Tag Archives: Your Life’s Work

Thoughtful Thursdays #188 – Move Closer

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There are some pretty scary emotions that we run from. Our minds race with one disaster after another. Our society almost demands that we let it go and move on from tragedy or trauma. Letting go and moving on is not possible if we smother the very emotions we need to move closer to. Emotions like fear, abandonment, isolation and worthlessness.

Move closer to the parts of you that you exiled. Move closer to the very emotions that scare you. Move closer to approval for all strange events you survived. Move closer to being curious about your behavior. Move closer to the parts that are so hard to accept and love. Move closer to having compassion and kindness for yourself. Move closer to being intimate with our own courage. Move closer to deeply knowing who you are because you can’t help anyone else without helping yourself first.

It won’t be easy but so worth the effort. Your thinking will become more integrated and grounded. And an important perk to this effort is you will become more productive, understanding and confident.

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Thoughtful Thursday #187 – Pain and Shame

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Pain and shame are the hardest feelings to sit with. We will do anything not to feel them.

When we are willing to go to these frightening places something wonderful happens. We have the chance to witness past and present events and their impact with a new, clearer sight. Which illuminates  our thinking about close relationships in the present.

You may even become determined in changing those relationships and becoming free to choose healthier alternatives.

All it takes is a little bit of curiosity and courage to look at those scary emotional places and a baby step toward a new direction.

Thoughtful Thursday #186 – Family

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Family is a loaded subject for me because my family consists of my kids, cats and me. I never had a real family with a loving parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. Nor could I give that to my kids. I did the best I could and I always talked about our situation and encouraged my kids to have lots of friends. Which they did.

I often wonder what that would have been like to have that family you see advertised on Christmas cards and commercials.  The kind of family you see going on vacations and sitting at the dinner table. The kind of family that you could trust and talk to.

I did try to be that family for my kids. We are not perfect but we have each other.

I know the definition of family is different for everyone and no family is perfect.

I decided a long time ago that it’s OK to be a small family and there is no reason why we can’t pick and choose non-biological family members.

After all, family is about including others and family includes everyone we care about.

Thoughtful Thursdays #184 – Inner World – Outer World

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We all have an inner and outer world. In our head there are so many thoughts and voices it’s hard to identify which way is the most effective way.

We all have an outer world that reflects your inner world. The mess, confusion, the paralysis.

How to get the both in sync is to find your way of grounding yourself.

To start: In whatever task you are doing direct your thoughts to the present moment.

For example: I am washing the dishes, I am cutting an onion, I am driving my car, I am walking the dog. Bring attention to your breathing. Let the thoughts come with no judgement. Don’t judge yourself either.

The idea is to get out of your head for a little while and find a sense of peace away from racing thoughts and impulsive actions.

Your inner world and outer world will thank you for the peace.

Thoughtful Thursdays #183 – Road Rage

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Road rage is never about the traffic incident, it’s about underlying, unresolved anger that is misplaced.

Over reacting to any situation is usually about unresolved hurt, anger,  oppression or any other uncomfortable feeling of  frustration.

I am not minimizing that a particular event like road rage is not meaningful.

These trigger events are meaningful because they show you where you have been hiding, and not dealing with uncomfortable stuff.

These trigger events are your reminder of where you are not looking to be healed.

These trigger events are your teachers.

These trigger events are monumental in transforming your life.

Look where you are hurting, go to the places that make you uncomfortable, be willing to be curious about what is triggering you.

You may have to change some stuff: do you need to remove yourself from a situation, do you need to protect yourself, do you need to have a difficult conversation. Then by all means do it, it’s going to hurt temporarily, but you will be so much better off in the long run.

Welcome Road Rage and any other Rage into your life. It’s the place you need to change something.

Thoughtful Thursdays #181 – Generosity

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I am not talking about being generous with  huge donations of time and money and goods. I am talking about generosity with the small things that are so meaningful.

Listening with full attention, giving a supportive hug, saying kind and reassuring words, giving of your labor, making time for someone who needs you, holding a door, spend the day being courteous to everyone, in the face of conflict or differing opinions stay calm and don’t react, finding in your heart to do no harm with your words or actions.

These are just a few incognito generous actions you can take. You will end up helping someone else and feeling so much more accomplished as a human being.

Carry on you lovely generous being.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #180 – Emotional Trauma in the Body

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It is common information about emotional trauma being trapped in the body. Google it or go to the library for reading material.

