Tag Archives: freedom

Sep3

Thoughtful Thursday #315 – Self Awareness and Self Consciousness

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Self-conscious is when you feel extreme awareness of your appearance or actions. It is the knowledge of your own existence. Could feel uncomfortable at times. Self-consciousness is much more about what is external.

Self-awareness is when you can see yourself clearly with some objectivity with reflection and introspection. Self-awareness is much about what is going in internally.

If we can find a small wedge of detachment in your thinking, we can get a sense of either self-consciousness or self-awareness.

Developing a healthy sense of self requires that we know about both subjects, the value is the better you know yourself the better you know others which makes for healthier relationships.

Self-awareness is quite important because it allows us to deeply know ourselves better, what makes us tick, what makes us angry, happy, bored or interested. We can look honestly at our own actions with clarity and choose a wiser path.

Learning to have a healthy sense of self is a lifelong journey, there is no one way to learn, everyone is unique. It is so important to care enough about ourselves to take the time to know ourselves intimately.

You will gain confidence, insight, direction and goodness and no one can ever take that from you.

 

 

Aug20

Thoughtful Thursday #313 – Being An Individual

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There is no team in the game of life, we are all individuals, we may belong to groups, have families, friends, careers but we primarily have to depend on ourselves.

We go out into the world vulnerable, and we must realize it’s all up to ourselves, and at times it’s scary.

As a result, from all the different experiences we encounter we end up building our character and confidence which is something no one can ever take away.

It’s up to us to correct, learn and take care of ourselves and perhaps others along the way. Being an individual is finding the meaning of life for you and no one else and the is the way it is supposed to be.

Jun4

Thoughtful Thursday #304 – Dissociative Amnesia

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I have dissociative amnesia, remember very little before the age of 18, with a mother who was schizophrenic and a father who was an addict my life was chaos. So dissociation was my friend and helped me survive.

Here’s a really good explanation of the condition.

From the book: Human Development and Trauma by Darius Cikanavicius

Page 145 and 145.

Dissociative Amnesia

Do you know people who can’t remember their childhood or only vaguely remember it? How about people who can’t remember years, even decades, of their lives? They may have dissociative amnesia, and their reason for it , as troubling as might see, make sense.

To begin, when children experience severe or prolonged traumas, they often forget about it. The memories are simply too painful and even dangerous for them to recall. Remembering only makes their lives worse, especially when they have no choice but to continue living with their abusers. Children are vulnerable and when they have no allies they are particularly ill equipped to process their traumas correctly, As a coping mechanism they dissociate, that is, split off from their memories and feelings and despite the consequences of this, it does allow for them to survive.

Many times these memories, and the intellectual, psychological, emotional and physical realizations that go along with them, never do resurface to consciousness, it the individual remains emotionally unprepared for them, for many, this never happens. But if a person begins to heal and grow, they will slowly begin to remember and process their past, at which point their painful memories and all that go along with them will begin to return. That is, the amnesia will begin to dissipate.

Hope that helps.

Apr9

Thoughtful Thursday #298 – Coronavirus and Panic

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Coronavirus pandemic is causing tremendous panic to everyone. People are hoarding essentials, emptying  grocery shelves, and businesses are overcharging for safety material.  That is more than enough to cause a panic in addition to the possiblity in catching the coronavirus.

Panic is a natural response to what is happening, there is a sense of loss in many areas, our normal routines, restricted freedom, minimum socializing, noticing stores are overcharging  for everything, this is to name a few losses.

It’s OK, this is a temporary situation and at this point we are entrenched in this new norm and many of us are thinking about all the possibilities that can occur when this is over.

Self care is most important during this time. Do what it takes to get grounded and calm, look at happy movies and videos, turn off the news, reach out to others on social media, find a way to get peaceful and connected. And follow the CDC guidelines.

We will come out of this, this is guaranteed, so in this period of isolation be creative in your self care.

Stay safe and well.

