Which is better – letting situations play themselves to where they are supposed to be.
Or
Pushing for what you want.
I am not sure. I do know that whether you push or not situations will settle to where they are supposed to be.
Nov14
Tag Archives: Reflections
Nov13
Thoughtful Thursdays #74 On Being A Bully
Being a bully shows great weakness. It is weak to lose control of your temper. It shows you are afraid of something. Something life threatening. The causes of being a bully are many, loss of control, self esteen, personal pain, trauma.
Many times being a bully is the only form of control one thinks because outside events are uncontrolable. By continuing to be a bully there is the possibility of being so far from your feelings that giving suffering becomes enjoyable. Hence, becoming a psychopath.
Think, think, think about what you are doing. What are you so unhappy about? You are not helpless to change for the better.
Use your anger to barrel through the things that are not working and making you unhappy. Be a bully to change yourself for the better, to put up boundaries, commit to self improve. It is your right to do so. It is your strength to do so.
Be a bully to take right actions.
To win the internal battle and vicious cycle of violence I offer a guaranteed way of progress.
GIVE NO ONE SORROW
AND
TAKE NO SORROW
Guaranteed…………………..
Nov6
Thoughtful Thursdays # 73 – Emotional Pain
What ever you do, don’t try and escape from your pain, but be with it. Because any attempt to escape is what creates more pain.
From the Tibeten Book of Living and Dying.
I saw a short video with Dr. Gabor Mate and he mentioned this quote and it brings to mind how true it is.
We cannot cleanse what we ingnore, or run away from. It is most difficult to face pain alone. There is no way to bite the bullet or buckle down. The easiest and fastest way to heal is not in isolation. It is with other people, those who are interested in your well being. Whether it be a trusted friend or therapist – compassion is the catalyst. The healer. It is compassionate to take an interest in your own life. There are plenty of others who want you to heal too.
Find them, they are looking for you too.
Nov4
Les Brown
Keep moving forward! Sometimes people may try to shut you down, but they have no idea who they are messing with!! KEEP MOVING! Life will test you to see how serious and determined you are. Do not take it personally ~ it comes with the territory. No test…no testimony. KEEP MOVING!!
Sometimes your funds are low and your bills are high. You have to fake a smile when you want to cry. Keep moving forward!! When your back is up against the wall, lean into it and stand tall. Keep moving, even if you fall. Crawl if you must ~ look up, but keep moving forward! Every dream comes with a test and demands of you to bring out your best. Believe in yourself, unleash your power and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!! You have GREATNESS within you!!
Oct30
Thoughtful Thursdays #72 – Shame
Shame will kill you and it is dangerous. Most suicides are shame based, addictions, acting out, aggression, violence are shame based. Shame is also a very social condition where we compare ourselves to others.
Shame effects intimacy, shame effects self esteem. Shame holds us back and makes us fearful of everything. Shame is pervasive, insidious, invisible and full of hatred
Shame shows up in toxic relationships and chaos. Shame shows up when you find yourself beating yourself up. Shame brings guilt, sadness, regret.
Shame will destroy your life. Shame shows up in not caring for yourself.
Shame shows up in the underachiever and overachiever. Shame will stop you from thinking.
Thinking is the only way to save yourself from further self inflicted injury be it emotional or otherwise. Thinking will grow your self esteem and see the possibilities of getting out of any mess you are in.
Brene Brown is a shame researcher and she says: if we share our story with someone who is empathetic, shame has no where to live, it cannot exist. This is where you will start to heal the pain of feeling shameful.
Think for yourself especially if you had toxic people around you when you were little. At any time in our lives we can mistakenly absorb shame because there are so many shame based people in our environment. Get rid of it. Stop believing lies about yourself. Test the lies and you will see they are not the truth. Challenge all notions of negativity. Shame is a useless, wasteful emotion.
We heal slowly one word at a time, one thought at a time, one breath at a time.
Find those who you can trust and who will lift you up. You will see that you can be the person you want to be by shedding the coat of crap loaded on you.
Take the risk. Take the chance. You can do it. I believe in you and I am absolutely sure you can shed the shame cloak.
Go ahead try. You will win. Do not let the enemy called Shame win. Period.
