Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and many share their love and enthusiasm for our families, lovers, friends.
Let’s not forget to give a big Valentines to ourselves. After all we are very important too. Here’s some helpful ways to love yourself.
- Stop calling yourself names. eg. I am such a jerk.
- Stop thinking about the worst case scenario. eg. The world will end if I say the wrong thing.
- Identify negative beliefs you have about yourself and get rid of them. eg. I am a really bad cook.
- Rewrite and reframe your internal dialog. eg. I am a good dancer.
- Celebrate yourself. It’s OK to give yourself a reward.
- Visit a therapist. Self examination is healing.
- Support yourself with positive self talk.
Every day is a chance to take good care of yourself and be your own Valentine.
“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
I know how you feel. Betrayed and abandoned by someone who you thought cared.
If you can feel betrayal and abandonment you are the healthy one.
People who constantly hurt and abandon are the broken ones.
I know it’s hard to do but………….
Feel it – breathe – carry on.
Art can be many things, for example, like painting, writing, singing, cooking, fashion, music, etc. Creativity in the arts is subjective. The beauty or chaos of the creation belongs to the beholder.
There is a place in this world for everyone’s creations. There is someone or many someones that will resonate with what you create. Whether it’s a painting or an article or a cake, there will be those that love it.
Therefore, as creative creatures we must never give up in creating and sharing our creations with the world at large. Share your creations on a blog, on Facebook, your family, friends or neighbors. Share what you have, someone needs to see it, perhaps to brighten their day.
And if you get a negative remark on your creation, just brush it off. Remarks are from those who are either jealous, out of touch with the beauty in any creation, or just plain miserable. Don’t let that bring you down. Keep creating and keep showing.
The world needs your creativity.
Ever wonder why you have certain beliefs that you stubbornly refuse to unbelieve? Eg. Only my religion is the right one.
Which ideas do you believe are true? Eg. All electronic equipment is reliable.
How many beliefs fall into the broad generalization category? Eg. All women can sew and all men can fix a car.
Is the belief based on emotion or evidence or did you swallow a second-hand opinion.
Self-examination of our beliefs is one true path to freedom. But be warned. It is not the easiest.
Family is a loaded subject for me because my family consists of my kids, cats and me. I never had a real family with a loving parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. Nor could I give that to my kids. I did the best I could and I always talked about our situation and encouraged my kids to have lots of friends. Which they did.
I often wonder what that would have been like to have that family you see advertised on Christmas cards and commercials. The kind of family you see going on vacations and sitting at the dinner table. The kind of family that you could trust and talk to.
I did try to be that family for my kids. We are not perfect but we have each other.
I know the definition of family is different for everyone and no family is perfect.
I decided a long time ago that it’s OK to be a small family and there is no reason why we can’t pick and choose non-biological family members.
After all, family is about including others and family includes everyone we care about.
I am not talking about being generous with huge donations of time and money and goods. I am talking about generosity with the small things that are so meaningful.
Listening with full attention, giving a supportive hug, saying kind and reassuring words, giving of your labor, making time for someone who needs you, holding a door, spend the day being courteous to everyone, in the face of conflict or differing opinions stay calm and don’t react, finding in your heart to do no harm with your words or actions.
These are just a few incognito generous actions you can take. You will end up helping someone else and feeling so much more accomplished as a human being.
Carry on you lovely generous being.
It is common information about emotional trauma being trapped in the body. Google it or go to the library for reading material.
However, how do we uncover emotions without the long stretches in therapy or costly physical therapies?
Start with walking more, take the stairs, swim, dance, rent a bike, work out, walk your neighbor’s dog, garden, yoga on youtube.
The next step to exorcise those pesky emotions that sneak up on you and settle in your body, sit with paper and pen or open a word document and pour your mind onto a page.
By exercising you can release trauma from your body which is connected to your mind.
By writing you exorcise trauma from your mind which is connected to your body.
Find your balance.
There are three things necessary to our wellbeing: Identity, Community and Purpose.
However in our fractured world where these things are hard to find, many people, young people especially are lost in the world. The internet doesn’t help. Even though the internet is a tremendous asset there is not much in the way of human interaction. So we become fractured. We lose any sense of identity, community and purpose. We flip from one relationship to another to find our identity, racing from one community to another to feel we fit in, and trying over and over again different causes to feel personally satisfied. Or we can completely shut down.
We can see the lies fed to everyone by invisible agenda makers. These invisible agenda makers know psychology to manipulate those who are searching for their lost identity, community and purpose. Their hidden agenda is to tap into these basic human needs to the detriment of the searcher. These invisible agenda makers come up as extremists groups as political, religious, consumerism and that sneaky minority of those who just hate humanity and are power-hungry to destroy anyone they can.
Let’s find out what our true identity, community and purpose is by not blindly following others but doing the work of learning about ourselves. If you have no sense of identity, find out who you are by your own standards. If you have no community, find like-minded people or create your own community. If you have no sense of purpose, find your passion and go for it.
It’s not easy to go your own way, it’s unknown territory so at times you will feel lonely and lost. That is OK. Sit with the feeling rather than running away from it. When you arrive to the other side you will know more of who you are, have an internal compass that will find the community that loves you and you get up every day happy to live your purpose.
Stop wasting time, learn more about you now.
Sin = wrongdoing, transgression, crime, offense.
Secret = not meant to be known or seen by others
To my understanding a sin is an action done out of ignorance.
To my understanding secrets can be surrounded by shame.
Ignorance does not protect us from consequences.
Shame keeps secrets in place.
If we have a secret that causes shame it may cause ignorant actions with many consequences.
We all have “sins and secrets” we want to go the grave with. But the burden of carrying “sins and secrets” is so very painful. Here are some safe ways of releasing the pain.
- Write your heart out without censure.
- Find a therapist or someone you can really trust to talk it out.
- Don’t beat yourself up, have compassion for yourself.
- Research the issues you are dealing with.
- Change what you can, leave the rest alone.
We are all human and we make mistakes, this is part of life. And every day is a new chance to change.
Unfortunately society tells us to rush, rush, rush. Work harder, Be the first, Be the fastest. You are not enough unless you do as everyone else does.
There is no rush to live your life or do your inner work. There is no time line. There is only the day by day actions that make your life fulfilling to you. There are only the small steps into knowing who you are. There is no finish line.
Only movement at your own pace.