It’s much better to get to know someone first before you express the power of who you are.
Not all are trustworthy. Some people are predators. Some want to destroy for the sheer pleasure of it.
It is perfectly OK to protect yourself, emotionally, physically, financially.
However, if you find someone you can trust, treasure them. This is truly rare.
When I am overwhelmed with racing thoughts and panic I want to run away and hide under a safe rock. I want to numb out from a constant bombardment of possibilities but doubting all of them. I want to hurry up and bring conclusions and endings to stop the confusion.
But wait……….. instead of running anywhere it is OK to STOP.
Stop running and let the massive amount of stuff in your brain settle. Do something different, out of the ordinary, just stop. Force yourself if you have to. Just wait for your mind to process what is going on.
You will be surprised at the amount of insight that is revealed. It’s wonderful to know that everything will turn out well.
We all play a number of roles during the day. Co-worker, parent, helper, listener, child, adult etc.
We play so many roles we forget to authentic.
We are authentic when we are truly ourselves with no fear of judgement.
It’s better to be your honest self because you will be happier and a better role model for others to be authentic too.
Therapy – a scary word to some, the sound of relief to others. Seems extreme, doesn’t it?
For those who have no experience with therapy, it must seem strange, unusual, for losers. Those are the ones who are scared and not willing to do the hard, exhausting work of being aware.
For those who have some experience and left too soon gave into resistance. They were about to have a breakthrough but chickened out.
There are those that are curious and search different types of therapy as an easy way of quick fixing their mental health. But this is not really helpful.
For those who have many years of therapy learn that the hard work of changing yourself is worth the blood, sweat and tears of awareness. I am not saying this happens all the time. Sometimes the change is subtle and on a subconscious level.
I advocate therapy because you have one person who is your die-hard ally who is interested in only you and your life. Therapists are mostly compassionate and caring and possibly give you the time, attention and care you may never had. If you are willing to be honest about how you feel to another trusted human being you will be transformed. At times it won’t be easy and that’s OK. There is no rush and no judgement. Just acceptance.
It takes just a little trust and courage to open up in a safe setting. We cannot heal in isolation, we need at least one person who is detached and objective to believe and validate us. Give it a try. You will uncover the truth of your life and you just may like it.
Fear of abandonment is a core survival instinct. In a more rural time if you were banished from your village it meant certain death. We are born to feel belonging, it’s part of being human, when we are abandoned physically or emotionally it’s a death of sorts.
If we are abandoned today we won’t die but become dysfunctionally alone, barren, unable to trust, and painfully aware we belong nowhere.
There is a cure for this. You will not want to hear it.
You are the cure. You are the light at the end of the tunnel.
Do what it takes to process the damage of abandonment by significant others. Learn to trust yourself. You are all you need now. You are the strong one, able to live wholly on your own and not in a crowd. You are now able to allow what you want – not waiting for others to include you. You are in control of your own life and that is freedom.
You are the leader of the pack. Out of all the times you doubted you could survive. You did. You did a magnificent job. You deserve an Olympic metal for survival
Congratulations you win.
It’s really hard to move forward in life. We work hard to keep going, getting up every day to try to better ourselves.
All it takes is one small momentary lack of judgement to lose everything and start back at the beginning.
It’s easy to slip back into old ways and be discouraged by setbacks. It’s OK to feel that way. Start again from the beginning. You will regain your composure and move forward again.
Emotions are a barometer of information. Have you ever felt a strong emotion come up for, what seems to be, no good reason? Emotions can be triggered by a memory of the past. Emotions come up for you to examine, emotions won’t kill you, but they may scare you.
There is clearly a message with the emotion. If you can stay with the uneasiness of the emotion and examine it, you will be able to release it. Sorta like a balloon floating up into the air never to be seen again. It’s the same with the emotion that may be holding you back. This is the mystery of the subconscious (where emotions live) that is at work all the time. But we don’t realize it.
Feel it, release it, feel it, release it. Repeat
Will it be easy? Nope. But it works every time and you will be free.
We have all experienced the death of something, whether it’s a pet or person or job or relationship, the ending always feels the same: like a big loss. An empty hole that is sentimental and nostalgic and final.
We may want to run away from this empty hole with staying busy, getting high and distraction after distraction. But in those still moments when the emptiness returns be reminded that we need to feel our feelings and grieve the loss completely. Grieving has a purpose. Grieving allows you to empty your pain and becomes an energy that will turn to wisdom, love and power.
Our hearts can become broken so easily. Broken from fear, endings, trauma, and tragedy. How many times have you seen something that makes you really sad and feel helpless to change the situation? We have all run across this many times. A homeless person, the high functioning drug addict, the mentally handicapped, the poor, stray animals, the dying. What about our own personal suffering. Everyone has some challenge. It’s part of the human existence.
Tears flow from our eyes when we see others suffer and sometimes see a reflection of ourselves in that suffering. New Age philosophy makes claims to just think positive. That is unrealistic and impractical. You can’t just think for something to change for the better.
Each heart is unique; each heart has to find its own way of mending. What works for one heart will not work for another. Let’s ask: why is my heart broken and how can I move on?
- Take time to be still.
- Take time to grieve.
- Use extreme self-care.
- Try new things.
- Volunteer your time.
- Read about healing.
- Stay connected to others.
- Stay in the present moment.
- Get support.
In the meantime, hold yourself in high regard and shower love onto yourself. Know that this will pass.
I was mean today and I liked it. I plan on being mean again soon. I had to put someone in their place today because I don’t respond well to being disrespected and screamed at.
Being mean keeps nasty people away. Being mean makes others notice and pay attention to what you are saying. Being mean works in getting your way.
I am not mean all the time, only when my back is against the wall or blamed for something I didn’t do or when someone is victimizing me.
Being mean is a form of emotionally protecting yourself. It takes courage to be mean. If you are nice all the time you will be taken advantage of. It’s great to be kind and loving and peaceful, but there are times to stand up for yourself, especially when dealing with people who want to get comfortable with obliterating your boundaries. It’s OK to be perceived as a villain.
Those who see you as a villain are the bad guys. Those who don’t see you as a villain are your fans.
Protecting yourself is vital to living a happy life. Otherwise you will feel hopeless.
Go ahead, protect yourself.