Monthly Archives: October 2014

Thoughtful Thursdays #72 – Shame

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Shame will kill you and it is dangerous. Most suicides are shame based, addictions, acting out, aggression, violence are shame based. Shame is also a very social condition where we compare ourselves to others.

Shame effects intimacy, shame effects self esteem. Shame holds us back and makes us fearful of everything. Shame is pervasive, insidious, invisible and full of hatred

Shame shows up in toxic relationships and chaos. Shame shows up when you find yourself beating yourself up. Shame brings guilt, sadness, regret.

Shame will destroy your life. Shame shows up in not caring for yourself.

Shame shows up in the underachiever and overachiever. Shame will stop you from thinking.

Thinking is the only way to save yourself from further self inflicted injury be it emotional or otherwise. Thinking will grow your self esteem and see the possibilities of getting out of any mess you are in.

Brene Brown is a shame researcher and she says: if we share our story with someone who is empathetic, shame has no where to live, it cannot exist. This is where you will start to heal the pain of feeling shameful.

Think for yourself especially if you had toxic people around you when you were little. At any time in our lives we can mistakenly absorb shame because there are so many shame based people in our environment. Get rid of it. Stop believing lies about yourself. Test the lies and you will see they are not the truth. Challenge all notions of negativity. Shame is a useless, wasteful emotion.

We heal slowly one word at a time, one thought at a time, one breath at a time.

Find those who you can trust and who will lift you up. You will see that you can be the person you want to be by shedding the coat of crap loaded on you.

Take the risk. Take the chance. You can do it. I believe in you and I am absolutely sure you can shed the shame cloak.

Go ahead try. You will win. Do not let the enemy called Shame win. Period.

More Than Your Mind

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point of light

We are so much more than what we think. Reflecting and deep thinking leads us away from body consciousness to soul consciousness.

The qualities of soul consciousness are Peace, Love, Purity, Happiness, Bliss,

The more we practice soul consciousness the more we can discriminate between truth and lies, we can withdraw from any situation and go within ourselves to see what we are feeling. We aquire the power to tolerate uncomfortable situations, We can face all obstacles with courage. We can adjust to what is going on around us. We will have the power to cooperate with others.

Soul consciousness teaches and overcomes all challanges.

All we have to do is practice the qualities with an open mind and willing heart. This will lead to a fulfilling life.

Try it. You will succeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I will give everything to you

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Maxima

091Written: © Maxima
I will give everything to you

Dear friends and lovers of my poetry,
This book, talked about a lot lately and due to be published soon, was supposed to be released a while ago. Partly because of some technical issues but mostly for the sake of my own need to make it perfect, its publication was delayed. It is dedicated to a woman I love, a woman whose love permeates every word of it. Since it is my gift to her, I hope it will bring joy to her beautiful soul, bring out her lovely smile and a tear of joy in her eye. She is amazing, she is my inspiration… I know it will make her smile; she will kiss me and say: ‘ You’re gorgeous. I love you immensely. I want to hold you, put my head on your shoulder and whisper the sweetest words…

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Thoughtful Thursdays # 71 – Carolyn Myss

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Always go with the choice

that acares you the most,

because that’s the one that is going to require

the most of you.

Carolyn Myss

How many times have you slinked away from change or obstacle? How many times have you taken the easy way? How many times have you let opportunities for growing just slip away because you were scared?

Welcome to the club. Everyone does this and after a while it becomes a way of life.

Now is the time to think about your behavior and why you do the things you do. Why do I react the way I do. What lies do I believe about myself. What are my strengths, what are my less than stellar behaviors.

I know it feels overwhelming but one tiny, tiny step in looking at what you are doing with bring startling insights.

Go ahead try it. It will feel strange at first. Practice, practice, practice.