However, how do we uncover emotions without the long stretches in therapy or costly physical therapies?

Start with walking more, take the stairs, swim, dance, rent a bike, work out, walk your neighbor’s dog, garden, yoga on youtube.

The next step to exorcise those pesky emotions that sneak up on you and settle in your body, sit with paper and pen or open a word document  and pour your mind onto a page.

By exercising you can release trauma from your body which is connected to your mind.

By writing you exorcise trauma from your mind which is connected to your body.

Find your balance.

Thoughtful Thursdays # 179 – 15 Minutes

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If you have 15 minutes for yourself what would you do?

Call a friend, Mend some clothing, Paint a picture, Sing a song, Write in stream of consciousness, Meditate, Listen to you favorite music, Draw a picture, Write a positive note to your significant other, Feed your pet some treats, Gaze at the night sky, Sit still in the morning hours before daylight, Read something interesting, Count the stars, Sip a hot beverage, Send good wishes to those in need, Not complain in your voice or head, Just listen intently to your environment.

Finish the list of your favorites.

And you do have 15 minutes anytime you want. Indulge happily.

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 177 – Louise Hay

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Louise Hay died 8.30.17 at the age of 90. I started reading her self-help books many years ago. She wrote affirmations and gave words of encouragement. She grew up in a hostile home and knew the importance of healing our minds because through our minds we could heal the trauma trapped in our bodies. She was an advocate  and visionary of self-healing. She was passionate about serving others through her books, talks and healing words.

You Can Heal Your Life and Heal Your Body are just two but classic books on self-healing. She also recorded several YouTube videos.

So in those moments of emotional pain and upset here are some affirmations to get you started on the road to healing.

20 Quotes To Remember Louise Hay By

Love is never outside ourselves; love is within us.

In the infinity of life where I am, All is perfect, whole and complete, I no longer choose to believe in old limitations and lack, I now choose to begin to see myself. As the Universe sees me — perfect, whole, and complete.

We may not know how to forgive, and we many not want to forgive; but the very fact we say we are willing to forgive begins the healing practice.

The past is over and done and cannot be changed. This is the only moment we can experience. Deep at the center of my being there is an infinite well of gratitude. I now allow this gratitude to fill my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being. This gratitude radiates out from me in all directions, touching everything in my world, and returns to me as more to be grateful for. The more gratitude I feel, the more I am aware that the supply is endless.

You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.

Begin to recognize prosperity everywhere, and rejoice in it.

If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.

Love is the greatest healing power I know. Love can heal even the deepest and most painful memories because love brings the light of understanding to the darkest corners of our hearts and minds.

As I say YES to life, life says YES to me.

You are the only person who thinks in your mind! You are the power and authority in your world.

No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind.

Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.

Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.

Every thought we think is creating our future.

Look at the ‘problems’ in your life. Ask yourself, ‘What kind of thoughts am I having that create this?

You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.

I say “Out” to every negative thought that comes to my mind. No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it.

Every time you meditate, every time you do visualization for healing, every time you say something for healing the whole planet, you are connecting with like-minded people all over the planet who are doing the same thing.

I grow spiritually when I accept responsibility for my life.

Be willing to take the first step, no matter how small it is. Concentrate on the fact that you are willing to learn. Absolute miracles will happen.

Happy healing.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #176 – Internalized Oppression

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Internalized oppression is when we  have been oppressed and unwittingly use the methods of the oppressor against ourselves. The oppressor could be family of origin, your unfulfilling job, negative friends, or any other area that feels oppressive. Wow that is a heavy realization.

How do we recognize this internalized oppression?

  1. Where am I punishing myself. Am I continuing a behavior that is keeping me down.
  2. Are my beliefs based on an oppressors opinion?
  3. Do I want to assimilate or  fit in with my oppressors to feel of value?
  4. Do you have oppressive views of your identity?
  5. Do you believe you have no power?

Here are some remedies. I am sure there are many more.

  1. Stop a negative behavior and sit with the feeling. There’s a good chance there is shame and guilt present. Express any feelings that come up.
  2. You now have permission to have your own opinions and don’t need any validation but your own.
  3. You are not supposed to fit in, you are supposed to be your own person without apologies.
  4. Your identity is your own, no one can tell you who you are.
  5. Power can be overwhelming, take baby steps in reclaiming your personal power.

We learn to oppress ourselves, and it can be unlearned. This is the work of an empowered adult.

So get to work, you are worth it.