 

Apr2

Thoughtful Thursday #297 – Attachment Trauma and Injuries

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There are a number of attachment styles that people adopt. Anxious, Avoidant, Secure, Dismissive. These are the four major styles, You can look up the details on Google.

Attachment injuries come from mostly from family of origin issues.

How do you know you have an attachment issue, your relationships are not working, you feel invisible, you are not getting your needs met, you are allowing others to sabotage and abuse you somehow.

This is heavy stuff so I want to share an expert Attachment Trauma, relationship coach and Psychotherapist Alan Robarge, Here’s a video explaining this issue.

Hope you find it healing.

Mar27

Thoughtful Thursday #296 – Coronavirus

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Most of the United States is on lock down to flatten the curve of the Coronavirus.

Please follow the authorities directive, it could save your life.

In the meantime if you are anxious and fearful and concerned about your mental health please reach out to a mental health professional. Check in your area or call your local hospital for a referral. Or find resources online.

Stay home, if you don’t feel well reach out to a doctor. This will all be over in a few weeks.

I hope all of you are well and stay well.

Feb27

Thoughtful Thursday #293 – Processing Emotions

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This poster is from the Gottman Institute on how to process difficult emotions. This poster is just another tool in your toolbox for promoting good mental health.

You’re welcome.

Carry on.

 

Jan23

Thoughtful Thursday #288 – Others Stories

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I was listening to the former Miss America of 1958 Marilyn Van Derbur story who is a survivor of incest. This is not the first time I have listened to her story and I read her book.

I listen to a lot of other people’s personal survivor stories, these stories remind me that I am not the only one in the world who is a survivor of mentally ill caregivers. I am not the only one in the world who has to recover from horrific childhood conditions.

Listening to many courageous folks talk about their trauma experiences and their personal journey to recovery validates my trauma experience and personal recovery journey. And I am sure when I share my story of trauma I am an inspiration also.

I have given speeches and written about my life’s experiences for a long time now and I know I am taking the chance of stigmatizing myself as a victim but that is OK because as long as I can help someone on their own journey of trauma recovery I have done the right thing.

Here’s the takeaway: Share your story, listen to other folds stories that resonate with you. Your life’s story will be an inspiration and upliftment to someone, whether you know the person or not. Sharing your story is one small act of kindness and compassion for yourself and for someone else.

Thanks for reading and thanks for your courage.

 

 

Nov21

Thoughtful Thursday #280 – Processing Emotions In Vicarious Ways

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Vicarious – Meaning -experienced in the imagination through the feelings or actions of another person.

I never liked fluffy stories with forced happy endings like on the Hallmark channel,  I prefer to know what makes the characters tick even if there is a strange ending, on a regular basis I prefer non-fiction.

It is common that being in a psychologically dysfunctional environment growing up or as an adult it is unsafe to express our emotions.

When our emotions are not validated we can get them validated through music, art, reading stories, crime dramas, going to the movies, etc. you can add to the list.

We can better understand what we are feeling through these venues, we can relate to the struggles, fear, sadness, injustice or joy of the characters. By having these venues to relate to is a beginning to finding some safety within to express ourselves.

You are not alone, given the magnitude of how many people use these outlets all of us are using them to validate our own expressiveness.

Carry on. Express away.

Nov14

Thoughtful Thursday #279 – Reinvention

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It’s normal and necessary to reinvent ourselves over and over during our entire lifetime.

How do we reinvent ourselves, by changing the way we behave just like a singer who reinvents their career over and over. You are no different from a celebrity. You are the star of your own life and can grow and adapt as you go on in your precious life.

Don’t be afraid to experiment, you don’t have to explain or justify the new you, get out of your comfort zone, be honest with yourself and others.

Make your one and only life happy for you over and over. Find your courage, set some goals, create a plan, write it all down on paper, you can always change it as you go along, you may even have to relentlessly reassess. And take your time there is no finish line.

Have fun while you are at it and remind yourself every day that you are worth the effort.