Oct23
Thoughtful Thursdays # 71 – Carolyn Myss
Always go with the choice
that acares you the most,
because that’s the one that is going to require
the most of you.
Carolyn Myss
How many times have you slinked away from change or obstacle? How many times have you taken the easy way? How many times have you let opportunities for growing just slip away because you were scared?
Welcome to the club. Everyone does this and after a while it becomes a way of life.
Now is the time to think about your behavior and why you do the things you do. Why do I react the way I do. What lies do I believe about myself. What are my strengths, what are my less than stellar behaviors.
I know it feels overwhelming but one tiny, tiny step in looking at what you are doing with bring startling insights.
Go ahead try it. It will feel strange at first. Practice, practice, practice.
Oct17
Dating the Sons of Satan
Satan is the king of Hell. Devils are his sons. In this world I have dated and lived with several Devils. They have names like Devil Tom, Devil Dick, Devil Harry. Oh yeah, I met three Devil Damian’s, named after Satan’s son the Devil Damian in the Omen movie. I watched that movie and took some notes, the movie is pretty accurate in its depiction of a Devil. Powerful sexy guy protected by Satan’s minion and sucks up all the light he can.
Here on earth there are regular guys who you would never guess travel up the dark side. Until you get to know them better. Sometimes they reveal themselves quickly as sons of darkness because they know who they are. Sometimes it takes years to figure it out because they are well hidden. Here are some of the characteristics of the Sons of Satan.
1. His irresistible sensuality. An instant attraction and not only you notice it but so does everyone else.
2. He is genderless. Depending on his sexual preference of the moment he can swing both ways with no problem.
3. He will usually have one important significant other and at least one other to satisfy his appetite.
4. He will love you till you can’t stand but will be hard to live with.
5. He is sensitive, dramatic and tell you sweet things that your deepest insecurities need to hear.
6. He may speak in different tongues of ancient languages.
7. Can astral project himself and any other entity he is attached to.
8. He is perceived as dangerous, intense, exciting.
9. He may be rich and powerful, or poor and needy.
10. You will feel you met your soul mate.
11. Some are quite controlling. Others could have magnetic multiple personalities.
12. This relationship will be truly significant.
13. He will put you face to face with your desires, wishes, dreams, illusions, fears and rage.
14. He will feel of this earth yet otherworldly.
15. He will struggle with his conscience. You will notice it in his moodiness.
16. You will be obsessed with him and so will your competition.
17. He is addictive.
18. He can switch roles of domination or submissiveness.
19. He is contradictory.
20. You will love him to your last breath.
What is the purpose of these Devils?
This is his purpose: we actually bring these Devils to ourselves because our souls are desperate for the fires of transformation. It is the Devil who shows us our dark side. The side we refuse to take out and examine, our laziness, shame, guilt, judgment, selfish attitudes and drunkard illusions of perfection which are shattered when we realize all is not as it seems. Our emptiness is exposed. We were searching to be whole. We searched outside of ourselves to feel complete. We willingly have the Devil bring us down the abyss of grand scale trickery because we gave our power to someone we thought was trustworthy instead of trusting ourselves.
How do they exist?
They exist by eating your light. The light of happiness, self confidence, assertiveness, dream fulfillment or anything that brings you delight. Dark cannot exist without light. Devils are hungry for the light. We as the light are actually their beacon of either their emotional food or enlightenment if they choose to follow it. It is as simple as that. They know they are dark shadows working destruction. They can’t help themselves, they are born of the destruction that one human does to another. The senseless soul murders humans do to one another via abuse, hatred, anger, selfishness or even worse. When soul murders are meted out humans become aligned with the dark forces unwittingly. Or because there is no other way to survive.
Why do they exist?
They exist because they have a job to do. This meeting will be one of the most significant of your life. You will almost die because of it. You may have more than one. He will not fulfill your dreams but tear your guts out. You will reach the point of being so fragile that you will barely know yourself. It will be feeling pain that will expose what you are hiding from yourself. They exist to deliver transformation. In many cases these dark workers still have light and can be transformed in the same manner if they are willing.
This will be a personal journey with no right or wrong direction. This was the only thing that would catch our attention. The only drama that shouts to us that we need to change something that is lacking. We have a place in the world and this is a chance to redeem and progress.
