Tag Archives: Reflections

Mar27

The Annual Awakening

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It’s here again, Spring. The season of dramatic transformation of icy Winter into the earth warming into Spring.

Gardening tips hit the wavelengths. Seed planting starts. Allergy medicines are back on the drug store shelves. Empty landscapes show a little green here and there.

A chorus of birds singing joyful melodies, worms exiting the once frozen earth. Breeding season. Pink blossoms, yellow honey suckle, red crocus, blue tulips, purple lavender perfume the air.

Humans becoming exercise warriors after a winter of indoor games, picnics in the park, occasional snow squalls. There are farmers markets and outdoor festivals uplifting spirits.

The natural world is resilient, dying and renewing every year. Springtime is a reminder of the earth’s resilience and our own. It’s a time of Spring cleaning and spiritual renewal. A time of hope and new beginnings. Welcome Spring.

Jan5

Leather Shoes

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I saw a young man about thirty years old with fancy expensive leather shoes with heels. About one and a half inches at least. He glided across the street, purposeful. There was a slight rustling of wind in his black hair. He looked an ambitious sort.

Charming looking and handsome. Was he off to an important meeting? Did he insist on being traditional rather than an ordinary man wearing sneakers?

I looked around to see if anyone else had fancy leather shoes with heels. No one. Most people wear sneakers these days for comfort and sneakers are inexpensive compared to fancy leather shoes with heels.

Wonder what he did for a living. What was his personality? Are people who wear fancy leather shoes with heels different from those who wear sneakers?

I will never know his story. But in the brief look I had of the man with the fancy leather shoes with heels is a reminder that we can be inspired to wonder about the story behind the choices people make.

Dec17

Prayers

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Did you ever wonder how many people in a crowd are praying? A woman worrying about paying bills and her children. A man in a suit feeling down about a job he is stuck in because he has a family. An elderly person with a problematic medical diagnosis. A parent with a homeless child or incarcerated loved one. A displaced family with nowhere to go. The list of challenges is endless.

Do higher powers really hear us? Are our prayers really answered?

I hope all prayers are answered, I wish for all to be happy. I wish all to be safe and fed.

Prayer is always good; we just don’t know how our problems will work out.

Dear Ancestors and Inner Family,

Thanks for being here, hope you heard my prayers today.

Love, Me.

Jul9

Thoughtful Thursday #309 – In Service To Humanity

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With today’s negativity on TV and radio and magazines and hurt people acting out violently we can get sucked into the drama very easily and end up feeling hopeless and afraid.

Focusing on the external will make you feel you must react in some way. Not necessarily.

If you make your reference point external and have that run your day you are unwittingly acting from victim consciousness, when we operate from a victim consciousness we give away all our power to external people and events.

Note: people who are hurting aka victims, hurt other people which creates more victim consciousness. Think of the bully who has to hurt others because he/she is hurt.

When we meet angry events with the same polarity and divisiveness that created the angry event, and we are meeting those events with low level reactions and we are  postponing a greater world.

A world of peace, love, compassion, respect for all sentient beings, the openness to talk to one another and expand our wonderful world of exceptional humans and believe it or not, most people want this. Most people want to live in peace and safety.

Instead take a break from the negativity and choose a higher form of action:

  1. refuse to get taken in by unhealthy actions of those who wish to harm.
  2. have gratitude for the ability to choose your reactions.
  3. find reasons to feel positive.
  4. find people who you can love and that love you.
  5. send good wishes and pure feelings to everyone.
  6. take the time to think and understand what is going on in your life.
  7. take the time to think about how to react.
  8. be kind whenever possible.

Let’s build each other up instead of tearing down, let’s be of a greater service to humanity. Let’s be united for a better world with positivity. All of us.

 

 

 

Jul2

Thoughtful Thursday #308 – Judgement VS Opinion

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According to Google:

Opinions are beliefs, not necessarily based on facts. They are personal preferences that take into consideration one’s mood, the mindset of the crowd being addressed and the overall environment of the situation. Judgement is more of an assessment which takes information into consideration.

Let’s step back for a moment, with recent triggering events that are still resonating in the world, emotional cries for unseen justice, threatening gestures to and from strangers, fear of speaking our mind, forced silence and an incredible amount of ungroundedness and no direction, let’s take a moment to reflect. What behaviors are we observing from humanity and what are we observing about ourselves.

Not only are these events triggering for trauma survivors but also for most of our friends and neighbors and those that we wish we could get to know better.

As a self care option we can use the above definitions of opinions and judgement to help us define and name what we feel and identify some of the inner workings of our mind especially when triggered with uncertainty. Ask yourself if you are reacting with opinion or considering facts.

What is within my control and what is not within my control.

Let’s practice kindness to yourself first then to others, visualize a peaceful place, quiet your mind, listen to music, check in with yourself, what is your self talk, talk to a therapist, be self compassionate,

It’s really important to find a way to become grounded and as peaceful as possible, from this perspective we can navigate our world much more effectively and in an mature matter.

You are important, you are special, you belong on this planet, let’s be good to ourselves and others by not being swayed by the rash opinions of others, let’s be as calm as possible. The world and all it’s beautiful inhabitants need great calm and understanding right now.

