Tag Archives: courage

Thoughtful Thursday #274 – Mass Murder and Mental Health

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There are many Mass Murderers in recent history who murder lots of innocent people. Their methods of murder vary.

These actions are typical of a walking wounded adult child. This behavior may have be a last ditch effort to ease the psychological pain the person endured their entire life. Or perhaps their mind is so twisted from the ongoing dysfunction of a pathological household they actually enjoy hurting as many people as possible, or maybe they are not in touch with their own humanity and feel justified in this heinous actions.These actions are caused from poor mental health.

I am sure there are red flags in this type of self absorbed behavior for a very long time. However no one came forward to report concerns to the authorities.

Normal people don’t go around destroying others, it’s a simple fact.

Mental health is the number one concern next to physical health to live in this fast moving world.  the The need for mental health information and practical resources must come into the public view more readily to end these useless acts of violence.

I will certainly keep writing about ending senseless violence on all levels by reminding everyone to take their mental health seriously.

Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about mental health, we will all be so much happier.

Thoughtful Thursday #272 – Saved

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How many times have we looked to a person or belief or religion or substance or cause to save us from those invisible, incognito feelings of fear, self-loathing, and undefinable agitation?

The world is built on self-avoidance. We are plummeted with advertisements about instant relief from anxiety and lightning fast methods leading to boastful self-esteem. Only to be disappointed over and over that these seemingly split second, twinkling flashes of being saved have not worked, we think it is us, we are not smart enough, not brave enough, missing the message because we are cursed.

We are all desperate to be saved. Saved from the pain and disappointment of unfortunate events, unexpected delays, and self-recrimination, not feeling worthy or good enough.

Here’s the bad news:  No one is coming to save you. Yes it is unfair but it’s a reality.

Here’s the good news: No one is coming to save you. This is ultimate freedom for you. You are free to create your own “saving”

At this very moment, as you consider your existence and choices with honesty, you are immediately “saved”.

Will your journey of saving yourself be easy, nope; it will be difficult at times, unbearable, unknown, and questionable, but as you process these steps and come out on the other side, your being saved will amount to the information you need to know yourself so well that no one, no person, no god, no curse, no cause and no belief can take from you.

You will stand saved in yourself, as yourself and with yourself, saved from mindlessly following what everyone else does to creating a one of a kind unique, individual life just for you.

The message is: You are so worth the effort of being “saved” by saving yourself.

Sending all of you buckets of gardenia, wisteria and lilies on your very own self-discovery journey.

Thoughtful Thursday #271 – José Micard Teixeira Author & Coach

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Here’s a post from one of my favorite writers, in this short article he says what most of us want to express.

His writing is a reminder that we must choose to be ourselves always even if you are unsure, scared or insecure. Live like  “a rebel with no shame” as Mr. Teixeira says.

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I repel everything that’s supposed to be. I reject everything that it’s imposed on me. I can’t stand conditions or hierarchies. All this immodesty and false humility angers me. I have a hard time accepting injustice and prejudice. I hardly can make friendships and partnerships because it demands from me what I don’t want or know how to give. I’m a loner with an optimistic attitude who seeks to postpone everyday his mental illness. I’m not mad, but I love the madness in finding me mad. I’m proud of who I am. I’m not going to change for anyone. I don’t care about what others think of me. I do what I want and I say whatever I feel like. I’m a rebel with no shame. There’s nothing else to do. I’ll die smiling.

José Micard Teixeira
Author & Coach

Thoughtful Thursday #266 – Is This A Hopeless Situation

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There is no such thing as a hopeless situation, all circumstances can change.

Use your noodle (thinking), take a long look at yourself and your beliefs. Make your choices real by writing down all possibilities,

Is there an internal belief that needs to be ripped out by the roots? Are you open to thinking outside of the the preverbal box?

It won’t be easy to do this, but you must because you need to know your situation is not hopeless.

Happy thinking.

Thoughtful Thursday #264 – What Do You Believe.

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“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” — C.G. Jung

We must become conscious of our beliefs and feelings going on in our minds or we cannot change or transform ourselves and our lives. If something said is repeated over and over it becomes real, but in many cases what was said is either outdated at this point.

If we want to live with meaning and purpose we must make a list of these beliefs and feelings and examine them and tear them apart and eliminate those that don’t resonate with our values.

When we act from outmoded beliefs and feelings we stay stuck and can’t do the necessary letting go so we can move on.

In my case, both my caregivers were mentally ill so I had many bizarre beliefs and feelings that did not make sense even at a young age, I was not self-aware for a long time until I was much older and could be a bit objective about those beliefs and worked with therapists.

