Tag Archives: relationships

Thoughtful Thursdays #155 – Confidence

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I wasn’t even remotely confident in myself until I was well into being an adult. I didn’t become brave enough to be confident until life threw me several curve balls. I was knocked down quite a few times until I learned to take care of myself. But you can learn confidence before life throws you any curve balls.

One striking thing about confidence if that there is a truth about it. There’s a feeling and truth in ones own abilities.

Here’s some ways to practice your confidence building skills.

  1. Do what you believe is right even if you are not supported.
  2. Take a risk and try a little harder to get to your goal.
  3. Admit your mistakes and correct them.
  4. Don’t wait for compliments.
  5. Accept compliments with pride.
  6. Look at what you have already accomplished.
  7. Take small steps to move forward.
  8. Stay away from negative situations.
  9. Upgrade your body image.
  10. Know you are brave and will succeed in anything you set out to do.

I am absolutely confident that you will be happier if you try these simple confidence building skills.

Now go out there and show the world who you are. You got this.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays – #153 – Repeating Patterns

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We are destined to repeat the same patterns of negativity until we examine them.

If you find yourself in destructive patterns over and over it is Mother Nature’s signal to stop what you are doing and examine it. Believe it or not there are signals from Mother Nature and your higher self-telling you to destroy what you don’t need to repeat. This is actually a healthy part of you reaching out and saying: “Enough is enough it’s time to look at what is going on here”.

Here is a secret, you can be sure that your mind will tell you this is not true and try all kinds of tricks to stop you from moving forward. Don’t listen to the lies your mind tells you. Your mind says these things because it is afraid to feel anything. It wants you to stay the same and be safe. But eventually the pain will be too much and you will either squash it with more self-destruction or do yourself a favor and reach out with kindness for yourself and examine what you are doing.

It is not easy to be honest about how we feel and the actions we take. It just takes a tiny step in a healing direction. A tiny risk of looking at your own beliefs, a tiny look at who we pretend to be and who we really are.

You are strong enough, smart enough, have time enough, love yourself enough  to do this work, you are brave enough and lucky enough to be on this path. You are worth it too. And a bonus, your family, friends, pets, and all you touch will heal as you heal.

Reach out and find a therapy, a part of nature, a hobby you are inspired by and follow it. There may not be any outward signs to follow; some signals will come from an internal place and manifest in the here and now. Your intuition will speak, your adult self will act and the child in you will rejoice.

Thoughtful Thursdays #150 – Talking To Myself

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It is my opinion and experience that there are many parts to me. In a schizophrenic way we are all made up of many internal parts to greater or lesser degrees. We have the part that we show to the everyday world, a part that is the child, the part that is wounded, the love seeker, the angry one and many others. How do we know who is out and who isn’t?

If you feel stuck and frustrated there is probably and internal conflict going on between your inner parts.

The fastest way to figure out what you are thinking is to write. Sit down with a pen or at your computer and bang out what you are thinking and feeling. This will allow your inner parts a voice. At some point you will experience a window of space, of expansiveness where you will be insightful. This happened because you allowed your inner parts a voice and they get quiet. This type of writing is done frequently. The more you write from your inner parts the better you feel and more likely to change for the better.

You are worth the time and effort it takes to learn about yourself. It’s time to grow.

Thoughtful Thursdays #144 – Depression

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Depression – Ugh – That feeling that nothing matters and all is hopeless. But lets take another look. Depression just might be your friend. It is probably telling you something is wrong. Maybe its your job, relationships, the drug you use, the lifestyle you have, and that it’s time for a change.

The reason you feel so bad is that you refuse to listen to the changes you need to make. Change is hard but it’s better than living in a constant state of misery and hopelessness.

Don’t believe the lies that your fear will tell you that you are helpless to change. That is not true. You are capable of doing anything you want to do.

Now get out there and make a plan. Do one baby step. Only baby steps. Only baby steps work. You can do it.

Thoughtful Thursdays #141 – Control

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This election has been quite a surprise. Some citizens are happy, some citizens are sad. And that is OK. We have lived through many questionable presidents.

