Tag Archives: freedom

Thoughful Thursday #258 – Frequency

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I don’t want to get all esoteric on you but we all vibrate at our own frequency.

Ever notice how you will meet someone who is passionate about the same things you are. You are both resonating with each other.

Ever notice how if you make up your mind to do something, then you get  everything you need to accomplish that something.

Ever notice how worry is a frequency for chaos, you worry then you bring negative results.

Ever notice that when your frequency is grounded, new opportunities and people flow into your life.

Yup, it’s all frequency, sometimes you meet someone and you just click. That is vibrating at the same frequency. Ever meet someone you really dislike, that is frequency.

These vibes are that mysterious thing that Mother Nature does to every living thing, it’s just one of the many ways she speaks to us and through us. These vibes are communicated and felt by others.

Our emotions, physical and mental states have vibes, our food has vibes, animals, places, the wind, the ocean, the world has vibes. Everything has a vibrational frequency.

It is so very helpful to pay attention to the vibes you pick up, this can give you vital information for making your little universe a happier and better place to live in.

Thoughtful Thursday #257 – Limitations Are Not Real

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Arguing for your limitations: it is so frustrating to hear someone insist that there is no way out of their uncomfortable situation, that they have no choices to choose from, that there trapped in a box and can’t get out.

To insist on believing that you are helpless is an argument in favor of you own self-imposed limitations. Stop doing that, you must stop creating your own traps, be curious about different ways of dealing with a situation, write your choices down and make them real, without distraction go inside of yourself and ask what you need to know, search for information that may be helpful in your quest.

If any of these suggestions make you cringe then friend I am here to tell you the truth of what is happening inside of you. It is fear, fear of change, not being good enough, not being worthy, retaliation for moving forward, the list goes on and on.

It is fear that causes one to argue for their limitations. Resistance is fear and resistance is the indicator that you must go towards what you fear because that is where your answers are.

You are never trapped, there is always an answer to your situation, and you are not helpless.

Will the change you so desperately crave be easy, nope it will not be easy. You will be required to put in effort to uncover what you need to change course and put yourself back on the road to your own happiness and continue creating a wonderful, miraculous life that you so rightly deserve.

Get started now, you are so worth it.

 

 

Thoughtful Thursday #256 – Determination

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Deciding to be determined is to act without making excuses for our own inaction. It’s an end to waiting to see if our circumstances change.

When we get discouraged we can remind ourselves that it is our own actions that can lift us up instead of waiting for and outside influence to help us.

There is no limit to determination: we can always extend it,

Our own determination can never be taken from us.

Determination is the vow we make to ourselves to get up again and again after falling. When we fail we learn and change the direction of our determination.

The moment you resolve to succeed using your determination everything will shift in your favor.

Try it, it will work, you are so worth the effort.

Thoughtful Thursday – #255 – May Is Mental Health Month

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Here in USA it is May is Mental Health Month. The idea behind this is to bring out in the open any mental health issues and get rid of any stigma attached to it.

Trauma, substance abuse, mental illness, OCD, PTSD are just a few manifestations of mental health challenges.

There is nothing wrong with having mental health challenges and it’s important not to let these challenges fester. The sooner you take an interest in your own mental health the better you will feel. Go to therapy, read up on the issues bothering you, write, exercise, explore a hobby, continue the list in your own way.

It won’t be easy but you are so worth the effort.

Thoughtful thursday #251 – Thoughts And Actions

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There are two things that we have complete control over. Our thoughts and actions. That is pretty much it.

Things that go on outside of us are uncontrollable. We may have a chance to use our own actions to influence the event. That is still controlling our actions. We can take an action that will influence our own lives or someone else’s in a positive way.

We can’t stop our thoughts, that is the purpose of our mind is to think but we can stop useless thoughts by practicing redirecting our thoughts. For example, if someone is talking bad about you or someone else you can choose to stop those negative thoughts that put you down the rabbit hole of despair and change the subject to something positive.

Take note: This kind of mindfulness is not easy, when you start and you can expect your mind to resist change. This is good because resistance will show you where you need look at your own issues. Be kind to yourself as you make these positive changes, if you become distracted, redirect when you can. You are worth the effort.

Thoughtful Thursday #241 – Am I Unloveable

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Sometimes our behavior makes us seem unloveable. We get unflattering feedback of our strange behavior and cringe with embarrassment. We get rejected because we seem aloof and unapproachable. Maybe we are single and think we just have not found the right person. Or perhaps we think we need a trip to Tibet to find ourselves. Are we that strange?

A Full Stop is Necessary.

Part of maturity and growing as a person is asking questions.

How am I making my life difficult. We may draw a blank here but keep asking.

How do I react when I am  annoyed, angry, happy.

How do I react when I am tired. Am I difficult around money, what do I worry about. What are my beliefs around sex.

There are tons of questions to ask and none of them are meant to make you feel guilty. The answers to these questions are to make you aware of your own patterns and how others in your life may perceive them, be it annoying or not.

Growing up to be a whole human is not easy but step by step you will become how you are meant to be.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #232 Grief

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It is not easy to feel grief, we avoid it at all costs with distractions galore.

Allowing yourself to feel grief and cry and rage and weep are very healing actions to take you forward.