Dating the Sons of Satan

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Satan is the king of Hell. Devils are his sons. In this world I have dated and lived with several Devils. They have names like Devil Tom, Devil Dick, Devil Harry. Oh yeah, I met three Devil Damian’s, named after Satan’s son the Devil Damian in the Omen movie. I watched that movie and took some notes, the movie is pretty accurate in its depiction of a Devil. Powerful sexy guy protected by Satan’s minion and sucks up all the light he can.

Here on earth there are regular guys who you would never guess travel up the dark side. Until you get to know them better. Sometimes they reveal themselves quickly as sons of darkness because they know who they are. Sometimes it takes years to figure it out because they are well hidden. Here are some of the characteristics of the Sons of Satan.

1. His irresistible sensuality. An instant attraction and not only you notice it but so does everyone else.
2. He is genderless. Depending on his sexual preference of the moment he can swing both ways with no problem.
3. He will usually have one important significant other and at least one other to satisfy his appetite.
4. He will love you till you can’t stand but will be hard to live with.
5. He is sensitive, dramatic and tell you sweet things that your deepest insecurities need to hear.
6. He may speak in different tongues of ancient languages.
7. Can astral project himself and any other entity he is attached to.
8. He is perceived as dangerous, intense, exciting.
9. He may be rich and powerful, or poor and needy.
10. You will feel you met your soul mate.
11. Some are quite controlling. Others could have magnetic multiple personalities.
12. This relationship will be truly significant.
13. He will put you face to face with your desires, wishes, dreams, illusions, fears and rage.
14. He will feel of this earth yet otherworldly.
15. He will struggle with his conscience. You will notice it in his moodiness.
16. You will be obsessed with him and so will your competition.
17. He is addictive.
18. He can switch roles of domination or submissiveness.
19. He is contradictory.
20. You will love him to your last breath.

What is the purpose of these Devils?

This is his purpose: we actually bring these Devils to ourselves because our souls are desperate for the fires of transformation. It is the Devil who shows us our dark side. The side we refuse to take out and examine, our laziness, shame, guilt, judgment, selfish attitudes and drunkard illusions of perfection which are shattered when we realize all is not as it seems. Our emptiness is exposed. We were searching to be whole. We searched outside of ourselves to feel complete. We willingly have the Devil bring us down the abyss of grand scale trickery because we gave our power to someone we thought was trustworthy instead of trusting ourselves.

How do they exist?

They exist by eating your light. The light of happiness, self confidence, assertiveness, dream fulfillment or anything that brings you delight. Dark cannot exist without light. Devils are hungry for the light. We as the light are actually their beacon of either their emotional food or enlightenment if they choose to follow it. It is as simple as that. They know they are dark shadows working destruction. They can’t help themselves, they are born of the destruction that one human does to another. The senseless soul murders humans do to one another via abuse, hatred, anger, selfishness or even worse. When soul murders are meted out humans become aligned with the dark forces unwittingly. Or because there is no other way to survive.

Why do they exist?

They exist because they have a job to do. This meeting will be one of the most significant of your life. You will almost die because of it. You may have more than one. He will not fulfill your dreams but tear your guts out. You will reach the point of being so fragile that you will barely know yourself. It will be feeling pain that will expose what you are hiding from yourself. They exist to deliver transformation. In many cases these dark workers still have light and can be transformed in the same manner if they are willing.

This will be a personal journey with no right or wrong direction. This was the only thing that would catch our attention. The only drama that shouts to us that we need to change something that is lacking. We have a place in the world and this is a chance to redeem and progress.

These Devils remind us that we are great creatures here to bring light. It is useless to curse the Devil. When you curse the Devil and fear them they will bring forth destruction because they see your weakness. To wish destruction will only bring more destruction. Destruction feeds on more destruction.

When you face them they respect and protect you. Don’t blame the Devil for doing what he does, it is all he knows. He has brought you to your truth, real self and crushed your ignorance of yourself.

I have taken up challenges to be on the dark side. I want to taste and know what is forbidden and what is possibly frightening. I have pursued it. I have begged and asked for it but for some reason now I have no takers. Perhaps I am too strong for them at this point. Or I have become a Devil unto myself. Or I have absorbed their reality.

