Tag Archives: wise words

Thoughtful Thursday #299 – Recovering from Covid 19

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I have Covid 19 and I am recovering, I had fever, aches and pains, fatigue, migraines, loss of smell and taste. Most of my symptoms are gone except for the loss of smell and taste.

This illness wiped me out for nearly 4 weeks, I caught it because a family member was infected first, this illness is very slow moving and not much relieves the symptoms expect for Tylenol and vitamins like C and lots of zinc.

I am lucky, as bad as my symptoms got I did not end up in the hospital.

We are not out of the woods yet, please follow the CDC guidelines and take this illness seriously.

Stay safe.

Thoughtful Thursday #297 – Attachment Trauma and Injuries

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There are a number of attachment styles that people adopt. Anxious, Avoidant, Secure, Dismissive. These are the four major styles, You can look up the details on Google.

Attachment injuries come from mostly from family of origin issues.

How do you know you have an attachment issue, your relationships are not working, you feel invisible, you are not getting your needs met, you are allowing others to sabotage and abuse you somehow.

This is heavy stuff so I want to share an expert Attachment Trauma, relationship coach and Psychotherapist Alan Robarge, Here’s a video explaining this issue.

Hope you find it healing.

Thoughtful Thursday #296 – Coronavirus

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Most of the United States is on lock down to flatten the curve of the Coronavirus.

Please follow the authorities directive, it could save your life.

In the meantime if you are anxious and fearful and concerned about your mental health please reach out to a mental health professional. Check in your area or call your local hospital for a referral. Or find resources online.

Stay home, if you don’t feel well reach out to a doctor. This will all be over in a few weeks.

I hope all of you are well and stay well.

Thoughtful Thursday #294 – Internal Family System

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This is a therapy model created by Dr. Richard Schwartz and he wrote a book on it. I personally have benefitted from this model and I am passing this miracle of transformation to you. It’s the premise that we are all split into different personalities based on good times and traumatic times and how we are not fully integrated. It is similar to multiple personalities but the difference between being a multiple and non integrated is that a multiple has no awareness of its various parts whereas someone who is not fully intergrated is aware. For example, have you ever done something stupid and said to yourself “why did I do that?’ It’s because there is a part who based on it’s past acted out.

Everyone on the planet is not fully integrated because we all have issues. It does not matter where the issues came from, what is important is that we heal them and the Internal Family System is very helpful. I encourage you to check it out for yourself.

Here’s an article from betterhelp.com that explains the Internal Family system.

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/what-is-internal-family-systems-therapy-and-who-can-benefit-from-it/

A very helpful FB page is “Beating Trauma with Elisabeth Corey” is based closely to the IFS model too.

Also watch the children’s movie “Inside Out” it is based on this model.

Here’s a link explaining the movie.

Inside Out, The Internal Family Systems Model, And The Kars4Kids Jingle

There is nothing more important than our mental and physical health. Take advantage of all resources in growing as the whole person you are meant to be.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #293 – Processing Emotions

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This poster is from the Gottman Institute on how to process difficult emotions. This poster is just another tool in your toolbox for promoting good mental health.

You’re welcome.

Carry on.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #292 – Why Do You Attract The Same Negative Relationships

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It is so frustrating going from relationship to relationship, all kinds of relationships that don’t work, jobs, friends, significant others, over and over. There is an answer.

At some point you learned unhealthy thought and action patterns from repeated emotional and/or physical abuse learned as love.

As a result we recreate those primary relationships so we can heal them and make us feel better in return. It doesn’t work, we repeat the patterns unconsciously, and you may need great mindfulness and therapy.

Dr. Tracey Marks, psychiatrist, has made an informative video about this subject. Please watch it, you will find truth and healing.

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #288 – Others Stories

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I was listening to the former Miss America of 1958 Marilyn Van Derbur story who is a survivor of incest. This is not the first time I have listened to her story and I read her book.

I listen to a lot of other people’s personal survivor stories, these stories remind me that I am not the only one in the world who is a survivor of mentally ill caregivers. I am not the only one in the world who has to recover from horrific childhood conditions.

Listening to many courageous folks talk about their trauma experiences and their personal journey to recovery validates my trauma experience and personal recovery journey. And I am sure when I share my story of trauma I am an inspiration also.

I have given speeches and written about my life’s experiences for a long time now and I know I am taking the chance of stigmatizing myself as a victim but that is OK because as long as I can help someone on their own journey of trauma recovery I have done the right thing.

Here’s the takeaway: Share your story, listen to other folds stories that resonate with you. Your life’s story will be an inspiration and upliftment to someone, whether you know the person or not. Sharing your story is one small act of kindness and compassion for yourself and for someone else.

Thanks for reading and thanks for your courage.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #286 – Violence

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Violence is the last act of hopelessness.

One believes there is no other response available.

One believes they cannot change their circumstances.

Violence does not solve problems rather it temporarily pushes it away.

There are many factors why one would resort to violence, however, we are thinking beings and we have an enormous capacity to figure things out. Before we lose it and use violence take a moment to walk away, cool down, get help, talk it out, google alternatives to acting out, do something, anything that will keep you safe.

There is no point in dishing out violence if it will put you in jail, or the hospital or have some other negative long term consequences.

Think before you act, whatever you are facing there are always alternatives to violence.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #285 – The Power of Words

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Sticks and stones can break your bones and words can hurt you too.

Words have the power to explain, and uplift and shame and sooth and entice and many more ways to influence us, every day and in all ways.

How do you communicate? Do you think before you speak?

Words are intrinsic to self examination, sharing information, connecting emotionally. Words can trigger pain or can build bridges or burn false beliefs.

You get my point, the words you speak to yourself are as important as the words you speak to others.

Are you kind or mean with your internal dialog? Do you repeat fears and worries, do you take the time to listen to the your internal dialog and distinguish between the false lies or the quiet truth. Do you take the time to be quiet, still, grounded?

How you speak to yourself has a dramatic effect, if you put yourself down all the time you will start to believe it even if it is not true.

Start by paying attention to what you are telling yourself and make an effort to speak to yourself with lovingkindness. You are so very important, please start now.