Whether you have chosen through your intellect to forgive or had a spiritual experience and spontaneously forgiven there is one element still at play.
Healing……………….Just because you forgive does not mean you have healed from the injustice inflicted on you. Healing takes time.
Don’t forgive to speed up healing. It doesn’t work that way. Healing is on a different level, more on a physical level along with intellectual level. We hold the things that need forgiving in our body and mind. Healing is an ongoing process and perhaps so is forgiveness.
There is no right or wrong way to forgive or heal. It’s your journey to find what fits for you.
You feel sad, people are rude, you are munching on junk food, your bag of chips is empty and you are down in the dumps.
Well pumpkin, take heart, humans have feelings, some can be explained and some are random. You have permission to be human, you don’t have to control your feelings.
Try to let feelings move through you before reacting. Acknowledge those uncomfortable feelings and release them. Will you be able to do this on a first try? Nope. Try as many times as you need to.
Feelings have life spans, some are quick, some last a while, some seem to never go away. Resist the urge to analyze every feeling or thought.
Here are some suggestions for self-care while you are feeling a little or a lot off.
- talk kindly and with compassion to yourself.
- it’s OK to feel your feelings.
- read a book.
- listen to music.
- find a healthy distraction like cute animal videos, take a walk in nature, go to a gym.
- talk to a trusted friend.
- light a candle.
- get together with friends.
- be good to your body.
- try coloring with your non dominant hand.
As you move through your internal life remember, it’s OK to get good at being good to yourself.
I have a recurring theme in my life, when things don’t go the way I want them to go because of distractions or obstacles I try to remember to hang in there. For a long time I did not do that I just gave up.
I can’t give up anymore. If I am distracted I refocus my attention. If there is an obstacle I handle it and begin again. Each time I begin again is a step forward and that is all that matters.
One step at a time.
We become ashamed of ourselves based on others opinions and unrealistic views of who we should be.
Maybe we were told we were the family idiot or not good at anything and don’t deserve to exist.
When we were young we believed these things from our caregivers because we thought of them as gods. Not good gods either, more like frightening monsters.
As adults we have issues with trust, intimacy, boundaries etc. We are scared because we believe we are flawed with secrets of self-hatred, addictions, depraved things we have done and so on.
What is the answer, there is no easy answer but there is an answer. I am going to shout this out:
EVERYONE IS FLAWED, YOU ARE NOT ALONE, WE HAVE ALL BEEN STUPID, PERVERSE, WE ARE ALL ODD, INSECURE, PRETENDING TO KNOW IT ALL, WICKED, BAD TEMPERED, TRYING VERY HARD TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER GROUP OF HUMAN BEINGS.
Let’s stop judging ourselves and others based on unrealistic views coming from media, dysfunctional families and violence, it’s far better to accept ourselves and others based on our humanness. Let’s celebrate our differences and laugh at the strangeness of our human existence. We are all in the same boat of trying to live a decent life. Let’s pat ourselves on the back and be supportive of others who are trying too.