Tag Archives: joy

Thoughtful Thursday #289 – Resistance and How to Overcome It

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Resistance comes in many forms, such as avoidance, addiction, distraction, forgetting, repression, transference, compulsion etc.

We use these forms of resistance because of anxiety.

Behind the anxiety is a fear.

It’s a simple formula to remember, find the fear and the anxiety and resistance goes away, but so very hard to apply.

The answer to uncovering what you are resisting is in finding a safe way of expressing what you are thinking, For example, writing, a therapy that resonates with you, a support group are all safe to start with.

The idea is to find those small moments of clarity, moments of joy will return, and you will be ever so closer to the grounded adult self you need to be.

Thoughtful Thursday #280 – Processing Emotions In Vicarious Ways

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Vicarious – Meaning -experienced in the imagination through the feelings or actions of another person.

I never liked fluffy stories with forced happy endings like on the Hallmark channel,  I prefer to know what makes the characters tick even if there is a strange ending, on a regular basis I prefer non-fiction.

It is common that being in a psychologically dysfunctional environment growing up or as an adult it is unsafe to express our emotions.

When our emotions are not validated we can get them validated through music, art, reading stories, crime dramas, going to the movies, etc. you can add to the list.

We can better understand what we are feeling through these venues, we can relate to the struggles, fear, sadness, injustice or joy of the characters. By having these venues to relate to is a beginning to finding some safety within to express ourselves.

You are not alone, given the magnitude of how many people use these outlets all of us are using them to validate our own expressiveness.

Carry on. Express away.

You’ve Got To Feel It To Heal It

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That’s right, there is nothing worse than hiding from your feelings because until you feel them they will come out in unhealthy ways.

Depression is sadness turned inward. Are you avoiding happiness because you have unresolved sadness?

Then feel it to heal it.

Got some rage going on and you took out in a road rage incident?

Then feel it to heal it.

Shame running the show in your life?

Then feel it to heal it.

Feeling scared, lonely, disgusted, left out, jealous, embarrassed, disappointed, frustrated, shy, uncomfortable or guilty?

Then feel it to heal it.

There is no way around it, we must resolve, process and look at what we feel, even it’s really uncomfortable.

You will come out on the other side feeling joy,hopeful, friendly, brave, silly, grateful, loved, kind, secure, curious,proud, and confident.

After all, who wants to be stuck in misery.

Happy exploring your feelings.

 

 

 

Thoughtful thursdays # 68 The 35 Essential Insights of The Buddha compliled By Neil Legault

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The Buddha is one of my favorite teachers. Thank you to Mr. Legault for compiling these important teachings.

There’s a Buddhist story; one of the Buddha’s students approached him and asked “Are you the messiah?” No, he replied. “Well are you a healer?” “No.” He replied. “Well are you a teacher then?” “No.” He replied again. “Well then what are you?” Buddha replied ‘’I am awake.’’

Believe nothing. No matter where you read it, no matter who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and you own common sense.”

First, rely on the spirit and meaning of the teachings not on the words. Second, rely on the teachings not on the personality of the teacher. Third, rely on real wisdom. Not superficial interpretation. And fourth, rely on the essence on your pure wisdom mind. Not on judgemental perceptions.

If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let one meal pass without sharing it in some way.

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Neither fire nor wind, neither birth nor death, can erase our good deeds.

You yourself as much as anyone in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

There is no fire like greed, No crime like hatred, No sorrow like separation, No sickness like hunger of heart, And no joy like the joy of freedom.

Health, contentment and trust are your greatest possessions, and freedom your greatest joy.

Look within. Be still. Free from fear and attachment, know the sweet joy of living in The Way.

The thought manifests as the word. The word manifests as the deed. The deed develops into habit. And the habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and its ways with care. And let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings.

There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up pleasant relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.

The tongue, like a sharp knife, kills without drawing blood.

Words have the power to both destroy and to heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.

Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.

Everything is based on mind, is led by mind, is fashioned by mind. If you speak and act with a polluted mind, suffering will follow you, as the wheels of the oxcart follow the footsteps of the ox. Everything is based on mind, is led by mind, is fashioned by mind. If you speak and act with a pure mind, happiness will follow you, as a shadow clings to a form.

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace.

Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through love. This is an unalterable law.

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

What we think we become.

Fill your mind with compassion.

Pay no attention to the faults of others, things done or left undone by others. Consider only what by oneself is done or left undone.

An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.

