Category Archives: Life

Thoughtful Thursdays – #125 – Ten Things You May Not Know About Meditation.

Standard

I have benefited from meditation since 2005. The benefits have been profound and permanent. Here I’ll share some of the benefits I have experienced.

  1. It takes just a few meditation sessions to reach a deep peacefulness.
  2. From the peacefulness comes the ability to be detached.
  3. Being detached gives the ability to non reaction.
  4. Meditation does not require any religious belief.
  5. A few minutes a day is all you need to be quiet.
  6. Being in nature has the same effect as a meditation session.
  7. You won’t be hit over the head with enlightenment but you will understand yourself and others better.
  8. You know you are doing it right when you feel relaxed and alert. Not sleepy. If you are sleepy you need sleep.
  9. You get to separate your wandering mind from your institution.
  10. You can stay in the present moment for longer and longer periods.

Here’s another observation. You can’t stop you mind from thinking. So as you meditate you learn to observe the thoughts and not be dragged down by them. Meditation will boost your creativity and lower stress. Increase focus and better your health.

Meditation is my medicine, I keep it in my life. If you can’t make it to a group that does meditation, there’s plenty of meditation videos on youtube.

Give it a try for three months and you will see the benefits. You will feel better and even better the more you do it.

OM

 

 

Pain

Standard

The point of pain is

to show you where

you undervalued,

overlooked, ignored,

abandoned, ignored,

postponed, neglected,

deferred, forgotten,

cast aside, shunned,

disregarded, uncared for,

despised, unwanted,

dismissed and unloved

yourself.

Stop doing that. Please.

It’s All In Your Mind

Standard

This is an old adage. For millenia philosophers, sages and ordinary folk understand on a fundamental level that everything begins and ends in the mind.

We are talking about thinking. Not magical thinking or wishes. This is thinking with action.

It’s making up our minds and acting on it.

Of course this is simpler said than done. If you are fed up with the same negative results over and over again then it’s time to change some small action. One small change will kick in the domino effect. One thing affects another and so on.

Keep in mind it takes about six weeks for any change to become effective. So have patience.

Change demands boundaries and commitment and movement in a gentle way. In a non-judgemental way.

It’s OK if you fall short of your objective. It’s OK if you start again from square one. It’s OK if you re-adjust again and again to get to your objective.

Just start and try. You can always change your mind.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #106 – Habits

Standard

How much of your behavior is a habit? Do you  eat because the clock says it’s mealtime but you aren’t really hungry? Do you buy stuff- just because? Did some behavior become common because everyone else is doing it?

Do you have routines that you do by rote without thinking? Did you learn somewhere in your life that certain things are only done a certain way?

Did you forget to stop and observe what you are doing? What habit is not working for you anymore? What habit does not resonate with your life at this time? What is the habit that is holding you back and you know in your gut it has to go?

What’s the best way to kill a habit? Maybe cold turkey. Maybe negotiating with our minds to slowly back off of the habit. Maybe getting angry at yourself for continuing the habit even though you know it’s bad for you. Maybe stopping but still doing the habit once in a while risking full-blown relapse. Maybe finding a support group.

Definitely some courage is necessary, some realistic self talk and some determination even when you don’t feel like it.

There is no right or wrong way to kill a habit. Just as long as you kill it. Killing a habit is acceptable, necessary and holistic. Killing a bad habit with a new good habit is the easiest way to permanently kill a bad habit.

You’ll gain confidence and the new habit of persistence and personal strength. Which helps in all areas of your like.

It won’t be easy in the beginning. Habits are evil and don’t play nice. There is no reasoning with habits. Especially bad ones.

But you are the boss not them. So go for it. You will win in the end because a bad habit is a fear and a fear is a lie. The bad habit will eventually go away and you will be the victor.

Congratulations you win.

You knew that anyway.

Didn’t you?

