Tag Archives: direction

Thoughtful Thursday #305 – IFS aka Internal Family System

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In case you never heard of IFS it is a remarkable therapy for healing, it’s based on the premise that we all are comprised of many mental and emotional parts.

(Paraphrased from their literature).  IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz over the last 30 years. This model is a transformative and evidence based model of psychotherapy. Our inner parts have valuable qualities and our core self knows how to heal. IFS is a new movement for understanding the mind, harmonizing the mind and heals the mind.

I have been practicing this method for five years and I can tell you from first hand experience that the results I have gotten are miraculous, permanent and made me grow emotionally by leaps and bounds.

So if you have tried other types of psychotherapy and not much has helped try IFS.

Contact http://www.IFS-Institute.com.

Thoughtful Thursday #298 – Coronavirus and Panic

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Coronavirus pandemic is causing tremendous panic to everyone. People are hoarding essentials, emptying  grocery shelves, and businesses are overcharging for safety material.  That is more than enough to cause a panic in addition to the possiblity in catching the coronavirus.

Panic is a natural response to what is happening, there is a sense of loss in many areas, our normal routines, restricted freedom, minimum socializing, noticing stores are overcharging  for everything, this is to name a few losses.

It’s OK, this is a temporary situation and at this point we are entrenched in this new norm and many of us are thinking about all the possibilities that can occur when this is over.

Self care is most important during this time. Do what it takes to get grounded and calm, look at happy movies and videos, turn off the news, reach out to others on social media, find a way to get peaceful and connected. And follow the CDC guidelines.

We will come out of this, this is guaranteed, so in this period of isolation be creative in your self care.

Stay safe and well.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #297 – Attachment Trauma and Injuries

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There are a number of attachment styles that people adopt. Anxious, Avoidant, Secure, Dismissive. These are the four major styles, You can look up the details on Google.

Attachment injuries come from mostly from family of origin issues.

How do you know you have an attachment issue, your relationships are not working, you feel invisible, you are not getting your needs met, you are allowing others to sabotage and abuse you somehow.

This is heavy stuff so I want to share an expert Attachment Trauma, relationship coach and Psychotherapist Alan Robarge, Here’s a video explaining this issue.

Hope you find it healing.

Thoughtful Thursday #279 – Reinvention

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It’s normal and necessary to reinvent ourselves over and over during our entire lifetime.

How do we reinvent ourselves, by changing the way we behave just like a singer who reinvents their career over and over. You are no different from a celebrity. You are the star of your own life and can grow and adapt as you go on in your precious life.

Don’t be afraid to experiment, you don’t have to explain or justify the new you, get out of your comfort zone, be honest with yourself and others.

Make your one and only life happy for you over and over. Find your courage, set some goals, create a plan, write it all down on paper, you can always change it as you go along, you may even have to relentlessly reassess. And take your time there is no finish line.

Have fun while you are at it and remind yourself every day that you are worth the effort.

Thoughtful Thursday #274 – Mass Murder and Mental Health

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There are many Mass Murderers in recent history who murder lots of innocent people. Their methods of murder vary.

These actions are typical of a walking wounded adult child. This behavior may have be a last ditch effort to ease the psychological pain the person endured their entire life. Or perhaps their mind is so twisted from the ongoing dysfunction of a pathological household they actually enjoy hurting as many people as possible, or maybe they are not in touch with their own humanity and feel justified in this heinous actions.These actions are caused from poor mental health.

I am sure there are red flags in this type of self absorbed behavior for a very long time. However no one came forward to report concerns to the authorities.

Normal people don’t go around destroying others, it’s a simple fact.

Mental health is the number one concern next to physical health to live in this fast moving world.  the The need for mental health information and practical resources must come into the public view more readily to end these useless acts of violence.

I will certainly keep writing about ending senseless violence on all levels by reminding everyone to take their mental health seriously.

Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about mental health, we will all be so much happier.

Thoughtful Thursday #271 – José Micard Teixeira Author & Coach

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Here’s a post from one of my favorite writers, in this short article he says what most of us want to express.

His writing is a reminder that we must choose to be ourselves always even if you are unsure, scared or insecure. Live like  “a rebel with no shame” as Mr. Teixeira says.

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I repel everything that’s supposed to be. I reject everything that it’s imposed on me. I can’t stand conditions or hierarchies. All this immodesty and false humility angers me. I have a hard time accepting injustice and prejudice. I hardly can make friendships and partnerships because it demands from me what I don’t want or know how to give. I’m a loner with an optimistic attitude who seeks to postpone everyday his mental illness. I’m not mad, but I love the madness in finding me mad. I’m proud of who I am. I’m not going to change for anyone. I don’t care about what others think of me. I do what I want and I say whatever I feel like. I’m a rebel with no shame. There’s nothing else to do. I’ll die smiling.

