she went to the river in the dark and prayed: Mighty river, restore me to my sanity, restore me to my strength. Let me leave my childish ways behind and end victim mentality.
The river glistened and shimmied and rode the words away from her and she was healed.
Which is better – letting situations play themselves to where they are supposed to be.
Or
Pushing for what you want.
I am not sure. I do know that whether you push or not situations will settle to where they are supposed to be.
Being a bully shows great weakness. It is weak to lose control of your temper. It shows you are afraid of something. Something life threatening. The causes of being a bully are many, loss of control, self esteen, personal pain, trauma.
Many times being a bully is the only form of control one thinks because outside events are uncontrolable. By continuing to be a bully there is the possibility of being so far from your feelings that giving suffering becomes enjoyable. Hence, becoming a psychopath.
Think, think, think about what you are doing. What are you so unhappy about? You are not helpless to change for the better.
Use your anger to barrel through the things that are not working and making you unhappy. Be a bully to change yourself for the better, to put up boundaries, commit to self improve. It is your right to do so. It is your strength to do so.
Be a bully to take right actions.
To win the internal battle and vicious cycle of violence I offer a guaranteed way of progress.
GIVE NO ONE SORROW
AND
TAKE NO SORROW
Guaranteed…………………..
What ever you do, don’t try and escape from your pain, but be with it. Because any attempt to escape is what creates more pain.
From the Tibeten Book of Living and Dying.
I saw a short video with Dr. Gabor Mate and he mentioned this quote and it brings to mind how true it is.
We cannot cleanse what we ingnore, or run away from. It is most difficult to face pain alone. There is no way to bite the bullet or buckle down. The easiest and fastest way to heal is not in isolation. It is with other people, those who are interested in your well being. Whether it be a trusted friend or therapist – compassion is the catalyst. The healer. It is compassionate to take an interest in your own life. There are plenty of others who want you to heal too.
Find them, they are looking for you too.
Keep moving forward! Sometimes people may try to shut you down, but they have no idea who they are messing with!! KEEP MOVING! Life will test you to see how serious and determined you are. Do not take it personally ~ it comes with the territory. No test…no testimony. KEEP MOVING!!
Sometimes your funds are low and your bills are high. You have to fake a smile when you want to cry. Keep moving forward!! When your back is up against the wall, lean into it and stand tall. Keep moving, even if you fall. Crawl if you must ~ look up, but keep moving forward! Every dream comes with a test and demands of you to bring out your best. Believe in yourself, unleash your power and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!! You have GREATNESS within you!!
Shame will kill you and it is dangerous. Most suicides are shame based, addictions, acting out, aggression, violence are shame based. Shame is also a very social condition where we compare ourselves to others.
Shame effects intimacy, shame effects self esteem. Shame holds us back and makes us fearful of everything. Shame is pervasive, insidious, invisible and full of hatred
Shame shows up in toxic relationships and chaos. Shame shows up when you find yourself beating yourself up. Shame brings guilt, sadness, regret.
Shame will destroy your life. Shame shows up in not caring for yourself.
Shame shows up in the underachiever and overachiever. Shame will stop you from thinking.
Thinking is the only way to save yourself from further self inflicted injury be it emotional or otherwise. Thinking will grow your self esteem and see the possibilities of getting out of any mess you are in.
Brene Brown is a shame researcher and she says: if we share our story with someone who is empathetic, shame has no where to live, it cannot exist. This is where you will start to heal the pain of feeling shameful.
Think for yourself especially if you had toxic people around you when you were little. At any time in our lives we can mistakenly absorb shame because there are so many shame based people in our environment. Get rid of it. Stop believing lies about yourself. Test the lies and you will see they are not the truth. Challenge all notions of negativity. Shame is a useless, wasteful emotion.
We heal slowly one word at a time, one thought at a time, one breath at a time.
Find those who you can trust and who will lift you up. You will see that you can be the person you want to be by shedding the coat of crap loaded on you.
Take the risk. Take the chance. You can do it. I believe in you and I am absolutely sure you can shed the shame cloak.
Go ahead try. You will win. Do not let the enemy called Shame win. Period.
We are so much more than what we think. Reflecting and deep thinking leads us away from body consciousness to soul consciousness.
The qualities of soul consciousness are Peace, Love, Purity, Happiness, Bliss,
The more we practice soul consciousness the more we can discriminate between truth and lies, we can withdraw from any situation and go within ourselves to see what we are feeling. We aquire the power to tolerate uncomfortable situations, We can face all obstacles with courage. We can adjust to what is going on around us. We will have the power to cooperate with others.
Soul consciousness teaches and overcomes all challanges.
All we have to do is practice the qualities with an open mind and willing heart. This will lead to a fulfilling life.
Try it. You will succeed.
Always go with the choice
that acares you the most,
because that’s the one that is going to require
the most of you.
Carolyn Myss
How many times have you slinked away from change or obstacle? How many times have you taken the easy way? How many times have you let opportunities for growing just slip away because you were scared?
