There are a number of attachment styles that people adopt. Anxious, Avoidant, Secure, Dismissive. These are the four major styles, You can look up the details on Google.
Attachment injuries come from mostly from family of origin issues.
How do you know you have an attachment issue, your relationships are not working, you feel invisible, you are not getting your needs met, you are allowing others to sabotage and abuse you somehow.
This is heavy stuff so I want to share an expert Attachment Trauma, relationship coach and Psychotherapist Alan Robarge, Here’s a video explaining this issue.
Hope you find it healing.
Most of the United States is on lock down to flatten the curve of the Coronavirus.
Please follow the authorities directive, it could save your life.
In the meantime if you are anxious and fearful and concerned about your mental health please reach out to a mental health professional. Check in your area or call your local hospital for a referral. Or find resources online.
Stay home, if you don’t feel well reach out to a doctor. This will all be over in a few weeks.
I hope all of you are well and stay well.
According to Google: trauma recovery is: in general recovery is the ability to live in the present without being overwhelmed by the thoughts and feelings of the past. Central to the experience of trauma is helplessness, isolation and the loss of power and control. The guiding principles of trauma recovery are the restoration of safety and empowerment.
Here’s an excellent article from Psychology Today giving more information and insight into recovery. Hope it helps.
This is a therapy model created by Dr. Richard Schwartz and he wrote a book on it. I personally have benefitted from this model and I am passing this miracle of transformation to you. It’s the premise that we are all split into different personalities based on good times and traumatic times and how we are not fully integrated. It is similar to multiple personalities but the difference between being a multiple and non integrated is that a multiple has no awareness of its various parts whereas someone who is not fully intergrated is aware. For example, have you ever done something stupid and said to yourself “why did I do that?’ It’s because there is a part who based on it’s past acted out.
Everyone on the planet is not fully integrated because we all have issues. It does not matter where the issues came from, what is important is that we heal them and the Internal Family System is very helpful. I encourage you to check it out for yourself.
Here’s an article from betterhelp.com that explains the Internal Family system.
A very helpful FB page is “Beating Trauma with Elisabeth Corey” is based closely to the IFS model too.
Also watch the children’s movie “Inside Out” it is based on this model.
Here’s a link explaining the movie.
Inside Out, The Internal Family Systems Model, And The Kars4Kids Jingle
There is nothing more important than our mental and physical health. Take advantage of all resources in growing as the whole person you are meant to be.
This poster is from the Gottman Institute on how to process difficult emotions. This poster is just another tool in your toolbox for promoting good mental health.
It is so frustrating going from relationship to relationship, all kinds of relationships that don’t work, jobs, friends, significant others, over and over. There is an answer.
At some point you learned unhealthy thought and action patterns from repeated emotional and/or physical abuse learned as love.
As a result we recreate those primary relationships so we can heal them and make us feel better in return. It doesn’t work, we repeat the patterns unconsciously, and you may need great mindfulness and therapy.
Dr. Tracey Marks, psychiatrist, has made an informative video about this subject. Please watch it, you will find truth and healing.
Feeling blue this Valentines Day because you are single, that is perfectly normal.
But Valentine’s day is more than romantic love, it’s about self love and love of your friends, children, significant others, those who make your life better, or whatever you are passionate about.
Do you, buy yourself a gift, go out with a couple, go on a vacation that you want, explore new destinations, talk to strangers, go to a social function alone, relish who you are.
Romantic love shows up quicker the more you know yourself. No one can resist a person who is confident and strong in standing on their own.
So this Valentines Day, let it be a reminder that self love is really the first love you ever need.
Happy Do You Day………………..
Resistance is an unwillingness to deal in any way with uncomfortable psychological stuff.
Sometimes we are aware of our resistance but many times the resistance is totally unconscious.
Perhaps we know there is something off in the way we feel but can’t figure out what it is.
There are ways of finding and uncovering what is hidden in the subconscious.
- find a therapist you feel comfortable with.
- research mental health.
- write, write, write, you will feel resistance but write anyway.
- look at cat videos, no really do activities that make you happy.
- do more of what makes you proud of yourself.
It’s time to recover your true self, and this is a lifelong journey, there are no quick fixes in self care. You will always need to take care of yourself, time will pass so you might as well start now.
You are worth it.
Resistance comes in many forms, such as avoidance, addiction, distraction, forgetting, repression, transference, compulsion etc.
We use these forms of resistance because of anxiety.
Behind the anxiety is a fear.
It’s a simple formula to remember, find the fear and the anxiety and resistance goes away, but so very hard to apply.
The answer to uncovering what you are resisting is in finding a safe way of expressing what you are thinking, For example, writing, a therapy that resonates with you, a support group are all safe to start with.
The idea is to find those small moments of clarity, moments of joy will return, and you will be ever so closer to the grounded adult self you need to be.
Let me preface this saying that I have been a proud Rebel for most of my life. I am not kidding. My caregivers were so mentally ill that I had to fend for myself for a long time. I learned not to get swept up in their insanity by keeping true to what I knew was reality. Was living that like easy. Nope, it was very hard until I eventually moved away from that insanity.
Here’s what I learned about being a rebel and how you can become one too.
- Stay in your truth no matter how hard it is.
2. Live your unique life on your terms not matter how it looks to others.
3. Put a boundary up against those who will try to drag you down.
4. When you hear feedback that you always do things your way and don’t care about anything else, you know you are on the right track.
Bonus: It’s your life, make it resoundingly pleasant for you and then everything else will fall into place.
You are worth the time and effort in living fully.
Carry on you adorable REBEL.