These Devils remind us that we are great creatures here to bring light. It is useless to curse the Devil. When you curse the Devil and fear them they will bring forth destruction because they see your weakness. To wish destruction will only bring more destruction. Destruction feeds on more destruction.
When you face them they respect and protect you. Don’t blame the Devil for doing what he does, it is all he knows. He has brought you to your truth, real self and crushed your ignorance of yourself.
I have taken up challenges to be on the dark side. I want to taste and know what is forbidden and what is possibly frightening. I have pursued it. I have begged and asked for it but for some reason now I have no takers. Perhaps I am too strong for them at this point. Or I have become a Devil unto myself. Or I have absorbed their reality.
I want to bring out the darkness in me so I can see my light reflected in you. Bring the light out in me so I can see my darkness reflected in you.
I have had these relationships in the past both from significate others and family members and I was left destroyed and devastated many times only to emerge better than I was before. I am much stronger now. However, I still want to be challenged to be a better person, I have always loved the risk of the dark side. I love the dark side period. Knowing full well like the Phoenix I will be burned to death to relive again. I want to wake up and emerge bright as star light.
I want the Devil to see his own light. I want the Devils emptiness shattered. I think he wants that too. I don’t care if he lives in Hades. I don’t care if its risky. I will still stand next to eternal darkness and radiant in my own light. I want the Devil to teach me what I need to see.
I think it would be mutually beneficial to both of us. As I see my darkness the Devil will see his light. As I see my light he will see his darkness.
A word about Satan. He is a gentleman. He is the catalyst of change. He takes no offense to anyone or anything. He is deadly in the sense that he is secure in his knowledge that his sons are doing important work. The difficult hard work of educating the world in awakening. Awakening to know your deepest self. Satan knows Devils both male and female will come and go. He knows once touched by his presence his influence never leaves. Satan is proud of his work. He has an endless supply of those who are looking for a way out or into some knowledge that makes them feel free and real. He adjusts to everyone’s free will choices. He knows we are all responsible for our choices whether we are Devils or not.
We will always love our Devils because he was the one who took us to the deepest part of our reality. It is a badge of honor to survive this learning. It is a treasure to see that the longing for the Devil was the longing for the self and as the Devil longs for light he is longing for his self too.
I can’t say that a relationship with the Devil will be long term. I believe Devils can stick around for a long time if you are patient, respectful and kind. Even Devils need unconditional love. Being in love with a Devil is not a battle field. It is a place of mutual respect, growing and making choices or what is acceptable and what is not. It is examining those peaky gray areas too. He grows toward his light and you grow towards your darkness.
Is there hope? Of course there is hope for a relationship with the Devil. As long as we are alive anything can happen. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough.
In the end the Devil may not be your knight in shining armor but he will be your biggest advocate for change and adaptability and balance.
I love you my Devil and will never let you go.
Hail the Dark Side…………….
Oct11
Melissa Goscinski – Modern American Singer
Melissa’s journey as a talented musician has not been easy nor linear. She is quite young to be in the music industry but her phenomenal voice is opening doors for her career. Melissa is committed to her path and it shows in her lifestyle. Her work has been influenced by Aretha Franklin, Miranda Lambert, Tina Turner, Amy Winehouse, Adele,
Jeff Buckley and so many more… She is an American Idol contestant for than once. Let’s find out about her unique life.
I have the great pleasure to introduce to my audience Melissa Goscinski who is the lead singer of Violet Skies. Her genre is Americana/Soul/Rock but just writing the words describing her work is not enough. At the end of the article I will put the links to some of her music. Melissa has also recorded her first EP.
PSW (Purely Simple Words): Welcome Melissa and thank you for taking the time to talk to me. How old were you when you started singing.
MG (Melissa Goscinski): I was singing since I was about two. But I was really discovered when I was 12 accidentally by my elementary music teacher Ms.Weltz.
PSW: When did you start studying music?
MG: I started studying professionally about 12 – 13 years old. I discovered I could really sing when I was about 11 early 12. I started with teachers when I was 13. I am trained in classical opera. I haven’t been in vocal lessons for a while but I am going to start up again because I was recently diagnosed with vocal nodules.
