Category Archives: All Posts

Jan31

Thoughtful Thursday #245 – Internalizing Emotional Pain

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Internalized emotional pain is personal slavery and a prim and proper intimate prison in your mind. It’s where we have been triggered and swallowed emotional pain for any number of reasons. Maybe we have been betrayed by someone you trusted, or out of the blue you were the target of cruelty, perhaps you have been the object of someone’s dysfunctional projections, and the result is you feel a life situation has crushed you.

We can recognize how we have internalized emotional pain. We have excessive worry, over indulge in social media, phantom physical sensations, venting at others expense, wanting to retaliate, self-destructive behaviors, your self-esteem is nowhere in sight, there’s a presence of anxiety, sadness, and social isolation, we blow up over nothing.

This is a painful way to live, very painful, I understand how it feels, and no one is immune internalizing emotional pain.

If you are struggling with sorting out emotional pain, hang in there, initially the pain may be  too much, that’s OK, take some time to process what has happened.

Practice self-care: acknowledge what happened, save yourself from further pain, summon up compassion for yourself, internalizing emotional pain does not make you tough, confrontation may be appropriate but do it with a calm voice, find someone who will listen to you unconditionally, write it out on a piece of paper, write every last emotion and detail, find whatever you need to bring a sense of groundedness and peace back to your mind,  look within yourself for an answer that works for you.

In time the pain will pass, that’s the beauty of time and self-care and perhaps you will learn that you are really very strong and can be grow internally and handle the next situation with self-protection and authority as the mighty, capable person that your are.

 

Jan25

Thoughtful Thursdays #197 – Art

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Art can be many things, for example, like painting, writing, singing, cooking, fashion, music, etc. Creativity in the arts is subjective. The beauty or chaos of the creation belongs to the beholder.

There is a place in this world for everyone’s creations. There is someone or many someones that will resonate with what you create. Whether it’s a painting or an article or a cake, there will be those that love it.

Therefore, as creative creatures we must never give up in creating and sharing our creations with the world at large. Share your creations on a blog, on Facebook, your family, friends or neighbors. Share what you have, someone needs to see it, perhaps to brighten their day.

And if you get a negative remark on your creation, just brush it off. Remarks are from those who are either jealous, out of touch with the beauty in any creation, or just plain miserable. Don’t let that bring you down. Keep creating and keep showing.

The world needs your creativity.

 

Oct26

Thoughtful Thursdays #184 – Inner World – Outer World

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We all have an inner and outer world. In our head there are so many thoughts and voices it’s hard to identify which way is the most effective way.

We all have an outer world that reflects your inner world. The mess, confusion, the paralysis.

How to get the both in sync is to find your way of grounding yourself.

To start: In whatever task you are doing direct your thoughts to the present moment.

For example: I am washing the dishes, I am cutting an onion, I am driving my car, I am walking the dog. Bring attention to your breathing. Let the thoughts come with no judgement. Don’t judge yourself either.

The idea is to get out of your head for a little while and find a sense of peace away from racing thoughts and impulsive actions.

Your inner world and outer world will thank you for the peace.

Jul20

Thoughtful Thursdays # 171 – You Are So Crazy

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I have been told that many times when I speak up for myself. I refuse to be mistreated. Period.

I find those who do attempt to mistreat me are showing me their true feelings about themselves. Which is not my problem. I remind them of their own unresolved issues. The haters will try to destroy me because I have the courage to be me. And they don’t have that courage.

I will not allow anyone to crush my voice. I am the lucky one who is awake enough to live my own authentic life.

You can live an authentic life too. Let no one bury you in shame or hate or confusion. Your voice and way of being is not easy but so worth fighting for and the bonus is you are a guiding light for someone else.

Let’s celebrate being the Crazy One, the Unique One, the Courageous One, the Happy One.

Carry on.

