Tag Archives: compassionate

Jan8

We All Have Schizophrenia

Posted on by
Standard

This is going to sound strange but yes we are all schizophernic to one degree or another.

Google Definition:

schiz·o·phre·ni·a
ˌskitsəˈfrēnēə,ˌskitsəˈfrenēə/Submit
noun
a long-term mental disorder of a type involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behavior, leading to faulty perception, inappropriate actions and feelings, withdrawal from reality and personal relationships into fantasy and delusion, and a sense of mental fragmentation.
(in general use) a mentality or approach characterized by inconsistent or contradictory elements.

For example, we can have a mental disorder that leads to breakdown in thought, emotion and behavior when we fall in love or  have murderous rage.

Inappropriate actions and feelings can come from having our egos brused and wishing death and destruction to the offender and acting on those feelings. These are common stories in the news paper.

Withdrawal from reality in relationships can come from going into denial that you may be in a bad relationship, job, etc.

Inconsistent or contradictory elements can come from being frozen with indecision that you are paralized.

I am not negating the severity of schizophrenia but we all have different aspects of ourselves.

We can be the parent, the child, the protector, the killer, the compassionate one or more. Pay attention to how you behave in your interactions in your daily routine. These aspects will become visible if you pay attention.

We are a blend of aspects in our psyche and that is normal. Some aspects are more pronounced than others. Sometimes we are mostly sweet or angry, sad or outgoing or any other role. We all have flashes of insight and can choose whatever behavior we want.

It is our job to accept all aspects of ourselves and deny nothing. In this way we are in touch with our humanity and the humanity of others.

Happy exploring.

 

Nov19

Emotional Maturity VS Emotional Immaturity

Posted on by
Standard

First let’s identify what emotional immaturity is:

1. Moody most of the time
2. Demanding that others cater to their every whim
3. Irresponsibility, not dependable, easily influenced by others
4. Feeling not good enough and gives up easily
5. Violent, blaming, reckless
6. Fearful, easily offended, insensitive, inconsiderate
7. Cynical, unstable, complains

Second let’s identify what emotional maturity is:

1. Flexable, result oriented, determined
2. Composed, peaceful, makes effort to be cooperative
3. Has values, humble, has goals
4. Able to face uncomfortable and frustrating situations
5. Compassionate, kind, happy, patient
7. Aware of how their behavior impacts others

Your emotions give energy to the mind. Emotions are your feelings that can manifest into physical results. You can decide to hurt or care for others with is energy. You can develop new behavior with creative thinking, strong decisions and self-discipline.

We have been programed and conditioned since we were children to be mature or immature, so start by examining your behavior. What have lies have you absorbed about yourself? Change for the better can only come from awareness. Your behavior is an indication of where you are stuck in certain emotions or where your are free in certain emotions. Feel your feelings. The best way to overcome being stuck is to sit with being uncomfortable.

Feelings are not permanent, feelings are temporary, they come and go all the time. Where are your weak areas? Make the determination to work on those areas. Choose your responses. Choose to be aware and awake, don’t sleep walk your life.

Emotional Maturity is learned. It is the ability to choose your responses. It is the best way to have a happy life.

Nov6

Thoughtful Thursdays # 73 – Emotional Pain

Posted on by
Standard

What ever you do, don’t try and escape from your pain, but be with it. Because any attempt to escape is what creates more pain.

From the Tibeten Book of Living and Dying.

I saw a short video with Dr. Gabor Mate and he mentioned this quote and it brings to mind how true it is.

We cannot cleanse what we ingnore, or run away from. It is most difficult to face pain alone. There is no way to bite the bullet or buckle down. The easiest and fastest way to heal is not in isolation. It is with other people, those who are interested in your well being. Whether it be a trusted friend or therapist – compassion is the catalyst. The healer. It is compassionate to take an interest in your own life. There are plenty of others who want you to heal too.

Find them, they are looking for you too.

Jul6

Detachment And Other Stuff

Posted on by
Standard

I had a disappointing situation this weekend. I had wonderful plans that were thoughtlessly canceled.  That led me to spiral down the all too familiar slippery slopes of despair. The disappointment was a reminder of a  past belief that no one can be trusted. That is something that drives me crazy: someone you can”t trust. Say what you mean and mean what you say. But was that belief the truth?

I tried to find a way to cope with the situation. Especially since  I have a tendency to over react at times like these by turning my emotions viciously into gut wrenching personal attacks on myself.

I needed to stop. It took about half a day of ping ponging between being furious at not having control over the situation to remembering I need to detach to get perspective.

Detachment , to me, is allowing situations unfold or fold up in their own given time. I am reminded that it is not my timing that make things work out for the best. It is not my controlling or fussing that makes things go any faster.  However I find waiting  really frustrating. I want things my way and now. Well, that is the nasty co dependent, needy side of me speaking.

The nasty co dependent, needy side of me reeks havoc on my life and relationships and especially my thoughts. Co dependency is a product of my past but still alive and well living in the outskirts of my subconscious, waiting to destroy what ever I perceive as a hurt.

What is the truth behind all of this?

1. It is my beliefs and thoughts that are causing my own grief. Yes, I have the right to be disappointed but having my thoughts whirl around like a squirrel in a cage is maddening and extremely unhelpful.

2. Things don’t always go as planned. I forgot this one. Sometimes it’s just a matter of a misunderstanding and perhaps a readjustment. Or not the right time. Or not in my best interest.

3. I can’t control what others do. It is not the end of the world if someone disappoints me. Other peoples poor behavior is a reflection on them not on me.

4. People are not always loving all the time. This is an opportunity to say Ouch at the disappointment but remain open, peaceful and hopeful with the situation.

5. Time always reveals the truth behind what ever is going on, whether I  like it or not.

6. All situations are mirrors of what I need to take a look at. Interactions with others bring up feelings. Believe it or not people don’t cause feelings. The feelings that come up belong to me.

I ask these questions:

What would it be like if I made the effort not to think about these perceived offences?

What would it be like if I made the effort to stop the rushing negative thoughts?

What would it be like if I said yes to everything as a form of acceptance?

What would it be like if I practiced being really strong for myself for a change?

What would it be like  if I made the effort to improve only my life by examining my own behavior?

What would it be like if I remembered just how darn lucky I am to realize that all situations are unfolding as they need to?

What would it be like if I remembered just how lucky I am to change myself?

I know that as time passes my feelings will subside and clarity will come forward. I will learn what I need to learn and move on. If I have not learned the lesson a similar situation will come up and I will be given the chance to examine myself again.

It is my good fortune and luck to be awake and aware enough not to crawl under a rock and hide from life’s ups and downs.

It is my good fortune and luck to not hide behind any distraction and sit with the pain however uncomfortable it is.

It is compassionate and rewarding to experience suffering to understand what others might experience. Here is the miracle of connection.

From my suffering I can relate to another’s suffering. I know the comfort I need so I can comfort another.

How fortunate to get to the point of letting it go. That does not mean I am not disappointed. I am just not going to invest any more emotional energy on it. I am releasing my attention to what happened.

Here is the crux of the situation. The arduous climb, the crucial point. Here is my chance to mature and be a positive influence to the world at large.

I thank all that were involved in aggravating me. This is another chance for me to get to know who I am.

You are my teacher and I am truly grateful.