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #105 Relationships

Standard

What a loaded subject. If you want peace in all your relationships remember:

The other person’s behavior towards you tells you how they feel about themselves.

Their behavior has nothing to do with your value.

If you remember this, as time goes on you’ll stop reacting in your realtionships and start enjoying your relationships.

Procrastination

Standard

I am an expert in procrastination. It is something I manage to do every day. I find myself doing what needs to be done after I have spent too much time Facebook, socializing and anything else that wastes time. But at the end of the day I have done very little for my hearts desire.

Then there are some days ( not enough of them ) where I am in the zone. Creating, painting, writing, expanding, whirling, expressing and all is well.

Occasionally I do fifty percent of what has to be done and fifty percent of creating. These are ideal days. Also not enough of them.

I find myself trying to figure out how to balance my art with my responsibilities and I have come to the conclusion: Make plans to do the art but know that life happens and I must be flexible. I can always restart where I left off.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #102 Trauma

Standard

“Trauma survivors have symptoms instead of memories.” (Harvey, 1990) Adapted from Bremner & Marmer, 1998, Copyright 2007 Dr. Fisher

Trauma comes in many forms. Violence of any kind, addictions in both the user and observer, unavailable caregivers, isolation, and poverty are just a few ways of experiencing trauma.

Trauma is toxic mentally and physically because it stops you from maturing and living a full life.  The symptoms of trauma are depression, irritability, loss of interest, numbing, decreased concentration, insomnia, emotional overwhelm, hopelessness, shame and worthlessness, little or no memories, nightmares, flashbacks, hyper-vigilance, mistrust, anxiety, panic attacks, chronic pain, headaches, substance abuse, eating disorders, feeling unreal and out-of-body, self-destructive, loss of a sense of “Who I am”.

That’s a lot of information and possible triggers but they are symptoms of something that holds you back. Trauma effects everything you do with and without your awareness.

To heal from trauma is obvious. Find a trauma therapist. There are tons of information available to read and passionate therapists who want to help you heal.

If you realize you have been a victim that’s good. You will move from victim to survivor to one who thrives to a warrior.

You are strong, reach out and heal.

The Benefit of Feeling Safe

Standard

If you don’t feel safe in your own skin, in your environment, in your mind, in any situation (other than life threatening) then you will not see opportunities to grow.

If you feel safe there is a sense of freedom. There is the belief that there are many possibilities. There is courage to try new things. There is hope. There is generosity.

Safety has a lot to do with what you believe. If your beliefs have made it difficult to feel safe, it’s time to examine these beliefs. Challange them, look them square in the eye and tell them to move over it’s time for a change. A change for the better.

Your freedom is precious, protect it, honor it, it belongs to you. You are free to choose anything. Start small and in a short time your courage will make you feel safe.

Safe enough it change your world. Wow.

You Rock!!!!!!

The Sins of the Father Explained

Standard

The Sins of the Father are not an ancient curse. It is the human condition of repeating the same old negative patterns over and over for generation after generation.

For example, pervasive abuse on any level will stay intact as long as the abuse is seen as normal. Many times abuse is accepted as a way of life. As if there is no other way of living. Therefore, the cycles of abuse remain for a long time, until someone finally realizes this is enough.

Family systems are complicated. People are complicated. Humans are a product of habit and fear.

Except when whether in secret or out in the open someone reaches out for a better way of living. Eventually the cycle is broken.

All it takes is some courage, please try. You know in your gut what you need to move forward. Please try to have the courage to break the cycle of abuse.

Freedom

Standard

So many times we feel stuck. Nothing is working out. We are confused about which way to go. Bored and restless.

Reminder: your options are not limited. Ignore naysayers and your own resistance. Think out side of the norm.

To free yourself from your actual or perceived restrictions: Choose.

Choose any direction. Any direction will lead you to freedom. Even if it is as simple a decision as what to eat for breakfast.

Feeling you have no control in your life could be based on your own actions. But more likly because of your inaction.