Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Jan3

Old Friend

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I have one friend from childhood. We met when I was 15 and he was 17. We used to play guitar and piano together. His family was wonderful. His voice was like velvet. We had tons of fun, and we were a couple for two years. He went his way, and I went mine.

We reconnected a few years later and the same thing happened.

It’s really strange because for the following years we ran into each other often. We could not get away from each other. We couldn’t be a couple for unknown reasons. But we always kept in touch with each other.

When his Mom passed away, we reminisced about how we all used to sing together. I said my goodbyes to this wonderful lady who really welcomed me.

Every year at Christmas we exchange Christmas cards and each year my dear friend would burn a CD for me of old movies and jazz music and other subjects we were always interested in. One year he sent me an old VCR tape of us at his house on Christmas with our families. I cried when I saw this. We were so happy.

This year I got my Christmas card with a CD and the only words on the card were “It’s been a rough year.”

I do keep in touch with his sister too and she said that my friend is suffering with back problems, blood problems and some other dangerous stuff. My friend does not want to need my help because he has a support system.

We don’t run into each other anymore. We have chosen to remember all the good times, the conversations, the connection we had in these past five decades.

I guess that is how it is when you finally get old enough to realize how much you really loved each other and how it is too late to have a life together.

I will always remember my dear friend and if we are lucky perhaps, we will meet in the afterlife.

Jan31

Thoughtful Thursday #245 – Internalizing Emotional Pain

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Internalized emotional pain is personal slavery and a prim and proper intimate prison in your mind. It’s where we have been triggered and swallowed emotional pain for any number of reasons. Maybe we have been betrayed by someone you trusted, or out of the blue you were the target of cruelty, perhaps you have been the object of someone’s dysfunctional projections, and the result is you feel a life situation has crushed you.

We can recognize how we have internalized emotional pain. We have excessive worry, over indulge in social media, phantom physical sensations, venting at others expense, wanting to retaliate, self-destructive behaviors, your self-esteem is nowhere in sight, there’s a presence of anxiety, sadness, and social isolation, we blow up over nothing.

This is a painful way to live, very painful, I understand how it feels, and no one is immune internalizing emotional pain.

If you are struggling with sorting out emotional pain, hang in there, initially the pain may be  too much, that’s OK, take some time to process what has happened.

Practice self-care: acknowledge what happened, save yourself from further pain, summon up compassion for yourself, internalizing emotional pain does not make you tough, confrontation may be appropriate but do it with a calm voice, find someone who will listen to you unconditionally, write it out on a piece of paper, write every last emotion and detail, find whatever you need to bring a sense of groundedness and peace back to your mind,  look within yourself for an answer that works for you.

In time the pain will pass, that’s the beauty of time and self-care and perhaps you will learn that you are really very strong and can be grow internally and handle the next situation with self-protection and authority as the mighty, capable person that your are.

 

Jun28

Thoughtful Thursday #218 Processing Feelings

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This is a hard one. Childhood Emotional Neglect blog has a realistic answer. 10 Rules Emotions Follow:

# 9 Sitting with a powerful emotion and letting yourself feel it while thinking about it to understand why you’re having it, what it means, and what it’s telling you, is called “processing it.”

#10 Your feelings are valuable messages from your deepest self. When you follow Rule 9, you are listening to the messages, honoring yourself, and making use of this valuable resource from within.

We all have feelings and some are unexplainable and that is OK because your feelings come from your subconscious. When strong feelings come up, follow rule #9 and #10.

It won’t be easy to sit with uncomfortable feelings but you will come out on the other side feeling quite different knowing there was a shift in your mind and that is all you need to facilitate healing.

Jun16

Understand This

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Here’s a quote from Yolo Akili’s book:  Dear Universe; Letters of Affirmation and Empowerment – For All Of Us –

Principles of Human Communication:

#5 Understand that everyone interprets the world through their own ideas, past experience, psychological framework, social location and pain. You see the world based on where you have been. You see the world based on who you are, based on how you are perceived and how you perceive others. Those perceptions are not absolute. They are not the only truth, and they are not the only way of knowing things. Understand this.