I want to bring out the darkness in me so I can see my light reflected in you. Bring the light out in me so I can see my darkness reflected in you.

I have had these relationships in the past both from significate others and family members and I was left destroyed and devastated many times only to emerge better than I was before. I am much stronger now. However, I still want to be challenged to be a better person, I have always loved the risk of the dark side. I love the dark side period. Knowing full well like the Phoenix I will be burned to death to relive again. I want to wake up and emerge bright as star light.

I want the Devil to see his own light. I want the Devils emptiness shattered. I think he wants that too. I don’t care if he lives in Hades. I don’t care if its risky. I will still stand next to eternal darkness and radiant in my own light. I want the Devil to teach me what I need to see.

I think it would be mutually beneficial to both of us. As I see my darkness the Devil will see his light. As I see my light he will see his darkness.

A word about Satan. He is a gentleman. He is the catalyst of change. He takes no offense to anyone or anything. He is deadly in the sense that he is secure in his knowledge that his sons are doing important work. The difficult hard work of educating the world in awakening. Awakening to know your deepest self. Satan knows Devils both male and female will come and go. He knows once touched by his presence his influence never leaves. Satan is proud of his work. He has an endless supply of those who are looking for a way out or into some knowledge that makes them feel free and real. He adjusts to everyone’s free will choices. He knows we are all responsible for our choices whether we are Devils or not.

We will always love our Devils because he was the one who took us to the deepest part of our reality. It is a badge of honor to survive this learning. It is a treasure to see that the longing for the Devil was the longing for the self and as the Devil longs for light he is longing for his self too.

I can’t say that a relationship with the Devil will be long term. I believe Devils can stick around for a long time if you are patient, respectful and kind. Even Devils need unconditional love. Being in love with a Devil is not a battle field. It is a place of mutual respect, growing and making choices or what is acceptable and what is not. It is examining those peaky gray areas too. He grows toward his light and you grow towards your darkness.

Is there hope? Of course there is hope for a relationship with the Devil. As long as we are alive anything can happen. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough.

In the end the Devil may not be your knight in shining armor but he will be your biggest advocate for change and adaptability and balance.

I love you my Devil and will never let you go.

Hail the Dark Side…………….

Thoughtful Thursdays #70 Projections

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Projections, not the kind that are astral. The kind that come from your mind.

The times when the thinking habits of the past
present themselves in the moment.

In other words, if you are wondering why your relationships are a battle ground, they are probably reminiscent of the past.

Good or bad.

Mark E. Smith, of Family Tree Counseling explains it well. I am paraphrasing here.

All relationships, especially the closest will reveal all of our dark side. The hatred, jealousy, pain, abaondonement and rage just to name a few. This happens because it is Mother Nature seeking balance.

This is true, think of a time when some serious thing went wrong. The wrong played itself out and balance was restored.

It is the same in nature. The destruction of hurricanes, fires and floods wreck havoc. But the chaos is short lived. Balance is restored, flowers grow, animals return , people come back to rebuild. It is the same thing with our emotional life.

It is the same in every encounter, there is a need for balance. Feel what works, what doesn’t work. What is smooth, what is jagged. The smooth takes care of itself. Hence the reason for staying calm and seeking detachment.

Don’t react to what is jagged, you will get cut. Detach be objective, this is what wins over chaos. Chaos is temporary it will fizzle out.

Out of every tragedy comes strength and understanding. That is the point. It is to make you aware, awake and whole again, and knowledgeable to become a guide to others.

These things don’t happen unless you are strong and able to look at what is going on. Accept what happens, seek change, don’t run away from it. It is your trademark of adaptation.

Those who adapt survive and prosper.

Moira Allen – Editor – Writing-World.com

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moira allen

Moira Allen is the Editor and creator of Writing-World.com for close to 15 years. She is an expert in teaching about the business of writing and honing the craft of writing.