I am doing therapy with a vocal therapist and various doctors. I do vocal warm ups three times a day to get rid of them ad if that doesn’t work then surgery is the other option. But I haven’t been singing for a while and that is really sad.
PSW: How long have you been on break from singing?
MG: I have been on a bread since June 27. the day after the school term ended I went to the vocal doctor because I was experiencing vocal hoarseness and got tired very quickly, then I would get laryngitis were I couldn’t speak, I knew something was not right. So they they were. The nodules.
PSW: How long has it been since you sang classically?
MG: I haven’t been singing classically in 6 years but I am with a band and we started together since 2010. We do Covers. We do rock music like Aerosmith, Beatles, Aretha Franklin, Janis Joplin, Adele and some new stuff. When I am not preforming I work with kids. Between my day job and singing it was stressful and I guess it got to me.
PSW: Where is your day job?
MG: I am a para professional for the Board of Education in NYC.
PSW: Do you want to be a teacher?
MG: No, I need to find a job to help my mom out. My friend recommended me at her school and I got the job. That is how that happened.
PSW: How many days a week do you work as a para professional?
MG: I work 5 days per week, I am not permanently hired yet but there is an opportunity to work as a substitute in one school for a whole year. But you don’t bet paid vacations. I work in on High School and one Elementary. This year I worked with kids 4-11 and last year 15-16 year olds.
PSW: Did you finish college?
MG: No not yet. I was a music major and I took a year leave of absence but I want to go back for Media Studies for a back up plan because I want to stay in this business. I know goal of achieving stardom is extremely hard but I came to terms, and I know I love the business so much I would do anything whether to work on the front line or behind the scenes.
PSW: Tell me about your experience singing with Jennifer Hudson. I understand it was a contest.
MG: My mother had knee surgery and was in the hospital. She was watching TV and saw a contest on the Today Show in NYC. She called me and said I had to get on it right away because it was the last day to enter. I had to video record myself singing “And I am telling you” which is the Etta James song but Jennifer Hudson sang it in Dream Girl. I did record the song and it is on Youtube and sent it in and didn’t think anything of it. Two days later I got a phone call from a Manhattan number and it was the Today Show asking for me. They didn’t believe I was the same person because I sing like a black person but speak like a little girl. They asked if I could sing a little over the phone for the. So I did. They said they were really impressed with my singing and invited me to be one of the finalists in the competition. There was myself and three other contestants.. I remember being picked up in a private car really early in the morning and driven to the Today show. It was a wonderful experience. Jennifer Hudson picked the winner a surprisingly she chose me.
PSW: Did you sing with Sherri Shepard.
MG: Yes, one of the guys in the band knows her. He is a producer at the ABC show the View. She was having a house warming party and invited my band to preform. I was a wonderful experience plus I met a lot of nice people in the audience and met May Pang who is now my friend.
She invited me to her birthday party in October, and a Memorial Day BBQ. She is always inviting me to her awesome parties and recently I asked if I could ask her question about the musics industry. She is generous in helping me and is really a fantastic person.
PSW: I listened to your album online and it is beautiful.
MG: Thank you. Rich Guerzon produced the album. He wrote the lyrics and composed three of the songs. On the other two songs I wrote the lyrics that he wrote the music to. We haven’t seen each other lately because I am on break from the vocal nodes however I am still writing the songs that come into my head.
PSW: What Advice would you give to someone who wants to be a singer like you?
MG: That’s a good question. Vocal lessons once a week. A large repertoire so that at any given moment you can sing and audition for someone on the spot. Something that can really show off your talent. This is something I still work on. I have been to American Idol audition a couple of times and got to go a couple of rounds but didn’t make it.
PSW: Do you recommend being persistent?
MG: Once you give up that is the biggest failure. No matter how many times you get a “no” you have to keep trying because eventually someone out there will believe in you. If you have a really big talent they can’t deny that.; even with this nodule thing I am still learning and speaking to people about the music business. I am told my voice is outstanding by some and others will not acknowledge it. You don’t need them they need you . That’s my new motto that I keep repeating to myself. Be positive and it is hard in the field. I am humble and I am willing to learn.
PSW: How did you meet the band you are in?
