Therapy – a scary word to some, the sound of relief to others. Seems extreme, doesn’t it?
For those who have no experience with therapy, it must seem strange, unusual, for losers. Those are the ones who are scared and not willing to do the hard, exhausting work of being aware.
For those who have some experience and left too soon gave into resistance. They were about to have a breakthrough but chickened out.
There are those that are curious and search different types of therapy as an easy way of quick fixing their mental health. But this is not really helpful.
For those who have many years of therapy learn that the hard work of changing yourself is worth the blood, sweat and tears of awareness. I am not saying this happens all the time. Sometimes the change is subtle and on a subconscious level.
I advocate therapy because you have one person who is your die-hard ally who is interested in only you and your life. Therapists are mostly compassionate and caring and possibly give you the time, attention and care you may never had. If you are willing to be honest about how you feel to another trusted human being you will be transformed. At times it won’t be easy and that’s OK. There is no rush and no judgement. Just acceptance.
It takes just a little trust and courage to open up in a safe setting. We cannot heal in isolation, we need at least one person who is detached and objective to believe and validate us. Give it a try. You will uncover the truth of your life and you just may like it.
Inspired by the book: The Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying” I was reading about Tonglen Meditation. It is mostly about compassion.
Compassion is one of my favorite subjects. How do we have compassion? How is it beneficial?
1. Remember a time when you felt deep love, just remember the feeling. Or read something that invokes the feeling. Stay with it and extend it to yourself, environment, friends, loved ones and even your enemies.
2. Remember that others are the same as you are. We all want happiness and be free from suffering.
3. Put yourself in the other persons place. We all bleed suffering the same way.
4. Actions speak louder than words. If it is possible try to help others in a practical way.
All beings everywhere suffer, let your heart go out them. Compassion is greater that pity. Honor those who suffer.
You are no better or greater than anyone else. Dedicate your positive actions for the welfare of others.
It will benefit all beings and return to you ten fold.
What ever you do, don’t try and escape from your pain, but be with it. Because any attempt to escape is what creates more pain.
From the Tibeten Book of Living and Dying.
I saw a short video with Dr. Gabor Mate and he mentioned this quote and it brings to mind how true it is.
We cannot cleanse what we ingnore, or run away from. It is most difficult to face pain alone. There is no way to bite the bullet or buckle down. The easiest and fastest way to heal is not in isolation. It is with other people, those who are interested in your well being. Whether it be a trusted friend or therapist – compassion is the catalyst. The healer. It is compassionate to take an interest in your own life. There are plenty of others who want you to heal too.
Find them, they are looking for you too.
I ran into a friend today who I have not seen in a long time. He was really upset and visibly shaken.
His life is falling apart with problems. He feels lost and humiliated. His thoughts are out of control with grief.
We spoke at length about the situation and I told him how sorry I was for his burden of losses. There was nothing else I could do but stand there and listen.
As soon as he left I turned to continue my journey. I realized I have been so consumed with my own battles with grief that I did not step away and see that my problems could be a lot worse.
I feel sorry and compassion for him and must thank him for the reminder that I really don’t have it that bad.
There is a saying: If everyone put their troubles on a table you would take your own back. This is true.
Step back from your own thoughts and know that you have the exact challenges you need to grow now. You are where you are supposed to be now. You are learning now. No trouble last forever. When the chaos stops you will be even better.
I realized something profound today. I was blamed as the cause of someones pain. I don’t remember causing this person so much pain. Even though I don’t remember I am willing to accept the blame 100% because it frees them. It brings them freedom to get rid of a burden and move forward.
This the most compassionate thing I can do.
I will cease being defensive and accept this persons
pain. I offer my pain and theirs for all that suffer
the same problems.