Welcome to the club. Everyone does this and after a while it becomes a way of life.
Now is the time to think about your behavior and why you do the things you do. Why do I react the way I do. What lies do I believe about myself. What are my strengths, what are my less than stellar behaviors.
I know it feels overwhelming but one tiny, tiny step in looking at what you are doing with bring startling insights.
Go ahead try it. It will feel strange at first. Practice, practice, practice.
Projections, not the kind that are astral. The kind that come from your mind.
The times when the thinking habits of the past
present themselves in the moment.
In other words, if you are wondering why your relationships are a battle ground, they are probably reminiscent of the past.
Good or bad.
Mark E. Smith, of Family Tree Counseling explains it well. I am paraphrasing here.
All relationships, especially the closest will reveal all of our dark side. The hatred, jealousy, pain, abaondonement and rage just to name a few. This happens because it is Mother Nature seeking balance.
This is true, think of a time when some serious thing went wrong. The wrong played itself out and balance was restored.
It is the same in nature. The destruction of hurricanes, fires and floods wreck havoc. But the chaos is short lived. Balance is restored, flowers grow, animals return , people come back to rebuild. It is the same thing with our emotional life.
It is the same in every encounter, there is a need for balance. Feel what works, what doesn’t work. What is smooth, what is jagged. The smooth takes care of itself. Hence the reason for staying calm and seeking detachment.
Don’t react to what is jagged, you will get cut. Detach be objective, this is what wins over chaos. Chaos is temporary it will fizzle out.
Out of every tragedy comes strength and understanding. That is the point. It is to make you aware, awake and whole again, and knowledgeable to become a guide to others.
These things don’t happen unless you are strong and able to look at what is going on. Accept what happens, seek change, don’t run away from it. It is your trademark of adaptation.
Those who adapt survive and prosper.
Melissa’s journey as a talented musician has not been easy nor linear. She is quite young to be in the music industry but her phenomenal voice is opening doors for her career. Melissa is committed to her path and it shows in her lifestyle. Her work has been influenced by Aretha Franklin, Miranda Lambert, Tina Turner, Amy Winehouse, Adele,
Jeff Buckley and so many more… She is an American Idol contestant for than once. Let’s find out about her unique life.
I have the great pleasure to introduce to my audience Melissa Goscinski who is the lead singer of Violet Skies. Her genre is Americana/Soul/Rock but just writing the words describing her work is not enough. At the end of the article I will put the links to some of her music. Melissa has also recorded her first EP.
PSW (Purely Simple Words): Welcome Melissa and thank you for taking the time to talk to me. How old were you when you started singing.
MG (Melissa Goscinski): I was singing since I was about two. But I was really discovered when I was 12 accidentally by my elementary music teacher Ms.Weltz.
PSW: When did you start studying music?
MG: I started studying professionally about 12 – 13 years old. I discovered I could really sing when I was about 11 early 12. I started with teachers when I was 13. I am trained in classical opera. I haven’t been in vocal lessons for a while but I am going to start up again because I was recently diagnosed with vocal nodules.
I am doing therapy with a vocal therapist and various doctors. I do vocal warm ups three times a day to get rid of them ad if that doesn’t work then surgery is the other option. But I haven’t been singing for a while and that is really sad.
PSW: How long have you been on break from singing?
MG: I have been on a bread since June 27. the day after the school term ended I went to the vocal doctor because I was experiencing vocal hoarseness and got tired very quickly, then I would get laryngitis were I couldn’t speak, I knew something was not right. So they they were. The nodules.
PSW: How long has it been since you sang classically?
MG: I haven’t been singing classically in 6 years but I am with a band and we started together since 2010. We do Covers. We do rock music like Aerosmith, Beatles, Aretha Franklin, Janis Joplin, Adele and some new stuff. When I am not preforming I work with kids. Between my day job and singing it was stressful and I guess it got to me.
PSW: Where is your day job?
MG: I am a para professional for the Board of Education in NYC.
PSW: Do you want to be a teacher?
MG: No, I need to find a job to help my mom out. My friend recommended me at her school and I got the job. That is how that happened.
PSW: How many days a week do you work as a para professional?
MG: I work 5 days per week, I am not permanently hired yet but there is an opportunity to work as a substitute in one school for a whole year. But you don’t bet paid vacations. I work in on High School and one Elementary. This year I worked with kids 4-11 and last year 15-16 year olds.
PSW: Did you finish college?
MG: No not yet. I was a music major and I took a year leave of absence but I want to go back for Media Studies for a back up plan because I want to stay in this business. I know goal of achieving stardom is extremely hard but I came to terms, and I know I love the business so much I would do anything whether to work on the front line or behind the scenes.
PSW: Tell me about your experience singing with Jennifer Hudson. I understand it was a contest.
