When we hate, criticize and judge other people it is a reflection of how unhappy and insecure we feel about ourselves.
When we criticize, hate or judge others it means we hate, criticize, judge ourselves.
Why? Because we believe we are not model size, rich, successful, pretty, overweight, underweight, cool, fill in the blank of where we believe we are lacking.
When we criticize, hate, judge others it gives a sense of assurance and validation that we are OK.
Why do we do that? We must get to the root of these beliefs and actions – to uncover and process our own self hatred and judgement.
We must get to feeling “good enough” about ourselves.
Feeling “good enough” about ourselves brings happiness and contentment and there is no room or desire to hate and judge others.
Get back to yourself.
Do the internal work necessary to be happy and content – you are worth it.
There are two things that we have complete control over. Our thoughts and actions. That is pretty much it.
Things that go on outside of us are uncontrollable. We may have a chance to use our own actions to influence the event. That is still controlling our actions. We can take an action that will influence our own lives or someone else’s in a positive way.
We can’t stop our thoughts, that is the purpose of our mind is to think but we can stop useless thoughts by practicing redirecting our thoughts. For example, if someone is talking bad about you or someone else you can choose to stop those negative thoughts that put you down the rabbit hole of despair and change the subject to something positive.
Take note: This kind of mindfulness is not easy, when you start and you can expect your mind to resist change. This is good because resistance will show you where you need look at your own issues. Be kind to yourself as you make these positive changes, if you become distracted, redirect when you can. You are worth the effort.
Inspired by the book: The Tibetan Book of the Living and Dying” I was reading about Tonglen Meditation. It is mostly about compassion.
Compassion is one of my favorite subjects. How do we have compassion? How is it beneficial?
1. Remember a time when you felt deep love, just remember the feeling. Or read something that invokes the feeling. Stay with it and extend it to yourself, environment, friends, loved ones and even your enemies.
2. Remember that others are the same as you are. We all want happiness and be free from suffering.
3. Put yourself in the other persons place. We all bleed suffering the same way.
4. Actions speak louder than words. If it is possible try to help others in a practical way.
All beings everywhere suffer, let your heart go out them. Compassion is greater that pity. Honor those who suffer.
You are no better or greater than anyone else. Dedicate your positive actions for the welfare of others.
It will benefit all beings and return to you ten fold.