Happy Holidays
and
Happy New Year
I wish all of you the best for 2019.
Happy Holidays
and
Happy New Year
I wish all of you the best for 2019.
Paying attention to what you are thinking is an important step in a healthy mind.
Mindyourmind.org has some steps to help you have a healthy mind.
From Psychology Today: The mind can sometimes be a wonderful, creative instrument. However usually, the inner dialogue is anything but constructive. Remember – you are not your mind, and never let yourself be tricked by it.
Quote by Denis Avey, Author: The mind is a powerful thing. It can take you through walls.
Buddha: “It is a man’s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.” “We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.” “There is nothing so disobedient as an undisciplined mind, and there is nothing so obedient as a disciplined mind.”
We can never stop thinking but we can pay attention to what the chatter is all about and allow us to be a little more detached. Having a healthy mind is a lifelong journey. A journey so worth the effort.
Now hang in there with me as I explain what a secret history is: a secret history is your hidden beliefs.
The beliefs that are not even conscious, the beliefs that come from fear or terror or emotional hurt. Our beliefs try to protect us from being hurt again, You can hear it say, don’t go there, remember what happened last time. Don’t talk to her, she looks mean, Don’t take that risk, you will fail like all the other times. Don’t talk to him, you’re too shy, ugly, dumb, less than everyone else. On and on these beliefs hold us prisoner and not allowing us to live up to our full potential.
Some beliefs we would never vocalize. It’s too dangerous for anyone to know how we really feel. Some beliefs we go to our graves with.
This is your secret history of negative beliefs. It’s time to examine them one by one, scary as it is. Perhaps we can reverse the negative beliefs into positive ones.
I am worthy to be in the world, let me smile at her, I can take a tiny risk, it’s OK to fail because it’s a learning experience. I can express my love and feelings without worrying about rejection. What can I do to help someone else.
Hopefully we will be creating a new secret history of positive beliefs and be a light for ourselves and someone who may need it.
The Basics of Psychological Projection
The theory of psychological projection was developed by Sigmund Freud, an Austrian psychologist commonly referred to as the “father of psychoanalysis.” For this reason, psychological projection is sometimes called “Freudian projection.” During his sessions with patients, Freud noticed that they would sometimes accuse others of having the same feelings they themselves were demonstrating. By engaging in this behavior, the patient was better able to deal with the emotions he or she was experiencing.
The classic example of Freudian projection is that of a woman who has been unfaithful to her husband but who accuses her husband of cheating on her. Another example of psychological projection is someone who feels a compulsion to steal things then projects those feelings onto others. She might begin to fear that her purse is going to be stolen or that she is going to be shortchanged when she buys something.
Projection is not always as dramatic or as easily identifiable, however. An instance of projection that most people can relate to is when they come across someone they do not like, but are forced to interact with on a somewhat-polite level. For example, Jessica begins to resent her sister-in-law, Carla, for being so close to her husband.
Whenever there is a family gathering, Jessica thinks that Carla is being snippy with her, especially when Jessica’s husband is in the room. Jessica explains to her husband that she has tried as hard as she can, but the reason why she does not like Carla is because Carla does not like her. As you can see, Jessica has projected her feelings of dislike and resentment onto Carla.
Why Do We Project?
As mentioned earlier, projection is used as a defense mechanism, and defense mechanisms are used to cope with feelings and emotions that we have trouble expressing or coming to terms with.
To return to the Jessica and Carla example: Jessica has a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she resents her sister-in-law. She may feel guilty about being jealous of the time Carla spends with her husband, or she may worry that her feelings will be noticed by other members of the family, who will then think badly of her. Jessica then subconsciously projects her feelings onto Carla which gives her an excuse for disliking her. Instead of having to face these feelings of dislike and resentment on her own, she is able to project her feelings on another person.
Psychological projection is one of many defense mechanisms people engage in on a regular basis.
Denial – Refusing to admit to yourself that something is real (e.g., not believing the doctor when she tells you some particularly bad news about your health).
Distortion – Changing the reality of a situation to suit your needs (e.g., thinking that your boyfriend cheated on you because he was scared of commitment).
Passive Aggression – Indirectly acting out your aggression (e.g., purposely parking in your co-worker’s parking spot as retribution for a previous dispute).
