Category Archives: Blogs

Thoughtful Thursdays #102 Trauma

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“Trauma survivors have symptoms instead of memories.” (Harvey, 1990) Adapted from Bremner & Marmer, 1998, Copyright 2007 Dr. Fisher

Trauma comes in many forms. Violence of any kind, addictions in both the user and observer, unavailable caregivers, isolation, and poverty are just a few ways of experiencing trauma.

Trauma is toxic mentally and physically because it stops you from maturing and living a full life.  The symptoms of trauma are depression, irritability, loss of interest, numbing, decreased concentration, insomnia, emotional overwhelm, hopelessness, shame and worthlessness, little or no memories, nightmares, flashbacks, hyper-vigilance, mistrust, anxiety, panic attacks, chronic pain, headaches, substance abuse, eating disorders, feeling unreal and out-of-body, self-destructive, loss of a sense of “Who I am”.

That’s a lot of information and possible triggers but they are symptoms of something that holds you back. Trauma effects everything you do with and without your awareness.

To heal from trauma is obvious. Find a trauma therapist. There are tons of information available to read and passionate therapists who want to help you heal.

If you realize you have been a victim that’s good. You will move from victim to survivor to one who thrives to a warrior.

You are strong, reach out and heal.

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Rejection

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It’s no fun when someone rejects you. Especially if you had  great communication before hand.

Sometimes you will know the reason they back off. Sometimes you don’t.

It is OK. The pain of rejection and disappointment will wear off

Remember: Poor behavior is a reflection on them. Not you.

If they can’t talk to you about what is bothering them, then they are dishonest, childish and disrespectful.

You don’t need that negativity – just keep moving.

Thoughful Thursdays – #98 – No Obstructions

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If you had no obstruction inward or outward and  no obtrusive thoughts, what would you do with your life?

1. what would you do for a living?

2. where would you spend your time?

3. would you travel?

4. would you spend time learning about yourself and all the parts you have neglected?

5. would you write a book or read all the books that you are interested in?

6. where would you live?

7. what would you change?

8. would you create a new life based on your loves and likes?

9. would you become a hermit and meditate on life’s mysteries?

10. would you be afraid of your new-found freedom?

Make a list. It’s usually the last things on your list that are the truest because your ego wants to be first.

Happy freedom and discovery.

Thoughtful Thursdays #92 – Change

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Change is one of my favorite subjects. Change is the only thing that is consistent in this earthly life.

Nothing is stagnant. Nature does not give up on surviving. It is just creative in how to survive. Look at those creepy bugs that have been around for millennia. Or a flower growing in the ground after a volcano.

We are the same way. In a moment your life can change for the better or worse. Our survival skills kick in here and if you are the first to respond with kindness to yourself and others change is easier to digest.

Change is not easy sometimes it comes in subtly at other times it is a roaring river or tornado. Either way if you are kind without attachment to the results change is easier to go along with.

 

 

 

Your Very Own Super Powers

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I bet you didn’t know that you have super powers.

You have the power to not let anything disturb you.

You have the power to go with the flow of life.

You have the power to see an obstacle as a stepping stone.

You have the power to discern what is true and what is false.

You have the power to walk away.

You have the power to create the life you want.

Go on and do what it takes to make a wonderful life.

You are a superhero.

Death

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From Pema Chrodon

Death is Certain

The hour of Death is not Certain

Pick what is Important

Fear

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The places that scare you are not meant to hurt you.

Fear is meant to get your attention.

For example, worry and procrastination are forms of fear. Find a way to detach from the worry and procrastination. Detach emotionally, be an observer.

In that place you will find the lie that you are not good enough.

Don’t believe lies because they come from fear.

Face the fear and move in any direction that will help you be the person you are most happy to be.

 

Thoughtful Thursdays #91 Arguing With Yourself

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Are you unhappy with what is happening at the moment or events that have happened in the past?

That is arguing with yourself.

Frustrated and overreacting with everyday dramas?

That is arguing with yourself.

Are you over thinking, feeling stuck and have racing thoughts?

That is arguing with yourself.

Worried, fearful, stinking thinking?

That is arguing with yourself.

The antidote:

Accept what is going on right now without judgement.

There really is nothing in your current circumstances

that can stop you from making the changes you need to make to be happy.

Stop arguing with yourself.

Thoughtful Thursdays # 86 – Coloring Books

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Coloring books are mostly thought of  as a children’s activity. We all remember a time as a child that we sat with a coloring book and a new box of crayons.

Coloring books are not just for children. I went to the dollar store a few weeks ago and bought three coloring books and a new box of 64 crayons. I just wanted to color so I indulged myself.

I used only my non dominant hand to color. I went inside the lines and outside the lines. I noticed I couldn’t color very fast so my entire being slowed down. Coloring became a meditation, a stress reliever, my thoughts slowed down. I felt little again. Feeling little felt natural.

I was reconnected with simplicity, coloring was a quick creative fix. I noticed when I was finished with a few pages I was more focused and calm as I resumed my daily life. And occasionally forgot myself and used my non dominant hand for various actions like writing and picking things up.  That made me smile.

What a wonderful form of therapy. Cheap, works fast and gives both sides of your brain an equal workout.

I bought the simplist coloring books however there are many types of coloring books. Check your local craft shop or bookstore.

I plan on continuing coloring.

Try feeling like a child again and color. It’s endearing and delightful and it will brighten up your day.

Happy Coloring.

Blue, Pink, Indigo, Purple, Yellow, Cornflower, Timberwolf, Magenta, Black, Orange, etc., etc., etc…………………………

 

Thoughtful Thursdays # 85 – Going To Fearful Places

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Machig Lardron was a famous female 11th century Tibetan tantric Buddhist teacher. Her birth was predicted by Yeshe Tsogyel.  She was as mystic and shaman. She wanted to know how to end human suffering. She wanted to wake up so she could heal the suffering in the world. So she asked her teacher at the time what was the best and fastest method of achieving this. This is what he told her. She followed it to the letter and gained much spiritual power. And you can too.

1. Confess your hidden faults

2. Approach what you find repulsive

3. Help those you think you cannot help ( also translated as to help those you do not want to help)

4. Anything you are attached to, give that ( let it go )

5. Go to the places that scare you

Each slogan amounts to the same thing. Facing your fears.

1. What am I afraid of admitting

2. What do I find completely and utterly unapproachable

3. Who do I not want to help because I am afraid to admit my true feelings

4. What am I afraid of losing

5. Where am I afraid to go to in the real world and where and I afraid to go in the dark recesses of my mind.

As a spiritual practice of mindfullness examine each fear you have and face it. What is this dark side telling you.

There is tremendous benefit in facing fear rather than running from it.

You will gain a confidence no one can ever take from you.

You will be a guiding force for yourself and for others to emulate.

There is so much strength in you that you don’t take credit for.

Do it now. See fear for what it really is. Lies. Don’t believe the lies. Don’t believe you can’t do something.

There is nothing that cannot be solved. You are more powerful than any trouble. Use your own power.

You can do it. Believe in yourself and do it now.