Category Archives: Change

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 129 Trying To Live In Peace

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I like to mind my own business mostly unless I am dragged into situations where I have to defend myself. I like being friendly and accommodating except where I am being taken advantage of. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my life to have good times except when it doesn’t .

Most of us want to get along and live in reasonable peace. However, we don’t all have the same awareness. Which shows up when we are interacting with others.

We meet each other at these different levels and that’s where the problems begin.  We can’t understand someones indifference or cruelty or insincere remark. Why did they gossip or take belongings or leave with no warning?

How is it that some things are so obvious to us but not to them?

Simple yet not so simple. Awareness. Some of us are simply more aware than others. It’s impossible to know where the other is coming from completely. But it is possible to know about yourself. And that is all that matters because you end up being open to those who resonate with you. You become a light of awareness for others. You have a better set of boundaries. You gain unshakable confidence to live the life you want.

You can’t stop others from being who they are.

Others can’t stop you from being who you are.

So carry on with your bad self.

Peace.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays – #127

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The path to self discovery cannot be found in a crowd. A crowd is the opposite of self. Self if just me and a crowd is a group.

If  I am to find my own path I must stand alone, which is uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because there is no crowd to hide in. I will feel groundless because are no guideposts, I will feel unsure because I must make my own decisions. I will feel insecure because I have to inspire myself.

And that is OK. It means you will grow to a well-rounded individual. You will become an inspiration to others. You will be strong enough to stick to your decisions.

Your path is to know who you are in all aspects, your thoughts, words, actions. Your path is in the things you love and the things you hate. Your path is to stand alone and not follow the crowd because the crowd has its own journey. Following the crowd is the easy way out of the uncomfortable work of finding your own path.

It’s OK to bounce from here to there and not really knowing which way is your way.

It’s supposed to be that way. Your job is to look for the signs. If it doesn’t work move away from it. Start of the beginning again. It’s OK. It’s supposed to be that way. Look for your own answers. If something doesn’t fit with you get rid of it.

Once I heard a story about a woman who cut off the end of her ham before she cooked it. Her husband asked why she did that. Her reply was because that was the way her mother always cooked ham. The husband suggested they ask why the mother did this. The mother replied because the ham didn’t fit her roasting pan.

Have you unconsciously absorbed someone elses way of doing things.

What do you want, what do you need to make your life interesting? Whatever it is take the steps to change. It’s well worth it and you don’t need to explain your actions to anyone.

It’s your life. Make the best of it.

Thoughtful Thursdays #118-Income Tax

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I have just spent the whole day gathering the majority of my information to file income tax. It was grueling and I am still not done.

I procrastinated for one year and I am feeling the pain now. Why did I procrastinate for a year knowing full well that it would be torture to get this work done.

I am sure I am not alone in this. We all procrastinate because of going out of our comfort zone, basic laziness and fear.

I’ve learned my lesson. I’m done procrastinating.

Back to work.

Thoughtful Thursdays #116 Now Is The Time

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Now is the time to stop scaring yourself.

Now is the time to put an end to any kind of abuse.

Now is the time to finish old things that are not working.

Now is the time to celebrate who you are.

Now is the time to choose your own happiness.

Now is the time to change your life to the way you want it.

You got this.

Thoughtful Thursdays #110 Spiritual Inventory

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There are people in this world who are genuine enough to pay attention to their own behavior. Those who are aware that how their words, actions and thoughts have an impact on those they interact with.

Here is a small list to read at the end of the day to see if you want to change or develop some of your behavior. Pick no more than two or three at a time.

Was I free from anger and judgement?

Did I give anyone sorrow or take any sorrow?

How much negative thinking was I wrapped up in?

Was I stable or unstable.

What did I bring into my interactions today? Was I positive?

Did I respect everyone regardless of name and fame?

Did I take a moment here and there to reflect on what I was thinking.

You can add more suggestions to the list. You can make a chart to fill out at the end of the day. Either way your behavior is so much more dynamic than you realize.

So be positive and joyful.

 

Procrastination

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I am an expert in procrastination. It is something I manage to do every day. I find myself doing what needs to be done after I have spent too much time Facebook, socializing and anything else that wastes time. But at the end of the day I have done very little for my hearts desire.

Then there are some days ( not enough of them ) where I am in the zone. Creating, painting, writing, expanding, whirling, expressing and all is well.

Occasionally I do fifty percent of what has to be done and fifty percent of creating. These are ideal days. Also not enough of them.

I find myself trying to figure out how to balance my art with my responsibilities and I have come to the conclusion: Make plans to do the art but know that life happens and I must be flexible. I can always restart where I left off.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #103 – Worry

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Who told you to worry?

Who said you can not stop worrying?

Worry is stressful. Worry tenses the body and causes pain.

Most of the stuff you worry about never happens.

Worry puts you on the path of over thinking, panic, the downward spiral of depression. In no time at all you will be paralyzed.

As soon as you start to worry, replace the thoughts with positive gentle words. At first your mind will fight you. Soon you will see that worrying is just a habit and habits can be changed.

Worry is just fear. You are stronger than any fear.

For one day say nothing negative about yourself in your thoughts or out loud. Then try it for another day, and another and another until it becomes a habit.

Have patience, it takes time to change a negative habit into a positive habit.

You can do it. Just try.

Thoughtful Thursdays #102 Trauma

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“Trauma survivors have symptoms instead of memories.” (Harvey, 1990) Adapted from Bremner & Marmer, 1998, Copyright 2007 Dr. Fisher

Trauma comes in many forms. Violence of any kind, addictions in both the user and observer, unavailable caregivers, isolation, and poverty are just a few ways of experiencing trauma.

Trauma is toxic mentally and physically because it stops you from maturing and living a full life.  The symptoms of trauma are depression, irritability, loss of interest, numbing, decreased concentration, insomnia, emotional overwhelm, hopelessness, shame and worthlessness, little or no memories, nightmares, flashbacks, hyper-vigilance, mistrust, anxiety, panic attacks, chronic pain, headaches, substance abuse, eating disorders, feeling unreal and out-of-body, self-destructive, loss of a sense of “Who I am”.

That’s a lot of information and possible triggers but they are symptoms of something that holds you back. Trauma effects everything you do with and without your awareness.

To heal from trauma is obvious. Find a trauma therapist. There are tons of information available to read and passionate therapists who want to help you heal.

If you realize you have been a victim that’s good. You will move from victim to survivor to one who thrives to a warrior.

You are strong, reach out and heal.

Freedom

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So many times we feel stuck. Nothing is working out. We are confused about which way to go. Bored and restless.

Reminder: your options are not limited. Ignore naysayers and your own resistance. Think out side of the norm.

To free yourself from your actual or perceived restrictions: Choose.

Choose any direction. Any direction will lead you to freedom. Even if it is as simple a decision as what to eat for breakfast.

Feeling you have no control in your life could be based on your own actions. But more likly because of your inaction.