I have followed her website for a few years now and she has graciously let me pick her brain with my own questions and her website is an education in itself. She has now generously granted me this wonderful interview.

Moira is honest, pragmatic and grounded in her approach to writing and the business of writing. She has much to teach us.  Let’s welcome Moira Allen.

PSW: Your love of words show in your newsletter. How did you decide to be a writer?

MA: I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t making up stories in my head. But even that, is think, stems from the fact that I came from a family of readers. So “stories” were something that were just a natural part of my life. They were all around me: my mother read to me from as early as I can remember, so I can’t remember a time in my life where I wasn’t being exposed to “storytelling”.

I grew up surrounded by books, and by the notion that books and reading were important. I could nearly always manage to be left alone to “do my own thing” if I were reading – or at least pretending to read – because the family considered reading to be one of the most worthwhile things that one could do. Often, however, I’d be hiding behind a book and actually making up my own stories and acting them out in my head

It simply seemed natural, then, to want to start writing those stories down when I became more able to do so. And that’s when I ran into the magic of non-completion – I worked on the same “novel” for years! When you’re young and constantly growing and changing, your ideas of “the perfect story” keep changing too, and I’d get to about chapter 4 or 5 and decide to start over at the beginning. (Unfortunately that tendency hasn’t really gone away…)

I’m sure I flirted briefly with other ideas about “what I would be” when I grew up – I recall discarding “ballerina” fairly early. I know for quite awhile I was sure I wanted to be a naturalist, but mainly because I enjoyed reading what naturalists wrote about nature and animals, and I wanted to write the same types of things. I got cured of that when, in college, I worked at a zoology museum and found out that today’s naturalist did quite a lot of cutting things up.

But I think all along, I was pretty convinced that “when I grew up” I wanted to be a writer. I still do. But then, I’m still waiting to grow up.

PSW: How has your writing talent help you grow creatively?

MA: I think writing changes how one sees the world. I know that many people don’t imagine writing as being an “active” type of career. But it’s certainly a mentally active one! It changes one’s approach to looking at just about anything, because it becomes difficult to look at something without automatically starting to think about how one would describe it or explain it to another person.

From there, that means that one is on longer simply a passive observer of life. One is always looking deeper, looking around corners, looking for meanings, looking for patterns. Sherlock Holmes accused Watson of seeing but not “observing”. I think that as one becomes a writer, one moves from simply seeing (“oh, look, pretty lake”) to observing – and interpreting. (“How would you describe the color of the water? How does the sun strike it? What is the impression or feeling that it gives you – warm sparkles or a sense of cold dread at the bottomless depths? Who’s in that boat out there? Is that an innocent family outing or a murder about to happen?”)

One of the things one seeks to do as a writer is to take what one sees (or imagines) and enable another person to see it. That extends to seeking to enable another person to see things that no longer exist – e.g., the world of the past – or things that have not existed yet – the future, another planet, etc. Writing enables us to see “creatively” because we want to be able to express, creatively, what we see.

PSW: What is the best way to practice the writing craft?

The one that works for you. Seriously. I am SO not a fan of articles that say to be a good writer, or a successful writer, you “must” do this, that or the other. You’ll have one person saying that it’s best to get up at 5 a.m. And write while you are “fresh.” Another advocates writing in the afternoon. One person is convinced that you must writer detailed outlines; another believes in flash cards; another in “clustering,” another in flying by the seat of the pants.

There have been many mantras about writing that be passed around the community. Basically, the writing community tends to latch on to a piece of advice and , because it was uttered by an “expert,” it’s taken as gospel and passed on as such, over and over and over again. For awhile, for instance, it was considered absolutely vital that a writer maintain a journal. You just HAD to have someplace to jot down your thoughts, ideas, inspirations, etc., every day. I can remember reading article after article extolling the importance of journaling. I don’t see that advice very often anymore – it seems to have become less “in fashion” – but for a time everyone just simply “agree” that this MUST be THE thing to do.

