Tag Archives: writing

Thoughtful Thursday #309 – In Service To Humanity

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With today’s negativity on TV and radio and magazines and hurt people acting out violently we can get sucked into the drama very easily and end up feeling hopeless and afraid.

Focusing on the external will make you feel you must react in some way. Not necessarily.

If you make your reference point external and have that run your day you are unwittingly acting from victim consciousness, when we operate from a victim consciousness we give away all our power to external people and events.

Note: people who are hurting aka victims, hurt other people which creates more victim consciousness. Think of the bully who has to hurt others because he/she is hurt.

When we meet angry events with the same polarity and divisiveness that created the angry event, and we are meeting those events with low level reactions and we are  postponing a greater world.

A world of peace, love, compassion, respect for all sentient beings, the openness to talk to one another and expand our wonderful world of exceptional humans and believe it or not, most people want this. Most people want to live in peace and safety.

Instead take a break from the negativity and choose a higher form of action:

  1. refuse to get taken in by unhealthy actions of those who wish to harm.
  2. have gratitude for the ability to choose your reactions.
  3. find reasons to feel positive.
  4. find people who you can love and that love you.
  5. send good wishes and pure feelings to everyone.
  6. take the time to think and understand what is going on in your life.
  7. take the time to think about how to react.
  8. be kind whenever possible.

Let’s build each other up instead of tearing down, let’s be of a greater service to humanity. Let’s be united for a better world with positivity. All of us.

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #308 – Judgement VS Opinion

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According to Google:

Opinions are beliefs, not necessarily based on facts. They are personal preferences that take into consideration one’s mood, the mindset of the crowd being addressed and the overall environment of the situation. Judgement is more of an assessment which takes information into consideration.

Let’s step back for a moment, with recent triggering events that are still resonating in the world, emotional cries for unseen justice, threatening gestures to and from strangers, fear of speaking our mind, forced silence and an incredible amount of ungroundedness and no direction, let’s take a moment to reflect. What behaviors are we observing from humanity and what are we observing about ourselves.

Not only are these events triggering for trauma survivors but also for most of our friends and neighbors and those that we wish we could get to know better.

As a self care option we can use the above definitions of opinions and judgement to help us define and name what we feel and identify some of the inner workings of our mind especially when triggered with uncertainty. Ask yourself if you are reacting with opinion or considering facts.

What is within my control and what is not within my control.

Let’s practice kindness to yourself first then to others, visualize a peaceful place, quiet your mind, listen to music, check in with yourself, what is your self talk, talk to a therapist, be self compassionate,

It’s really important to find a way to become grounded and as peaceful as possible, from this perspective we can navigate our world much more effectively and in an mature matter.

You are important, you are special, you belong on this planet, let’s be good to ourselves and others by not being swayed by the rash opinions of others, let’s be as calm as possible. The world and all it’s beautiful inhabitants need great calm and understanding right now.

And if you are reading this you are one of the ambassadors of peace.

Carry on.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #306 – Healing The World

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Healing the world is a wonderful altruistic goal, unfortunately no one can. There will always be people who are not willing to help the world.

Why, because they are stuck in their own trauma, everyone has trauma in one form or another, you can see it in your everyday interactions. Someone is angry, untouchable, has heavy emotional baggage, bitter, unhappy, sabotaging, etc.

However to heal the world you much do the very hard and important inner work of examining your own life, it will take great effort but the positive results will be permanent, you will be happier, calmer, brilliantly confident and unafraid of  living your best life.

Do the work, you are worth the effort and the world needs more healed people to help heal the world.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #305 – IFS aka Internal Family System

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In case you never heard of IFS it is a remarkable therapy for healing, it’s based on the premise that we all are comprised of many mental and emotional parts.

(Paraphrased from their literature).  IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz over the last 30 years. This model is a transformative and evidence based model of psychotherapy. Our inner parts have valuable qualities and our core self knows how to heal. IFS is a new movement for understanding the mind, harmonizing the mind and heals the mind.

I have been practicing this method for five years and I can tell you from first hand experience that the results I have gotten are miraculous, permanent and made me grow emotionally by leaps and bounds.