And if you are reading this you are one of the ambassadors of peace.

Carry on.

 

Apr30

Thoughtful Thursday #299 – Recovering from Covid 19

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I have Covid 19 and I am recovering, I had fever, aches and pains, fatigue, migraines, loss of smell and taste. Most of my symptoms are gone except for the loss of smell and taste.

This illness wiped me out for nearly 4 weeks, I caught it because a family member was infected first, this illness is very slow moving and not much relieves the symptoms expect for Tylenol and vitamins like C and lots of zinc.

I am lucky, as bad as my symptoms got I did not end up in the hospital.

We are not out of the woods yet, please follow the CDC guidelines and take this illness seriously.

Stay safe.

Dec5

Thoughtful Thursday #282 – Shame

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There are many ways we feel shame, in Psychotherapist’s Joseph Burgo book there are 4 subtypes of shame and I will list them here:

  1. Unrequited Love-this is not only the type of unreciprocated love between adults, the author explains that it happens in infancy and childhood when a parent is not able to respond to the child in a healthy way. In my opinion this explains those nasty situations where we run after unavailable people. This makes a lot of sense to me.
  2. Unwanted exposure-maybe you were called out on something and humiliated about it.
  3. Disappointed exception-perhaps you set out to do something and fail.
  4. Being left out-it happens everywhere, home, work, school. No one wants to feel alone and rejected.

Shame can be so mentally excruciating that we are stopped in our tracks or run away from the pain. And that is normal.

How to heal shame: very difficult without mindfulness. But certainly achievable by doing the important work of examining your mental health. There is Mr. Burgo’s book plus the classic book on shame by John Bradshaw. There are thousands of articles and books available plus it’s really helpful to have a therapist so you can work through the core emotion of shame.

Shame: Free Yourself, Find Joy and Build True Self Esteem by Mr. Joseph Burgo
Healing the Shame That Binds You – John Bradshaw.
Both books are a good starting point for examining shame.
Carry on. You can do this.

 

Nov7

Thoughtful Thursday #278 – On Being Proud

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When we feel proud our shoulders are erect, chest out, we walk without ego but with the sense of deep satisfaction and pleasure in our abilities and accomplishments. We feel grounded, balanced and strong.

What a wonderful way to live, unfortunately most of those moments are short lived.

How can we increase this ability to feel proud more often and on a regular basis?

All is not lost.

Make a list of every activity that makes you feel proud and accomplished. For example, finished your to do list, wrote in your diary, sang your favorite song, made time for your favorite hobby, made your mental health a priority for a while, talked compassionately to your inner self, ate well for one meal, made an effort to exercise, made an effort to be mindful of your actions, paid attention to what distracts you.

Make your own special list, your own original, signature, lifestyle list that belongs to you.

DO MORE OF WHAT MAKES YOU PROUD, stick to it, don’t give up, involve yourself with those who share your interests, take baby steps, little tiny baby steps toward your own happiness, and be proud of your effort.

When involved with more and more activities that give you a deep sense of satisfaction something magical happens, something incognito and deceptively subtle happens.

Ever so slowly, you will become boldly self-assured, lack fear, be free from anxiety and know for certain you have chosen the right path of action for you.

Will any of this happen fast – not at all, this journey is about intimately discovering your talents, your dreams, your sore points, what you will tolerate and not tolerate.

You will learn about yourself so well that you will take actions toward creating your own-one of a kind – precious life. You are so worth it, and don’t you dare believe otherwise.

Carry on.

 

Jan17

Thoughtful Thursday #243 – How To Get Unstuck

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Are you a victim to perfectionism or failure, racing thoughts, numbness, confusion, addictions, inability to trust, poor self talk?

We can treat ourselves in such an awful way by not taking care of ourselves physically and mentally.

Actually mental health is paramount for a successful life.

One way of easing our troubled minds is to ask questions.
Why was I triggered by that comment, why did I slink away from a potential intimate moment, why did I run away so fast that it actually scared me, why did I act that way?

Take a piece of paper or open a word document and start writing every possible scenario, keep going until you can’t think of anything else. By doing this you release all the power of holding these types of concerns in your head.

I guarantee you will be surprised at the insight and peace you experience.  Asking questions to yourself is another tool in your resource box for getting unstuck and have clear mental health.

Oct18

Thoughtful Thursday #232 Grief

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It is not easy to feel grief, we avoid it at all costs with distractions galore.

Allowing yourself to feel grief and cry and rage and weep are very healing actions to take you forward.

Grief that is not felt is invisible and holds you back. Clues that you are not feeling grief is lots of unfounded fear, perhaps you feel numb, anxious.

How can you get to a point where you can organically feel grief? Writing, talking to someone you trust, exercise, getting educated on recognizing grief, find a support group, being really good to yourself because you are hurting.

Grief work is a very personal journey, there is no timeframe, no right and wrong to process grief and your coping strategy will belong only to you. Only you have to validate this.

Is grief work easy, no it is not. It’s uncomfortable, the good news is that every opportunity you have to process and express grief the quicker it goes away.