The author is pointing out that in order to have effective communication with other humans we must put aside our own beliefs.  By putting aside our own beliefs we will better understand where the other human is coming from. As a result you will have a clearer, more truthful communication.

May3

Thoughtful Thursday #211 – ALGEE

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Most have never seen this acronym. I learned it in my Mental Health First Aid class. This is the acronym for the action plan for anyone dealing with trying to help others with mental or physical distress. Many times those closest to us reveal their problems and we want to help but don’t know how. Here’s an effective action plan.

Action A – Assess for risk of suicide or harm. Is the person having suicidal thoughts or behaviors, or engaging in non-suicidal self-injury like cutting.

Action L – Listen non-judgmentally. This can be hard in a crisis, instead try very hard not to express your own negative judgements. Stay calm.

Action G – Give reassurance and information. Treat the person with kindness and respect and give hope for recovery. Have empathy.

Action E – Encourage appropriate professional help. Refer to resources like mental health care providers. Give ideas where to get help.

Action E – Encourage self-help and other support strategies. Healthy lifestyle, support system, problem solving, belief in taking control of their life.

If someone is out of control and dangerous to you or themselves call 911.

 

Here’s just a few Helpful Resources:

If you are in NYC call 1-888-NYC-WELL. They will help all age groups.

Suggest going to their personal physician and ask for resources for mental health.

The Balanced Mind Foundation – http://www.bpkids.org

Cyberbullying Research Center – http://www.cyberbullying.us

National Alliance on Mental Illness – http://www.nami.org

American Psychiatric Association Answer Center – 1-888-357-7924

American Psychological Association Public Education Line – 1-800-964-2000

Hope this helps.

As a helper you can get overwhelmed by another’s mental health issues.

As a helper it is perfectly OK to reach out for help too.

As a helper your work is important.

Good Luck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

May2

A Healthy Lifestyle for Good Mental Health

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This information is from MentalhealthAmerica.net, take a moment and read up on how to help your mental health and the mental health of others.

Mental Health Month 2018 – Toolkit Download

Full Toolkit

Full Toolkit (PDF 39.4 MB)

Full Toolkit Zip (zip file – images included)

Mental health is essential to everyone’s overall health and well-being, and mental illnesses are common and
treatable. So much of what we do physically impacts us mentally –it’s important to pay attention to both your
physical health and your mental health, which can help you achieve overall wellness and set you on a path to
recovery.
This May is Mental Health Month; purelysimplewords.com  is raising awareness about the connection between
physical health and mental health, through the theme Fitness #4Mind4Body. The campaign is meant to educate and
inform individuals about how eating healthy foods, gut health, managing stress, exercising, and getting enough
sleep can go a long way in making you healthy all around.
A healthy lifestyle can help to prevent the onset or worsening of mental health conditions like depression and
anxiety, as well as heart disease, diabetes, obesity and other chronic health problems. It can also play a big role
in helping people recover from these conditions. Taking good care of your body is part of a before Stage Four
approach to mental health.
Getting the appropriate amount of exercise can help control weight, improve mental health, and help you live
longer and healthier. Recent research is also connecting your nutrition and gut health with your mental health.
Sleep also plays a critical role in all aspects of our life and overall health. Getting a good night’s sleep is important
to having enough physical and mental energy to take on daily responsibilities. And we all know that stress can
have a huge impact on all aspects of our health, so it’s important to take time to focus on stress-reducing activities
like meditation or yoga.
purelysimplewords.com wants everyone to know that mental illnesses are real, and recovery is always the goal. Living a
healthy lifestyle may not be easy, but by looking at your overall health every day – both physically and mentally –
you can go a long way in ensuring that you focus on your Fitness #4Mind4Body.

For more information, visit http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/may.

