Alan Robarge is a wonderful therapist and an expert in my opinion on Attachment Trauma. Have a look at this video as he explains trauma bonding through shame.
Jul30
Monthly Archives: July 2020
Jul17
Thoughtful Thursday #310 – Your Only Job
Your only really significant job is to know yourself so well that no one can move you.
Know yourself without: addictions and distractions, without numbing your feelings with any substance or activity, seek peace, move away from drama, put away social media daily for a break, go to therapy, do grief work, find groundedness.
Self discovery is a lifelong journey and will have you grow beyond your wildest imagination. Your life will shift and move organically to a life of happiness and contentment.
You are very important, so in your inner world, your mental health is important, your life is important.
As in Shakespeare’s Act 1, Scene III of the famous play, Hamlet, Polonius says:
‘This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Carry On.
Jul9
Thoughtful Thursday #309 – In Service To Humanity
With today’s negativity on TV and radio and magazines and hurt people acting out violently we can get sucked into the drama very easily and end up feeling hopeless and afraid.
Focusing on the external will make you feel you must react in some way. Not necessarily.
If you make your reference point external and have that run your day you are unwittingly acting from victim consciousness, when we operate from a victim consciousness we give away all our power to external people and events.
Note: people who are hurting aka victims, hurt other people which creates more victim consciousness. Think of the bully who has to hurt others because he/she is hurt.
When we meet angry events with the same polarity and divisiveness that created the angry event, and we are meeting those events with low level reactions and we are postponing a greater world.
A world of peace, love, compassion, respect for all sentient beings, the openness to talk to one another and expand our wonderful world of exceptional humans and believe it or not, most people want this. Most people want to live in peace and safety.
Instead take a break from the negativity and choose a higher form of action:
- refuse to get taken in by unhealthy actions of those who wish to harm.
- have gratitude for the ability to choose your reactions.
- find reasons to feel positive.
- find people who you can love and that love you.
- send good wishes and pure feelings to everyone.
- take the time to think and understand what is going on in your life.
- take the time to think about how to react.
- be kind whenever possible.
Let’s build each other up instead of tearing down, let’s be of a greater service to humanity. Let’s be united for a better world with positivity. All of us.
Jul2
Thoughtful Thursday #308 – Judgement VS Opinion
According to Google:
Opinions are beliefs, not necessarily based on facts. They are personal preferences that take into consideration one’s mood, the mindset of the crowd being addressed and the overall environment of the situation. Judgement is more of an assessment which takes information into consideration.
Let’s step back for a moment, with recent triggering events that are still resonating in the world, emotional cries for unseen justice, threatening gestures to and from strangers, fear of speaking our mind, forced silence and an incredible amount of ungroundedness and no direction, let’s take a moment to reflect. What behaviors are we observing from humanity and what are we observing about ourselves.
Not only are these events triggering for trauma survivors but also for most of our friends and neighbors and those that we wish we could get to know better.
As a self care option we can use the above definitions of opinions and judgement to help us define and name what we feel and identify some of the inner workings of our mind especially when triggered with uncertainty. Ask yourself if you are reacting with opinion or considering facts.
What is within my control and what is not within my control.
Let’s practice kindness to yourself first then to others, visualize a peaceful place, quiet your mind, listen to music, check in with yourself, what is your self talk, talk to a therapist, be self compassionate,
It’s really important to find a way to become grounded and as peaceful as possible, from this perspective we can navigate our world much more effectively and in an mature matter.
You are important, you are special, you belong on this planet, let’s be good to ourselves and others by not being swayed by the rash opinions of others, let’s be as calm as possible. The world and all it’s beautiful inhabitants need great calm and understanding right now.
And if you are reading this you are one of the ambassadors of peace.
Carry on.
purelysimplewords 