Monthly Archives: January 2020

Jan30

Thoughtful Thursday #289 – Resistance and How to Overcome It

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Resistance comes in many forms, such as avoidance, addiction, distraction, forgetting, repression, transference, compulsion etc.

We use these forms of resistance because of anxiety.

Behind the anxiety is a fear.

It’s a simple formula to remember, find the fear and the anxiety and resistance goes away, but so very hard to apply.

The answer to uncovering what you are resisting is in finding a safe way of expressing what you are thinking, For example, writing, a therapy that resonates with you, a support group are all safe to start with.

The idea is to find those small moments of clarity, moments of joy will return, and you will be ever so closer to the grounded adult self you need to be.

Jan23

Thoughtful Thursday #288 – Others Stories

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I was listening to the former Miss America of 1958 Marilyn Van Derbur story who is a survivor of incest. This is not the first time I have listened to her story and I read her book.

I listen to a lot of other people’s personal survivor stories, these stories remind me that I am not the only one in the world who is a survivor of mentally ill caregivers. I am not the only one in the world who has to recover from horrific childhood conditions.

Listening to many courageous folks talk about their trauma experiences and their personal journey to recovery validates my trauma experience and personal recovery journey. And I am sure when I share my story of trauma I am an inspiration also.

I have given speeches and written about my life’s experiences for a long time now and I know I am taking the chance of stigmatizing myself as a victim but that is OK because as long as I can help someone on their own journey of trauma recovery I have done the right thing.

Here’s the takeaway: Share your story, listen to other folds stories that resonate with you. Your life’s story will be an inspiration and upliftment to someone, whether you know the person or not. Sharing your story is one small act of kindness and compassion for yourself and for someone else.

Thanks for reading and thanks for your courage.

 

 

Jan9

Thoughtful Thursday #287 – How To Be A Rebel In 4 Easy Steps

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Let me preface this saying that I have been a proud Rebel for most of my life. I am not kidding. My caregivers were so mentally ill that I had to fend for myself for a long time.  I learned not to get swept up in their insanity by keeping true to what I knew was reality. Was living that like easy. Nope, it was very hard until I eventually moved away from that insanity.

Here’s what I learned about being a rebel and how you can become one too.

  1. Stay in your truth no matter how hard it is.

2. Live your unique life on your terms not matter how it looks to others.

3. Put a boundary up against those who will try to drag you down.

4. When you hear feedback that you always do things your way and don’t care                 about anything else, you know you are on the right track.

Bonus: It’s your life, make it resoundingly pleasant for you and then everything else will fall into place.

You are worth the time and effort in living fully.

Carry on you adorable REBEL.

 

Jan2

Thoughtful Thursday #286 – Violence

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Violence is the last act of hopelessness.

One believes there is no other response available.

One believes they cannot change their circumstances.

Violence does not solve problems rather it temporarily pushes it away.

There are many factors why one would resort to violence, however, we are thinking beings and we have an enormous capacity to figure things out. Before we lose it and use violence take a moment to walk away, cool down, get help, talk it out, google alternatives to acting out, do something, anything that will keep you safe.

There is no point in dishing out violence if it will put you in jail, or the hospital or have some other negative long term consequences.

Think before you act, whatever you are facing there are always alternatives to violence.