Writing about writing, I write to get clarity in what I am struggling with. Lately for some reason it has been really difficult to write about anything.
I am not sure why, I have a hunch that this resistance is from some internal, unconscious, conflict. One part of me wants to write her heart out and the other parts makes her forget because it may bring too much attention to us. She is afraid of people, she wants to stay invisible, it’s safer this way.
I want this scared part of me to know that we will be OK, I will never let anyone hurt or humiliate her again. We are safe now and she can rest and not be on guard so much.
I hope she hears me and can trust me.
Self-conscious is when you feel extreme awareness of your appearance or actions. It is the knowledge of your own existence. Could feel uncomfortable at times. Self-consciousness is much more about what is external.
Self-awareness is when you can see yourself clearly with some objectivity with reflection and introspection. Self-awareness is much about what is going in internally.
If we can find a small wedge of detachment in your thinking, we can get a sense of either self-consciousness or self-awareness.
Developing a healthy sense of self requires that we know about both subjects, the value is the better you know yourself the better you know others which makes for healthier relationships.
Self-awareness is quite important because it allows us to deeply know ourselves better, what makes us tick, what makes us angry, happy, bored or interested. We can look honestly at our own actions with clarity and choose a wiser path.
Learning to have a healthy sense of self is a lifelong journey, there is no one way to learn, everyone is unique. It is so important to care enough about ourselves to take the time to know ourselves intimately.
You will gain confidence, insight, direction and goodness and no one can ever take that from you.
Trigger Warning, this is the work of Ellen P. Lacter PHD. who has the courage to examine Ritual Sexual Abuse and spreading the word of advocacy for victims of this horrific and sadistic abuse.
She has treated both child victims and adult survivors and has written in depth articles showing the effects of Ritual Sexual Abuse and the mindset of the perpetrator.
I am sharing this tough article because I refuse to say silent about child sexual abuse and sharing articles like this enlightens everyone, child sexual abuse is a crime that needs to end.
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With today’s negativity on TV and radio and magazines and hurt people acting out violently we can get sucked into the drama very easily and end up feeling hopeless and afraid.
Focusing on the external will make you feel you must react in some way. Not necessarily.
If you make your reference point external and have that run your day you are unwittingly acting from victim consciousness, when we operate from a victim consciousness we give away all our power to external people and events.
Note: people who are hurting aka victims, hurt other people which creates more victim consciousness. Think of the bully who has to hurt others because he/she is hurt.
When we meet angry events with the same polarity and divisiveness that created the angry event, and we are meeting those events with low level reactions and we are postponing a greater world.
A world of peace, love, compassion, respect for all sentient beings, the openness to talk to one another and expand our wonderful world of exceptional humans and believe it or not, most people want this. Most people want to live in peace and safety.
Instead take a break from the negativity and choose a higher form of action:
- refuse to get taken in by unhealthy actions of those who wish to harm.
- have gratitude for the ability to choose your reactions.
- find reasons to feel positive.
- find people who you can love and that love you.
- send good wishes and pure feelings to everyone.
- take the time to think and understand what is going on in your life.
- take the time to think about how to react.
- be kind whenever possible.
Let’s build each other up instead of tearing down, let’s be of a greater service to humanity. Let’s be united for a better world with positivity. All of us.
Healing the world is a wonderful altruistic goal, unfortunately no one can. There will always be people who are not willing to help the world.
Why, because they are stuck in their own trauma, everyone has trauma in one form or another, you can see it in your everyday interactions. Someone is angry, untouchable, has heavy emotional baggage, bitter, unhappy, sabotaging, etc.
However to heal the world you much do the very hard and important inner work of examining your own life, it will take great effort but the positive results will be permanent, you will be happier, calmer, brilliantly confident and unafraid of living your best life.
Do the work, you are worth the effort and the world needs more healed people to help heal the world.
In case you never heard of IFS it is a remarkable therapy for healing, it’s based on the premise that we all are comprised of many mental and emotional parts.
(Paraphrased from their literature). IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz over the last 30 years. This model is a transformative and evidence based model of psychotherapy. Our inner parts have valuable qualities and our core self knows how to heal. IFS is a new movement for understanding the mind, harmonizing the mind and heals the mind.
I have been practicing this method for five years and I can tell you from first hand experience that the results I have gotten are miraculous, permanent and made me grow emotionally by leaps and bounds.
So if you have tried other types of psychotherapy and not much has helped try IFS.
I have Covid 19 and I am recovering, I had fever, aches and pains, fatigue, migraines, loss of smell and taste. Most of my symptoms are gone except for the loss of smell and taste.
This illness wiped me out for nearly 4 weeks, I caught it because a family member was infected first, this illness is very slow moving and not much relieves the symptoms expect for Tylenol and vitamins like C and lots of zinc.
I am lucky, as bad as my symptoms got I did not end up in the hospital.
We are not out of the woods yet, please follow the CDC guidelines and take this illness seriously.
Coronavirus pandemic is causing tremendous panic to everyone. People are hoarding essentials, emptying grocery shelves, and businesses are overcharging for safety material. That is more than enough to cause a panic in addition to the possiblity in catching the coronavirus.
Panic is a natural response to what is happening, there is a sense of loss in many areas, our normal routines, restricted freedom, minimum socializing, noticing stores are overcharging for everything, this is to name a few losses.
It’s OK, this is a temporary situation and at this point we are entrenched in this new norm and many of us are thinking about all the possibilities that can occur when this is over.
Self care is most important during this time. Do what it takes to get grounded and calm, look at happy movies and videos, turn off the news, reach out to others on social media, find a way to get peaceful and connected. And follow the CDC guidelines.
We will come out of this, this is guaranteed, so in this period of isolation be creative in your self care.
Stay safe and well.
Most of the United States is on lock down to flatten the curve of the Coronavirus.
Please follow the authorities directive, it could save your life.
In the meantime if you are anxious and fearful and concerned about your mental health please reach out to a mental health professional. Check in your area or call your local hospital for a referral. Or find resources online.
Stay home, if you don’t feel well reach out to a doctor. This will all be over in a few weeks.
I hope all of you are well and stay well.
This is a therapy model created by Dr. Richard Schwartz and he wrote a book on it. I personally have benefitted from this model and I am passing this miracle of transformation to you. It’s the premise that we are all split into different personalities based on good times and traumatic times and how we are not fully integrated. It is similar to multiple personalities but the difference between being a multiple and non integrated is that a multiple has no awareness of its various parts whereas someone who is not fully intergrated is aware. For example, have you ever done something stupid and said to yourself “why did I do that?’ It’s because there is a part who based on it’s past acted out.
Everyone on the planet is not fully integrated because we all have issues. It does not matter where the issues came from, what is important is that we heal them and the Internal Family System is very helpful. I encourage you to check it out for yourself.
Here’s an article from betterhelp.com that explains the Internal Family system.
A very helpful FB page is “Beating Trauma with Elisabeth Corey” is based closely to the IFS model too.
Also watch the children’s movie “Inside Out” it is based on this model.
Here’s a link explaining the movie.
Inside Out, The Internal Family Systems Model, And The Kars4Kids Jingle
There is nothing more important than our mental and physical health. Take advantage of all resources in growing as the whole person you are meant to be.