Sticks and stones can break your bones and words can hurt you too.
Words have the power to explain, and uplift and shame and sooth and entice and many more ways to influence us, every day and in all ways.
How do you communicate? Do you think before you speak?
Words are intrinsic to self examination, sharing information, connecting emotionally. Words can trigger pain or can build bridges or burn false beliefs.
You get my point, the words you speak to yourself are as important as the words you speak to others.
Are you kind or mean with your internal dialog? Do you repeat fears and worries, do you take the time to listen to the your internal dialog and distinguish between the false lies or the quiet truth. Do you take the time to be quiet, still, grounded?
How you speak to yourself has a dramatic effect, if you put yourself down all the time you will start to believe it even if it is not true.
Start by paying attention to what you are telling yourself and make an effort to speak to yourself with lovingkindness. You are so very important, please start now.
Stereotype-A stereotype is a mistaken idea or belief many people have about a thing or group that is based upon how they look on the outside, which may be untrue or only partly true. Stereotyping people is a type of prejudice because what is on the outside is a small part of who a person is. Wikipedia.
Broad Generalizations-In everyday language, a generalization is defined as a broad statement or an idea that is applied to a group of people or things. Often, generalizations are not entirely true, because there are usually examples of individuals or situations wherein the generalization does not apply. Google search.
It really bothers me when someone spews out of their mouth some stupid statement like: dogs are smarter than cats, cats are aloof, woman want large families, men never make commitments, that salesmen are greedy, pretty people are stuck up.
A woman said to me the other day that all women are nurturing and intuitive, are you kidding me, that is not true, none of these statements are true.
I can’t stop others from getting on their podium and spread false information but I can check out for myself all the information I need. I can find the truth for myself. And so can you.
Don’t blindly believe in what you are told. Zombies do that, don’t be a zombie, be a involved human by being informed. Investigate, figure out for yourself what is being presented and make decisions based on your own truth, not someone else’s.
We can serve others without voluntarily acting as a martyr. We can serve others without giving anything up, nope not one thing.
We can serve others by telling our story, there is always someone who will be inspired by your struggles and how you overcame them. The world needs more brave souls like all of us who have suffered, to inspire others into positive action.
When we tell our story we are acting authentic and showing our true selves, you are saying what everyone is feeling but can’t say it, you are helping someone heal with your honesty, and importantly you have showed your humanity and gained trust because you tell the truth.
Your words and actions will reinforce the honest person that you are.
Your words and actions are the kindest way of serving others in a deep and profound way through inspired action.
How wonderfully powerful, and generous you are as you serve your fellow man by telling your truth, your fabulous story, you deserve to be very proud of yourself.
Carry on you brave soul.
There are many ways we feel shame, in Psychotherapist’s Joseph Burgo book there are 4 subtypes of shame and I will list them here:
- Unrequited Love-this is not only the type of unreciprocated love between adults, the author explains that it happens in infancy and childhood when a parent is not able to respond to the child in a healthy way. In my opinion this explains those nasty situations where we run after unavailable people. This makes a lot of sense to me.
- Unwanted exposure-maybe you were called out on something and humiliated about it.
- Disappointed exception-perhaps you set out to do something and fail.
- Being left out-it happens everywhere, home, work, school. No one wants to feel alone and rejected.
Shame can be so mentally excruciating that we are stopped in our tracks or run away from the pain. And that is normal.
How to heal shame: very difficult without mindfulness. But certainly achievable by doing the important work of examining your mental health. There is Mr. Burgo’s book plus the classic book on shame by John Bradshaw. There are thousands of articles and books available plus it’s really helpful to have a therapist so you can work through the core emotion of shame.
Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self Esteem by Mr. Joseph Burgo
Healing the Shame That Binds You – John Bradshaw.
Both books are a good starting point for examining shame.
Carry on. You can do this.