José Micard Teixeira
Author & Coach

Thoughtful Thursday #250 – Ghost Stories of the Past

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I like ghost stories on TV and in books. They are kind of scary and kind of silly.

I don’t like flashbacks of shadowy ghost stories and past violations and the need to look over my shoulder.

Even those days are long gone there is a part of me that still holds those ghost stories, They are actually the traumatized part of me that have not been updated to the present safe moments.

In trauma there are many subtle, under my consciousness beliefs that manage to slip into my daily behavior. Even though I am quite aware of this behavior I don’t always see these trauma beliefs being acted out until it’s too late.

To get past my personal ghost stories I write a lot to get those hidden ghost stories out into the open. From there I can examine the belief and set the past free and update my beliefs to a more modern and current conclusion.

Afterwards I feel refreshed, grounded and content.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday – #244 – Stream of Consciousness Writing

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I usually write with stream of consciousness because it’s easy and therapeutic. Here’s an article about several writers who use this method very effectively. From Quiklit.com.

10 WRITERS WHO USE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE

By May Huang

A narrative technique that has perplexed and fascinated readers for centuries, the stream of consciousness technique has been used by many writers to trace the seamless (and oft erratic) musings of characters such as Mrs. Dalloway and Stephen Dedalus. Below are 10 writers whose works – ranked amongst the finest in English literature – feature the stream of consciousness technique.

Okay, but what is Stream of Consciousness?

Stream of Consciousness is a type of writing that originated with the works of psychologist William James (Brother of Novelist Emeritus Henry James). Basically, its purpose is to emulate the passage of thought through your mind without any inhibitors. For that reason, sentences become longer, less organized and more sporadic in style. Its lack of structure is not for everybody, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t any order. Stream of consciousness permits deeper patterns of order to emerge, ones based on the genuine movement of information in your brain. It also permits writers to simulate different forms of consciousness, such as dreams, comas, drug use and hallucinatory seances.

  1. Dorothy Richardson

Considered the pioneer of the stream-of-consciousness technique, 20th century British author Dorothy Richardson was the first author to publish a full length stream-of-consciousness novel: Pointed Roofs. In fact, it was in reviewing Pointed Roofs that British author May Sinclaire first coined the term ‘stream-of-consciousness’ in April 1918.

On one side was the little grey river, on the other long wet grass repelling and depressing. Not far ahead was the roadway which led, she supposed to the farm where they were to drink new milk. She would have to walk with someone when they came to the road, and talk. She wondered whether this early morning walk would come, now, every day. Her heart sank at the thought.” from Pointed Roofs

  1. William Faulkner

Recipient of both the Nobel Prize in Literature and the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction, American author William Faulkner used the stream of consciousness technique to great effect in The Sound and the Fury and As I Lay Dying, exploring the depths of different characters’ inner conflict through disjointed, unpunctuated narrative. In one short paragraph, the reader is at once exposed to different smells, sounds and movement:

“Nonsense you look like a girl you are lots younger than Candace color in your cheeks like a girl A face reproachful tearful an odor of camphor and of tears a voice weeping steadily and softly beyond the twilit door the twilight-colored smell of honey suckle. Bringing empty trunks down the attic stairs they sounded like coffins […]” – from As I Lay Dying

  1. James Joyce

Dublin born writer James Joyce employed the stream-of-consciousness style in all of his novels, including Finnegans WakeA Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man and – of course – the 1000-page, 265,000-word long Ulysses. It is easy to get lost in any paragraph in the novel, as the protagonist Stephen Dedalus guides us quickly – and disjointedly – through his thoughts and surroundings. One moment he is asking himself, “Would you go back to then?” and the next he is on Grafton street, pondering whether to buy a pincushion while the “jingle of harnesses” sounds in his ears. Then, out of the blue, he answers himself and concludes that it would be “useless to go back.” Next thing you know, he’s moved on to Duke Street and we’re not quite sure how he – or we – got there.

  1. Virginia Woolf

 

Recognized as the most important feminist writer (and perhaps one of the most important writers in general) of all time, Virginia Woolf used the stream-of-consciousness technique to great significance in her work. Paying scrupulous attention to detail and describing even “the footman’s hand,” “parcels and umbrellas.” Woolf takes readers through different minds, perspectives and surroundings in Mrs. Dalloway. She makes us wonder who is speaking – and about what.

  1. Marcel Proust

French writer Marcel Proust also used the stream-of-consciousness style in his works, notably in the seven-volume long Remembrance of Things Past, in which even the simple childhood memory of eating a petite madeleine plunges one into the “vast structure of recollection.” Reading Proust, one is caught up in the taste and smell of the pastry, “the water-lilies on the Vivonne” and “Sunday mornings at Combray” – all of which are memories that converge in the narrator’s stream of consciousness.

