I like to mind my own business mostly unless I am dragged into situations where I have to defend myself. I like being friendly and accommodating except where I am being taken advantage of. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect my life to have good times except when it doesn’t .
Most of us want to get along and live in reasonable peace. However, we don’t all have the same awareness. Which shows up when we are interacting with others.
We meet each other at these different levels and that’s where the problems begin. We can’t understand someones indifference or cruelty or insincere remark. Why did they gossip or take belongings or leave with no warning?
How is it that some things are so obvious to us but not to them?
Simple yet not so simple. Awareness. Some of us are simply more aware than others. It’s impossible to know where the other is coming from completely. But it is possible to know about yourself. And that is all that matters because you end up being open to those who resonate with you. You become a light of awareness for others. You have a better set of boundaries. You gain unshakable confidence to live the life you want.
You can’t stop others from being who they are.
Others can’t stop you from being who you are.
So carry on with your bad self.
Benjamin Franklin did it. All 12 Step programs do it. You do it in therapy. When something rattles your life you do it.
Painful yet tremendously healing.
Taking inventory is not punishment or to shame or hurt you. Taking inventory is to step back from situations and see why you react and behave in certain ways that are less than desirable. What do you feel? Is the feeling reminiscent of the past? Do you need to continue reacting or can you stop and walk away or just be present in the moment.
What behaviors have I learned that no longer serve my higher purpose? What can I change about me that will move me to a higher level? How can I remove any toxic reactions from my behavior?
Taking inventory removes mind blindness and makes you more mindful and present. Taking inventory invites you to be you. A healthy, productive, kind and individual person you are meant to be. Put up boundaries, create movement, learn new things, don’t stagnate.
BE THE PERSON YOU ARE MEANT TO BE. You are not meant to be a clone or shadow to anyone or anything. You are meant to be you.
So take inventory. Do it often and stay open to your inner guide. And be you.
This is an old adage. For millenia philosophers, sages and ordinary folk understand on a fundamental level that everything begins and ends in the mind.
We are talking about thinking. Not magical thinking or wishes. This is thinking with action.
It’s making up our minds and acting on it.
Of course this is simpler said than done. If you are fed up with the same negative results over and over again then it’s time to change some small action. One small change will kick in the domino effect. One thing affects another and so on.
Keep in mind it takes about six weeks for any change to become effective. So have patience.
Change demands boundaries and commitment and movement in a gentle way. In a non-judgemental way.
It’s OK if you fall short of your objective. It’s OK if you start again from square one. It’s OK if you re-adjust again and again to get to your objective.
Just start and try. You can always change your mind.
Most of us feel trapped in our decisions as if there are no alternatives.
Where do you feel trapped? Maybe in your job, relationships, lifestyle, trauma, beliefs. What worries you? What grates on your nerves? What precipitates your addictions? What keeps you going round and round instead of forward?
Free write about each concern.
Free role play possible outcomes.
Free your child mind with crayons on paper.
Free yourself with music you have never heard.
Free your spirit with twenty minutes of silence.
Free your body with dancing.
Free yourself of addiction by sitting with uncomfortable feelings.
Freely choose something different instead of habits.
Freely be different.
Free your heart by speaking your mind.
Freely think of all possible outcomes.
Freely share yourself with the world.
Freely divorce yourself from negativity.
Freely choose what is purposeful for you.
Freely reach out to others when you are needy.
Your life is meant to be meaningful. You are important. When you choose alternatives that make you life better you give others permission to do so also.
If you don’t feel safe in your own skin, in your environment, in your mind, in any situation (other than life threatening) then you will not see opportunities to grow.
If you feel safe there is a sense of freedom. There is the belief that there are many possibilities. There is courage to try new things. There is hope. There is generosity.
Safety has a lot to do with what you believe. If your beliefs have made it difficult to feel safe, it’s time to examine these beliefs. Challange them, look them square in the eye and tell them to move over it’s time for a change. A change for the better.
Your freedom is precious, protect it, honor it, it belongs to you. You are free to choose anything. Start small and in a short time your courage will make you feel safe.
Safe enough it change your world. Wow.
The Sins of the Father are not an ancient curse. It is the human condition of repeating the same old negative patterns over and over for generation after generation.
For example, pervasive abuse on any level will stay intact as long as the abuse is seen as normal. Many times abuse is accepted as a way of life. As if there is no other way of living. Therefore, the cycles of abuse remain for a long time, until someone finally realizes this is enough.
Family systems are complicated. People are complicated. Humans are a product of habit and fear.
Except when whether in secret or out in the open someone reaches out for a better way of living. Eventually the cycle is broken.
All it takes is some courage, please try. You know in your gut what you need to move forward. Please try to have the courage to break the cycle of abuse.
So many times we feel stuck. Nothing is working out. We are confused about which way to go. Bored and restless.
Reminder: your options are not limited. Ignore naysayers and your own resistance. Think out side of the norm.
To free yourself from your actual or perceived restrictions: Choose.
Choose any direction. Any direction will lead you to freedom. Even if it is as simple a decision as what to eat for breakfast.
Feeling you have no control in your life could be based on your own actions. But more likly because of your inaction.
I am not going to preach about commitment. Most of the time I am not very good at it unless it is really important or necessary. I usually focus on what I can get by with.
It is common to focus on the small window of activities in our lives because we are so busy doing actions to keep our heads above water.
Is society the cause? Is the economy the cause? Is fear the cause? Distractions? There are as many reasons and justifications as there are people.
For me, I am willing to commit to situations I either love or really enjoy or as a result of a crisis. Is that enough, probably not because I stay in my comfort zone. Let’s be reasonable. How much time does one have in a day.
The solution is to make an effort to get out of one’s comfort zone. Easier said than done. But so noticeable necessary.
Just try……..that’s the only requirement in a commitment.
Children are not the only group to succumb to peer pressure.
I recently saw peer pressure at work at my office. One person clearly expressed a personal desire. Not anything out of the ordinary and announced he wanted to pursue an action to improve his life. The second person became so enraged with jealousy because he did not think of it first and is making the first persons life miserable. Unfortunately, person one is subordinate to person two.
The first person is now quiet and dejected, embarrassed and ostracized for the moment. It will change because person one has bent over to peer pressure and the threat of financial ruin.
How stupid it is to be jealous and use your power to hurt someone else especially in a professional environment. The second person won’t get anywhere. The only thing accomplished was a show of power.
How sad and frustrating it is to be forced to act fake in order to survive. How sad to live in fear of being whipped and beaten by a nobody who thinks they are entitled to beat down others for ego purposes.
What is the resolve? I don’t know at the moment. I hope person one gets what they want and person two gets what they deserve.
When any form of rejection happens, it is time to reflect. Here are some things to think about.
1. It’s time to readjust your path.
2. It’s them, not you.
3. What areas do I need to improve on my path.
4. What is the lesson.
5. Mourn the loss.
6. Avoid the same trap in the future.
7. It is not the end.
8. Keep moving.
9. Reject them back.
10. Let it go.
As in any loss you will experience a lot of grief. It will pass. go easy on yourself. You will get through and be better for it.