MG: My mother had knee surgery and was in the hospital. She was watching TV and saw a contest on the Today Show in NYC. She called me and said I had to get on it right away because it was the last day to enter. I had to video record myself singing “And I am telling you” which is the Etta James song but Jennifer Hudson sang it in Dream Girl. I did record the song and it is on Youtube and sent it in and didn’t think anything of it. Two days later I got a phone call from a Manhattan number and it was the Today Show asking for me. They didn’t believe I was the same person because I sing like a black person but speak like a little girl. They asked if I could sing a little over the phone for the. So I did. They said they were really impressed with my singing and invited me to be one of the finalists in the competition. There was myself and three other contestants.. I remember being picked up in a private car really early in the morning and driven to the Today show. It was a wonderful experience. Jennifer Hudson picked the winner a surprisingly she chose me.
PSW: Did you sing with Sherri Shepard.
MG: Yes, one of the guys in the band knows her. He is a producer at the ABC show the View. She was having a house warming party and invited my band to preform. I was a wonderful experience plus I met a lot of nice people in the audience and met May Pang who is now my friend.
She invited me to her birthday party in October, and a Memorial Day BBQ. She is always inviting me to her awesome parties and recently I asked if I could ask her question about the musics industry. She is generous in helping me and is really a fantastic person.
PSW: I listened to your album online and it is beautiful.
MG: Thank you. Rich Guerzon produced the album. He wrote the lyrics and composed three of the songs. On the other two songs I wrote the lyrics that he wrote the music to. We haven’t seen each other lately because I am on break from the vocal nodes however I am still writing the songs that come into my head.
PSW: What Advice would you give to someone who wants to be a singer like you?
MG: That’s a good question. Vocal lessons once a week. A large repertoire so that at any given moment you can sing and audition for someone on the spot. Something that can really show off your talent. This is something I still work on. I have been to American Idol audition a couple of times and got to go a couple of rounds but didn’t make it.
PSW: Do you recommend being persistent?
MG: Once you give up that is the biggest failure. No matter how many times you get a “no” you have to keep trying because eventually someone out there will believe in you. If you have a really big talent they can’t deny that.; even with this nodule thing I am still learning and speaking to people about the music business. I am told my voice is outstanding by some and others will not acknowledge it. You don’t need them they need you . That’s my new motto that I keep repeating to myself. Be positive and it is hard in the field. I am humble and I am willing to learn.
PSW: How did you meet the band you are in?
MG: It is strange the way things happen sometimes. My mom works at the post Office and one of her friends delivers mail. He heard that one of his mail recipients wrote jingles. He spoke to the guy and said he knew of me and suggested he listen to my amazing voice. My mom’s friend gave him all my contact information. The guy did listen to my youtube recording and emailed me immediately. The man’s name is Glenn Sherman and he asked if I could write with him on a few things.
I was busy at the time but he called me and told me of a band who was doing a wedding and said I could benefit if I sang with them to make some money. So I agree. These guys are older than me and have been around for years. I had no idea what I was walking into and thought it was going to a karaoke CD instead it was serous band stuff. After a while it became a regular gig. We played in lots of different place in New York. Band member Rich Guerzon started wiring and I have been singing it. I have been with them four years. It’s an interesting story. I kind of just walked it on it.
I am lucky I walk in to opportunities like this all the time. Like meeting Sherri Shepard and other who know other contacts. And it is becoming a whole circle. Luck so far is on my side in some ways and not on my side in some ways.
PSW: Is there anything else you would like to add?
MG: I am working on getting better, and writing new tunes so stay tuned. And lastly I want to mention my Mon has been completely supportive of me throughout all of this. I can’t go without saying that. Thanks Mom.
Melissa is the essence of persistence. Her message is to keep learning, keep going and thank and acknowledge those who have helped you along the way.
Her band Voilet Skies consists of Melissa and John Ferry on percussion, Rob Cafaro on Keys and Vocals, Mark Magliaro on Guitar and Vocals and Rich Guerzon on Bass and Vocals.
Her future is bright and she is an inspiration to anyone who wants to be persistent.
For more information about Melissa go to:Violet Skies on Facebook.
For Youtube videos type in Violet Skies..
And here is her email: Violetskymusic@hotmail.com
Informing Providers, Empowering Survivors
FEEL FREE - just sharing what moves through me
For your stitching adventures!
...making the business of marketing and licensing for creators understandable, achievable and affordable.
My art, writing and mental health stuff. Hope it helps.
The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.
WEE FOLK STUDIO
All things holly, jolly, and odd-ly...
A journey to healing from complex trauma.
NO SECRETS-NO SIDES | निर्गुह्य-निष्पक्ष | NIRGUHYA-NISPAKSA
Informing Providers, Empowering Survivors
FEEL FREE - just sharing what moves through me
For your stitching adventures!
...making the business of marketing and licensing for creators understandable, achievable and affordable.
My art, writing and mental health stuff. Hope it helps.
The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.
WEE FOLK STUDIO
All things holly, jolly, and odd-ly...
A journey to healing from complex trauma.
NO SECRETS-NO SIDES | निर्गुह्य-निष्पक्ष | NIRGUHYA-NISPAKSA
purelysimplewords 