Thoughtful Thursday #317 – Writing

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Writing about writing, I write to get clarity in what I am struggling with. Lately for some reason it has been really difficult to write about anything.

I am not sure why, I have a hunch that this resistance is from some internal, unconscious, conflict. One part of me wants to write her heart out and the other parts makes her forget because it may bring too much attention to us. She is afraid of people, she wants to stay invisible, it’s safer this way.

I want this scared part of me to know that we will be OK, I will never let anyone hurt or humiliate her again. We are safe now and she can rest and not be on guard so much.

I hope she hears me and can trust me.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #316 – Secrets

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Some secrets are good, like not revealing what a birthday gift is or a Christmas gift or some other information that is not harmful in some way.

Some secrets are confidential, embarrassing, shameful.

Some secrets should not be held in your mind if it is making you uncomfortable or feel upset.

Should you reveal all questionable secrets? Not to everyone, but if you are holding secrets that are becoming explosive and tearing you apart emotionally, it is very important to reveal these secrets to someone trusted like a therapist or write them in a journal.

By revealing secrets that are harmful it acts like a steam release, you will feel better and get some emotional distance in order to calm down.

Keeping secrets can make lots of trauma and that is deadly to one’s mental health.

If you must keep secrets at least release them in a safe way.

Your mental health is at stake and you are entitled to a peaceful life not matter what it takes.

Thoughtful Thursday #315 – Self Awareness and Self Consciousness

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Self-conscious is when you feel extreme awareness of your appearance or actions. It is the knowledge of your own existence. Could feel uncomfortable at times. Self-consciousness is much more about what is external.

Self-awareness is when you can see yourself clearly with some objectivity with reflection and introspection. Self-awareness is much about what is going in internally.

If we can find a small wedge of detachment in your thinking, we can get a sense of either self-consciousness or self-awareness.

Developing a healthy sense of self requires that we know about both subjects, the value is the better you know yourself the better you know others which makes for healthier relationships.

Self-awareness is quite important because it allows us to deeply know ourselves better, what makes us tick, what makes us angry, happy, bored or interested. We can look honestly at our own actions with clarity and choose a wiser path.

Learning to have a healthy sense of self is a lifelong journey, there is no one way to learn, everyone is unique. It is so important to care enough about ourselves to take the time to know ourselves intimately.

You will gain confidence, insight, direction and goodness and no one can ever take that from you.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #314 – Opinions

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Everyone has an opinion and in the age of the internet that can be dangerous. Opinions are based on the perspective and mental health of who is making the opinion.

Today there are so many ways of lashing out and destroying others that no one wants to talk up because there is no room for discussion. There is the belief ‘I disagree with you so I am right’.

What a bunch of nonsense, where is the freedom to safely express our own opinions. Why is there this new phenomenon of ‘Cancel Culture’, how has it become OK to attack groups one does not agree with.

The answer is: the mental health of the haters, it would be very interesting to find out the upbringing and lifestyles of the haters.

Those who lash out at authority have authority issues.

Those who defend criminal behavior have criminal mindset and create lots of trauma and drama.

Those who are secretly harboring any kind of resentment towards any group will defend that group who acts out that particular resentment, it is classically passive aggressive.

Those with their own agenda will take advantage of the ignorant and weak minded to gain power.

Those with power will manipulate those who are followers instead of leaders.

Kind people want kindness and the good for all and there are plenty of people out there being kind.

Happy people want happiness and well being for all and would not hurt anyone and there are people out there spreading happiness.

Those who are open hearted would not insist that they are right and others are wrong but instead strive to hear both sides and there are people out there with great open hearts.

Kind, happy, open hearted, honest and warm people and their groups are quiet, there is no need or room for trauma, drama.

Before you spurt out opinions please fact check what you are involved in, is the group for the betterment of everyone or only a few.

Our world needs helpful, honest guidance for so many who feel lost and afraid.

Please choose wisely.

And that is my opinion.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #313 – Being An Individual

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There is no team in the game of life, we are all individuals, we may belong to groups, have families, friends, careers but we primarily have to depend on ourselves.

We go out into the world vulnerable, and we must realize it’s all up to ourselves, and at times it’s scary.

As a result, from all the different experiences we encounter we end up building our character and confidence which is something no one can ever take away.