Fact Sheets/ Poster

Fitness 4Mind4Body: FACT SHEET Diet and Nutrition (PDF)

Fitness 4Mind4Body: FACT SHEET Exercise (PDF)

Fitness 4Mind4Body: FACT SHEET Gut Brain Connection (PDF)

Fitness 4Mind4Body: FACT SHEET Sleep (PDF)

Fitness 4Mind4Body: FACT SHEET Stress (PDF)

Fitness 4Mind4Body: POSTER Take the Challenge (PDF) Meant to be printed 11 x 17 paper

Worksheets

When Changing Diet is Hard (PDF)

When Changing Exercise is Hard (PDF)

When Changing Sleep is Hard (PDF)

When Managing Stress is Hard (PDF)

Social Media Materials

Sample Social Media Posts (PDF)

Images (To download, right- click the image and select “Save Image As.”)

Challenge Call to Action (PNG 250 x 250 px)

Screening Call to Action Button (PNG 250 x 250 px)

Facebook Profile Picture (PNG 180 x 180 px)

Facebook Cover (PNG 820 x 312 px)

Facebook Shareable (PNG 1200 x 630 px)

Twitter Profile (PNG 400 x 400 px)

Twitter Header (PNG 1500 x 500 px)

Twitter Shareable (PNG 442 x 220 px)

Instagram Profile Picture (PNG 110 x 110 px)

Instagram Shareable (PNG 1080 x 1080 px)


Horizontal Banner (PNG 468 x 100 px)

Vertical Banner (PNG 100 x 468 px)

 

Feb15

Thoughtful Thursday #200 – Love Yourself First

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Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and many share their love and enthusiasm for our families, lovers, friends.

Let’s not forget to give a big Valentines to ourselves. After all we are very important too. Here’s some helpful ways to love yourself.

  1. Stop calling yourself names. eg. I am such a jerk.
  2. Stop thinking about the worst case scenario. eg. The world will end if I say the wrong thing.
  3. Identify negative beliefs you have about yourself and get rid of them. eg. I am a really bad cook.
  4. Rewrite and reframe your internal dialog. eg. I am a good dancer.
  5. Celebrate yourself. It’s OK to give yourself a reward.
  6. Visit a therapist. Self examination is healing.
  7. Support yourself with positive self talk.

Every day is a chance to take good care of yourself and be your own Valentine.

“Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

 

Aug24

Thoughtful Thursdays #176 – Internalized Oppression

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Internalized oppression is when we  have been oppressed and unwittingly use the methods of the oppressor against ourselves. The oppressor could be family of origin, your unfulfilling job, negative friends, or any other area that feels oppressive. Wow that is a heavy realization.

How do we recognize this internalized oppression?

  1. Where am I punishing myself. Am I continuing a behavior that is keeping me down.
  2. Are my beliefs based on an oppressors opinion?
  3. Do I want to assimilate or  fit in with my oppressors to feel of value?
  4. Do you have oppressive views of your identity?
  5. Do you believe you have no power?

Here are some remedies. I am sure there are many more.

  1. Stop a negative behavior and sit with the feeling. There’s a good chance there is shame and guilt present. Express any feelings that come up.
  2. You now have permission to have your own opinions and don’t need any validation but your own.
  3. You are not supposed to fit in, you are supposed to be your own person without apologies.
  4. Your identity is your own, no one can tell you who you are.
  5. Power can be overwhelming, take baby steps in reclaiming your personal power.

We learn to oppress ourselves, and it can be unlearned. This is the work of an empowered adult.

So get to work, you are worth it.

 

Jun30

Trust

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It’s much better to get to know someone first before you express the power of who you are.

Not all are trustworthy. Some people are predators. Some want to destroy for the sheer pleasure of it.

It is perfectly OK to protect yourself, emotionally, physically, financially.

However, if you find someone you can trust, treasure them. This is truly rare.

Jun15

Thoughtful Thursdays – # 167 – It’s OK To Stop

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When I am overwhelmed with racing thoughts and panic I want to run away and hide under a safe rock. I want to numb out from a constant bombardment of possibilities but doubting all of them. I want to hurry up and bring conclusions and endings to stop the confusion.

But wait……….. instead of running anywhere it is OK to STOP.

Stop running and let the massive amount of stuff in your brain settle. Do something different, out of the ordinary, just stop. Force yourself if you have to. Just wait for your mind to process what is going on.

You will be surprised at the amount of insight that is revealed. It’s wonderful to know that everything will turn out well.