There is nothing you can do about who is president. Not even your vote counted because the Electoral College is the one who really picks the president. Don’t believe me? Check for yourself. The only reason you vote is to express your opinion to the Electoral College. Therefore, how much control did you really have when you voted. Not much. That was an illusion.

Control of others is an illusion. Period. You can influence but not control. I am talking adults here. How frustrating it is to know that you mostly can’t control conditions  outside of you. You are probably shouting at this post right now saying she doesn’t know what she is talking about. But you can’t control what I write nor can I control how you view my writing.

Controlling yourself is the best way to effect your own life for the better. You have control over your effort, lifestyle, job, relationships and any other choice you make for yourself. That is the power you have right now that can be used at anytime.

Focusing on your own life is vastly more important than who is president. Focus on what is in your control not what is outside of it.

Thoughtful Thursdays # 139 – Following Your Dreams

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I can’t stand broad generalizations about what to do with your life. Most of the time these phrases are tongue in cheek sayings that mean nothing because there are no specifics. In the case of “Follow Your Dreams”: of course it’s true but my dream is different from yours.  What is meaningful to you is not meaningful to me. So what to do.

  1. Be specific about what your dream is.
  2. What are the steps needed to fulfill that dream.
  3. Believe it’s achievable.
  4. Decide on a timeline to get there.
  5. If you need help, ask for it.
  6. Stay focused.

I am sure you could flesh this out to fit your plan. Instead of “Follow Your Dreams”  how about “Let’s Make A Plan”.

I like that.

Happy planning.

Thoughtful Thursdays #133 – All Parts Are Good

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We all have different parts of us. Our lives are experienced through these different parts. We have the party part, the defender, the analyzer, critic, comedian, intuitive, loving part, parent, child, adult and peacemaker are just a few. These parts can work with each other or alone.

We are not strange for having these parts. All of us have them. Each part gives us information about who we are, what we believe and many possible explanations of our actions.

All parts are good and make up our special-ness. Problems shows up when we deny these different parts. All our parts have a purpose. To help us figure things out, even if you are uncomfortable.

Trust yourself and all your parts. They are on your side and have your best interests at heart.

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 131 Hero Of Our Own Life

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We play many roles in our lives. This world drama is acted out on this beautiful stage, Earth. Every day there are millions of dramas happening at once. Some drama directly affects us and some drama does not.

Where the drama involves us we have the opportunity to be a hero and effect the outcome in the best way possible. In this way we are the hero of our own lives and create our own destiny. At the same time being a hero in your own life directly affects a positive influence on others.

We are all given a hero’s role and the power to live our days as we choose. Each day give us many chances to change, shape, act and respond to the world.

Sometimes a hero’s journey is challenging, sometimes it’s easy. However, we all have that special role, the hero role. Make the most of this life and all we encounter and be a powerful hero.

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays – #130 – Mother Nature

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I am always amazed at Mother Nature. After a natural disaster Nature begins its own restoration. A blade of grass here and a flower there. A sudden tree where there was none, a bird making a new home.

It’s the same with us. When disasters happen in our lives we become swept away with confusion and grief. Just as in Nature after a disaster there will be new situations that emerge. We are the same as the blade of grass or bird.What is gone is gone and what is new is necessary at the moment.

Nature is very wise. It always seeks balance. We are part of Nature physically, emotionally spiritually. When our Nature become unbalanced change will happen to restore that balance.

Rebalancing is the reason for change or simply put change happens to restore balance. Even if you don’t understand why.

When strange things happen for no particular reason remember to just go with it. Don’t fight it because Nature is restoring balance. The quicker you accept what is happening the quicker restoration happens. And while you’re at it pay attention to Nature and its magnificent restorative ability. She is doing the same thing for you.

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 130 A Work In Progress

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Your life is a work in progress.

It is the process of uncovering your own natural essence. You will uncover who you are and how you feel. Your mind and heart will open and what you need will come to you if you stay open to your own essence.

In being open you will realize, beyond doubt, that you already have everything you need. Intelligence, wisdom and goodness. That’s all you really need.

If you feel uncomfortable being open then you are on the right track. It’s a new skill.

Keep practicing. You have everything you need.