Category Archives: Law of Attraction

Beating Trauma with Elisabeth Corey

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I have worked with Elisabeth Corey for quite some time. Along with a trauma therapist  and  Elisabeth I have made great strides in working through years of trauma. Working with her was the missing link in my recovery. I am adding her most recent blog post here in the hopes it may help you.

Most of us have been on this journey for a long time.  We have been searching for peace and healing for years.  We have sought out the answers to our pain for years.  We would most certainly call ourselves seekers.  We are driven by something deep inside that won’t leave us alone.  Even when we spend time in denial, we always come back.  But the resistance to our journey is strong and coming from all directions.  Society tells us to plan for the future, to ignore the past, to be as productive as possible, and to pretend we are fine, even perfect.  Our family wants us to stay in denial and keep the secrets.  Our friends wonder why we won’t stop thinking and talking about the past. All of these pressures can set us back on our journey.

But society has the wrong idea.  We think we can leave the past behind by ignoring it, denying it and focusing on the future.  But we cannot create what we want this way.  It is like building a house of cards in an earthquake zone.  It is only a matter of time before our past patterns, cycles, beliefs and emotions come rising up and shake everything to the ground.  We cannot build a new life on this shaky foundation.  We must dig deep and unearth the unconscious residue from our traumatic past.  We must pull it up and out.  Until that happens, we are not making a new life for ourselves.  There is no room for it.  The space to manifest is already full.  And it is manifesting what we don’t want.  To bring in the new, we must let go of the old.  But what does it mean to let go of the old?  Here are some examples I have found in my own life.

Letting Go of the Savior.  If we grew up with childhood trauma, we almost always have inner children hoping for a savior.  This savior might be modeled after someone who existed in real life or an imaginary person.  But these hopes sit in our unconscious and drive most of what we do.  They tell us things like, “Don’t be too successful or our savior might not feel the need to come.”  Inner children are very opposed to the idea that we can save ourselves.  They don’t understand we have an adult self now and can actually make empowered change in our lives.  And if they are too strong in our unconscious, they might have us convinced we cannot save ourselves.  They live in a state of helplessness and hopelessness.  We must come to understand this as an emotional flashback so we can live our lives without the constant search for a savior.

Letting Go of the Parental Relationship.  I am going to start by saying this isn’t always necessary in the most literal sense.  We might not need to completely let go of the parental relationship to bring in the new.  But I will guarantee we need to let go of the dysfunction and lack of boundaries.  Parents will likely fight us on this, but this needs to be done for us to manifest our best life.  These parental relationships in their current form are clouding our energy.  We have contracts with them left over from childhood.  These contracts might obligate us to take care of our parents’ emotional or physical needs.  These contracts might obligate us to take part in their traditions.  They may even obligate us to financially support our parents.  These contracts are upheld by guilt and societal duty, but they are not in our best interest.  These contracts mean we are not free.  We are slaves to our past relationships.  And new, more fulfilling relationships cannot enter our space while we uphold these contracts with our parents.

Letting Go of Dead People.  This concept might be a stretch for you.  I get that.  Depending on your beliefs, this may or may not resonate with you.  And feel free to take it or leave it.  But for me, I have sensed some aspects of my energy being held up by dead people.  My ancestors are most certainly hanging around and I used to think this was a good thing.  I do believe we transmute and transform energy for the generations before us as we heal ourselves.  And when we are on a deep healing path, this might give us quite a bit of spiritual company.  It might feel comforting for a while.  But I am starting to realize there is a point in this journey where I have to send them away.  As long as my traumatic past is living in my energy, I am not completely free to bring in the new.  But there is one significant dead person who I am particularly focused on at the moment: my ex-husband and children’s father.  He needs to go.  I have recently realized I have spent the past 7 years married to a ghost.  He is deeply and energetically tied into my needs for a savior.  And on some very unconscious level, my inner children were still expecting a return.  But a return would only give me a heart attack.  My adult self sincerely doesn’t want that for a couple of reasons.  1) He’s dead.  2) He’s deeply traumatized.  So I have to let go of that relationship in my conscious mind, my unconscious mind and on a cellular level.  There is nothing left to gain from continuing to hold on.  It is time to bring in the new.

So in this time of bringing in the new (yes this is the time), check in with what you are holding on to from the past.  It might be something glaring and obvious.  It might make logical sense and it might not.  It might be something so obscure you have to search through the depths of your unconscious.  But if you aren’t manifesting what you want in life, there is something blocking it.  Find it.  It is your life and you get to remove anything that is not serving you.  You get to say what stays and what goes.  This is your time to grieve and let go of the past.  This is your time to live your new life.

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Thoughtful Thursdays #192 – Prisoner Of Your Own Mind

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Any kind of entrapment feels uncomfortable. You can become a prisoner of your own mind too. Do you have obsessive thoughts? Are you adamant about your beliefs and won’t listen to other points of view? Do you have self-defeating tendencies?

The good news is being a prisoner of your mind is mostly artificial.  A lot  these thoughts are based on fear and insecurities.

The work to open that cell door comes from grounding yourself in some way. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Writing.
  2. Redirecting your thoughts.
  3. Exercise.
  4. Making art.
  5. Talking to a mental health professional.
  6. Meditation.

I am sure you can add to the list. The idea is to be in the present moment for as long as possible so your mind does not hijack you back to being a prisoner.

This takes effort, consistency, and even scary at times to go into this new territory.  The results are so worth it and will strengthen you. Go for it.

Thoughtful Thursdays – #174 – Sins and Secrets

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Sin = wrongdoing, transgression, crime, offense.

Secret = not meant to be known or seen by others

To my understanding a sin is an action done out of ignorance.

To my understanding secrets can be surrounded by shame.

Ignorance does not protect us from consequences.

