Thoughtful Thursday – #234 – Emotional Triggers

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Sometimes we feel weird all of a sudden and don’t know why. This can be an emotional trigger. Perhaps you were reminded of a bad time in your life and the feelings and memories are buried deep in your mind and body.

If you can detach from the trigger for a moment by writing or some other grounding activity you will get a better perspective of how your inner world is working. Remember: a lot of recall is subconscious and it usually comes up as a feeling then a thought then an action.

With compassion, acknowledge what your inner world is sharing with you  and thank it for sharing the hurt and trauma of a long-held memory.

By this method you can process and rearrange any painful memories.

 

 

 

 

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Thoughtful Thursday #233 – The Common Denominator

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Shortly after any horrific shooting it is common that politicians and rallies to hop on the bandwagon to complain that the common denominator is  guns. Take away guns and there will be no more shootings.

That is not true, I can’t understand why ninety-nine percent of the public don’t mention that the common denominator is mental health. Normal people don’t go around shooting people, nor do they commit crimes. Most people are living their lives as best they can with families and jobs and everyday ups and downs.

There must have been red flags all along with these perpetrators. But what can the average person do about it.

How about starting to keep notes about what is seen and heard. If anything happens at least there will be some log to back up much-needed treatment. Anonymously report suspicious activity to the authorities. Do take any precautions to keep yourself safe.

The mentally ill cannot be forced into treatment but they can get help especially if they repeatedly violate the law, have chronic homelessness, aggressiveness and so on and you can be part of helping them. Look up Laura’s Law and Kendra’s Law.

Mental illness runs in my family. There were very little services available those many years ago and as a result there was so much violence and dysfunction and damage emotionally, financially and physically.

We live in wonderful times where finding information and services for mental health issues are readily available. If you or someone you know has mental health issues or need services, get on the internet and search for information talk to your doctor. Keep searching for the services you need. There is no reason to live in the dark, disturbing world of mental illness.

 

Begin Again

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OK, you started something and didn’t finish it. You made a commitment and didn’t follow through. You promised something and totally forgot. You got down on yourself for not finishing, not following through and forgetting what was important.

Stop a moment. Without judgement…………………

Begin again at that project, begin again on that commitment, renew those promises.

Begin as many times as it takes, reorganize your methods, figure out what you don’t want to commit to.

There are no rules about beginnings and endings. You make your own rules. Begin as many times as it takes to do what you decide to do. Help yourself in creating your own life. Begin as many times as you need. It’s a perfectly OK thing to do.

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Thoughtful Thursday #232 Grief

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It is not easy to feel grief, we avoid it at all costs with distractions galore.

Allowing yourself to feel grief and cry and rage and weep are very healing actions to take you forward.

Grief that is not felt is invisible and holds you back. Clues that you are not feeling grief is lots of unfounded fear, perhaps you feel numb, anxious.

How can you get to a point where you can organically feel grief? Writing, talking to someone you trust, exercise, getting educated on recognizing grief, find a support group, being really good to yourself because you are hurting.

Grief work is a very personal journey, there is no timeframe, no right and wrong to process grief and your coping strategy will belong only to you. Only you have to validate this.

Is grief work easy, no it is not. It’s uncomfortable, the good news is that every opportunity you have to process and express grief the quicker it goes away.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #231 – Questions

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Question everything you do. What is the reason and purpose of your behavior.

Question the motives of others. Ask why, ask for clarification.

It’s perfectly acceptable to try to make sense of your life and circumstances.

If someone has a problem with you asking questions, ask why?

You have the right and responsibility to yourself and your life to make it the best, you never need to justify bettering your life and life education to anyone.

You only have to answer to yourself.

Thoughtful Thursday #230 – Wholeness

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We look for emotional wholeness all the time whether we are aware of it or not. The dark side of finding wholeness is through addictions, busy work, false beliefs about ourselves, looking outside of ourselves for answers to our emptiness just to name a few.

Life can send us confusing curves, our self-esteem is crushed more than once, and none of us is whole all the time, this is the bad news.

The good news is achieving wholeness is a process. As Carl Jung states wholeness is a process of letting go, change and growth.

Your mental health requires that you find your own balance of physical, spiritual and mental health.

Is it an easy or linear process? Nope. The process is one day at a time, one moment at a time, all as you live your life with tons of distractions.

