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Thoughtful Thursday #268 – The Court Of Public Opinion

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I posted my opinion on a Facebook page that I thought was open minded and I could trust with my words.

Nope – my post was deleted and I  was called dumb and my opinion was wrong and didn’t matter. This is not the first time I have been treated this way when I give my opinion and once again I became a victim of the Court of Public Opinion.

Is it just me or does anyone else see this: I get that Facebook is not real life but it’s a platform for personal agendas and dividing people into different aggressive camps. I can bet you that the people running these pages are hateful and want company in their misery and only interested in advancing their own dysfunctional worlds. Which is really scary.

In healthy relationships no matter the platform, do not beat others up for having a different opinion, it’s normal and OK to have your own opinion, it’s OK to disagree, it’s not OK to bully someone for a difference of opinion.

The Court of Opinion is far and wide and in every direction on the internet. We see this everywhere – divide and conquer – if you don’t follow what this group believes you are banished into blocked land forever never to return, sounds like a trigger for abandonment and those who are not sure of themselves with cower to the pressure of compliance and wanting to belong.

These are trolls and where the weak minded, bully infested, creeps live. They hide under fake guises of welcoming the open minded but only open minded that unquestionably agree with their agenda.

Take this as a warning: the Court of Public Opinion is not your opinion, if you are not sure of yourself and have the confidence to be yourself, strong in your own values and convictions, and live in a genuine way to your own life – you will be victimized by the Court of Public Opinion on a regular basis.

Don’t fall for the fake, be your own person with your own mind.

Question everything. If something does not resonate with you then walk away or run away.

Those who reject you because of your opinions are not for you, there are those who are like you , waiting in the wings to meet you where you are, go find them.

Thoughtful Thursday #264 – What Do You Believe.

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“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — C.G. Jung

We must become conscious of our beliefs and feelings going on in our minds or we cannot change or transform ourselves and our lives. If something said is repeated over and over it becomes real, but in many cases what was said is either outdated at this point.

If we want to live with meaning and purpose we must make a list of these beliefs and feelings and examine them and tear them apart and eliminate those that don’t resonate with our values.

When we act from outmoded beliefs and feelings we stay stuck and can’t do the necessary letting go so we can move on.

In my case, both my caregivers were mentally ill so I had many bizarre beliefs and feelings that did not make sense even at a young age, I was not self-aware for a long time until I was much older and could be a bit objective about those beliefs and worked with therapists.

Many beliefs we pick up during our lives are dysfunctional. They make us limited.

On a regular basis we must update our beliefs, what was true in the past may not apply now. We must find those very deep beliefs that are not very conscious and rip them out by the roots. This is not easy, it requires, courage, sticking with a therapist, and a commitment to your own self-care.

This uncovering is all about finding the truth, your truth, so you can live the best life that is unique to you. We want to be whole, we want our inner parts integrated, we want to be happy.

None is possible unless we care deeply for ourselves on a regular basis. You are so worth the effort and with this loving effort for yourself the transformation of your life is permanent.

Thoughtful Thursday #247 – What Does It Take To Recover From Trauma

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In a word – persistence. However, recovery from trauma is not a linear process, there are ups and downs, erroneous paths, false information, shady gurus, promises of instant recovery.

There are many recovery styles. Take you pick, affirmations, videos, reading books about other people’s journey, therapy, music, writing, art, exercise. You can add to the list. And not all with resonate with you. And that is OK.

This is where persistence comes in.

Do whatever it takes to restore your sense of safety and empowerment, clear headedness, and life’s path.

It may take a while but you are worth the effort and I guarantee that you will be happy with the results.

 

Lies People Believe Rather Than Believing Victims Of Abuse

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CynthiaBaileyRug

When a victim of abuse has proof of abuse, such as bruises or broken bones, that person is usually believed.  Sadly, the emotional warfare narcissists dish out doesn’t leave such obvious physical evidence behind, & many victims aren’t believed because of that.  As a result, victims are often re-victimized by people who don’t believe them, & who accuse them of exaggerating, lying, seeking attention or being the abuser who is trying to cover our tracks.  This often includes a victims own friends & family.

The excuses people give as to why they don’t believe a victim may sound plausible, but in reality, they aren’t.  This post shares some commonly used excuses.  I apologize in advance to those who find this post triggering or upsetting!  

“She is too nice.  I can’t imagine this sweet person abusing anyone!”  Abusers hide their cruel activities from everyone but their victim.  By acting “nice” around…

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The OTHER Serenity Prayer

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Intentergy

The Other Serenity Prayer“The Serenity Prayer” is one that I pray a lot. By “a lot” I mean, I have seriously considered tattooing it to my forearm because it is that much a part of my day.

Recently I found “The OTHER Serenity Prayer” on Pinterest.

It goes like this:

God, grand me the serenity to stop beating myself up for
not doing things perfectly,
the courage to forgive myself because I am working on doing better, and the wisdom to know that you already love me just the way I am.

What a perfect prayer!

If you feel like you are struggling with your own imperfections, say this prayer for yourself.

If there is someone in your life who could use a reminder that we are all works in progress, please share this with them.

I am grateful for the wisdom and understanding this prayer brings. Bring it to someone you love…

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Thoughtful Thursday #237 – Bad News Good News

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Bad News : trauma recovery work never ends. Trauma stays in your DNA, in your subconscious, in your dreams, in your worries, in your decision-making, in your choices. Trauma is embedded in your cells.

Good News : trauma recovery is indeed possible, trauma recovery is uncomfortable and our defenses will throw many distractions at us because they think it’s dangerous to feel. When we are ready and can sit with being uncomfortable without running away something happens. We become healed, because we didn’t run away, we allowed and trusted the organic process of feeling what we have avoided for so long and allowed the experience to fade away. Is recovery a simple linear process, not at all. The results are worth the effort.

Begin Again

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purelysimplewords

OK, you started something and didn’t finish it. You made a commitment and didn’t follow through. You promised something and totally forgot. You got down on yourself for not finishing, not following through and forgetting what was important.

Stop a moment. Without judgement…………………

Begin again at that project, begin again on that commitment, renew those promises.

Begin as many times as it takes, reorganize your methods, figure out what you don’t want to commit to.

There are no rules about beginnings and endings. You make your own rules. Begin as many times as it takes to do what you decide to do. Help yourself in creating your own life. Begin as many times as you need. It’s a perfectly OK thing to do.

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Thoughtful Thursday #229 – Step Away From The Mess

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Step away from generational family dysfunction.

Step away from emotionally dangerous and perverted people.

Step away from escaping the way you feel.

Step away from codependency.

Step away from tolerating the unacceptable.

Step away from self-doubt and sabotage.

 

Step Towards Yourself, Your Recovery, Your Self Acceptance, Your Wholeness, Your Healing, Your Opportunities, Your Wonderful Life.

Celebrate your success and know you have come very far already.

Listening

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Blast from the Past.

purelysimplewords

I don’t find it hard to hear my inner voice. I find it hard to follow its advice.

If I don’t listen then events go from mild irritation to full-blown chaos.

I can count many times there was chaos and for a very long time.

It is easier to ignore that inner voice than to follow its advice because I don’t want to make effort. Effort involves a commitment to action which leads to change. Change is scary and hard to do because of the uncertainty involved.

I find that when I do have the courage or stamina to follow its advice I win every time.

I guess practice makes perfect.

Happy listening.

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