When I am overwhelmed with racing thoughts and panic I want to run away and hide under a safe rock. I want to numb out from a constant bombardment of possibilities but doubting all of them. I want to hurry up and bring conclusions and endings to stop the confusion.
But wait……….. instead of running anywhere it is OK to STOP.
Stop running and let the massive amount of stuff in your brain settle. Do something different, out of the ordinary, just stop. Force yourself if you have to. Just wait for your mind to process what is going on.
You will be surprised at the amount of insight that is revealed. It’s wonderful to know that everything will turn out well.
We have all experienced the death of something, whether it’s a pet or person or job or relationship, the ending always feels the same: like a big loss. An empty hole that is sentimental and nostalgic and final.
We may want to run away from this empty hole with staying busy, getting high and distraction after distraction. But in those still moments when the emptiness returns be reminded that we need to feel our feelings and grieve the loss completely. Grieving has a purpose. Grieving allows you to empty your pain and becomes an energy that will turn to wisdom, love and power.
Our hearts can become broken so easily. Broken from fear, endings, trauma, and tragedy. How many times have you seen something that makes you really sad and feel helpless to change the situation? We have all run across this many times. A homeless person, the high functioning drug addict, the mentally handicapped, the poor, stray animals, the dying. What about our own personal suffering. Everyone has some challenge. It’s part of the human existence.
Tears flow from our eyes when we see others suffer and sometimes see a reflection of ourselves in that suffering. New Age philosophy makes claims to just think positive. That is unrealistic and impractical. You can’t just think for something to change for the better.
Each heart is unique; each heart has to find its own way of mending. What works for one heart will not work for another. Let’s ask: why is my heart broken and how can I move on?
- Take time to be still.
- Take time to grieve.
- Use extreme self-care.
- Try new things.
- Volunteer your time.
- Read about healing.
- Stay connected to others.
- Stay in the present moment.
- Get support.
In the meantime, hold yourself in high regard and shower love onto yourself. Know that this will pass.
I wasn’t even remotely confident in myself until I was well into being an adult. I didn’t become brave enough to be confident until life threw me several curve balls. I was knocked down quite a few times until I learned to take care of myself. But you can learn confidence before life throws you any curve balls.
One striking thing about confidence if that there is a truth about it. There’s a feeling and truth in ones own abilities.
Here’s some ways to practice your confidence building skills.
- Do what you believe is right even if you are not supported.
- Take a risk and try a little harder to get to your goal.
- Admit your mistakes and correct them.
- Don’t wait for compliments.
- Accept compliments with pride.
- Look at what you have already accomplished.
- Take small steps to move forward.
- Stay away from negative situations.
- Upgrade your body image.
- Know you are brave and will succeed in anything you set out to do.
I am absolutely confident that you will be happier if you try these simple confidence building skills.
Now go out there and show the world who you are. You got this.
I don’t trust very quickly. I like to wait and see where a situation or person leads to. It’s wonderful to have people you can trust but that is rare because people are people and wrapped up in their own stuff.
I am better at trusting me. How can we get better at trusting ourselves?
- Be the CEO of your own life.
- Pay attention to your instincts.
- Go with the flow, try not to force but let life unfold.
- Listen to your body.
- Quiet your mind.
These are some basic ways for developing a sense of trust in yourself and the more you trust yourself the better you know what your next step is and who to trust.
I am always amazed at Mother Nature. After a natural disaster Nature begins its own restoration. A blade of grass here and a flower there. A sudden tree where there was none, a bird making a new home.
It’s the same with us. When disasters happen in our lives we become swept away with confusion and grief. Just as in Nature after a disaster there will be new situations that emerge. We are the same as the blade of grass or bird.What is gone is gone and what is new is necessary at the moment.
Nature is very wise. It always seeks balance. We are part of Nature physically, emotionally spiritually. When our Nature become unbalanced change will happen to restore that balance.
Rebalancing is the reason for change or simply put change happens to restore balance. Even if you don’t understand why.
When strange things happen for no particular reason remember to just go with it. Don’t fight it because Nature is restoring balance. The quicker you accept what is happening the quicker restoration happens. And while you’re at it pay attention to Nature and its magnificent restorative ability. She is doing the same thing for you.
Your life is a work in progress.
It is the process of uncovering your own natural essence. You will uncover who you are and how you feel. Your mind and heart will open and what you need will come to you if you stay open to your own essence.
In being open you will realize, beyond doubt, that you already have everything you need. Intelligence, wisdom and goodness. That’s all you really need.
If you feel uncomfortable being open then you are on the right track. It’s a new skill.
Keep practicing. You have everything you need.
I like to mind my own business mostly unless I am dragged into situations where I have to defend myself. I like being friendly and accommodating except where I am being taken advantage of. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my life to have good times except when it doesn’t .
Most of us want to get along and live in reasonable peace. However, we don’t all have the same awareness. Which shows up when we are interacting with others.
We meet each other at these different levels and that’s where the problems begin. We can’t understand someones indifference or cruelty or insincere remark. Why did they gossip or take belongings or leave with no warning?
How is it that some things are so obvious to us but not to them?
Simple yet not so simple. Awareness. Some of us are simply more aware than others. It’s impossible to know where the other is coming from completely. But it is possible to know about yourself. And that is all that matters because you end up being open to those who resonate with you. You become a light of awareness for others. You have a better set of boundaries. You gain unshakable confidence to live the life you want.
You can’t stop others from being who they are.
Others can’t stop you from being who you are.
So carry on with your bad self.
That’s a hard one. Most of the time we stick with what is easy. We are not even aware that we can choose something different. So we continue to pick what is easy and not go against what the current society rules.
Thinking for yourself involves the following:
figuring out who you really are
figuring out where you want to spend your precious time
figuring out what to get rid of
taking the steps to combine all of the above.
You can live with the way things are or you can change them.
For me taking the steps is the hardest and sticking with it. That’s OK because it takes time to find where you belong.
My fourteen year old computer died a quick and painless death about five weeks ago. Since then I had been thrown back into the dark ages of no computer. I say almost because I used my phone as much as possible but it was difficult. So I borrowed lap tops and went to the library barely getting my emails answered.
Thankfully, I now have a new one. It zips and flies and speeds all over the world-wide web. I am so relieved.
This now my chance to catch up with the rest of the world.