Repression – Covering up feelings or emotions instead of coming to terms with them (e.g., being unable to recall the details of a car crash you were involved in – the brain sometimes purposely “loses” these memories to help you cope).
Sublimination – Converting negative feelings into positive actions (e.g., cleaning the house whenever you are angry about something).
Dissociation – Substantially but temporarily changing your personality to avoid feeling emotion (e.g., trying to “keep yourself together” at a funeral for the benefit of others).
Defense mechanisms are not always unhealthy. In fact, some defense mechanisms are essential to coping with stressful events. For example, humor is an example of a positive defense mechanism that people employ to deal with stress in life. Using humor in a difficult situation allows you to get your feelings out into the open and also brings pleasure to others by making them laugh.
A good place to start is to examine the negative relationships in your life. Who don’t you get along with at work or in your family? Do you feel as though someone is out to get you? Try to determine where the animosity began. In some cases, you may find that speaking with a therapist will help you examine these relationships more honestly and openly than you are able to do by yourself.
Once you have identified that you are engaging in psychological projection, you will become more aware of this tendency during future interactions. Try to face problems and disputes head on rather than becoming defensive. The key is to be able to recognize when you are using a defense mechanism and learn how to respond in a more positive manner.
Different Types of Psychological Projection
Projection is not always a negative mechanism. Although the Freudian theory of projection assumes that the projected feelings tend to be undesirable, there are other types of projection that are more positive and productive.
Complimentary projection is slightly different and not as common. People who employ complimentary projection assume that everyone has the same skills and ability as they do. For example, someone who is skilled in the kitchen might assume that everyone else is able to make a soufflé with as much ease as they do. Of course, we all know that this is not the case.
Psychological projection is not the healthiest way to deal with emotions, however, it is a difficult habit for some people to break. Next time you begin to project your feelings onto someone else, stop and ask yourself why you are engaging in this behavior. You will find that it is much easier to deal with the monsters in your head rather than project the negative emotions you are experiencing onto others.
How Do You Deal with Difficult Emotions?
It’s natural to experience anger, jealousy, hurt – even though your mother told you that “a frown doesn’t suit your pretty face, Dear!” But have you ever felt so overwhelmed by these emotions, or that you spend too much energy getting over them? Everyone could use some healthy options for dealing with difficult emotions. Find out how well you deal with suffering in this difficult emotions quiz.
Mixed media and textile art
Noreen Crone-Findlay talks about the crafts she loves with her friend, Tottie Tomato. They'll be sharing tutorials, how to's and step by steps for spool knitting, crochet, doll making, small loom weaving, wood working, paper crafts and all manner of other fun crafts. This is a family friendly blog.
Seeking to recapture the spirit of the Renaissance.
...making the business of marketing and licensing for creators understandable, achievable and affordable.
Trauma Recovery and Hope
The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.
A community of nomads rejecting the Status Quo and rebelling against Mediocrity✰
Painters in Denver & Interior, Exterior Paint Contractor Services
The Creative Zone for Making Art
TeresaDownUnder
The Art and Craft of Blogging
I have people to kill, lives to ruin, plagues to bring, and worlds to destroy. I am not the Angel of Death. I'm a fiction writer.
Karen DeMers Dowdall
Stitch Every Day!
WEE FOLK STUDIO
Advanced Paper Mache Art
Mixed media and textile art
Noreen Crone-Findlay talks about the crafts she loves with her friend, Tottie Tomato. They'll be sharing tutorials, how to's and step by steps for spool knitting, crochet, doll making, small loom weaving, wood working, paper crafts and all manner of other fun crafts. This is a family friendly blog.
Seeking to recapture the spirit of the Renaissance.
...making the business of marketing and licensing for creators understandable, achievable and affordable.
Trauma Recovery and Hope
The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.
A community of nomads rejecting the Status Quo and rebelling against Mediocrity✰
Painters in Denver & Interior, Exterior Paint Contractor Services
The Creative Zone for Making Art
TeresaDownUnder
The Art and Craft of Blogging
I have people to kill, lives to ruin, plagues to bring, and worlds to destroy. I am not the Angel of Death. I'm a fiction writer.
Karen DeMers Dowdall
Stitch Every Day!
WEE FOLK STUDIO
Advanced Paper Mache Art