Similarly, the piece of advice that gets passed around constantly is that you MUST write EVERY day. Then there are lots of pieces of tangential advice that try to handle the fact that, let’s face it, most of us CAN”T manage to write every day. So we’re told that we should, but… as long as we just write 100 words or 500 words or a journal entry, we have “fulfilled” the requirement. No one tends to question who came up with the “requirement” in the first place.

The problem with these “best way” recommendations is that when you aren’t doing it or cannot do it or think it’s a total waste of time to do it (can you tell I never got “into” journaling?), it’s easy to feel that you’re not doing “everything in your power” to be a writer. And if you’re not doing “everything” that you should be doing, you must not want it enough, and if you don’t want it enough, maybe you’re not REALLY cut out to be a writer in the first place!

So… the best way is YOUR way. If you find that your way isn’t actually working for you, then it’s up to you to examine what you’re doing and develop a system that works better. One of the first steps in that exam is to make sure that you’re not trying to follow someone else’s way, and failing to understand why THEIR way isn’t working for YOU.

PSW: What is your typical writing day like?

It usually involves quite a lot of NOT writing. I do not write every day. When I do, and I’m really settling into it, there ‘s a lot of “to-ing and fro-ing.” I sit down. I try to concentrate. I get up. I walk around. I get coffee. I put on the laundry. I sit down. I drink the coffee. I write a couple of paragraphs. I get up. The coffee is gone; need more. I pace the kitchen, waiting for the kettle to boil. I make more coffee. (Oops, laundry needs changing now!) I sit down. This all takes usually an hour or two, and then finally like a switch gets flipped, and I hit the “zone” and just keep typing. THEN, I could probably type for hours. I will usually write 1/2 to 2/3 of my piece and then go back to the beginning and start rewriting it – perhaps because I can’t really write the end until I’ve made some necessary modifications that occurred to me as I moved forward. The end of whatever I’m writing needs to flow logically from the beginning – so if, halfway through, I’ve seen a somewhat different direction, or I didn’t like the way I was expressing something, then I need to go back and do my next pass from hat point and try to push the flow all the way through to the finish.

And then I need more coffee…

PSW: What is it like being in the writing business?

MA: It’s a bit of a combination of wonderful and terrible. It can be wonderful, because there is no good reason to be in this business if it isn’t something you love. And so, wonderfully, you’re doing something you love. But it can be terrible because you’re in an incredibly competitive business – there are more active writers out there today than ever before in history. So it can be extremely frustrating, and I think more writers are feeling the pinch of frustration today than ever before. Ironically, our worst competition isn’t “good” writers, it’s “bad” writers. If you pick up a poorly written book, and you’re new to reading, it’s going to turn you off to the process – so every writer is harmed by the plethora of truly bad, unskilled writing that is flooding the market place through “do it yourself” and free venues.

Another hazard in the “writing business” is that many people assume it’s about “writing” and forget that it is, also, a “business.” that means all the issues of “doing business” apply. If you want to get published, you have to learn how the publishing business works. You have to learn how to find markets, develop appropriate submissions, track income and expenses, track submissions and maintain your writing AS a business. Creativity is only one ingredient in a successful writing “business”.

PSW: Your newsletter is an education in itself. How many years have you been sharing this information?

MA: Writing-World.com was founded in 2000, so it is about to head into its 15th year. The website itself offers more than 600 articles on just about every aspect of writing of every level of expertise. The newsletter is just a small part of that. Writing-World.com is one of the largest, if not THE largest, sites for writers on the web today, with the largest archive of material and one of the largest visitor rates.

Before that, I worked with Inkspot, which was in every sense the “predecessor” of Writing-World.com. Inkspot was one of the first and foremost “communities” for writers on the web, with a host of resources for writers – it was one of the first out there when the Web was still shiny and new. Prior to that, I had set up my own little “advice” site called “Tips for Writers” – I eventually transferred all that material over to Inkspot, and then to Writing-World.com. Writing-World.com was born from the ashes of Inkspot, which was “killed” by a new owner, and we were able to inherit a lot of the material that had formerly been posted on Inkspot. We just went on from there!

