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Thoughtful Thursdays # 157 – How To Move On

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My least favorite emotion is sadness; I cover it up with business but the sadness lies in my stomach. I know it is there because occasionally I feel sick to my stomach and I know I am not sick. This is my signal to watch for the sadness I am hiding.

You can’t refuse to feel any feeling because without feeling you will remain stuck. Once you feel the grief, or any other feeling, and process it you can move forward in a natural way.

Let yourself fall apart and allow some emotional time. I know it is easier said than done because of our survival belief that if I allow myself to feel grief, or any other emotion, I will be consumed by it and never come back. Actually that is just a fear, you will survive.

Mourn your losses and grieve your pain. It’s time to move on.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays # 156 – Humility

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I am not going to preach to you about being humble and lowly. Nope, there is nothing lowly about being humble.

Humble means you are willing to say I don’t know everything. Humble means you are willing to figure stuff out instead of blaming. Humble means you are willing to learn something new. Humble means you move aside your ego and become engaged in problem solving.

Is it easy? Nope. It’s uncomfortable but so worth the effort because you no longer have to stay where you are unhappy.

Give it a try. Be humble enough to get down to learning something new and changing for the better.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #138 – Healers

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I met a young lady the other day who is a fantastic artist, empathetic and intelligent.  She already has a degree in psychology and is now going to nursing school. I suggested she become an Art Therapist because she has the appropriate background or art and psychology. I was excited to see that she would be a perfect fit for the job of a healer.

Alas it went in one ear and out the other. I don’t know why but I think she is looking to make her family happy and not herself.

We are all on the same journey of healing ourselves from living someone else’s wishes for us. Albeit they may be good wishes or bad wishes but are these decisions authentic for who we are?

If you have a nagging feeling that the life you created is not what you really want then healing is necessary. Heal yourself by eliminating what you don’t need. Start short shifts in your thinking and actions. Know that it may not be clear to you at the moment where this healing will lead, but trust that you can handle it. Get quiet and hear your higher self.

You are the best healer in your own life. No one else’s opinion or approval matters. Just yours.

Heal Away……………..

Thoughtful Thursdays #136 – I Just Want To Be Normal

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I don’t remember a good ninety percent of my childhood but I do remember that horrible ten percent. It’s not normal to have this type of amnesia. Once I left my home at eighteen my behavior was erratic and violent and dangerous. I had no idea what was going on. I did know that something was wrong. When I got to be in my twenties I started having panic attacks so I went to therapy. It didn’t help. I went on living but radically isolated myself to only a few people.

I just wanted to be normal. I looked for that normalcy outside of myself for a long time. That didn’t work either.

That ninety percent of not remembering represented some serious trauma. I have always known it but it has taken many years and much searching to gradually feel the trauma in my body and in voices in my head that need to be heard.

I had to learn radical compassion for myself. I had to re-parent myself. I had to grieve what might have been. I had to twist myself into untying the knots of the invisible trauma caught in my body.

I am still working on myself because self-development is an ongoing process. I am now normal in my own way. I have learned to take care of myself like no one else can.

Isn’t that the way life is supposed to be? Having that fundamental fondness and friendship for yourself?

Never give up on yourself, keep trying to find a way to be your normal. You have every resource you need to blossom and it is never too late.

I believe you can do it because little old me did it. Never give up ………………ever.

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #135 – Defiance

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When I was young I was never allowed to have an opinion or speak up. I carried that belief for a long time. As I got older I got better and better at defying that belief. There have been many times I have had the opportunity to speak up on many issues of injustice.

My suggestion for you today is to defy those inner beliefs that hold you back, are not helpful, or down right dangerous and painful.

You owe it to yourself to be defiant and take back your true self. You are worth every ounce of effort to stick up for what makes you who you are.

Be defiant to the point of selfishness because life has a way of distracting. Keep going back to being defiant. With time you will eventually stay true to who you are meant to be, not someones else’s opinion of who you are supposed to be.

In case no one told you: It’s OK to be yourself.

