Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and many share their love and enthusiasm for our families, lovers, friends.
Let’s not forget to give a big Valentines to ourselves. After all we are very important too. Here’s some helpful ways to love yourself.
- Stop calling yourself names. eg. I am such a jerk.
- Stop thinking about the worst case scenario. eg. The world will end if I say the wrong thing.
- Identify negative beliefs you have about yourself and get rid of them. eg. I am a really bad cook.
- Rewrite and reframe your internal dialog. eg. I am a good dancer.
- Celebrate yourself. It’s OK to give yourself a reward.
- Visit a therapist. Self examination is healing.
- Support yourself with positive self talk.
Every day is a chance to take good care of yourself and be your own Valentine.
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
Art can be many things, for example, like painting, writing, singing, cooking, fashion, music, etc. Creativity in the arts is subjective. The beauty or chaos of the creation belongs to the beholder.
There is a place in this world for everyone’s creations. There is someone or many someones that will resonate with what you create. Whether it’s a painting or an article or a cake, there will be those that love it.
Therefore, as creative creatures we must never give up in creating and sharing our creations with the world at large. Share your creations on a blog, on Facebook, your family, friends or neighbors. Share what you have, someone needs to see it, perhaps to brighten their day.
And if you get a negative remark on your creation, just brush it off. Remarks are from those who are either jealous, out of touch with the beauty in any creation, or just plain miserable. Don’t let that bring you down. Keep creating and keep showing.
The world needs your creativity.
Ever wonder why you have certain beliefs that you stubbornly refuse to unbelieve? Eg. Only my religion is the right one.
Which ideas do you believe are true? Eg. All electronic equipment is reliable.
How many beliefs fall into the broad generalization category? Eg. All women can sew and all men can fix a car.
Is the belief based on emotion or evidence or did you swallow a second-hand opinion.
Self-examination of our beliefs is one true path to freedom. But be warned. It is not the easiest.
Snow blizzards can be a lot of fun.
Blizzard Ice Cream from Dairy Queen is fun.
But a blizzard of whirling uncontrollable thoughts is not fun.
It’s frustrating and scary. To stop those windy wizard of flurry, pirouetting, gyrating confusing thoughts, here are a few grounding suggestions.
- Count your breath slowly.
- Listen to Music.
- Do some art.
- Redirect your thoughts momentarily.
- Write it out uncensored.
- Watch your thoughts and let them go.
That should keep you busy for a while and help slow the blizzard of thoughts to a balmy breeze.
In between Christmas and New Years there is time to reflect on the year past.
In between January 1 and December 31 there is time to examine out beliefs.
In between today and tomorrow there is time to reverse a bad habit.
In between now and tomorrow there is time to make a new plan.
In between your two ears there is your brain to think.
In between you and me there is no difference.
In between like minded souls there is healing.
My heartfelt wish for you in 2018 is healing, peace and finding your heart’s desire.
HAPPY NEW YEAR
If your heart is beating, if your lungs are breathing, if you are still alive… then it is not too late to do something kind, creative, generous, satisfying, and courageous. Today.
It is not too late to behave like the person you want to be — instead of continuing in a cycle of behavior that you will regret.
You might feel sleepy. It might be tough. It could seem preferable to just sit this one out.
Today is not over yet.
There are some pretty scary emotions that we run from. Our minds race with one disaster after another. Our society almost demands that we let it go and move on from tragedy or trauma. Letting go and moving on is not possible if we smother the very emotions we need to move closer to. Emotions like fear, abandonment, isolation and worthlessness.
Move closer to the parts of you that you exiled. Move closer to the very emotions that scare you. Move closer to approval for all strange events you survived. Move closer to being curious about your behavior. Move closer to the parts that are so hard to accept and love. Move closer to having compassion and kindness for yourself. Move closer to being intimate with our own courage. Move closer to deeply knowing who you are because you can’t help anyone else without helping yourself first.
It won’t be easy but so worth the effort. Your thinking will become more integrated and grounded. And an important perk to this effort is you will become more productive, understanding and confident.
We all have an inner and outer world. In our head there are so many thoughts and voices it’s hard to identify which way is the most effective way.
We all have an outer world that reflects your inner world. The mess, confusion, the paralysis.
How to get the both in sync is to find your way of grounding yourself.
To start: In whatever task you are doing direct your thoughts to the present moment.
For example: I am washing the dishes, I am cutting an onion, I am driving my car, I am walking the dog. Bring attention to your breathing. Let the thoughts come with no judgement. Don’t judge yourself either.
The idea is to get out of your head for a little while and find a sense of peace away from racing thoughts and impulsive actions.
Your inner world and outer world will thank you for the peace.
Road rage is never about the traffic incident, it’s about underlying, unresolved anger that is misplaced.
Over reacting to any situation is usually about unresolved hurt, anger, oppression or any other uncomfortable feeling of frustration.
I am not minimizing that a particular event like road rage is not meaningful.
These trigger events are meaningful because they show you where you have been hiding, and not dealing with uncomfortable stuff.
These trigger events are your reminder of where you are not looking to be healed.
These trigger events are your teachers.
These trigger events are monumental in transforming your life.
Look where you are hurting, go to the places that make you uncomfortable, be willing to be curious about what is triggering you.
You may have to change some stuff: do you need to remove yourself from a situation, do you need to protect yourself, do you need to have a difficult conversation. Then by all means do it, it’s going to hurt temporarily, but you will be so much better off in the long run.
Welcome Road Rage and any other Rage into your life. It’s the place you need to change something.
I am not talking about being generous with huge donations of time and money and goods. I am talking about generosity with the small things that are so meaningful.
Listening with full attention, giving a supportive hug, saying kind and reassuring words, giving of your labor, making time for someone who needs you, holding a door, spend the day being courteous to everyone, in the face of conflict or differing opinions stay calm and don’t react, finding in your heart to do no harm with your words or actions.
These are just a few incognito generous actions you can take. You will end up helping someone else and feeling so much more accomplished as a human being.
Carry on you lovely generous being.