The benefit you get from finding a way to be balanced in your physical, spiritual and mental health is priceless. You create the life that is exclusively for you. How cool is that. Way Cool.

Carry on…………………..

 

Thoughtful Thursday #229 – Step Away From The Mess

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Step away from generational family dysfunction.

Step away from emotionally dangerous and perverted people.

Step away from escaping the way you feel.

Step away from codependency.

Step away from tolerating the unacceptable.

Step away from self-doubt and sabotage.

 

Step Towards Yourself, Your Recovery, Your Self Acceptance, Your Wholeness, Your Healing, Your Opportunities, Your Wonderful Life.

Celebrate your success and know you have come very far already.

Thoughtful Thursday #228 – The Perfect Sin

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Complicit silence means to remain silent and complicit of a questionable act.

Complicit means involved in some wrongdoing.

Willful ignorance means refusing to be informed in bad faith otherwise known as ignoring the facts.

This amounts to a perfect sin, the sinner is perfectly lazy in not making effort to check facts, rethink their beliefs and opinions, being afraid of being wrong and knowing on some level they are actually wrong or actually getting involved in knowing truth in any significant way and staying close minded and blindly following along as if nothing is wrong.

These sinners are witness to domestic violence, child abuse, animal cruelty, bullying, turning away instead of helping, cheering wrongdoing because they are too passive to be a fighter and a sundry of crimes against our fellow-man.

Complicit silence and willful ignorance are mutual pals, can’t have one without the other. Both are incredibly harmful.

If you feel you can’t get involved and are a  witness to an injustice then say a prayer to your favorite deity for a positive outcome.

Send good wishes and pure feeling to the offended party.

And…………. you can call the appropriate authorities anonymously, talk to a mental health professional for advice, take an active part in getting involved to help save someone’s life by getting informed. If the offended is a child talk to their teacher. It’s OK to be courageous even if you are scared.

None of this is easy, but to remain in complicit silence and willful ignorance is so very harmful to all involved.

If you are a recipient of complicit silence and willful ignorance don’t remain quiet, fight back, find a way to get out of there, don’t give up. You are worth the effort. And you deserve the best life.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #227 – Non Attachment

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I am a bit of a hoarder – there I said it. I hoard stuff and not just a little bit, but a lot of stuff.

I’m trying to find a way around getting unattached to my stuff. But it’s hard. I have books and  clothes and fabric and tools and dishes and antiques and artwork and many memories and furniture and on and on.

One part of me is entwined with a strange comfort of having so much stuff.

And the other part is teary eyed at the thought of losing the comfort I feel surrounded by my stuff.

I did manage to sell one thing online and it was an interesting emotional experience.

I got a little handmade African canister for free and I didn’t “emotionally” want to let it go.  I listed it online to sell it and when the winning bid came in I knew it had to go.

As I wrapped it up to mail it out I was sad. I don’t know exactly why but that little canister made me happy on some level.

One part of me feels efficient, mature, responsible even proud of making a few bucks online.

The other part of me feels sad at the loss of a beautiful object.

Alas, the efficient part of me won out.

Non attachment takes great effort and in my case not all at once.

My non attachment practice is to slowly drop items I don’t really need one at a time.

As I wallow between hollow sadness of letting go of my stuff and losing track of stuff that has been temporarily mine I slowly move more of my stuff on for someone else to enjoy.

Thoughtful Thursday #226 – Emotional Numbing

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Emotional numbing comes in two forms:

  1. detaching emotionally as a coping method to avoid triggering overwhelming feelings.
  2. detaching emotionally as a form of keeping boundaries and protecting from any psychic trauma.

What does it feel like to be emotionally numb? You feel like a ghost watching and observing others go along in their lives and you feel so invisible that you can’t interact with anyone. This state of mind is very painful. You feel unfocused and ungrounded. Can’t communicate or think straight.

There can be many causes for emotional numbing only you can say how it occurred in your life.

So how do you manage in the meantime.

  1. identify triggers, what caused your initial shutdown.
  2. write it out uncensored on your computer or by hand.
  3. talk to a therapist or trusted friend.
  4. stay busy.
  5. exercise.
  6. eat and sleep well.
  7. remember, the feeling is temporary.

It may take some time to come out of emotional numbness but that is the OK. Mental health is very important and it takes time to understand what is going on in our minds. Is it a linear process, not at all. Healing has its own time table, have patience with yourself and in the meantime take really good care of yourself. You are worth it.