This poster is from the Gottman Institute on how to process difficult emotions. This poster is just another tool in your toolbox for promoting good mental health.
You’re welcome.
Carry on.
Feb27
Tag Archives: acceptance
Nov14
Thoughtful Thursday #279 – Reinvention
It’s normal and necessary to reinvent ourselves over and over during our entire lifetime.
How do we reinvent ourselves, by changing the way we behave just like a singer who reinvents their career over and over. You are no different from a celebrity. You are the star of your own life and can grow and adapt as you go on in your precious life.
Don’t be afraid to experiment, you don’t have to explain or justify the new you, get out of your comfort zone, be honest with yourself and others.
Make your one and only life happy for you over and over. Find your courage, set some goals, create a plan, write it all down on paper, you can always change it as you go along, you may even have to relentlessly reassess. And take your time there is no finish line.
Have fun while you are at it and remind yourself every day that you are worth the effort.
Oct24
Thoughtful Thursday #276 – Compassion vs Empathy
Compassion = being open to receive information and hearing distress without feeling it yourself. Compassionate listening allows you to be of help and feel for the person. There is emotional distance here.
Empathy = empathy is where you find some personal experience in you that resonates like a broken heart or tragedy. With empathy you feel the others feelings and become enmeshed with the person’s feelings. There is emotional involvement and hard to escape.
Both empathy and compassion are valuable. But empathy is emotional draining at times, compassion is about mindfulness and loving kindness without bias.
Whichever you choose I hope it is for yourself first. You of all people deserve empathy and compassion.
This is one of the most loving and kind action you can do for yourself.
Jun6
Thoughtful Thursday#259 – Tell Your Kids Things
From FB page The Psychology Babes
May16
Thoughtful Thursday #257 – Limitations Are Not Real
Arguing for your limitations: it is so frustrating to hear someone insist that there is no way out of their uncomfortable situation, that they have no choices to choose from, that there trapped in a box and can’t get out.
To insist on believing that you are helpless is an argument in favor of you own self-imposed limitations. Stop doing that, you must stop creating your own traps, be curious about different ways of dealing with a situation, write your choices down and make them real, without distraction go inside of yourself and ask what you need to know, search for information that may be helpful in your quest.
If any of these suggestions make you cringe then friend I am here to tell you the truth of what is happening inside of you. It is fear, fear of change, not being good enough, not being worthy, retaliation for moving forward, the list goes on and on.
It is fear that causes one to argue for their limitations. Resistance is fear and resistance is the indicator that you must go towards what you fear because that is where your answers are.
You are never trapped, there is always an answer to your situation, and you are not helpless.
Will the change you so desperately crave be easy, nope it will not be easy. You will be required to put in effort to uncover what you need to change course and put yourself back on the road to your own happiness and continue creating a wonderful, miraculous life that you so rightly deserve.
Get started now, you are so worth it.
Mar28
Thoughtful thursday #251 – Thoughts And Actions
There are two things that we have complete control over. Our thoughts and actions. That is pretty much it.
Things that go on outside of us are uncontrollable. We may have a chance to use our own actions to influence the event. That is still controlling our actions. We can take an action that will influence our own lives or someone else’s in a positive way.
We can’t stop our thoughts, that is the purpose of our mind is to think but we can stop useless thoughts by practicing redirecting our thoughts. For example, if someone is talking bad about you or someone else you can choose to stop those negative thoughts that put you down the rabbit hole of despair and change the subject to something positive.
Take note: This kind of mindfulness is not easy, when you start and you can expect your mind to resist change. This is good because resistance will show you where you need look at your own issues. Be kind to yourself as you make these positive changes, if you become distracted, redirect when you can. You are worth the effort.
Aug31
Thoughtful Thursdays – # 177 – Louise Hay
Louise Hay died 8.30.17 at the age of 90. I started reading her self-help books many years ago. She wrote affirmations and gave words of encouragement. She grew up in a hostile home and knew the importance of healing our minds because through our minds we could heal the trauma trapped in our bodies. She was an advocate and visionary of self-healing. She was passionate about serving others through her books, talks and healing words.
You Can Heal Your Life and Heal Your Body are just two but classic books on self-healing. She also recorded several YouTube videos.
So in those moments of emotional pain and upset here are some affirmations to get you started on the road to healing.
20 Quotes To Remember Louise Hay By
Love is never outside ourselves; love is within us.
In the infinity of life where I am, All is perfect, whole and complete, I no longer choose to believe in old limitations and lack, I now choose to begin to see myself. As the Universe sees me — perfect, whole, and complete.
We may not know how to forgive, and we many not want to forgive; but the very fact we say we are willing to forgive begins the healing practice.
The past is over and done and cannot be changed. This is the only moment we can experience. Deep at the center of my being there is an infinite well of gratitude. I now allow this gratitude to fill my heart, my body, my mind, my consciousness, my very being. This gratitude radiates out from me in all directions, touching everything in my world, and returns to me as more to be grateful for. The more gratitude I feel, the more I am aware that the supply is endless.
You have the power to heal your life, and you need to know that. We think so often that we are helpless, but we’re not. We always have the power of our minds…Claim and consciously use your power.