Happy Living.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #134 – Trauma

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Via Google:

trau·ma
a deeply distressing or disturbing experience
And that is putting it mildly. The causes of trauma are endless. From the rudeness of someones thoughtless words to seriously invading your personal space. The symptoms of trauma range from mild distress to all out war.
But what about the  everyday people who have had a trauma experience? We become the walking wounded. Still functioning but with that unnameable uneasiness just below the surface of our awareness. We don’t know what it is but we know we are uncomfortable.
Trauma happens sometimes and relief comes when we take a look at our thoughts. What is the belief? Am I functioning from fear as a result of trauma? Are your relationships failing? Do you have trust issues? Add your own questions.
You can trust yourself to find the answers and try some good quality self-care like meditation or therapy and surrounding yourself with positive people and situations.
You are worth every effort in finding relief from trauma and renewed happiness. You deserve to heal. It will take some time but keep seeking what you need to heal and move forward in spite of trauma.

Thoughtful Thursdays #132 – Taking Care of Yourself

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It’s the easiest thing to get distracted with day to day activities and forget about yourself.

Here’s some simple things to do:

  1. Drink more water.
  2. Take the stairs.
  3. Seek out positive people.
  4. Meditate
  5. Avoid mood altering substances.
  6. Sleep
  7. Write
  8. Do art.
  9. Listen to Music.
  10. Be Peaceful.

Feel free to add more. It’s your time and your life. You are worth the effort.

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 130 A Work In Progress

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Your life is a work in progress.

It is the process of uncovering your own natural essence. You will uncover who you are and how you feel. Your mind and heart will open and what you need will come to you if you stay open to your own essence.

In being open you will realize, beyond doubt, that you already have everything you need. Intelligence, wisdom and goodness. That’s all you really need.

If you feel uncomfortable being open then you are on the right track. It’s a new skill.

Keep practicing. You have everything you need.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays – #127

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The path to self discovery cannot be found in a crowd. A crowd is the opposite of self. Self if just me and a crowd is a group.

If  I am to find my own path I must stand alone, which is uncomfortable. Uncomfortable because there is no crowd to hide in. I will feel groundless because are no guideposts, I will feel unsure because I must make my own decisions. I will feel insecure because I have to inspire myself.

And that is OK. It means you will grow to a well-rounded individual. You will become an inspiration to others. You will be strong enough to stick to your decisions.

Your path is to know who you are in all aspects, your thoughts, words, actions. Your path is in the things you love and the things you hate. Your path is to stand alone and not follow the crowd because the crowd has its own journey. Following the crowd is the easy way out of the uncomfortable work of finding your own path.

It’s OK to bounce from here to there and not really knowing which way is your way.

It’s supposed to be that way. Your job is to look for the signs. If it doesn’t work move away from it. Start of the beginning again. It’s OK. It’s supposed to be that way. Look for your own answers. If something doesn’t fit with you get rid of it.

Once I heard a story about a woman who cut off the end of her ham before she cooked it. Her husband asked why she did that. Her reply was because that was the way her mother always cooked ham. The husband suggested they ask why the mother did this. The mother replied because the ham didn’t fit her roasting pan.

Have you unconsciously absorbed someone elses way of doing things.

What do you want, what do you need to make your life interesting? Whatever it is take the steps to change. It’s well worth it and you don’t need to explain your actions to anyone.

It’s your life. Make the best of it.

Thoughtful Thursdays # 120 – When You Were Little You Believed Some False Stuff

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When you were little you learned lots of stuff. How to play and cooperate and dream. However, if you have had a childhood you have had a trauma. What happens when there is neglect and harassment and trauma?

All memories are held in your body. Your mind does not have to recall exact situations but your body will remember. For example, have you ever heard, smelled or tasted something reminiscent of the past? Did it make you sick to your stomach or happy? Those are held memories in your body.

At some point, if situations are too much, your mind may shut down to protect you. Your body will remember seeing your pet killed. Your body will remember verbal abuse. Your body will remember everything that had a negative impact. Your mind will see something similar to the trauma experienced and you will feel it in your body.

Any belief about abuse being normal is never true. The person doing the abuse believes that its OK to abuse. That is a false belief. The child takes on the belief that they deserve to be abused. That is a false belief. These false beliefs become intrinsic as if they are normal and true. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The truth is if your life is less than desirable and you are stuck, examine your beliefs. Look for an experienced trauma therapist. Find it in yourself to learn why you make the choices that you do.

One of the simplest free ways of healing is to listen to mediation videos or music. There’s plenty on youtube.com and with the help of a therapist you will transcend false beliefs and live a much happier life.