PSW: Do you recommend a writer to specialize in one type of writing?

MA: No, not really. I think it’s too easy to assume that you do only one thing, or like only one thing. Getting out into the “writing business” often means getting out of your comfort zone, and writing for types of publication you might not have imagined working with. It means learning to write different lengths and even different styles. There are different requirements for magazines, newspapers, online publications, blogs, etc, – and one thing tends to lead to another.

By exploring and pushing your boundaries, you may discover that there is some other aspect of writing that you never imagined you’d be good at – and you find that you like it even more than what you THOUGHT you would be writing. In a world that tries to pigeon-hole people, it’s silly to pigeon-hole yourself! Don’t ever assume, “Oh, I’d never be any good at that,” or “I’ve never done that, so I couldn’t do it.”

You may also find that the type of writing you’re comfortable with, or assume you WANT to do, is not one that will lead to a “successful” writing career. This is a career where flexibility and versatility are real advantages.

PSW: What advice do you have for new writers?

MA: Let’s go back to the issue of being aware that “a writing business” is a BUSINESS. You wouldn’t imagine going into any other business without learning the ropes. So don’t imagine that you can be truly successful as a writer without leaning how the writing and publishing business works. A lot of writers feel that their job is just to be “creative” – and then they hope someone will tell them how to take the next step (e.g., find an agent, find a publisher). But the thing is, you’re competing with the ones who DO go out there and do the research, read the articles and the books and the blogs. If you aren’t one of them, you don’t have a chance. The person who is prepared and educated is ALWAYS going to come out ahead of the person who says, “I just wrote this great book, but I have no idea what to do next, can you help me?”

The wonder of today’s online world is that writers have access to unimaginable volumes of information for free that, in my early days, you had to pay for! If you wanted to be a successful writer 30 years ago, you had to subscribe to a writing magazine or two, you had to buy books (lots of books), and you might want to take classes at a real-world night school. Today, most of what is in those books and classes can be found online for free. And yet too many new writers aren’t taking advantage of that.

So educate yourself. Find out what the writing business is about, how it works, and how to make it work for you . Don’t be scared off by the horror stories that you hear about how “no new writer can ever get published.” EVERY writer who is published today was a new writer at some pint. Of COURSE new writers get published! They get published all the time! That’s how they stop being “new writers.”

When you DO hear horror stories, identify the source. Are you being told “you don”t have a chance with traditional publishing” by someone who has a vested interest in convincing you to buy THEIR product or service? Are you being told this by someone who wants validation of the path THEY have chosen?

Finally, I supposed perhaps that most important attribute a new writer can have is PATIENCE. We live in a world where instant gratification is considered not only the norm but some sort of divine right. I want to be published – next week! Why SHOULDN’T that happen? Traditional publishing – the kind that gets your book in front of hundred of thousand of readers rather than literally, a few dozen – DOES take time, patience, frustration (lots of frustration), research, and more patience. Too many writers today are settling for what they can get NOW, rather than hanging in there for the far greater reward that comes from enduring the frustration, the disappointment, and the passage of time. Great writers don’t settle – they endure. We aren’t taught “endurance” much anymore, so those who will are those who win.

Moira Allen, Editor
Writing-World.com

Author of “Starting Your Career as a Freelance Writer,” “The Writers Guide to Queries, Pitches and Proposals”

Moira teaches us that with a little courage and persistence you will win in the writing world. Her practical advice you too can live your dreams. Thank you so much Moira for sharing what you know so well and your words or encouragement.