Begin to recognize prosperity everywhere, and rejoice in it.
If you accept a limiting belief, then it will become a truth for you.
Love is the greatest healing power I know. Love can heal even the deepest and most painful memories because love brings the light of understanding to the darkest corners of our hearts and minds.
As I say YES to life, life says YES to me.
You are the only person who thinks in your mind! You are the power and authority in your world.
No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind.
Be ready for love when it does come. Prepare the field and be ready to nourish love. Be loving, and you will be lovable. Be open and receptive to love.
Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives.
Every thought we think is creating our future.
Look at the ‘problems’ in your life. Ask yourself, ‘What kind of thoughts am I having that create this?
You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
I say “Out” to every negative thought that comes to my mind. No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it.
Every time you meditate, every time you do visualization for healing, every time you say something for healing the whole planet, you are connecting with like-minded people all over the planet who are doing the same thing.
I grow spiritually when I accept responsibility for my life.
Be willing to take the first step, no matter how small it is. Concentrate on the fact that you are willing to learn. Absolute miracles will happen.
Happy healing.
Aug17
Thoughtful Thursdays #175 – What Is Necessary to Our Wellbeing
There are three things necessary to our wellbeing: Identity, Community and Purpose.
However in our fractured world where these things are hard to find, many people, young people especially are lost in the world. The internet doesn’t help. Even though the internet is a tremendous asset there is not much in the way of human interaction. So we become fractured. We lose any sense of identity, community and purpose. We flip from one relationship to another to find our identity, racing from one community to another to feel we fit in, and trying over and over again different causes to feel personally satisfied. Or we can completely shut down.
We can see the lies fed to everyone by invisible agenda makers. These invisible agenda makers know psychology to manipulate those who are searching for their lost identity, community and purpose. Their hidden agenda is to tap into these basic human needs to the detriment of the searcher. These invisible agenda makers come up as extremists groups as political, religious, consumerism and that sneaky minority of those who just hate humanity and are power-hungry to destroy anyone they can.
Let’s find out what our true identity, community and purpose is by not blindly following others but doing the work of learning about ourselves. If you have no sense of identity, find out who you are by your own standards. If you have no community, find like-minded people or create your own community. If you have no sense of purpose, find your passion and go for it.
It’s not easy to go your own way, it’s unknown territory so at times you will feel lonely and lost. That is OK. Sit with the feeling rather than running away from it. When you arrive to the other side you will know more of who you are, have an internal compass that will find the community that loves you and you get up every day happy to live your purpose.
Stop wasting time, learn more about you now.
Apr13
Thoughtful Thursdays #159 – Your Own Wisdom
During my life I have sought direction and meaning of my life in many ways. Religions, gurus, books, fashion, food, and people who I thought knew more than me. I wasted so much time and energy trying to fit into where I didn’t belong.
So I stopped for a long time and got to know myself really well. I found my own way of being, my own direction, my own wisdom.
If you are seeking direction and meaning in your life, look within your thoughts. Ask without judgement: Why do I behave this way? Where did I learn this or that? What beliefs are outdated? Where does sadness live in my body? Where does joy live in my body? Where do I want to be? What do I want to do?
We all have other obligations, I get that. We have families and work but for five minutes every day ask a simple question. What is good for me? Write it down and visit it often and eventually your desires will manifest.
You will know your own wisdom by feeling content and in the zone. Will there be obstacles? Definitely. The obstacles are left over stuff that has to be processed in order to move on. It’s OK, process and move on.
The more you know your own wisdom, the more meaningful your life will become and there is no need to justify the meaning of your life to anyone. You now belong to you. You are your beloved. You are the “god” of your own existence.
What a beautiful and powerful gift you can give to yourself: Your Own Wisdom.
Feb23
Thoughtful Thursdays – #154 – The Need To Be Right
I admit it. I like to be right. Everyone does.
However to demand others see things our way is actually wrong. The need to be right all the time comes from the fear of losing control and credibility and feeling threatened. That is a real uncomfortable way to live.
“The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” – Pema Chodron
Here’s 5 negative results of insisting on being right all the time.
- You will not be open to other possibilities.
- You see others in a condescending and belittling manner.
- There is no open dialog.
- You will end up alone and isolated.
- It is disrespectful to others.
“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.” -Anthony Robbins
Here’s 5 positive results of letting go of being right all the time.
- You become kinder and accepting without feeling threatened.
- You become more compassionate and understanding.
- You can communicate better.
- You will be open to new experiences.
- You will have the willingness to be wrong.
“You can change your beliefs so they empower your dreams and desires. Create a strong belief in yourself and what you want.”- Marcia Wieder
If we can, for just a moment, become detached from the need to be right and listen to another’s opinion we open ourselves to deeper understanding and acceptance. Being detached to having it your way will also eliminate judgement and resistance.
So be considerate to others by being confident enough to live without the need to be right. You will be happier, unafraid to make mistakes, kinder, willing to learn, humble and brave enough to build character.
Happy— I Don’t Have To Be Right All The Time— Day.
purelysimplewords 