Monthly Archives: January 2016

Forgiveness is Bullshit



Wherever you find an intolerance for and avoidance of “negative emotion,” you are almost guaranteed to also find a “doctrine” of forgiveness. I cringe every time I hear forgiveness come up. For a while, my cringing was accompanied by guilt because I felt horrible that I would see such a “positive” action/attitude as repulsive. I could easily understand why I might feel repelled by the fundamentalist definition of forgiveness, but I didn’t understand why I was also disgusted by the more “liberal” definitions of forgiveness.

As I’ve taken the journey to reclaim my right to have my emotions, even the shadow ones, I’ve gained a bit of a better understanding of my hatred of the very idea of forgiveness.

Basically I’m here to say it’s all bullshit.

Yes, I know I’ve probably made many of you gasp and even branded myself in some minds as a “bitter person.”

That’s okay…

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Thoughtful Thursdays #117 – Recognizing Resistance


It’s easy to recognize resistance in someone else. You watch them hem and haw, twitch and bolt, lie and freeze. You don’t understand the problem in them. No matter what you do you can’t show them their resistance.

It’s the same with you. You will resist that which is uncomfortable, threatening and revolting. Your own resistance is based on fear. Your own history makes these fears. This resistance is based on the false belief that you can’t take care of your self. Which is not true. You can handle anything. You are brave, give yourself some credit.

The moment you recognize resistance it is the signal not to hold back. It’s the compass pointing true north. It’s where you need to go.

Recognizing resistance is part of everyone’s journey. It’s a resource and teaching tool that is in everyone. It’s part of how our brains function to show us where we need to go next.

What are you resisting, where’s your next adventure?

Zoom – Zoom

Begin Again


OK, you started something and didn’t finish it. You made a commitment and didn’t follow through. You promised something and totally forgot. You got down on yourself for not finishing, not following through and forgetting what was important.

Stop a moment. Without judgement…………………

Begin again at that project, begin again on that commitment, renew those promises.

Begin as many times as it takes, reorganize your methods, figure out what you don’t want to commit to.

There are no rules about beginnings and endings. You make your own rules. Begin as many times as it takes to do what you decide to do. Help yourself in creating your own life. Begin as many times as you need. It’s a perfectly OK thing to do.


Thoughtful Thursdays #116 Now Is The Time


Now is the time to stop scaring yourself.

Now is the time to put an end to any kind of abuse.

Now is the time to finish old things that are not working.

Now is the time to celebrate who you are.

Now is the time to choose your own happiness.

Now is the time to change your life to the way you want it.

You got this.

Thoughtful Thursdays #115 Three Wishes


We all know the story of the Geni that granted three wishes. There are many variations on the story and most end up stating some moral good or bad decision. Let’s change it up a bit. You have to pick three items in the wish list. They are your wishes to keep forever or until you are finished with them. Let’s go.

  1. Constant source of income.
  2. Love of your life.
  3. Healthy body.
  4. Read minds.
  5. Be invisible.
  6. Fame.
  7. Know who your enemies are.
  8. Eliminate your enemies.
  9. The power to heal everyone you meet.
  10. Change your life.
  11. Freedom from anything oppressive.
  12. Happiness.
  13. Be a genius.
  14. Help others.
  15. Be a philanthropist.
  16. Embrace your dark side.
  17. Time travel to the past and future.
  18. More wishes.
  19. Breathe underwater.
  20. Do magic.
  21. Super strength.
  22. Control the weather.
  23. Understand all languages.
  24. Immortality.
  25. Peace.
  26. Be a superhero.
  27. Be a really bad, bad guy.
  28. Live alone on an island.

Now pick, Pick only three. They are neither right or wrong. Give your self the gift of imagining you are living your wishes.

They are yours forever or until you are finished with them.

Happy imagining.





Thoughful Thurdays # 114 – Three Kinds of Laziness


I have been reading “The Places That Scare You” by Pema Chodron and Chapter Sixteen is about three kinds of laziness.

I will sum each one up.

  1. Comfort Orientation-we use quick fixes in order not to inconvenience ourselves. For example, our car breaks down and we become enraged at the inconvenience.
  2. Loss of Heart-this is hopelessness and have poverty thinking. We drink, smoke, eat, watch TV, etc. The inability to get ourselves moving into breaking free from hopelessness.
  3. Couldn’t Care Less-this is about resentment. We become aggressive and defiant. We are not getting what we deserve. So the hell with everyone. This turns into depression.

There are three futile strategies in dealing with this laziness.

  1. We attack ourselves for being lazy.
  2. We indulge ourselves by self-doubt and inadequacy.
  3. We ignore, space out and go numb. We will do anything not to deal with the lazy behavior.

These ways of behaving lazy and these ineffective strategies have become a habit.

The answer-become curious about what your behavior is. Ask yourself why you are suffering. Experiment with different ways of behaving that will bring happiness rather than suffering. Sit with the feelings and listen to what they are telling you. Explore your own mind. The answers lie there.

Read Pema Chodron’s books or any others on human behavior. You are worth the effort.