Compassion = being open to receive information and hearing distress without feeling it yourself. Compassionate listening allows you to be of help and feel for the person. There is emotional distance here.
Empathy = empathy is where you find some personal experience in you that resonates like a broken heart or tragedy. With empathy you feel the others feelings and become enmeshed with the person’s feelings. There is emotional involvement and hard to escape.
Both empathy and compassion are valuable. But empathy is emotional draining at times, compassion is about mindfulness and loving kindness without bias.
Whichever you choose I hope it is for yourself first. You of all people deserve empathy and compassion.
This is one of the most loving and kind action you can do for yourself.
My birthday was actually yesterday but I want to share some of my thoughts about it.
Today is my birthday, it was actually yesterday, and I am reminded of how lucky I am to be here. There are different ways of celebrating birthdays, cakes, candles, songs, presents, and there is a special belief in esoteric circles that for your birthday you get 10 wishes. Yes 10 wishes.
I wish for the customary things like money and good health for myself and family. Less fear more courage, less procrastination more action, less negativity more positivity.
I can write those wishes down on paper or say them out loud, I can petition the invisible wish guardians with all my concerns.
Burn bright, I ask the wish guardians, so I can see my way clear.
Open new possibilities and allow safe passage to new roads.
Clear my mind so I can be kinder and smarter to all beings.
These requests bring me to become very quiet to consider the present moment.
Right now, most of all, on this very blog, with such humble, open hearted, generous men and women I wish each and every one of you health, wealth, wisdom and peace and wondrous goodness. I hope that all your wishes come true. And I sincerely thank you for being here and being part of my life and my birthday.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — C.G. Jung
We must become conscious of our beliefs and feelings going on in our minds or we cannot change or transform ourselves and our lives. If something said is repeated over and over it becomes real, but in many cases what was said is either outdated at this point.
If we want to live with meaning and purpose we must make a list of these beliefs and feelings and examine them and tear them apart and eliminate those that don’t resonate with our values.
When we act from outmoded beliefs and feelings we stay stuck and can’t do the necessary letting go so we can move on.
In my case, both my caregivers were mentally ill so I had many bizarre beliefs and feelings that did not make sense even at a young age, I was not self-aware for a long time until I was much older and could be a bit objective about those beliefs and worked with therapists.
Many beliefs we pick up during our lives are dysfunctional. They make us limited.
On a regular basis we must update our beliefs, what was true in the past may not apply now. We must find those very deep beliefs that are not very conscious and rip them out by the roots. This is not easy, it requires, courage, sticking with a therapist, and a commitment to your own self-care.
This uncovering is all about finding the truth, your truth, so you can live the best life that is unique to you. We want to be whole, we want our inner parts integrated, we want to be happy.
None is possible unless we care deeply for ourselves on a regular basis. You are so worth the effort and with this loving effort for yourself the transformation of your life is permanent.
From FB page The Psychology Babes
Arguing for your limitations: it is so frustrating to hear someone insist that there is no way out of their uncomfortable situation, that they have no choices to choose from, that there trapped in a box and can’t get out.
To insist on believing that you are helpless is an argument in favor of you own self-imposed limitations. Stop doing that, you must stop creating your own traps, be curious about different ways of dealing with a situation, write your choices down and make them real, without distraction go inside of yourself and ask what you need to know, search for information that may be helpful in your quest.
If any of these suggestions make you cringe then friend I am here to tell you the truth of what is happening inside of you. It is fear, fear of change, not being good enough, not being worthy, retaliation for moving forward, the list goes on and on.
It is fear that causes one to argue for their limitations. Resistance is fear and resistance is the indicator that you must go towards what you fear because that is where your answers are.
You are never trapped, there is always an answer to your situation, and you are not helpless.
Will the change you so desperately crave be easy, nope it will not be easy. You will be required to put in effort to uncover what you need to change course and put yourself back on the road to your own happiness and continue creating a wonderful, miraculous life that you so rightly deserve.
Get started now, you are so worth it.
Here in USA it is May is Mental Health Month. The idea behind this is to bring out in the open any mental health issues and get rid of any stigma attached to it.
Trauma, substance abuse, mental illness, OCD, PTSD are just a few manifestations of mental health challenges.
There is nothing wrong with having mental health challenges and it’s important not to let these challenges fester. The sooner you take an interest in your own mental health the better you will feel. Go to therapy, read up on the issues bothering you, write, exercise, explore a hobby, continue the list in your own way.
It won’t be easy but you are so worth the effort.
Affirmations are those positive thoughts and words that are said internally and out loud over and over until you believe them and see the truth of them.
Simpler said than done, but saying affirmations do help make one feel better.
If you go back to negative thinking very quickly, it’s because of the long-standing criticism you have of yourself. It’s OK. You can redirect your thinking at any time.
If you find resistance when you are saying positive affirmations then that is where you have an issue to look at.
Practicing affirmations is the key to making them work. It takes at least a month of speaking kind words, compassionate words, uplifting words to yourself.
Here are two of my favorite affirmations.
I believe in myself.
I approve of myself.
And you can also research the subject on-line. Louise Hay was a pioneer in positive affirmations and her audiobooks are free online.
Our minds are not always in tune with our powerful grounded self. Being in touch with our grounded self is difficult to maintain in the best of circumstances. Our grounded self is where we feel strong, centered and strong.
Our minds are busy thinking, chatting, bringing up the past and worrying about the future, describing fears in great detail and at times sending us down the rabbit hole of despair and keeping trauma experiences invisible, untouchable, un-feel-able.
Our subconscious runs the show in trauma recovery. If we are mostly distracted it’s a signal that our subconscious is not feeling safe enough to express its concerns about the trauma you experienced.
And that is OK. Eventually, the more you learn to be grounded the more your subconscious will reveal information about the unhealed trauma material.
When this happens witness without judgement and thank your subconscious for revealing its secrets to you. Tell your subconscious how proud you are of it protecting you for so long and it can release this heavy burden, you are both safe now.
There are two things that we have complete control over. Our thoughts and actions. That is pretty much it.
Things that go on outside of us are uncontrollable. We may have a chance to use our own actions to influence the event. That is still controlling our actions. We can take an action that will influence our own lives or someone else’s in a positive way.
We can’t stop our thoughts, that is the purpose of our mind is to think but we can stop useless thoughts by practicing redirecting our thoughts. For example, if someone is talking bad about you or someone else you can choose to stop those negative thoughts that put you down the rabbit hole of despair and change the subject to something positive.
Take note: This kind of mindfulness is not easy, when you start and you can expect your mind to resist change. This is good because resistance will show you where you need look at your own issues. Be kind to yourself as you make these positive changes, if you become distracted, redirect when you can. You are worth the effort.
Improving your life is a spiritual practice because it requires mindfulness.
What is mindfulness? Focusing one’s attention on the present moment.
This is what being spiritual means, being mindful of your own actions and adjusting your actions on the road to improvement.
Simple enough but not easy to do. Keep trying, spiritual things take a while.