Grief that is not felt is invisible and holds you back. Clues that you are not feeling grief is lots of unfounded fear, perhaps you feel numb, anxious.

How can you get to a point where you can organically feel grief? Writing, talking to someone you trust, exercise, getting educated on recognizing grief, find a support group, being really good to yourself because you are hurting.

Grief work is a very personal journey, there is no timeframe, no right and wrong to process grief and your coping strategy will belong only to you. Only you have to validate this.

Is grief work easy, no it is not. It’s uncomfortable, the good news is that every opportunity you have to process and express grief the quicker it goes away.

 

Thoughtful Thursday #227 – Non Attachment

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I am a bit of a hoarder – there I said it. I hoard stuff and not just a little bit, but a lot of stuff.

I’m trying to find a way around getting unattached to my stuff. But it’s hard. I have books and  clothes and fabric and tools and dishes and antiques and artwork and many memories and furniture and on and on.

One part of me is entwined with a strange comfort of having so much stuff.

And the other part is teary eyed at the thought of losing the comfort I feel surrounded by my stuff.

I did manage to sell one thing online and it was an interesting emotional experience.

I got a little handmade African canister for free and I didn’t “emotionally” want to let it go.  I listed it online to sell it and when the winning bid came in I knew it had to go.

As I wrapped it up to mail it out I was sad. I don’t know exactly why but that little canister made me happy on some level.

One part of me feels efficient, mature, responsible even proud of making a few bucks online.

The other part of me feels sad at the loss of a beautiful object.

Alas, the efficient part of me won out.

Non attachment takes great effort and in my case not all at once.

My non attachment practice is to slowly drop items I don’t really need one at a time.

As I wallow between hollow sadness of letting go of my stuff and losing track of stuff that has been temporarily mine I slowly move more of my stuff on for someone else to enjoy.

Grounding And Unsettled Thinking

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To ground oneself in an effort to gain healthy mental health is very necessary. It’s not easy because we get caught up stuck in our heads, thinking too much.

Grounding helps us to calm down our minds so we can get clarity. Grounding facilitates that emotional release we need to heal ourselves.

We can’t heal ourselves from unsettled thinking through a cerebral process. It doesn’t work that way. Our unexpressed emotions and unexpressed truths will consume us until they are looked at and this is where grounding comes in.

Here are a few examples of grounding that worked for me:

  1. focusing on the breath gradually working up to about 2 minutes.
  2. paying attention to what you are thinking and write it down.
  3. coming back to the present moment, what are you doing at that moment.
  4. meditation, quiet time, reflection.
  5. do artwork, draw, paint, doodle, sew, knit, woodwork any kind of crafts.
  6. write, even if it is a word, or sentence, write what you hear, write from the heart.
  7. listen to music, any music that you like.
  8. take a walk, breath in deep, look at nature, go to the ocean.
  9. take a different action, redirect your actions.
  10. exercise, any exercise is better than none.

Grounding is an important part of getting in touch with your body where a lot of negativity, hidden memories, and confusion  is stored.

Our mind needs grounding for clarity and our bodies need grounding to get rid of stored negativity, hidden memories and confusion that it holds.

By practicing grounding on a regular basis, even once a week reaps great benefit and help change your thinking by changing your emotional life for the better.

 

Abandonment

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Here’s a list of what abandonment is from Susan Anderson’s book “The Journey from Abandonment to Healing” Pages 5 and 6. Susan Anderson has a blog with tons of information on the serious subject of “Abandonment”.

What is abandonment?

A feeling

A feeling of isolation within a relationship

An intense feeling of devastation when a relationship ends.

A primal fear – the raw element that makes going through heartbreak, divorce, separation or bereavement cut so deep

An aloneness not by choice

An experience from childhood

A baby left on a doorstep

A divorce

A woman left by her husband of twenty years for another woman

A man being left by his fiancée for some “more successful”

A mother leaving her children

A father leaving his children

A friend feeling deserted by a friend

A child whose pet dies

A little girl grieving over the death of her mother

A little boy wanting his mommy to come pick him up from nursery school

A child who feels replaced by the birth of another sibling

A child feeling restless because of his parents emotional unavailability

A boy realizing that he is gay and anticipating the reaction of his parents

A teenager feeling that her heart is actually broken

A teenage boy afraid to approach the girl he loves

A woman who has raised now grown children feeling empty as if she has been deserted

A child stricken with a serious illness watching his friends play while he must use a wheelchair or remain in bed

A woman who has lost her job and with it her professional identity, financial security and status

A man who has been put out to pasture by his company as if he is obsolete

A dying woman who fears being abandoned by loved one as much as or more that she fears pain and death

Abandonment is all of this and more. It’s wound is at the heart of human experience.

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You could add to the list but I think you get the message, the important thing here is to name what the feeling is.

Abandonment is so very painful, it is a feeling we have all experienced at one time or another. There is a PTSD component to abandonment which leaves it victims with shame, low self-esteem, and fear just to name a few of abandonment influences.

There is hope for survival and recovery, it will not be easy, you will have to do the important work of reaching deep within yourself and uncover the pain that is just below the surface of your awareness. Most of the time this work is not done alone. Counseling, or writing or exercising, read books on the subject, mindfulness and finding some way of getting to  the trauma that abandonment left behind.

You have to help yourself just enough to lift you. You are worth the effort. Don’t give up.