Many beliefs we pick up during our lives are dysfunctional. They make us limited.

On a regular basis we must update our beliefs, what was true in the past may not apply now. We must find those very deep beliefs that are not very conscious and rip them out by the roots. This is not easy, it requires, courage, sticking with a therapist, and a commitment to your own self-care.

This uncovering is all about finding the truth, your truth, so you can live the best life that is unique to you. We want to be whole, we want our inner parts integrated, we want to be happy.

None is possible unless we care deeply for ourselves on a regular basis. You are so worth the effort and with this loving effort for yourself the transformation of your life is permanent.

Thoughtful Thursday #262 – Independence

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Today is Independence day here in the USA, based on when the Declaration of Independence was signed we are now 242 years old. That is really young for an enormous country.

I am proud of my country, we have the best human and civil rights in the world. No where else can you pursue your own interests with so much freedom.

We have freedom of expression, we are free to examine and choose what to believe and choose our own lifestyles.

Congratulations to our wonderful United States of America.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #260 – Recovery

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Any recovery journey is really about taking care of yourself – you can’t take care of others without taking care of yourself first. You can’t make sense of your circumstances until you take the step to be good to yourself and examine what is going on.

Recovery from anything is to look at yourself without judgement or criticism but rather with curiosity and compassion.

We must learn about those deeply hidden secrets we keep from ourselves, and uncover their origin.

Recovery is about looking at yourself and comforting yourself as you cry buckets of tears, as you express anger, as you throw your fists up a the incredible injustices you have endured.

After all this expression, over and over, you come out on the other side-instead of crying there’s compassion, instead of anger there is peace, instead of raging at injustice you are living a life of justice.

In my life I get why my high functioning father became so cruel and hateful and addicted to drugs and alcohol – his childhood was horrible – males and females were addicts and alcoholics and he was illegitimate. I get that my mother was a high functioning schizophrenic and so was her mother, my mother was a mess.

She and my father were ill equipped to be parents or decent human beings.  They lived their lives enjoying cruelty and being surrounded with those who were the same. They died without ever recovering and no acknowledgement of their disgusting display of hatred towards me or anyone else. I was the scapegoat until their very last breath.

I get it. I don’t condone it – it was not OK on any level and sadly there was no changing them.

So as painful as it was I had to journey alone and for a very long time in my own trauma recovery. My message to you is recovery is very possible.

Recovery will require that you commit to creating a better life for yourself. You will have to show up to therapy, groups of like minded folks, crying, writing, grounding your emotions, all one day at a time. Sometimes it’s one breath at a time.

You deserve a wonderful life, you deserve to be cared about. You deserve to be safe, You deserve to be heard. You deserve to be respected. You deserve to be loved and don’t let any negative person or internal false belief tell you otherwise.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #257 – Limitations Are Not Real

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Arguing for your limitations: it is so frustrating to hear someone insist that there is no way out of their uncomfortable situation, that they have no choices to choose from, that there trapped in a box and can’t get out.

To insist on believing that you are helpless is an argument in favor of you own self-imposed limitations. Stop doing that, you must stop creating your own traps, be curious about different ways of dealing with a situation, write your choices down and make them real, without distraction go inside of yourself and ask what you need to know, search for information that may be helpful in your quest.

If any of these suggestions make you cringe then friend I am here to tell you the truth of what is happening inside of you. It is fear, fear of change, not being good enough, not being worthy, retaliation for moving forward, the list goes on and on.

It is fear that causes one to argue for their limitations. Resistance is fear and resistance is the indicator that you must go towards what you fear because that is where your answers are.

You are never trapped, there is always an answer to your situation, and you are not helpless.

Will the change you so desperately crave be easy, nope it will not be easy. You will be required to put in effort to uncover what you need to change course and put yourself back on the road to your own happiness and continue creating a wonderful, miraculous life that you so rightly deserve.

Get started now, you are so worth it.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #256 – Determination

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Deciding to be determined is to act without making excuses for our own inaction. It’s an end to waiting to see if our circumstances change.

When we get discouraged we can remind ourselves that it is our own actions that can lift us up instead of waiting for and outside influence to help us.

There is no limit to determination: we can always extend it,

Our own determination can never be taken from us.

Determination is the vow we make to ourselves to get up again and again after falling. When we fail we learn and change the direction of our determination.

The moment you resolve to succeed using your determination everything will shift in your favor.

Try it, it will work, you are so worth the effort.