No one wants to be bullied and as we know the objective is to oppress, torment, intimidate and browbeat someone into submission.
Bullying is easily recognized if we are observing it in real-time. But do we recognize bullying when we do it to ourselves? Probably not, here are some signals you are bullying yourself.
- your inner critic has a field day beating you up by noticing everything that you do wrong.
- your inner critic says unkind, mean things to you.
- some believe that the inner critic is a motivator to do better, this is completely false.
- anxiety, image issues, social anxiety can be the inner critic hounding you with negativity.
- watching TV shows that are violent and traumatize you with fear. (I binge watch crime shows.)
You can’t completely get rid of the inner critic however you can arrest its relentlessness and power with a these few tips.
- pay attention to your thoughts.
- don’t beat yourself up about these thoughts.
- notice what your triggers are.
- respond to yourself with kindness.
- speak to yourself with compassion.
- turn off your TV for a while and limit the shows that are violent. (I’m watching more happy programs.)
- redirect your thoughts and actions to something happy.
Being mindful, kind and compassionate to yourself is an important skill to learn and takes some time.
Instead, you want caring, reassuring, encouraging and supportive words and actions towards yourself.
You are so worth the time and effort.
Anger is very seductive, it feels powerful and it feels wonderful. It coats you like oil, where you feel slippery and untouchable.
This false because truth is soap that washes you clean. The truth is permanent change comes with kindness. It comes with doing what is right. It doesn’t come with being a bully, yeah you are going to change things when you are a bully, but it will be temporary.
It’s like lasting a dark spell. Dark spells don’t last. The good lasts. Always. It is just the way it is. It is the law of the universe.
Life always wants balance. If you are all bully or all saint life will not work. Perfection doesn’t exist. Balance exists, most days are quite ordinary. Quite balanced.
You are better than being a bully. You are more than that. So much greater than that. Look at all you have been through. You are brave and have so much courage. You don’t need to be that way anymore. Forget it, Forget it.
Use your bullying to bully yourself into existence. In a good way in an assertive way that is going to be productive.
Anger keeps you stuck. Peace keeps you productive. It is risky to change behavior. this is where you can be a bully. Be a bully against your own fear.
Bullys don’t trust themselves or life. Bullys don’t trust that they can make right decisions. Bullys think life is out to get them. Those are lies that your own resistance tries to tell you.
Figure out what is the truth and what are lies. Think of all the possiblilites you have.
Go ahead. Just for 5 minutes think of only positive things.
Bullying can become a bad habit. Try to change to get your permanent needs met. Try it………………….
“We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying.”
― Brené Brown, Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead