Tag Archives: happy

Thoughtful Thursday #306 – Healing The World

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Healing the world is a wonderful altruistic goal, unfortunately no one can. There will always be people who are not willing to help the world.

Why, because they are stuck in their own trauma, everyone has trauma in one form or another, you can see it in your everyday interactions. Someone is angry, untouchable, has heavy emotional baggage, bitter, unhappy, sabotaging, etc.

However to heal the world you much do the very hard and important inner work of examining your own life, it will take great effort but the positive results will be permanent, you will be happier, calmer, brilliantly confident and unafraid of  living your best life.

Do the work, you are worth the effort and the world needs more healed people to help heal the world.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #304 – Dissociative Amnesia

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I have dissociative amnesia, remember very little before the age of 18, with a mother who was schizophrenic and a father who was an addict my life was chaos. So dissociation was my friend and helped me survive.

Here’s a really good explanation of the condition.

From the book: Human Development and Trauma by Darius Cikanavicius

Page 145 and 145.

Dissociative Amnesia

Do you know people who can’t remember their childhood or only vaguely remember it? How about people who can’t remember years, even decades, of their lives? They may have dissociative amnesia, and their reason for it , as troubling as might see, make sense.

To begin, when children experience severe or prolonged traumas, they often forget about it. The memories are simply too painful and even dangerous for them to recall. Remembering only makes their lives worse, especially when they have no choice but to continue living with their abusers. Children are vulnerable and when they have no allies they are particularly ill equipped to process their traumas correctly, As a coping mechanism they dissociate, that is, split off from their memories and feelings and despite the consequences of this, it does allow for them to survive.

Many times these memories, and the intellectual, psychological, emotional and physical realizations that go along with them, never do resurface to consciousness, it the individual remains emotionally unprepared for them, for many, this never happens. But if a person begins to heal and grow, they will slowly begin to remember and process their past, at which point their painful memories and all that go along with them will begin to return. That is, the amnesia will begin to dissipate.

Hope that helps.

Thoughtful Thursday #297 – Attachment Trauma and Injuries

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There are a number of attachment styles that people adopt. Anxious, Avoidant, Secure, Dismissive. These are the four major styles, You can look up the details on Google.

Attachment injuries come from mostly from family of origin issues.

How do you know you have an attachment issue, your relationships are not working, you feel invisible, you are not getting your needs met, you are allowing others to sabotage and abuse you somehow.

This is heavy stuff so I want to share an expert Attachment Trauma, relationship coach and Psychotherapist Alan Robarge, Here’s a video explaining this issue.

Hope you find it healing.

Thoughtful Thursday #279 – Reinvention

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It’s normal and necessary to reinvent ourselves over and over during our entire lifetime.

How do we reinvent ourselves, by changing the way we behave just like a singer who reinvents their career over and over. You are no different from a celebrity. You are the star of your own life and can grow and adapt as you go on in your precious life.

Don’t be afraid to experiment, you don’t have to explain or justify the new you, get out of your comfort zone, be honest with yourself and others.

Make your one and only life happy for you over and over. Find your courage, set some goals, create a plan, write it all down on paper, you can always change it as you go along, you may even have to relentlessly reassess. And take your time there is no finish line.

Have fun while you are at it and remind yourself every day that you are worth the effort.

Thoughtful Thursday #274 – Mass Murder and Mental Health

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There are many Mass Murderers in recent history who murder lots of innocent people. Their methods of murder vary.

These actions are typical of a walking wounded adult child. This behavior may have be a last ditch effort to ease the psychological pain the person endured their entire life. Or perhaps their mind is so twisted from the ongoing dysfunction of a pathological household they actually enjoy hurting as many people as possible, or maybe they are not in touch with their own humanity and feel justified in this heinous actions.These actions are caused from poor mental health.

I am sure there are red flags in this type of self absorbed behavior for a very long time. However no one came forward to report concerns to the authorities.

Normal people don’t go around destroying others, it’s a simple fact.

Mental health is the number one concern next to physical health to live in this fast moving world.  the The need for mental health information and practical resources must come into the public view more readily to end these useless acts of violence.

I will certainly keep writing about ending senseless violence on all levels by reminding everyone to take their mental health seriously.

Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about mental health, we will all be so much happier.

Thoughtful Thursday #271 – José Micard Teixeira Author & Coach

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Here’s a post from one of my favorite writers, in this short article he says what most of us want to express.

His writing is a reminder that we must choose to be ourselves always even if you are unsure, scared or insecure. Live like  “a rebel with no shame” as Mr. Teixeira says.

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I repel everything that’s supposed to be. I reject everything that it’s imposed on me. I can’t stand conditions or hierarchies. All this immodesty and false humility angers me. I have a hard time accepting injustice and prejudice. I hardly can make friendships and partnerships because it demands from me what I don’t want or know how to give. I’m a loner with an optimistic attitude who seeks to postpone everyday his mental illness. I’m not mad, but I love the madness in finding me mad. I’m proud of who I am. I’m not going to change for anyone. I don’t care about what others think of me. I do what I want and I say whatever I feel like. I’m a rebel with no shame. There’s nothing else to do. I’ll die smiling.

José Micard Teixeira
Author & Coach

Thoughtful Thursday #270 – Judgment and Hate

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When we hate, criticize and judge other people it is a reflection of how unhappy and insecure we feel about ourselves.

When we criticize, hate or judge others it means we hate, criticize, judge ourselves.

Why? Because we believe we are not model size, rich, successful, pretty, overweight, underweight, cool, fill in the blank of where we believe we are lacking.

When we criticize, hate, judge others it gives a sense of assurance and validation that we are OK.

Why do we do that? We must get to the root of these beliefs and actions – to uncover and process our own self hatred and judgement.

We must get to feeling “good enough” about ourselves.

Feeling “good enough” about ourselves brings happiness and contentment and there is no room or desire to hate and judge others.

Get back to yourself.

Do the internal work necessary to be happy and content – you are worth it.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #266 – Is This A Hopeless Situation

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There is no such thing as a hopeless situation, all circumstances can change.

Use your noodle (thinking), take a long look at yourself and your beliefs. Make your choices real by writing down all possibilities,

Is there an internal belief that needs to be ripped out by the roots? Are you open to thinking outside of the the preverbal box?

It won’t be easy to do this, but you must because you need to know your situation is not hopeless.

Happy thinking.

Thoughtful Thursday #262 – Independence

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Today is Independence day here in the USA, based on when the Declaration of Independence was signed we are now 242 years old. That is really young for an enormous country.

I am proud of my country, we have the best human and civil rights in the world. No where else can you pursue your own interests with so much freedom.

We have freedom of expression, we are free to examine and choose what to believe and choose our own lifestyles.

Congratulations to our wonderful United States of America.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #241 – Am I Unloveable

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Sometimes our behavior makes us seem unloveable. We get unflattering feedback of our strange behavior and cringe with embarrassment. We get rejected because we seem aloof and unapproachable. Maybe we are single and think we just have not found the right person. Or perhaps we think we need a trip to Tibet to find ourselves. Are we that strange?

A Full Stop is Necessary.

Part of maturity and growing as a person is asking questions.

How am I making my life difficult. We may draw a blank here but keep asking.

How do I react when I am  annoyed, angry, happy.

How do I react when I am tired. Am I difficult around money, what do I worry about. What are my beliefs around sex.

There are tons of questions to ask and none of them are meant to make you feel guilty. The answers to these questions are to make you aware of your own patterns and how others in your life may perceive them, be it annoying or not.

Growing up to be a whole human is not easy but step by step you will become how you are meant to be.