Avoid all haughty, conceited, proud, and arrogant minds, and remain peaceful and subdued.

Generate compassion for lowly beings, and especially avoid despising or humiliating them.

Do not be jealous of others’ good qualities, but out of admiration adopt them yourself.

Do not look for faults in others, but look for faults in yourself, and purge them like bad blood.

Since you cannot tame the minds of others until you have tamed your own, begin by taming your own mind.

No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.

Abandon wrongdoing. It can be done. If there were no likelihood, I would not ask you to do it.

But since it is possible and since it brings blessing and happiness, I do ask of you; abandon wrongdoing.

Cultivate doing good. It can be done. If it brought deprivation and sorrow, I would not ask you to do it.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our world.

Buddha’s last words: All conditioned things in the world are changeable. They are not lasting. Try to accomplish your own salvation with diligence.

Into the Light ——————Here we go again.

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Out of the darkness into the light

let the love for us shine bright

we are bound to each other
from this night

As the heat of fire

The coolness of the sea

we are bound to each other

just you and me.

Be my sweetness,
be my destiny,
be my loving kindness,
be my heat, my healing, my longing, my fire
my sea, my joy, my pain,
be my demon just loving me.

I will be your lightness,
I will be your savior ,
I will be on your side,
I will love you forever more
I will struggle with you
and struggle for you
I will be your savagery.

No two alike has gained like this
no two as us are likely to miss
the life of darkness of shadows and light
we are the two that will shine so bright.

As the world may see and not understand
how two strange creatures can take a stand
in a life that is hard
and weakness prevails

it is our journey and
belongs to no one else
where ever we land
we will have each other
through valley and glen
to forge forward together
hand in hand.

g.piazza

What’s Normal??????

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The day I broke up with normal,

was the first day

of my magical life.

The Mind Unleashed

Truth

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The truth hurts,

The truth heals.

I read that somewhere and it brought to mind how I would much rather be hurt by the truth than hurt by a lie.

When you know the truth you can move on. Lies only keep an untruth alive and the truth comes out anyway.

Please tell me the truth. I can handle it.

Thoughful Thursday #49 Is it Love or Oxytocin?

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Is it Love or Oxytocin?

 

Turns out there is love hormone called Oxytocin that can cause much confusion in deciding if you love someone.

 

 For example, Oxytocin is released by simple body contact with a handshake or hug.

  1. You can think of someone in that warm and fuzzy way, Oxytocin is released.
  2. Oxytocin is released when a woman gives birth and Oxytocin helps in bonding with the child.
  3. Oxytocin is also released at orgasm in females. Males have it too.
  4. Oxytocin can be prescribed by a doctor and bought on the internet

 

 Which seems to me to be a problem. The Oxytocin is released creating a bond with someone you are sleeping with who may not be worth bonding to.

 

 Since this hormone elicits trust and a desire to maintain a relationship how do you know the relationship is worth it?

 

 Do you get along well outside of an Oxytocin phase?

  1. If there is any violence in the relationship, it’s Oxytocin that you are addicted to not the person.
  2. The other person is unreliable but you still stick around, it’s Oxytocin.
  3. If you keep accepting unacceptable behavior, it’s the Oxytocin.
  4. If the relationship did not work out and you still miss that person, you are missing the Oxytocin not the person.
  5. Maybe you gained a lot of weight, it may be not enough Oxytocin (that explains a lot)
  6. Doing good works like helping the less fortunate releases Oxytocin (do good works and lose weight. Sounds like a win/win to me)

 

 Here’s some good news, at anytime you can choose to share your Oxytocin with someone else. If it’s just the Oxytocin you want to share that’s fine.

 

 But if you want a relationship too then pay attention to the other everyday stuff like trusting, reliability, openness, generosity, peacefulness, joy, happiness, companionship, then Oxytocin…

 

 Get It?

 

 

Robert H. Schuller

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Normal
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The only place where your dream is impossibe

is in your own thinking.

Robert H Schuller

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Thoughtful Thursday #43 Thanksgiving

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In the spirit of Thanksgiving I have made a list of things I am thankful for and below that is a gift to you:

I am thankful for:

My kids
My dog and four cats
My problems
My life
My creativity
All the people I know, the good and the bad
My computer
My car
My spirituality
My success and failures

My Gift To You:

I wish you happiness, peace, and prosperity
I wish for your suffering to end immediately
I wish you every benefit that life can give you
I wish you tremendous love
And if that is not enough
I wish you a forever understanding of your self.

Happy Thanksgiving