Monthly Archives: April 2015

Thoughtful Thursdays #91 Arguing With Yourself

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Are you unhappy with what is happening at the moment or events that have happened in the past?

That is arguing with yourself.

Frustrated and overreacting with everyday dramas?

That is arguing with yourself.

Are you over thinking, feeling stuck and have racing thoughts?

That is arguing with yourself.

Worried, fearful, stinking thinking?

That is arguing with yourself.

The antidote:

Accept what is going on right now without judgement.

There really is nothing in your current circumstances

that can stop you from making the changes you need to make to be happy.

Stop arguing with yourself.

How Blogging Saved my Sorry Writer’s Ass

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Anita Rodgers "Writer Chick" Blog

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Started out innocent enough. A writer friend was going on vacation, could I cover his blog while he was gone? A blog? WTF is a blog? He showed me the ropes:

  • Where to find images
  • How to post a blog
  • What categories and tags were
  • How to respond to comments

Back then you needed a handle, a blogger’s name, an avatar. Because you know, back then we didn’t use our actual names. Privacy and all that, right? So for lack of a better idea I went with Writer Chick (who knew it would stick?).

So….I blogged for him. I wrote about whatever came into my head. My first post was called Cream Boogers.  Surprisingly, people liked it.

After a week of this, I kinda got the blogging bug. So when he came back I started my own blog. I was scared. It was weird. I mean, who’d want to…

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Thoughtful Thursdays # 90 – The Voices In Your Head

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There is one voice in your head which is the one that is constantly chatting, has racing thoughts and is fatality minded.  It’s the voice that can send you from the highest hopes to the deepest despair.  The voice in your head will automatically default to what is negative. Especially when things are going good.

But it is not you.

There is another voice in your head that is barely audible. It is drowned out by the chatting and racing thoughts etc. We can’t hear it because we don’t listen for it. This is the real you.

How can we observe what we are thinking to get clarity?

Detach from your thoughts and feelings and observe them. Thoughts are like waves in an ocean. Waves rise, crest and crash on the shore. Let your thoughts rise but don’t react to them. Let them crest observing them. Let them crash out of your consciousness.  Let them go without judgement.

Then relax. Take a breath.

In the action of daily activities this may not be possible. There are ways of carving out time for getting in touch with the quiet voice.

Meditate, go for a walk, exercise, do art, write, do something that is not part of your regular routine.

You will know that you are making progress when you feel at peace.

Happy Listening!

 

 

 

Thoughtful Thursdays # 89 Commitment

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What is commitment?

Dedication to a cause.  It is loyalty, devotion, a promise, a pledge, an action that transform something into reality.

We can commit to pay our bills on time.

We can promise to be faithful to someone.

We can pledge to self-improvement.

So why is it so hard to transform our actions into a realistic outcome?

Because we don’t commit with our whole being. Commitment requires a certain amount of fearlessness and being uncomfortable with change. So how do we start?

Slowly, very slowly because with small changes, tiny choices one by one eventually become the commitment to change anything for the better.

 

 

FAQ – Does the Narcissist Miss You After No Contact?

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Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

Sad Woman

A large percentage of people who’ve implemented No Contact with their Narcissistic partner will inevitably ask this question.  Why?  Because they are often consumed with missing the Narcissist, and they wonder if he or she has the same feelings of loss and sorrow…perhaps wondering if there’s a chance to rekindle the relationship.

The short answer is no.  When we wonder if the Narcissist misses us, we are projecting our loving, caring feelings onto them.  The important thing to remember is that Narcissists do not think the way we do, nor experience the same emotions.  They operate solely from ego, so the usual emotions of missing someone or feelings of sadness and regret typically don’t affect them.  Below are the most common stages (emotional and physical) a Narcissist goes through when one has implemented No Contact (**These are not listed in order of rank.   These stages are for reference and can manifest…

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Thoughtful Thursdays # 88 – Sit With It

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I had a very interesting experience this week. I was extremely emotional. I had racing thoughts and crying outbursts. This experience was brought on by a series of events that tapped into my fears.

I remembered Pema Chodron’s suggestion. Sit with it. Sit with the feelings that are troubling you without picking up food, a drink, or any other distraction.

I did sit with the feelings and it hurt really bad. I wanted to run away, disappear, die, dive into a pie and surf the web, cry and throw up.

But I didn’t. The troubling feelings lasted about three days.

The fear I was feeling was from a past trauma. Each event reminiscent of the trauma flashed before my mind and it all made sense. All the times I ran away from feeling the fear, all the times I distracted my self, all the times I made excuses, basically to protect myself.

The fear left because I faced it. My feelings are still raw but the intensity of the fear on a scale of one to ten is a one.

Next time you are emotionally out of control, depressed, sad or troubled. Just sit with it. Don’t run away. Feel everything.

You will expand your understanding of how you operate. From understanding and knowledge about yourself changes your entire life for the better. That’s a guarantee.

Happy exploring.

OM