Shame keeps secrets in place.

If we have a secret that causes shame it may cause ignorant actions with many consequences.

We all have “sins and secrets” we want to go the grave with. But the burden of carrying “sins and secrets” is so very painful. Here are some safe ways of releasing the pain.

  1. Write your heart out without censure.
  2. Find a therapist or someone you can really trust to talk it out.
  3. Don’t beat yourself up, have compassion for yourself.
  4. Research the issues you are dealing with.
  5. Change what you can, leave the rest alone.

We are all human and we make mistakes, this is part of life. And every day is a new chance to change.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays – #170 – I will I won’t

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Free will may not be all it’s cracked up to be. Free will gives us the freedom to do not only good things but unhealthy things like self-destructive behavior. You may say I can do what I want because I have the free will to do so – so I will.

On the other hand you have the freedom to say I won’t – this just may be the freedom you are looking for.

I won’t take what does not belong to me. I won’t talk to the pretty co-worker but go home and talk to my partner. I won’t take that hit of coke or pop that pill or take that drink. I won’t engage in unhealthy behaviors.  I have the freedom to choose either way. But “I won’t” just may free you up to enjoy a fuller life.

Happy choosing.

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 167 – It’s OK To Stop

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When I am overwhelmed with racing thoughts and panic I want to run away and hide under a safe rock. I want to numb out from a constant bombardment of possibilities but doubting all of them. I want to hurry up and bring conclusions and endings to stop the confusion.

But wait……….. instead of running anywhere it is OK to STOP.

Stop running and let the massive amount of stuff in your brain settle. Do something different, out of the ordinary, just stop. Force yourself if you have to. Just wait for your mind to process what is going on.

You will be surprised at the amount of insight that is revealed. It’s wonderful to know that everything will turn out well.

Thoughtful Thursdays #161 – Loss

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We have all experienced the death of something, whether it’s a pet or person or job or relationship, the ending always feels the same: like a big loss. An empty hole that is sentimental and nostalgic and final.

We may want to run away from this empty hole with staying busy, getting high and distraction after distraction. But in those still moments when the emptiness returns be reminded that we need to feel our feelings and grieve the loss completely. Grieving has a purpose. Grieving allows you to empty your pain and becomes an energy that will turn to wisdom, love and power.

 

Too Many Broken Hearts

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Our hearts can become broken so easily. Broken from fear, endings, trauma, and tragedy. How many times have you seen something that makes you really sad and feel helpless to change the situation? We have all run across this many times. A homeless person, the high functioning drug addict, the mentally handicapped, the poor, stray animals, the dying. What about our own personal suffering. Everyone has some challenge. It’s part of the human existence.

Tears flow from our eyes when we see others suffer and sometimes see a reflection of ourselves in that suffering. New Age philosophy makes claims to just think positive. That is unrealistic and impractical. You can’t just think for something to change for the better.

Each heart is unique; each heart has to find its own way of mending. What works for one heart will not work for another. Let’s ask: why is my heart broken and how can I move on?

  1. Take time to be still.
  2. Take time to grieve.
  3. Use extreme self-care.
  4. Try new things.
  5. Volunteer your time.
  6. Read about healing.
  7. Stay connected to others.
  8. Stay in the present moment.
  9. Get support.

In the meantime, hold yourself in high regard and shower love onto yourself. Know that this will pass.

 

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #155 – Confidence

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I wasn’t even remotely confident in myself until I was well into being an adult. I didn’t become brave enough to be confident until life threw me several curve balls. I was knocked down quite a few times until I learned to take care of myself. But you can learn confidence before life throws you any curve balls.

One striking thing about confidence if that there is a truth about it. There’s a feeling and truth in ones own abilities.

Here’s some ways to practice your confidence building skills.

  1. Do what you believe is right even if you are not supported.
  2. Take a risk and try a little harder to get to your goal.
  3. Admit your mistakes and correct them.
  4. Don’t wait for compliments.
  5. Accept compliments with pride.
  6. Look at what you have already accomplished.
  7. Take small steps to move forward.
  8. Stay away from negative situations.
  9. Upgrade your body image.
  10. Know you are brave and will succeed in anything you set out to do.

I am absolutely confident that you will be happier if you try these simple confidence building skills.

Now go out there and show the world who you are. You got this.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #151 – Trust

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I don’t trust very quickly. I like to wait and see where a situation or person leads to.  It’s wonderful to have people you can trust but that is rare because people are people and wrapped up in their own stuff.

I am better at trusting me. How can we get better at trusting ourselves?

  1. Be the CEO of your own life.
  2. Pay attention to  your instincts.
  3. Go with the flow, try not to force but let life unfold.
  4. Listen to your body.
  5. Quiet your mind.

These are some basic ways for developing a sense of trust in yourself and the more you trust yourself the better you know what your next step is and who to trust.

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays – #130 – Mother Nature

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I am always amazed at Mother Nature. After a natural disaster Nature begins its own restoration. A blade of grass here and a flower there. A sudden tree where there was none, a bird making a new home.

It’s the same with us. When disasters happen in our lives we become swept away with confusion and grief. Just as in Nature after a disaster there will be new situations that emerge. We are the same as the blade of grass or bird.What is gone is gone and what is new is necessary at the moment.

Nature is very wise. It always seeks balance. We are part of Nature physically, emotionally spiritually. When our Nature become unbalanced change will happen to restore that balance.

Rebalancing is the reason for change or simply put change happens to restore balance. Even if you don’t understand why.

When strange things happen for no particular reason remember to just go with it. Don’t fight it because Nature is restoring balance. The quicker you accept what is happening the quicker restoration happens. And while you’re at it pay attention to Nature and its magnificent restorative ability. She is doing the same thing for you.