It’s up to us to correct, learn and take care of ourselves and perhaps others along the way. Being an individual is finding the meaning of life for you and no one else and the is the way it is supposed to be.

Thoughtful Thursday #312 – Ritual Sexual Abuse

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Trigger Warning, this is the work of Ellen P. Lacter PHD. who has the courage to examine Ritual Sexual Abuse and spreading the word of advocacy for victims of this horrific and sadistic abuse.

She has treated both child victims and adult survivors and has written in depth articles showing the effects of Ritual Sexual Abuse and the mindset of the perpetrator.

I am sharing this tough article because I refuse to say silent about child sexual abuse and sharing articles like this enlightens everyone, child sexual abuse is a crime that needs to end.

 

http://endritualabuse.org/category/what-is-ritual-abuse/

Full Article Index

Thoughtful Thursday #310 – Your Only Job

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Your only really significant job is to know yourself so well that no one can move you.

Know yourself without:  addictions and distractions, without numbing your feelings with any substance or activity, seek peace, move away from drama, put away social media daily for a break, go to therapy, do grief work, find groundedness.

Self discovery is a lifelong journey and will have you grow beyond your wildest imagination. Your life will shift and move organically to a life of happiness and contentment.

You are very important, so in your inner world, your mental health is important, your life is important.

As in Shakespeare’s Act 1, Scene III of the famous playHamlet, Polonius says:

‘This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Carry On.

Thoughtful Thursday #309 – In Service To Humanity

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With today’s negativity on TV and radio and magazines and hurt people acting out violently we can get sucked into the drama very easily and end up feeling hopeless and afraid.

Focusing on the external will make you feel you must react in some way. Not necessarily.

If you make your reference point external and have that run your day you are unwittingly acting from victim consciousness, when we operate from a victim consciousness we give away all our power to external people and events.

Note: people who are hurting aka victims, hurt other people which creates more victim consciousness. Think of the bully who has to hurt others because he/she is hurt.

When we meet angry events with the same polarity and divisiveness that created the angry event, and we are meeting those events with low level reactions and we are  postponing a greater world.

A world of peace, love, compassion, respect for all sentient beings, the openness to talk to one another and expand our wonderful world of exceptional humans and believe it or not, most people want this. Most people want to live in peace and safety.

Instead take a break from the negativity and choose a higher form of action:

  1. refuse to get taken in by unhealthy actions of those who wish to harm.
  2. have gratitude for the ability to choose your reactions.
  3. find reasons to feel positive.
  4. find people who you can love and that love you.
  5. send good wishes and pure feelings to everyone.
  6. take the time to think and understand what is going on in your life.
  7. take the time to think about how to react.
  8. be kind whenever possible.

Let’s build each other up instead of tearing down, let’s be of a greater service to humanity. Let’s be united for a better world with positivity. All of us.

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #308 – Judgement VS Opinion

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According to Google:

Opinions are beliefs, not necessarily based on facts. They are personal preferences that take into consideration one’s mood, the mindset of the crowd being addressed and the overall environment of the situation. Judgement is more of an assessment which takes information into consideration.

Let’s step back for a moment, with recent triggering events that are still resonating in the world, emotional cries for unseen justice, threatening gestures to and from strangers, fear of speaking our mind, forced silence and an incredible amount of ungroundedness and no direction, let’s take a moment to reflect. What behaviors are we observing from humanity and what are we observing about ourselves.

Not only are these events triggering for trauma survivors but also for most of our friends and neighbors and those that we wish we could get to know better.

As a self care option we can use the above definitions of opinions and judgement to help us define and name what we feel and identify some of the inner workings of our mind especially when triggered with uncertainty. Ask yourself if you are reacting with opinion or considering facts.

What is within my control and what is not within my control.

Let’s practice kindness to yourself first then to others, visualize a peaceful place, quiet your mind, listen to music, check in with yourself, what is your self talk, talk to a therapist, be self compassionate,

It’s really important to find a way to become grounded and as peaceful as possible, from this perspective we can navigate our world much more effectively and in an mature matter.

You are important, you are special, you belong on this planet, let’s be good to ourselves and others by not being swayed by the rash opinions of others, let’s be as calm as possible. The world and all it’s beautiful inhabitants need great calm and understanding right now.

And if you are reading this you are one of the ambassadors of peace.

Carry on.