Tag Archives: decisions

Thoughtful Thursdays #188 – Move Closer

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There are some pretty scary emotions that we run from. Our minds race with one disaster after another. Our society almost demands that we let it go and move on from tragedy or trauma. Letting go and moving on is not possible if we smother the very emotions we need to move closer to. Emotions like fear, abandonment, isolation and worthlessness.

Move closer to the parts of you that you exiled. Move closer to the very emotions that scare you. Move closer to approval for all strange events you survived. Move closer to being curious about your behavior. Move closer to the parts that are so hard to accept and love. Move closer to having compassion and kindness for yourself. Move closer to being intimate with our own courage. Move closer to deeply knowing who you are because you can’t help anyone else without helping yourself first.

It won’t be easy but so worth the effort. Your thinking will become more integrated and grounded. And an important perk to this effort is you will become more productive, understanding and confident.

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Thoughtful Thursdays #184 – Inner World – Outer World

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We all have an inner and outer world. In our head there are so many thoughts and voices it’s hard to identify which way is the most effective way.

We all have an outer world that reflects your inner world. The mess, confusion, the paralysis.

How to get the both in sync is to find your way of grounding yourself.

To start: In whatever task you are doing direct your thoughts to the present moment.

For example: I am washing the dishes, I am cutting an onion, I am driving my car, I am walking the dog. Bring attention to your breathing. Let the thoughts come with no judgement. Don’t judge yourself either.

The idea is to get out of your head for a little while and find a sense of peace away from racing thoughts and impulsive actions.

Your inner world and outer world will thank you for the peace.

Thoughtful Thursdays #183 – Road Rage

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Road rage is never about the traffic incident, it’s about underlying, unresolved anger that is misplaced.

Over reacting to any situation is usually about unresolved hurt, anger,  oppression or any other uncomfortable feeling of  frustration.

I am not minimizing that a particular event like road rage is not meaningful.

These trigger events are meaningful because they show you where you have been hiding, and not dealing with uncomfortable stuff.

These trigger events are your reminder of where you are not looking to be healed.

These trigger events are your teachers.

These trigger events are monumental in transforming your life.

Look where you are hurting, go to the places that make you uncomfortable, be willing to be curious about what is triggering you.

You may have to change some stuff: do you need to remove yourself from a situation, do you need to protect yourself, do you need to have a difficult conversation. Then by all means do it, it’s going to hurt temporarily, but you will be so much better off in the long run.

Welcome Road Rage and any other Rage into your life. It’s the place you need to change something.

Thoughtful Thursdays #180 – Emotional Trauma in the Body

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It is common information about emotional trauma being trapped in the body. Google it or go to the library for reading material.

However, how do we uncover emotions without the long stretches in therapy or costly physical therapies?

Start with walking more, take the stairs, swim, dance, rent a bike, work out, walk your neighbor’s dog, garden, yoga on youtube.

The next step to exorcise those pesky emotions that sneak up on you and settle in your body, sit with paper and pen or open a word document  and pour your mind onto a page.

By exercising you can release trauma from your body which is connected to your mind.

By writing you exorcise trauma from your mind which is connected to your body.

Find your balance.

Thoughtful Thursdays # 179 – 15 Minutes

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If you have 15 minutes for yourself what would you do?

Call a friend, Mend some clothing, Paint a picture, Sing a song, Write in stream of consciousness, Meditate, Listen to you favorite music, Draw a picture, Write a positive note to your significant other, Feed your pet some treats, Gaze at the night sky, Sit still in the morning hours before daylight, Read something interesting, Count the stars, Sip a hot beverage, Send good wishes to those in need, Not complain in your voice or head, Just listen intently to your environment.

Finish the list of your favorites.

And you do have 15 minutes anytime you want. Indulge happily.

Thoughtful Thursdays #175 – What Is Necessary to Our Wellbeing

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There are three things necessary to our wellbeing: Identity, Community and Purpose.

However in our fractured world where these things are hard to find, many people, young people especially are lost in the world. The internet doesn’t help. Even though the internet is a tremendous asset there is not much in the way of human interaction. So we become fractured. We lose any sense of identity, community and purpose. We flip from one relationship to another to find our identity, racing from one community to another to feel we fit in, and trying over and over again different causes to feel personally satisfied. Or we can completely shut down.

We can see the lies fed to everyone by invisible agenda makers. These invisible agenda makers know psychology to manipulate those who are searching for their lost identity, community and purpose. Their hidden agenda is to tap into these basic human needs to the detriment of the searcher. These invisible agenda makers come up as extremists groups as political, religious, consumerism and that sneaky minority of those who just hate humanity and are power-hungry to destroy anyone they can.

Let’s find out what our true identity, community and purpose is by not blindly following others but doing the work of learning about ourselves. If you have no sense of identity, find out who you are by your own standards. If you have no community, find like-minded people or create your own community. If you have no sense of purpose, find your passion and go for it.

It’s not easy to go your own way, it’s unknown territory so at times you will feel lonely and lost. That is OK. Sit with the feeling rather than running away from it. When you arrive to the other side you will know more of who you are, have an internal compass that will find the community that loves you and you get up every day happy to live your purpose.

Stop wasting time, learn more about you now.

Thoughtful Thursdays – #174 – Sins and Secrets

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Sin = wrongdoing, transgression, crime, offense.

Secret = not meant to be known or seen by others

To my understanding a sin is an action done out of ignorance.

To my understanding secrets can be surrounded by shame.

Ignorance does not protect us from consequences.

Shame keeps secrets in place.

If we have a secret that causes shame it may cause ignorant actions with many consequences.

We all have “sins and secrets” we want to go the grave with. But the burden of carrying “sins and secrets” is so very painful. Here are some safe ways of releasing the pain.

  1. Write your heart out without censure.
  2. Find a therapist or someone you can really trust to talk it out.
  3. Don’t beat yourself up, have compassion for yourself.
  4. Research the issues you are dealing with.
  5. Change what you can, leave the rest alone.

We are all human and we make mistakes, this is part of life. And every day is a new chance to change.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays – #173 – There Is No Rush

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Unfortunately society tells us to rush, rush, rush. Work harder, Be the first, Be the fastest. You are not enough unless you do as everyone else does.

Not true.

There is no rush to live your life or do your inner work. There is no time line. There is only the day by day actions that make your life fulfilling to you. There are only the small steps into knowing who you are. There is no finish line.

Only movement at your own pace.

Thoughtful Thursdays – #170 – I will I won’t

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Free will may not be all it’s cracked up to be. Free will gives us the freedom to do not only good things but unhealthy things like self-destructive behavior. You may say I can do what I want because I have the free will to do so – so I will.

On the other hand you have the freedom to say I won’t – this just may be the freedom you are looking for.

I won’t take what does not belong to me. I won’t talk to the pretty co-worker but go home and talk to my partner. I won’t take that hit of coke or pop that pill or take that drink. I won’t engage in unhealthy behaviors.  I have the freedom to choose either way. But “I won’t” just may free you up to enjoy a fuller life.

Happy choosing.

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 167 – It’s OK To Stop

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When I am overwhelmed with racing thoughts and panic I want to run away and hide under a safe rock. I want to numb out from a constant bombardment of possibilities but doubting all of them. I want to hurry up and bring conclusions and endings to stop the confusion.

But wait……….. instead of running anywhere it is OK to STOP.

Stop running and let the massive amount of stuff in your brain settle. Do something different, out of the ordinary, just stop. Force yourself if you have to. Just wait for your mind to process what is going on.

You will be surprised at the amount of insight that is revealed. It’s wonderful to know that everything will turn out well.