Growing up with one of my caregivers being schizophrenic and the other an addict made my childhood a living hell. Mental illness was the elephant in the room that no one talked about. Relatives kept away, no one wanted to get involved and there were not many resources for a child protection back then.
I am here to say that if you are feeling unsafe in your home and you are under 18, reach out to a school counselor or your teacher even a police officer, you can even walk into a criminal court and go to the victim services office for advice.
If you are over 18 and you are feeling unsafe in your home reach out to a therapist, find supportive allies, start creating distance with those who are unsafe. As an adult you can move around easier than a child can. You can leave your situation.
Being closely involved with those who have serious mental illness can make you feel crazy and unsure of your own sanity. It’s not you. Protect yourself because your very sanity and life depends on it.
You will come up against some who don’t want to get involved, that’s OK. Keep reaching out and you will prevail and regain the peace you deserve.
There are thousands of events going on around the world today celebrating women. I think that’s great.
However, being a woman, every day, is always a celebration. If you don’t feel you can celebrate and honor being female, it’s time to do an inventory of your strengths as a person. Some inventory will be exclusive to being female, some inventory will be for males and females.
Here’s some examples of an inventory of strengths:
- Birthing children and raising them.
- Being an explorer.
- Learning, teaching, loving, earning.
- Assertive, strong, bravery, honesty, kindness.
- Fairness, perseverance, creativity.
This is a very short list of strengths women contribute to the world.
So make your own personal list, I am sure it will be a lot longer than this one.
And I would like to thank all the men who support women. It’s time for teamwork to make a better, more peaceful and progressive world.
One of my FB friends gave me this idea. I am passing it along to you. Hope it helps.
It’s a detailed article about cognitive bias that we all carry at one time or another.
The better you know yourself the better your life experience.
Confirmation Bias is when we search for information that validates our existing opinions. It’s a form of wishful thinking because confirmation bias is not grounded in evidence. Confirmation bias is based on prejudice and assumptions. Even in the face of overwhelming truth one may still believe whatever one wants to believe.
This is a form of self-deception because it acts like a drug against any harsh reality we do not wish to examine.
But all is not lost. It’s common to look for validation of our beliefs. We all do it.
The takeaway is to set up our beliefs and look for the contrary. See if we may be missing something. Let’s find the self-confidence to look at a situation without appeasing our ego but rather to find those uncomfortable truths we wish to avoid at all costs. President Lincoln encouraged debate and discussion even with this rivals.
We need to do the same thing with our thinking too. Debate and discuss. It won’t be easy but so worth the peace of mind.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and many share their love and enthusiasm for our families, lovers, friends.
Let’s not forget to give a big Valentines to ourselves. After all we are very important too. Here’s some helpful ways to love yourself.
- Stop calling yourself names. eg. I am such a jerk.
- Stop thinking about the worst case scenario. eg. The world will end if I say the wrong thing.
- Identify negative beliefs you have about yourself and get rid of them. eg. I am a really bad cook.
- Rewrite and reframe your internal dialog. eg. I am a good dancer.
- Celebrate yourself. It’s OK to give yourself a reward.
- Visit a therapist. Self examination is healing.
- Support yourself with positive self talk.
Every day is a chance to take good care of yourself and be your own Valentine.
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
I know how you feel. Betrayed and abandoned by someone who you thought cared.
If you can feel betrayal and abandonment you are the healthy one.
People who constantly hurt and abandon are the broken ones.
I know it’s hard to do but………….
Feel it – breathe – carry on.
An emotional trigger is reacting to a present situation with the pain of an unresolved wound of the past.
For example, road rage is never about the jerk cutting you off. Your rage is from feeling helplessness.
Getting lost and given the wrong directions. Your anger is from betrayal.
People being nosey or rude. Your annoyance is from your boundaries being violated.
Untrue gossip and rumors about you. Your trust had been destroyed.
We all have bad days and left bewildered by others behavior towards us. But why are we triggered?
If we have overreacted it’s a trigger from the past. To get past this energy sapping overreaction behavior go back to the time you think this wound might have happened.
Write about it, uncensored, exercise, ground yourself, get back into your body, do art. listen to music, talk to a professional about what you are feeling, meditate, talk it out.
It is not easy work uncovering our wounds, but once they are uncovered they begin to heal and overreaction ends.
It’s worth the effort.
Art can be many things, for example, like painting, writing, singing, cooking, fashion, music, etc. Creativity in the arts is subjective. The beauty or chaos of the creation belongs to the beholder.
There is a place in this world for everyone’s creations. There is someone or many someones that will resonate with what you create. Whether it’s a painting or an article or a cake, there will be those that love it.
Therefore, as creative creatures we must never give up in creating and sharing our creations with the world at large. Share your creations on a blog, on Facebook, your family, friends or neighbors. Share what you have, someone needs to see it, perhaps to brighten their day.
And if you get a negative remark on your creation, just brush it off. Remarks are from those who are either jealous, out of touch with the beauty in any creation, or just plain miserable. Don’t let that bring you down. Keep creating and keep showing.
The world needs your creativity.
Ever wonder why you have certain beliefs that you stubbornly refuse to unbelieve? Eg. Only my religion is the right one.
Which ideas do you believe are true? Eg. All electronic equipment is reliable.
How many beliefs fall into the broad generalization category? Eg. All women can sew and all men can fix a car.
Is the belief based on emotion or evidence or did you swallow a second-hand opinion.
Self-examination of our beliefs is one true path to freedom. But be warned. It is not the easiest.
Snow blizzards can be a lot of fun.
Blizzard Ice Cream from Dairy Queen is fun.
But a blizzard of whirling uncontrollable thoughts is not fun.
It’s frustrating and scary. To stop those windy wizard of flurry, pirouetting, gyrating confusing thoughts, here are a few grounding suggestions.
- Count your breath slowly.
- Listen to Music.
- Do some art.
- Redirect your thoughts momentarily.
- Write it out uncensored.
- Watch your thoughts and let them go.
That should keep you busy for a while and help slow the blizzard of thoughts to a balmy breeze.