Monthly Archives: May 2013

May30

Thoughtful Thursdays #18

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Decisions

Sometimes it’s easy to make decisions. Like what to wear or cook or movie to see. Sometimes it’s really difficult to decide especially when there is no guarantee in the outcome. For example, getting a new job or opening a business. Getting a new job is easier because it’s predictable, structured and basically secure. Opening a business is risky, unpredictable and not a sure thing.

Some decisions are unavoidable. Like going to the dentist because you have a toothache. You will go to to the dentist to get rid of the pain. Ah ha, Pain, maybe that’s why decisions become difficult because they cause pain/uncertainty. Decisions are easy to avoid when they are uncertain so we ignore decision making until there is so much pain that a decision has to be made.

What is the cure for easier decision making?

Make a decision in any direction because the process of going into a new direction will bring you to your desired destination.

And that’s a good thing.

May23

Thoughful Thursdays #17

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I like 12 Step programs. They are healthy and a place to begin examining many damaging behaviors.

I bet you never heard of A.R.T.S. Anonymous. It is a 12 step program for artists. The word “artist” is used in the broadest sense to include anyone who is struggling with expressing your creativity. It could mean painter, writer, baker, seamstress and anyone who finds their creativity intertwined in their expression. As a creative person the craving for an outlet is always there and never goes away. But many artists avoid doing their work for many reasons. Mostly because of a trauma or fear. When you are not creating you are using something else to kill the aspiration to create.

A.R.T.S Anonymous is actually dealing with something positive. Our own creativity. In their literature I came across “Facing Avoidance: An Inventory of Attitudes and Beliefs About Doing Art”. There are over 70 questions that examine how we feel about doing art. For example: Am I willing to tolerate awkwardness, false starts, dry spells, and mistakes as part of the process? Do I hate myself when I avoid doing my art? Do I realize that inspiration is likely to come after I start working? That what I need will come to me when I need it if I make the effort?

On their website section: “Being Blocked” the very first sentence says “To be blocked is not truly an adult choice but the choice of a traumatized child who is determined to live their adult life safe from all harms. A child’s fears have imprisoned the adult”. These words really struck me as true because of my own experience in struggling with writing and painting. These fears are crippling at times. And quite incognito. Fear, many times, is invisible.

I get irritated when I read statements like: Just Do It, It’s mind over matter, Here’s the only method you will ever need to succeed. Because there is a river of deepness that is in our subconscious that needs a safe place to explore our expression of art.

Explore the A.R.T.S Anonymous website and read Steven Pressfield’s ” The War Of Art”. (I wrote about Pressfield’s book in my original Thoughtful Thursday post). Each venue will be an explosion of information and lead you to heal and express that which is uniquely you.

Happy exploring.

May16

Do It Yourself World

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This is a very DIY (Do It Yourself)world. That’s kind of scary. What do I mean by that. Living and working used to fit into nice, comfy, predictable molds. All you had to do is find where you fit in. A company, a role, a field of interest. But all that has changed. Like it or not life and working has become a DIY project. For example: in today’s world the jobs that provided security are few and difficult to get and are their criteria is ever changing. Life styles are changing so fast that almost anything is acceptable as a new way of co-habitation. Which leads us to find alternate ways of living and working.

But what happens when Doing It Yourself is not clear. There are thousands of books to read and thousands of people who will try to help with their view of any given situation. It’s human nature to find a place to fit in. How about fitting in with a DIY culture. It’s a different and unclear way of finding your way until you have reached a destination just for you.

If you have expressed, in your world, that you want to be an artist, or baker or writer or a doctor or anthropologist or business owner and the reaction you get is negative.

STOP expressing those interests to those who are not willing to support you. FIND those who will support you. MOVE towards what you really want to do. DON’T waste precious time looking for approval from those who have no idea or interest in who you are. That includes family, teachers, bosses, friends or anyone who is clueless about you. Do It Yourself means to Be Yourself Always.

It won’t be easy until you Do Your Own Life. Decide to have your own life and wish well to those who are not on the same path as you. You will end up being an inspiration to the naysayers. You will finally respect yourself and others will respect your for having the courage to create your own life. You will end up making your own kind of security and life style extraordinaire. And be truly happy.

Happy Doing It Yourself and Being Yourself.

May16

Thoughtful Thursdays #16

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Once you decide, really, really decide on what you want synchronicity sets in. Doors will open, opportunities will appear and your decision to decide on what you really want will have become a reality.

Easy to say, easy to understand but so hard to decide. The culprit to deciding is distractions. It’s quite normal to have your attention on what you are doing at any given moment. For example, when driving. If you are not focused on your driving you may have an accident. But what about all those ideas in your head, the things you want to do and say and experience.

Here’s a very simple way of accomplishing those things you want to do and say and experience in three easy steps.

Step 1. Write a list of any and everything you want in any area of your interest. Nothing is off limits. Write everything down. Refer to it frequently.

Step 2. Pick one thing and do it. Just one thing. Do this one thing from start to finish. At this point it’s easy to get carried away categorizing. Resist the urge to do that. Just do one thing in the beginning. As you feel more able to do more then do it. The idea here is to not be overwhelmed by all the stuff you want to do.

Step 3. Give yourself credit for doing just one thing on your list. Check off what you have done and move to the next. At this point you can add more or delete what is not really that important.

Maybe there’s really big stuff you want to do. If it’s seems too much then break it down to steps.

Don’t give up. There will always be distractions and waves of winding paths. But that’s life and its constant changing occurrences. You are in this life to DO, to SAY, to EXPERIENCE.

So Just Do It.

Happy doing.

May12

Mother’s Day

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Be Kind to her even if it’s for just today.
Hold your tongue say only good in your way.
Be Sweet to her even if it’s for just today.
Hold the door open for the queen of the day.
Today will be remembered by her and you.
Make it special so no one is blue.

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers and their families.
Have a great day.

May6

Speaking the Truth

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Truth can mean different things to different people. In this writing I am referring to my observations of those who have uncertain, unspoken, hidden agendas. Most people do not tell the truth about how they feel or what their real motives are. It is not easy to put yourself out there and speak what you believe is the truth because it is uncomfortable. You may be criticized or rejected or laughed at and not taken seriously, perhaps make you unpopular. First of all you have nothing to prove to anyone. What you believe is the truth for you remains there. Then you can act accordingly. It is easy to slip back into denial or to what is comfortable but the truth will stay obvious until it is expressed. The good thing about truth is it will make any situation transparent. Once the truth is known a shift happens. Right, wrong or indifferent something will change and even though it will seem strange or uncomfortable the change will be for the better.

Truth is a very good quality to have. Trust by its very nature forces you to inquire and find answers. Telling the truth will create a peaceful mind and those that are lucky to know you as someone who speaks the truth will trust you.

I meet many people who I know their words and actions are not in sync. Their words say one thing yet their actions do not match what they say. They do not speak the truth so they cannot be trusted. Why be interested in someone who cannot be trusted.

The bottom line is if you tell the truth to yourself first, you will always be able to trust yourself with no hidden agendas.

Speak the truth.