Sometimes I am at a loss for words. But thank goodness that doesn’t happen often. I have lots to say and so many need to hear what I have said. This reminds me of a song:
I love Me.
I think I’m grand.
I go to the Movies just to hold my hand.
Me Me Me
I I I
Me Me Me
I I I
What am I getting at? It’s fun to use words in a playful way.Ever since I can remember I have tried to say one thing many ways. For example: I noticed the yellow floor. Or – the floor looks yellow. Or – Wow that’s a nice/ugly yellow floor.
So have fun saying stuff in many different ways. And don’t say anything insulting about yellow floors. At least not to their face.
It takes an enormous amount of effort to get out of the denial of how we sabotage ourselves. Some sabotage is visible but most is invisible. In psychology it is understood that there is a need to stay unaware of uncomfortable situations. The need to stay unaware has many reasons. I think it’s the lizard mind protecting us. But when denial becomes a pathological blinding force that interferes with progressing in your life it’s time to step back and examine what is going on. Do you feel chronic sadness or feeling you are trying to punch your way out of a paper bag and nothing ever changes?
That is all fear. Fear of anything you can name that frightens you. It’s too hard and scary to see past fear.
Actually if you are not being physically threatened then fear is a paper tiger. It’s only the thought that you experience not an actual event. The mind does not know the difference of a thought or actual event. However the better part of you does know.
Speak up to fear and challenge it. You will see it has no power. How about practicing a little courage. Just a little. Think about what it would be like to have any life you choose. Even that’s scary. So what is one to do.
Pick yourself up, detach from fear and keep going even if you aren’t sure where that is. You will find your way and be happy in the process.
My primary characteristic is courage. I am not afraid to find answers and give others answers. I learned that if I don’t reach out for myself no one would reach out for me. Hopefully others see that and emulate it. Courage also comes with growing older. Reflecting back on my youth I was a real doormat. I allowed many frightful events happen simply because I didn’t know any better and that I could stand up for myself. But once I realized I had a choice in certain events there was no turning back and courage came to the forefront. Life happens and unfolds the way its supposed to even when society states otherwise. Society puts no value on age and expects the elderly to be hosted by nursing homes and relatives. What a waste of human talent. As long as a person is capable why not tap in on the immense talent that older adults have. After all none of us escapes aging.
I saw a lightening bug as I was walking to my class this morning at about 8:30 am. That’s unusual because lightening bugs usually come out in the evening on hot August nights, not in June. The reason why I am mentioning this is it reminded me of the cemetery. Not because I am into ghosts, the dead, vampires or Dracula but because the cemetery is a sanctuary for wild life. I live across the street from an old 1700’s cemetery with a lot of history and wild life. The wild life has rabbits, cats, countless birds and raccoons,opossums all kinds of bugs,birds, butterflies, worms and beetles. I haven’t seen them but I have heard there are even lizards. Well, maybe that’s not true because here in NYC they wouldn’t survive the weather.
Nature has a way of always righting itself. In the past city officials decided to spray for West Nile bugs. When that happens all the butterflies and lightening bugs disappear for the season. Since the area was not sprayed again the next season the butterflies and lightening bugs returned with a vengeance. One night last August the cemetery was lit up like a bright summer morning by the fireflies. The entire neighborhood came out and people stopped in their cars to watch.
There were hundreds and hundreds of them happy to have returned to live in a popular spot. Blinking and swimming in the air, floating their fat bodies in the humidity and clinging to anyone or anything that got in their flight path. My dog snapped to catch one and I stood there in awe and amazement. I had six in my hair and my dog had four on his fur. It made me so happy to see them alive again in my neighborhood. Watching the lightening bugs ebb and flow from season to season was inspiring. Even though the area was infected with poison for bug control nature re-calibrated itself to wholeness again. Like magic the ground was made meticulous for the new crop of lightening bugs. Nature was back to normal to keep the fireflies alive and the other creatures too.
This brings me to the following conclusion: Nature always rights itself with us too. If a catastrophe happens, the upheaval leaves us rearranged for a while. What happens next is the same as the lightening bugs. We pick up where we left off stronger that before.
Happy lightening bug hunting.
You caught me on an interesting day. My middle daughter just graduated college and I am very proud of her. Kudos to my daughter, she worked very hard to get her biology degree. I don’t want to take anything away from her, we had a great day at the graduation ceremony. BUT …
I also go to college to finish my fine art degree. I just got my grades for four classes. I got three A’s and one C. The C was in printing class. I went to every class. I made 15 plates and printed many of those plates. I missed 2 classes and there were no other grades during the semester. I am challenging the grade and we will see what happens. I have never had to challenge a grade. I think that if the teacher had a problem with my work he should have said something during the semester. But we got along really well, I learned a lot and had fun. So where was the problem? I don’t feel I should turn the other cheek or let it go because I am perplexed why he gave me this grade.
Here’s my point: I think it’s BS to forgive those who woefully hurt you because of their own invisible agenda. People express their own crazy subconscious on those who are innocent or remind them of their own problems or perhaps they just like to hurt and misuse their power especially in a school setting. In college, professors are hired for their knowledge not for their ability to teach. That’s too bad because even professors need people skills.
I am challenging the grade and I will state my case honestly in spite of a dishonest grade. Until next time.
Update: I got an “A”