For more information visit: Writing-World.com

Melissa Goscinski – Modern American Singer

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melisa goscinskiMelissa’s journey as a talented musician has not been easy nor linear. She is quite young to be in the music industry but her phenomenal voice is opening doors for her career. Melissa is committed to her path and it shows in her lifestyle. Her work has been influenced by Aretha Franklin, Miranda Lambert, Tina Turner, Amy Winehouse, Adele,
Jeff Buckley and so many more… She is an American Idol contestant for than once. Let’s find out about her unique life.

I have the great pleasure to introduce to my audience Melissa Goscinski who is the lead singer of Violet Skies. Her genre is Americana/Soul/Rock but just writing the words describing her work is not enough. At the end of the article I will put the links to some of her music. Melissa has also recorded her first EP.

PSW (Purely Simple Words): Welcome Melissa and thank you for taking the time to talk to me. How old were you when you started singing.

MG (Melissa Goscinski): I was singing since I was about two. But I was really discovered when I was 12 accidentally by my elementary music teacher Ms.Weltz.

PSW: When did you start studying music?

MG: I started studying professionally about 12 – 13 years old. I discovered I could really sing when I was about 11 early 12. I started with teachers when I was 13. I am trained in classical opera. I haven’t been in vocal lessons for a while but I am going to start up again because I was recently diagnosed with vocal nodules.

I am doing therapy with a vocal therapist and various doctors. I do vocal warm ups three times a day to get rid of them ad if that doesn’t work then surgery is the other option. But I haven’t been singing for a while and that is really sad.

PSW: How long have you been on break from singing?

MG: I have been on a bread since June 27. the day after the school term ended I went to the vocal doctor because I was experiencing vocal hoarseness and got tired very quickly, then I would get laryngitis were I couldn’t speak, I knew something was not right. So they they were. The nodules.

PSW: How long has it been since you sang classically?

MG: I haven’t been singing classically in 6 years but I am with a band and we started together since 2010. We do Covers. We do rock music like Aerosmith, Beatles, Aretha Franklin, Janis Joplin, Adele and some new stuff. When I am not preforming I work with kids. Between my day job and singing it was stressful and I guess it got to me.

PSW: Where is your day job?

MG: I am a para professional for the Board of Education in NYC.

PSW: Do you want to be a teacher?

MG: No, I need to find a job to help my mom out. My friend recommended me at her school and I got the job. That is how that happened.

PSW: How many days a week do you work as a para professional?

MG: I work 5 days per week, I am not permanently hired yet but there is an opportunity to work as a substitute in one school for a whole year. But you don’t bet paid vacations. I work in on High School and one Elementary. This year I worked with kids 4-11 and last year 15-16 year olds.

PSW: Did you finish college?

MG: No not yet. I was a music major and I took a year leave of absence but I want to go back for Media Studies for a back up plan because I want to stay in this business. I know goal of achieving stardom is extremely hard but I came to terms, and I know I love the business so much I would do anything whether to work on the front line or behind the scenes.

PSW: Tell me about your experience singing with Jennifer Hudson. I understand it was a contest.

MG: My mother had knee surgery and was in the hospital. She was watching TV and saw a contest on the Today Show in NYC. She called me and said I had to get on it right away because it was the last day to enter. I had to video record myself singing “And I am telling you” which is the Etta James song but Jennifer Hudson sang it in Dream Girl. I did record the song and it is on Youtube and sent it in and didn’t think anything of it. Two days later I got a phone call from a Manhattan number and it was the Today Show asking for me. They didn’t believe I was the same person because I sing like a black person but speak like a little girl. They asked if I could sing a little over the phone for the. So I did. They said they were really impressed with my singing and invited me to be one of the finalists in the competition. There was myself and three other contestants.. I remember being picked up in a private car really early in the morning and driven to the Today show. It was a wonderful experience. Jennifer Hudson picked the winner a surprisingly she chose me.

PSW: Did you sing with Sherri Shepard.

MG: Yes, one of the guys in the band knows her. He is a producer at the ABC show the View. She was having a house warming party and invited my band to preform. I was a wonderful experience plus I met a lot of nice people in the audience and met May Pang who is now my friend.

