Therapy – a scary word to some, the sound of relief to others. Seems extreme, doesn’t it?
For those who have no experience with therapy, it must seem strange, unusual, for losers. Those are the ones who are scared and not willing to do the hard, exhausting work of being aware.
For those who have some experience and left too soon gave into resistance. They were about to have a breakthrough but chickened out.
There are those that are curious and search different types of therapy as an easy way of quick fixing their mental health. But this is not really helpful.
For those who have many years of therapy learn that the hard work of changing yourself is worth the blood, sweat and tears of awareness. I am not saying this happens all the time. Sometimes the change is subtle and on a subconscious level.
I advocate therapy because you have one person who is your die-hard ally who is interested in only you and your life. Therapists are mostly compassionate and caring and possibly give you the time, attention and care you may never had. If you are willing to be honest about how you feel to another trusted human being you will be transformed. At times it won’t be easy and that’s OK. There is no rush and no judgement. Just acceptance.
It takes just a little trust and courage to open up in a safe setting. We cannot heal in isolation, we need at least one person who is detached and objective to believe and validate us. Give it a try. You will uncover the truth of your life and you just may like it.
Fear of abandonment is a core survival instinct. In a more rural time if you were banished from your village it meant certain death. We are born to feel belonging, it’s part of being human, when we are abandoned physically or emotionally it’s a death of sorts.
If we are abandoned today we won’t die but become dysfunctionally alone, barren, unable to trust, and painfully aware we belong nowhere.
There is a cure for this. You will not want to hear it.
You are the cure. You are the light at the end of the tunnel.
Do what it takes to process the damage of abandonment by significant others. Learn to trust yourself. You are all you need now. You are the strong one, able to live wholly on your own and not in a crowd. You are now able to allow what you want – not waiting for others to include you. You are in control of your own life and that is freedom.
You are the leader of the pack. Out of all the times you doubted you could survive. You did. You did a magnificent job. You deserve an Olympic metal for survival
Congratulations you win.
It’s really hard to move forward in life. We work hard to keep going, getting up every day to try to better ourselves.
All it takes is one small momentary lack of judgement to lose everything and start back at the beginning.
It’s easy to slip back into old ways and be discouraged by setbacks. It’s OK to feel that way. Start again from the beginning. You will regain your composure and move forward again.
Emotions are a barometer of information. Have you ever felt a strong emotion come up for, what seems to be, no good reason? Emotions can be triggered by a memory of the past. Emotions come up for you to examine, emotions won’t kill you, but they may scare you.
There is clearly a message with the emotion. If you can stay with the uneasiness of the emotion and examine it, you will be able to release it. Sorta like a balloon floating up into the air never to be seen again. It’s the same with the emotion that may be holding you back. This is the mystery of the subconscious (where emotions live) that is at work all the time. But we don’t realize it.
Feel it, release it, feel it, release it. Repeat
Will it be easy? Nope. But it works every time and you will be free.