away from change or obstacle? How many times have you taken the easy way? How many times have you let opportunities for growing just slip away because you were scared?

Welcome to the club. Everyone does this and after a while it becomes a way of life.

Now is the time to think about your behavior and why you do the things you do. Why do I react the way I do. What lies do I believe about myself. What are my strengths, what are my less than stellar behaviors.

I know it feels overwhelming but one tiny, tiny step in looking at what you are doing with bring startling insights.

Go ahead try it. It will feel strange at first. Practice, practice, practice.

Oct16

Thoughtful Thursdays #70 Projections

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Projections, not the kind that are astral. The kind that come from your mind.

The times when the thinking habits of the past
present themselves in the moment.

In other words, if you are wondering why your relationships are a battle ground, they are probably reminiscent of the past.

Good or bad.

Mark E. Smith, of Family Tree Counseling explains it well. I am paraphrasing here.

All relationships, especially the closest will reveal all of our dark side. The hatred, jealousy, pain, abaondonement and rage just to name a few. This happens because it is Mother Nature seeking balance.

This is true, think of a time when some serious thing went wrong. The wrong played itself out and balance was restored.

It is the same in nature. The destruction of hurricanes, fires and floods wreck havoc. But the chaos is short lived. Balance is restored, flowers grow, animals return , people come back to rebuild. It is the same thing with our emotional life.

It is the same in every encounter, there is a need for balance. Feel what works, what doesn’t work. What is smooth, what is jagged. The smooth takes care of itself. Hence the reason for staying calm and seeking detachment.

Don’t react to what is jagged, you will get cut. Detach be objective, this is what wins over chaos. Chaos is temporary it will fizzle out.

Out of every tragedy comes strength and understanding. That is the point. It is to make you aware, awake and whole again, and knowledgeable to become a guide to others.

These things don’t happen unless you are strong and able to look at what is going on. Accept what happens, seek change, don’t run away from it. It is your trademark of adaptation.

Those who adapt survive and prosper.

Oct9

Thoughtful Thursdays #69- Change

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Oh there is that cursed word again. CHANGE. We know we must do it. We know the excuses for not doing it. We conveniently forget what we must do only to remember at 2 am.

We can see very plainly how hard it is to change ourselves.

Which makes is pretty obvious that it is next to impossible to change someone else.

So what is the answer.

Learn how you function.

How you think.

What are your fears.

What lies are you believing.

There is no right way or wrong way.

You can CHANGE in your own way.

Whenever you are ready.

Oct2

Thoughtful thursdays # 68 The 35 Essential Insights of The Buddha compliled By Neil Legault

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The Buddha is one of my favorite teachers. Thank you to Mr. Legault for compiling these important teachings.

There’s a Buddhist story; one of the Buddha’s students approached him and asked “Are you the messiah?” No, he replied. “Well are you a healer?” “No.” He replied. “Well are you a teacher then?” “No.” He replied again. “Well then what are you?” Buddha replied ‘’I am awake.’’

Believe nothing. No matter where you read it, no matter who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and you own common sense.”

First, rely on the spirit and meaning of the teachings not on the words. Second, rely on the teachings not on the personality of the teacher. Third, rely on real wisdom. Not superficial interpretation. And fourth, rely on the essence on your pure wisdom mind. Not on judgemental perceptions.

If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let one meal pass without sharing it in some way.

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Neither fire nor wind, neither birth nor death, can erase our good deeds.

You yourself as much as anyone in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

There is no fire like greed, No crime like hatred, No sorrow like separation, No sickness like hunger of heart, And no joy like the joy of freedom.

Health, contentment and trust are your greatest possessions, and freedom your greatest joy.

Look within. Be still. Free from fear and attachment, know the sweet joy of living in The Way.

The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into habit. And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care. And let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings.

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

The tongue, like a sharp knife, kills without drawing blood.

Words have the power to both destroy and to heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.

Everything is based on mind, is led by mind, is fashioned by mind. If you speak and act with a polluted mind, suffering will follow you, as the wheels of the oxcart follow the footsteps of the ox. Everything is based on mind, is led by mind, is fashioned by mind. If you speak and act with a pure mind, happiness will follow you, as a shadow clings to a form.

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.

Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through love. This is an unalterable law.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

What we think we become.

Fill your mind with compassion.

Pay no attention to the faults of others, things done or left undone by others. Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone.

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.

Avoid all haughty, conceited, proud, and arrogant minds, and remain peaceful and subdued.

Generate compassion for lowly beings, and especially avoid despising or humiliating them.

Do not be jealous of others’ good qualities, but out of admiration adopt them yourself.

Do not look for faults in others, but look for faults in yourself, and purge them like bad blood.

Since you cannot tame the minds of others until you have tamed your own, begin by taming your own mind.

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.

Abandon wrongdoing. It can be done. If there were no likelihood, I would not ask you to do it.

But since it is possible and since it brings blessing and happiness, I do ask of you; abandon wrongdoing.

Cultivate doing good. It can be done. If it brought deprivation and sorrow, I would not ask you to do it.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

Buddha’s last words: All conditioned things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Try to accomplish your own salvation with diligence.

Sep25

Thoughtful Thursdays #67 – Moving Forward

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Why is it so hard to change? Why is ti so hard to move on? Why do we get stuck?

There are so many possibilities as to why anything happens. There is a value to figuring out the whys.

However, taking action in any direction will allow the whys to come forward faster than just thinking about the many whys,

Action allows the mind to be distracted enough to let your subconscious do its job and inform you as necessary.

This is mother nature at work creating balance.

That’s the whole idea, isn’t it? To have balance.

Happy action.