  1. Jack Kerouac

American writer Jack Kerouac’s On the Road is now remembered as one of the defining novels of the Beat Generation – as well as a modern example of stream-of-consciousness writing. Originally written over a course of 3 weeks on one scroll of paper (deemed the ‘original scroll’),On the Road is based on Kerouac’s road trip across America, a journey at times vividly recounted in continuous stream-of-consciousness prose, fusing both description of land and memory:

The brown hills led off towards Nevada; to the South was my legendary Hollywood; to the North the mysterious Shasta country. Down below was everything: the barracks where we stole our tiny box of condiments, where Dostioffski’s tiny face had glared at us […]” from On the Road

  1. José Saramago

Portuguese Nobel Prize Laureate Jose Saramago, like Woolf, also liked to alternative between narratives and use stream-of-consciousness in his writing. In Blindness, Saramago uses long sentences and eschews quotation marks to enhance the seamlessness of his prose, allowing the stream-of-consciousness to run free of interruption:

The very air in the ward seemed to have become heavier, emitting strong lingering odours, with sudden wafts that were simply nauseating, What will this place be like within a week, he asked himself, and it horrified him to think that in a week’s time, they would still be confined here, Assuming there won’t be any problems with food supplies, and who can be sure there isn’t already a shortage, I doubt, for example, whether those outside have any idea from one minute to the next…” – from Blindness

  1. Samuel Backett

The second French writer on this list, Samuel Beckett used the stream of consciousness technique in his Three Novels (Molloy, Malone Dies and the Unnamable) to deliver a stream of observations and musings on time and existence. In fact, Molloy defies conventional grammar and tense rules in order to emphasize the continuity of the narrator’s non-stop train of thought:

What shall I do? What shall I do? now low, a murmur, now precise as the headwaiter’s And to follow? and often rising to a scream. And in the end, or almost, to be abroad alone, by unknown ways, in the gathering night, with a stick.” – from Molloy

  1. Fyodor Dostoevsky

Although Crime and Punishment is Russian writer Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s best-known work, his 1864 novella Notes from Underground also sits amongst the classics of Russian literature. Throughout the novel, the ‘Underground Man’ expresses his continuous train of thought through long, comma-filled sentences (even in brackets).

If you take, for instance, the antithesis of the normal man, that is, the man of acute consciousness, who has come, of course, not out of the lap of nature but out of a retort (this is almost mysticism, gentlemen, but I suspect this, too), this retort-made man is sometimes so nonplussed in the presence of his antithesis that with all his exaggerated consciousness he genuinely thinks of himself as a mouse and not a man. It may be an acutely conscious mouse, yet it is a mouse, while the other is a man, and therefore, et caetera, et caetera.” – from Notes from Underground

  1. Toni Morrison

83 year old African American author Toni Morrison published several books on slavery, the most compelling of which is undoubtedly Beloved. The story of a ‘ghost baby’ who returns to her family in the form of a grown woman, Beloved is both a harrowing tale about the horrors of slavery as it is a testament to the unrelenting power of memory. Morrison uses stream of consciousness in one of the final chapters to reveal the intermingling of three characters’ thoughts:

Beloved

You are my sister

You are my daughter

You are my face; you are me

I have found you again; you have come back to me

You are my Beloved

You are mine

You are mine

You are mine

I have your milk

I have your smile

I will take care of you

You are my face; I am you. Why did you leave me

who am you?” – from Beloved

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #221 – Flashbacks

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I have had two strong flashbacks that has kicked my complex trauma response into high gear. That’s the thing with C-PTSD flashbacks, it places me in two worlds. The world of the past and the present.

Flashbacks are important in trauma recovery but not at all easy to process. Flashbacks are a necessary part of healing. You can’t heal if you don’t feel.

At this time there is a part of me that feels it’s safe enough to allow a repressed memory to surface. I am thankful for that. Doing this kind of work and the willingness to feel the feelings of the past uncovers underlying traumatic emotions.

Once the repressed feelings come to the surface it is easier to make positive change, stay in the present moment and get happy again.

Thoughtful Thursday – #220 – Finding The Truth

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When I was sixteen years old it occurred to me that something was terribly wrong with my family interactions. This was the beginning of my long journey, or should I say my lifelong journey of finding the truth. This journey has been very hard at times but the more truth that was uncovered the healthier and happier I became.

Finding the truth unveiled lots of information that helped me understand the dysfunctional dynamics that were going on and where I was placed within that strange puzzle.

I am still unraveling the trauma all these years later. And I am not at all disturbed by this. As hard as it is to know the sick truths of the horrible treatment I incurred, I will never stop looking for the truth.

On the bright side, the more I know about me the more I know about others. The side effect of finding the truth of human behavior is the ability to know others and that is priceless.