Jun8

Thoughtful Thursdays # 166 – Roles

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We all play a number of roles during the day. Co-worker, parent, helper, listener, child, adult etc.

We play so many roles we forget to authentic.

We are authentic when we are truly ourselves with no fear of judgement.

It’s better to be your honest self because you will be happier and a better role model for others to be authentic too.

May25

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 165 – Therapy

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Therapy – a scary word to some, the sound of relief to others. Seems extreme, doesn’t it?

For those who have no experience with therapy, it must seem strange, unusual, for losers. Those are the ones who are scared and not willing to do the hard, exhausting work of being aware.

For those who have some experience and left too soon gave into resistance. They were about to have a breakthrough but chickened out.

There are those that are curious and search different types of therapy as an easy way of quick fixing their mental health. But this is not really helpful.

For those who have many years of therapy  learn that the hard work of changing yourself is worth the blood, sweat and tears of awareness. I am not saying this happens all the time. Sometimes the change is subtle and on a subconscious level.

I advocate therapy because you have one person who is your die-hard ally who is interested in only you and your life. Therapists are mostly compassionate and caring and possibly give you the time, attention and care you may never had. If you are willing to be honest about how you feel to another trusted human being you will be transformed. At times it won’t be easy and that’s OK. There is no rush and no judgement. Just acceptance.

It takes just a little trust and courage to open up in a safe setting. We cannot heal in isolation, we need at least one person who is detached and objective to believe and validate us. Give it a try. You will uncover the truth of your life and you just may like it.

 

 

Jan26

Thoughtful Thursdays #150 – Talking To Myself

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It is my opinion and experience that there are many parts to me. In a schizophrenic way we are all made up of many internal parts to greater or lesser degrees. We have the part that we show to the everyday world, a part that is the child, the part that is wounded, the love seeker, the angry one and many others. How do we know who is out and who isn’t?

If you feel stuck and frustrated there is probably and internal conflict going on between your inner parts.

The fastest way to figure out what you are thinking is to write. Sit down with a pen or at your computer and bang out what you are thinking and feeling. This will allow your inner parts a voice. At some point you will experience a window of space, of expansiveness where you will be insightful. This happened because you allowed your inner parts a voice and they get quiet. This type of writing is done frequently. The more you write from your inner parts the better you feel and more likely to change for the better.

You are worth the time and effort it takes to learn about yourself. It’s time to grow.

Dec8

Thoughtful Thursdays – #145 Beliefs

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Beliefs are a big thing. It’s also and unconscious big thing. We don’t even realize what we believe. Are our beliefs internalized by our environment? Or based on trauma? Or accumulated by social interactions?

Beliefs are formed in these ways and many others. You won’t know what your beliefs are until you examine what you do believe. This is not easy. We do behaviors usually by habit. Beliefs are a habit too.

For this moment think about your beliefs. Are they helpful? Are they hurtful? Are you allowing or not allowing all life experiences to come into your life so you can grow or are you hiding behind some false belief?

Do you believe you are an important part of life? Because you are important. You deserve all of life’s good stuff. Sometimes our beliefs get in the way.

Next time you feel a resistance to an experience take a look if it’s your belief. You might be surprised that it is a false belief.

It’s OK to get rid of those outdated beliefs.  Do it as soon as possible.

Nov18

Thoughtful Thursdays #142 – Anxiety

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Everyone has anxiety at one time or another. Anxiety can come up unexpectedly or with good reason. No one is immune to its effects. There is a secret to ridding your self of anxiety.

Anxiety is actually not an emotion.

Anxiety is a response to hidden emotions.

What is the hidden emotion that you are afraid of feeling? Usually anxiety is brought about by thoughts. When the thoughts get too uncomfortable anxiety takes over. Sometimes we aren’t ready to examine our thoughts and emotions and that is OK. Eventually when the anxiety becomes too much we must take the time to feel what we are running away from.

You may bet uncomfortable but the more you practice examining what you are thinking the better you will feel.