I made a cake called Black Magic Cake in honor of the full moon, in honor of my dark side. The side that is hidden, the side with raw emotions. My friend Christopher asked me who I was going to hex with the cake. I got a laugh about that but it made me define just exactly what the dark side is for me.
It is the dark of our emotional life, the part that we cry in the night about. The part that is ashamed and holds secrets that we decided to go to our grave with. It is grief, sadness and mournful pain, the murderous rage and hatred. It is the part that is unhealed.
Making this cake is to give a voice to those uncomfortable feelings that need to be expressed. I usually write them out or do art to express myself but this time I tried something different. I baked a cake.
My advice to you is to unravel those strange feelings and sensations. There are messages there that want to be heard. Honor yourself enough to express yourself in a positive way. If you squash your dark side it has a way of showing up in unhealthy patterns.
Be curious enough to examine your dark side without judgment. There is no right way or wrong way of living your life. It is your path alone and very sacred. Make this journey important. Look at your dark side and be healed.
Depression – Ugh – That feeling that nothing matters and all is hopeless. But lets take another look. Depression just might be your friend. It is probably telling you something is wrong. Maybe its your job, relationships, the drug you use, the lifestyle you have, and that it’s time for a change.
The reason you feel so bad is that you refuse to listen to the changes you need to make. Change is hard but it’s better than living in a constant state of misery and hopelessness.
Don’t believe the lies that your fear will tell you that you are helpless to change. That is not true. You are capable of doing anything you want to do.
Now get out there and make a plan. Do one baby step. Only baby steps. Only baby steps work. You can do it.
When you were little you learned lots of stuff. How to play and cooperate and dream. However, if you have had a childhood you have had a trauma. What happens when there is neglect and harassment and trauma?
All memories are held in your body. Your mind does not have to recall exact situations but your body will remember. For example, have you ever heard, smelled or tasted something reminiscent of the past? Did it make you sick to your stomach or happy? Those are held memories in your body.
At some point, if situations are too much, your mind may shut down to protect you. Your body will remember seeing your pet killed. Your body will remember verbal abuse. Your body will remember everything that had a negative impact. Your mind will see something similar to the trauma experienced and you will feel it in your body.
Any belief about abuse being normal is never true. The person doing the abuse believes that its OK to abuse. That is a false belief. The child takes on the belief that they deserve to be abused. That is a false belief. These false beliefs become intrinsic as if they are normal and true. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The truth is if your life is less than desirable and you are stuck, examine your beliefs. Look for an experienced trauma therapist. Find it in yourself to learn why you make the choices that you do.
One of the simplest free ways of healing is to listen to mediation videos or music. There’s plenty on youtube.com and with the help of a therapist you will transcend false beliefs and live a much happier life.
If you don’t feel safe in your own skin, in your environment, in your mind, in any situation (other than life threatening) then you will not see opportunities to grow.
If you feel safe there is a sense of freedom. There is the belief that there are many possibilities. There is courage to try new things. There is hope. There is generosity.
Safety has a lot to do with what you believe. If your beliefs have made it difficult to feel safe, it’s time to examine these beliefs. Challange them, look them square in the eye and tell them to move over it’s time for a change. A change for the better.
Your freedom is precious, protect it, honor it, it belongs to you. You are free to choose anything. Start small and in a short time your courage will make you feel safe.
Safe enough it change your world. Wow.
Children are not the only group to succumb to peer pressure.
I recently saw peer pressure at work at my office. One person clearly expressed a personal desire. Not anything out of the ordinary and announced he wanted to pursue an action to improve his life. The second person became so enraged with jealousy because he did not think of it first and is making the first persons life miserable. Unfortunately, person one is subordinate to person two.
The first person is now quiet and dejected, embarrassed and ostracized for the moment. It will change because person one has bent over to peer pressure and the threat of financial ruin.
How stupid it is to be jealous and use your power to hurt someone else especially in a professional environment. The second person won’t get anywhere. The only thing accomplished was a show of power.
How sad and frustrating it is to be forced to act fake in order to survive. How sad to live in fear of being whipped and beaten by a nobody who thinks they are entitled to beat down others for ego purposes.
What is the resolve? I don’t know at the moment. I hope person one gets what they want and person two gets what they deserve.
I bet you didn’t know that you have super powers.
You have the power to not let anything disturb you.
You have the power to go with the flow of life.
You have the power to see an obstacle as a stepping stone.
You have the power to discern what is true and what is false.
You have the power to walk away.
You have the power to create the life you want.
Go on and do what it takes to make a wonderful life.
You are a superhero.
From Pema Chrodon
Death is Certain
The hour of Death is not Certain
Pick what is Important
The places that scare you are not meant to hurt you.
Fear is meant to get your attention.
For example, worry and procrastination are forms of fear. Find a way to detach from the worry and procrastination. Detach emotionally, be an observer.
In that place you will find the lie that you are not good enough.
Don’t believe lies because they come from fear.
Face the fear and move in any direction that will help you be the person you are most happy to be.
Waking up to who we are is too important to ignore.
In Buddhism and psychology there is a method of healing that is easy in theory but difficult to do, unless you have trust.
I recently had some recurring flashbacks from the past. These feelings were a mystery that I have had since I was a child. My body felt like it was stinging. My mind was racing with desperation and longing, unidentifiable restlessness. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It was such a familiar feeling full of pain, hot tears and wanting an end to the pain.
I got still and trusted myself enough to be quiet and detached.
I let my mind go to that dark place where these feelings began and I had a revelation that the feelings I relived were of abandonment. On a gut level I knew I was revisiting trauma from the past in what seems to be many years ago and almost an eternity ago. The memories flooded my mind. All the poor decisions based on my abandonment issues saturated my being. I understood how abandonment effected me. How abandonment was pervasive. I was not sad, just relived. I was fortunate enough to trust myself to sit with the feelings without running away from them.
Not running away from my feelings was the perfect way to get through the things that were holding me back on a very deep level.
Conclusion: Trust your mind it knows what it needs to heal.