She invited me to her birthday party in October, and a Memorial Day BBQ. She is always inviting me to her awesome parties and recently I asked if I could ask her question about the musics industry. She is generous in helping me and is really a fantastic person.

PSW: I listened to your album online and it is beautiful.

MG: Thank you. Rich Guerzon produced the album. He wrote the lyrics and composed three of the songs. On the other two songs I wrote the lyrics that he wrote the music to. We haven’t seen each other lately because I am on break from the vocal nodes however I am still writing the songs that come into my head.

PSW: What Advice would you give to someone who wants to be a singer like you?

MG: That’s a good question. Vocal lessons once a week. A large repertoire so that at any given moment you can sing and audition for someone on the spot. Something that can really show off your talent. This is something I still work on. I have been to American Idol audition a couple of times and got to go a couple of rounds but didn’t make it.

PSW: Do you recommend being persistent?

MG: Once you give up that is the biggest failure. No matter how many times you get a “no” you have to keep trying because eventually someone out there will believe in you. If you have a really big talent they can’t deny that.; even with this nodule thing I am still learning and speaking to people about the music business. I am told my voice is outstanding by some and others will not acknowledge it. You don’t need them they need you . That’s my new motto that I keep repeating to myself. Be positive and it is hard in the field. I am humble and I am willing to learn.

PSW: How did you meet the band you are in?

MG: It is strange the way things happen sometimes. My mom works at the post Office and one of her friends delivers mail. He heard that one of his mail recipients wrote jingles. He spoke to the guy and said he knew of me and suggested he listen to my amazing voice. My mom’s friend gave him all my contact information. The guy did listen to my youtube recording and emailed me immediately. The man’s name is Glenn Sherman and he asked if I could write with him on a few things.

I was busy at the time but he called me and told me of a band who was doing a wedding and said I could benefit if I sang with them to make some money. So I agree. These guys are older than me and have been around for years. I had no idea what I was walking into and thought it was going to a karaoke CD instead it was serous band stuff. After a while it became a regular gig. We played in lots of different place in New York. Band member Rich Guerzon started wiring and I have been singing it. I have been with them four years. It’s an interesting story. I kind of just walked it on it.

I am lucky I walk in to opportunities like this all the time. Like meeting Sherri Shepard and other who know other contacts. And it is becoming a whole circle. Luck so far is on my side in some ways and not on my side in some ways.

PSW: Is there anything else you would like to add?

MG: I am working on getting better, and writing new tunes so stay tuned. And lastly I want to mention my Mon has been completely supportive of me throughout all of this. I can’t go without saying that. Thanks Mom.

Melissa is the essence of persistence. Her message is to keep learning, keep going and thank and acknowledge those who have helped you along the way.

Her band Voilet Skies consists of Melissa and John Ferry on percussion, Rob Cafaro on Keys and Vocals, Mark Magliaro on Guitar and Vocals and Rich Guerzon on Bass and Vocals.

Her future is bright and she is an inspiration to anyone who wants to be persistent.

For more information about Melissa go to:Violet Skies on Facebook.
For Youtube videos type in Violet Skies..
And here is her email: Violetskymusic@hotmail.com

Happiness – Abraham Hicks

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The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy! And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy. If it is your dominant intent to hold yourself in vibrational harmony with who you really are, you could never offer any action that would cause anybody else to be unhappy.

—Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop: Chicago, IL on April 25, 1999

Thoughtful Thursdays #69- Change

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Oh there is that cursed word again. CHANGE. We know we must do it. We know the excuses for not doing it. We conveniently forget what we must do only to remember at 2 am.

We can see very plainly how hard it is to change ourselves.

Which makes is pretty obvious that it is next to impossible to change someone else.

So what is the answer.

Learn how you function.

How you think.

What are your fears.

What lies are you believing.

There is no right way or wrong way.

You can CHANGE in your own way.

Whenever you are ready.