So if you have tried other types of psychotherapy and not much has helped try IFS.

Contact http://www.IFS-Institute.com.

Thoughtful Thursday #304 – Dissociative Amnesia

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I have dissociative amnesia, remember very little before the age of 18, with a mother who was schizophrenic and a father who was an addict my life was chaos. So dissociation was my friend and helped me survive.

Here’s a really good explanation of the condition.

From the book: Human Development and Trauma by Darius Cikanavicius

Page 145 and 145.

Dissociative Amnesia

Do you know people who can’t remember their childhood or only vaguely remember it? How about people who can’t remember years, even decades, of their lives? They may have dissociative amnesia, and their reason for it , as troubling as might see, make sense.

To begin, when children experience severe or prolonged traumas, they often forget about it. The memories are simply too painful and even dangerous for them to recall. Remembering only makes their lives worse, especially when they have no choice but to continue living with their abusers. Children are vulnerable and when they have no allies they are particularly ill equipped to process their traumas correctly, As a coping mechanism they dissociate, that is, split off from their memories and feelings and despite the consequences of this, it does allow for them to survive.

Many times these memories, and the intellectual, psychological, emotional and physical realizations that go along with them, never do resurface to consciousness, it the individual remains emotionally unprepared for them, for many, this never happens. But if a person begins to heal and grow, they will slowly begin to remember and process their past, at which point their painful memories and all that go along with them will begin to return. That is, the amnesia will begin to dissipate.

Hope that helps.

Thoughtful Thursday #299 – Recovering from Covid 19

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I have Covid 19 and I am recovering, I had fever, aches and pains, fatigue, migraines, loss of smell and taste. Most of my symptoms are gone except for the loss of smell and taste.

This illness wiped me out for nearly 4 weeks, I caught it because a family member was infected first, this illness is very slow moving and not much relieves the symptoms expect for Tylenol and vitamins like C and lots of zinc.

I am lucky, as bad as my symptoms got I did not end up in the hospital.

We are not out of the woods yet, please follow the CDC guidelines and take this illness seriously.

Stay safe.

Thoughtful Thursday #298 – Coronavirus and Panic

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Coronavirus pandemic is causing tremendous panic to everyone. People are hoarding essentials, emptying  grocery shelves, and businesses are overcharging for safety material.  That is more than enough to cause a panic in addition to the possiblity in catching the coronavirus.

Panic is a natural response to what is happening, there is a sense of loss in many areas, our normal routines, restricted freedom, minimum socializing, noticing stores are overcharging  for everything, this is to name a few losses.

It’s OK, this is a temporary situation and at this point we are entrenched in this new norm and many of us are thinking about all the possibilities that can occur when this is over.

Self care is most important during this time. Do what it takes to get grounded and calm, look at happy movies and videos, turn off the news, reach out to others on social media, find a way to get peaceful and connected. And follow the CDC guidelines.

We will come out of this, this is guaranteed, so in this period of isolation be creative in your self care.

Stay safe and well.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #297 – Attachment Trauma and Injuries

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There are a number of attachment styles that people adopt. Anxious, Avoidant, Secure, Dismissive. These are the four major styles, You can look up the details on Google.

Attachment injuries come from mostly from family of origin issues.

How do you know you have an attachment issue, your relationships are not working, you feel invisible, you are not getting your needs met, you are allowing others to sabotage and abuse you somehow.

This is heavy stuff so I want to share an expert Attachment Trauma, relationship coach and Psychotherapist Alan Robarge, Here’s a video explaining this issue.

Hope you find it healing.

Thoughtful Thursday #296 – Coronavirus

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Most of the United States is on lock down to flatten the curve of the Coronavirus.

Please follow the authorities directive, it could save your life.

In the meantime if you are anxious and fearful and concerned about your mental health please reach out to a mental health professional. Check in your area or call your local hospital for a referral. Or find resources online.

Stay home, if you don’t feel well reach out to a doctor. This will all be over in a few weeks.

I hope all of you are well and stay well.