Monthly Archives: February 2017

Thoughtful Thursdays – #154 – The Need To Be Right

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I admit it. I like to be right. Everyone does.

However to demand others see things our way is actually wrong. The need to be right all the time comes from the fear of losing control and credibility and feeling threatened. That is a real uncomfortable way to live.

“The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” – Pema Chodron

Here’s 5 negative results of insisting on being right all the time.

  1. You will not be open to other possibilities.
  2. You see others in a condescending and belittling manner.
  3. There is no open dialog.
  4. You will end up alone and isolated.
  5. It is disrespectful to others.

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.” -Anthony Robbins

Here’s 5 positive results of letting go of being right all the time.

  1. You become kinder and accepting without feeling threatened.
  2. You become more compassionate and understanding.
  3. You can communicate better.
  4. You will be open to new experiences.
  5. You will have the willingness to be wrong.

“You can change your beliefs so they empower your dreams and desires. Create a strong belief in yourself and what you want.”- Marcia Wieder

If we can, for just a moment, become detached from the need to be right and listen to another’s opinion we open ourselves to deeper understanding and acceptance. Being detached to having it your way will also eliminate judgement and resistance.

So be considerate to others by being confident enough to live without the need to be right. You will be happier, unafraid to make mistakes, kinder, willing to learn, humble and brave enough to build character.

Happy— I Don’t Have To Be Right All The Time— Day.

 

 

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Thoughtful Thursdays – #153 – Repeating Patterns

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We are destined to repeat the same patterns of negativity until we examine them.

If you find yourself in destructive patterns over and over it is Mother Nature’s signal to stop what you are doing and examine it. Believe it or not there are signals from Mother Nature and your higher self-telling you to destroy what you don’t need to repeat. This is actually a healthy part of you reaching out and saying: “Enough is enough it’s time to look at what is going on here”.

Here is a secret, you can be sure that your mind will tell you this is not true and try all kinds of tricks to stop you from moving forward. Don’t listen to the lies your mind tells you. Your mind says these things because it is afraid to feel anything. It wants you to stay the same and be safe. But eventually the pain will be too much and you will either squash it with more self-destruction or do yourself a favor and reach out with kindness for yourself and examine what you are doing.

It is not easy to be honest about how we feel and the actions we take. It just takes a tiny step in a healing direction. A tiny risk of looking at your own beliefs, a tiny look at who we pretend to be and who we really are.

You are strong enough, smart enough, have time enough, love yourself enough  to do this work, you are brave enough and lucky enough to be on this path. You are worth it too. And a bonus, your family, friends, pets, and all you touch will heal as you heal.

Reach out and find a therapy, a part of nature, a hobby you are inspired by and follow it. There may not be any outward signs to follow; some signals will come from an internal place and manifest in the here and now. Your intuition will speak, your adult self will act and the child in you will rejoice.

Thoughtful Thurdsays #152 – Trauma

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Trauma is when your mind is stuck on a difficult situation from the past. Let me explain. Perhaps you fell on ice and broke your leg. You then needed surgery to fix it. After much healing you are healthy again.

You decide to take a walk and happen upon the same street where you fell. Dread sets in, flashbacks of falling ignite your memory, fear of having surgery again zings in your head. So you avoid that street. You will never walk down that street again because it reminds you of when you fell.

Not every one would react that way but it is not uncommon that our minds go into survival mode after a trauma and reminds us not to venture down that block again. Your mind is trying to protect you and has no sense of time. This is the nature of trauma.

Our minds become frozen in time over an unpleasant event. Trauma is epidemic. If you have lived, you have experienced trauma.

What can we do to become unstuck. Find trauma support groups, trauma therapy, writing, meditation. Do whatever needs to be done to heal. There is no one way, or right way, there is only your way to heal. Push through the fear just for a little while and begin your healing journey. You are worth it.

Thoughtful Thursdays #151 – Trust

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I don’t trust very quickly. I like to wait and see where a situation or person leads to.  It’s wonderful to have people you can trust but that is rare because people are people and wrapped up in their own stuff.

I am better at trusting me. How can we get better at trusting ourselves?

  1. Be the CEO of your own life.
  2. Pay attention to  your instincts.
  3. Go with the flow, try not to force but let life unfold.
  4. Listen to your body.
  5. Quiet your mind.

These are some basic ways for developing a sense of trust in yourself and the more you trust yourself the better you know what your next step is and who to trust.