MG: It is strange the way things happen sometimes. My mom works at the post Office and one of her friends delivers mail. He heard that one of his mail recipients wrote jingles. He spoke to the guy and said he knew of me and suggested he listen to my amazing voice. My mom’s friend gave him all my contact information. The guy did listen to my youtube recording and emailed me immediately. The man’s name is Glenn Sherman and he asked if I could write with him on a few things.
I was busy at the time but he called me and told me of a band who was doing a wedding and said I could benefit if I sang with them to make some money. So I agree. These guys are older than me and have been around for years. I had no idea what I was walking into and thought it was going to a karaoke CD instead it was serous band stuff. After a while it became a regular gig. We played in lots of different place in New York. Band member Rich Guerzon started wiring and I have been singing it. I have been with them four years. It’s an interesting story. I kind of just walked it on it.
I am lucky I walk in to opportunities like this all the time. Like meeting Sherri Shepard and other who know other contacts. And it is becoming a whole circle. Luck so far is on my side in some ways and not on my side in some ways.
PSW: Is there anything else you would like to add?
MG: I am working on getting better, and writing new tunes so stay tuned. And lastly I want to mention my Mon has been completely supportive of me throughout all of this. I can’t go without saying that. Thanks Mom.
Melissa is the essence of persistence. Her message is to keep learning, keep going and thank and acknowledge those who have helped you along the way.
Her band Voilet Skies consists of Melissa and John Ferry on percussion, Rob Cafaro on Keys and Vocals, Mark Magliaro on Guitar and Vocals and Rich Guerzon on Bass and Vocals.
Her future is bright and she is an inspiration to anyone who wants to be persistent.
For more information about Melissa go to:Violet Skies on Facebook.
For Youtube videos type in Violet Skies..
And here is her email: Violetskymusic@hotmail.com
Oct6
I Am Devoted To The Other Side
Because I have never gotten validated or
educated about living from another human being.
I have read inspirational things that
soothed me temporarily but
nothing has changed me as much
as being in contact with
the Other Side.
Hence, it sent me the most
difficult relationships and
compassionate encounters.
I questioned my sanity
until I saw the insanity of others.
I loved deeply that it hurt
until I saw love does not hurt.
I hated so hard that blood dripped from my eyes,
until the blood dried and I was numb.
I got the unexpected kind remark
needed at just the
right moment.
I tried to annihilate myself in every-way possible
until I realized I wasn’t even
good at that.
With arms outstretched to the sky
I begged for mercy
until I realized I have so much to be
grateful for.
So I stopped to try one more time
to find the answers.
The Other Side always answered.
The answers gave hope.
So I went on and on and on to live one more day.
My strength gathered one more day,
stronger one more day,
with deeper understanding.
Not even aware of it I traveled
on with my life half asleep and half aware.
Re-enacting every deep seated dysfunction
until I understood it.
That is the grace of the Other Side
The grace of Mother Nature.
The grace of Universal Intelligence.
It sends us messages of
what is out of balance.
It throws us face to face with our desires
our wishes, dreams and illusions.
Those that are repressed,
those that are obvious.
Exposes our blind spots.
The Other Side never gives up on us.
It is best we don’t give up on it.
Sep30
What Is The Hardest Most Difficult Thing You Will Do In Your Life?
The hardest most difficult thing you will do in your life is:
CHANGE
Changing those bad habits
Changing those negative thoughts
Changing those toxic realationships
Changing those unhappy behaviors
Changing self sabatoge
Changing resistance to change
How many times during the day do you put up with stuff that grates on your nerves.
How many times have you said to yourself: I really need to change this thing that I do that does me no good at all.
But you do nothing. Welcome to the club. We all avoid going out of our comfort zone.
What we forget is that Change
is icing on the cake.
We can change our destiny by
simply changing
one small thing.
Start where you are.
Take chances,
Do it even if you are scared.
Even if you don’t know what you are doing.
It does not matter if you know
where you are going.
Any action is the right
action.
Thinking about changing is not enough. It’s easy to think about change because it is safer than taking action.
Action requires risk. Inherent in risk is the unknown. Hense the hesitation.
That is perfectly normal.
Do it anyway
You will not be disappointed
Because by focusing on
Change will guide you to
the necessary steps to move
Forward
It is that simple
Go For It
))))ooooooo((((
Happy Changing !!!!!
purelysimplewords 