Category Archives: Resistance

Thoughtful Thursdays #75 On Being a Bully Continued

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Anger is very seductive, it feels powerful and it feels wonderful. It coats you like oil, where you feel slippery and untouchable.

This false because truth is soap that washes you clean. The truth is permanent change comes with kindness. It comes with doing what is right. It doesn’t come with being a bully, yeah you are going to change things when you are a bully, but it will be temporary.

It’s like lasting a dark spell. Dark spells don’t last. The good lasts. Always. It is just the way it is. It is the law of the universe.

Life always wants balance. If you are all bully or all saint life will not work. Perfection doesn’t exist. Balance exists, most days are quite ordinary. Quite balanced.

You are better than being a bully. You are more than that. So much greater than that. Look at all you have been through. You are brave and have so much courage. You don’t need to be that way anymore. Forget it, Forget it.

Use your bullying to bully yourself into existence. In a good way in an assertive way that is going to be productive.

Anger keeps you stuck. Peace keeps you productive. It is risky to change behavior. this is where you can be a bully. Be a bully against your own fear.

Bullys don’t trust themselves or life. Bullys don’t trust that they can make right decisions. Bullys think life is out to get them. Those are lies that your own resistance tries to tell you.

Figure out what is the truth and what are lies. Think of all the possiblilites you have.

Go ahead. Just for 5 minutes think of only positive things.

Bullying can become a bad habit. Try to change to get your permanent needs met. Try it………………….

Emotional Maturity VS Emotional Immaturity

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First let’s identify what emotional immaturity is:

1. Moody most of the time
2. Demanding that others cater to their every whim
3. Irresponsibility, not dependable, easily influenced by others
4. Feeling not good enough and gives up easily
5. Violent, blaming, reckless
6. Fearful, easily offended, insensitive, inconsiderate
7. Cynical, unstable, complains

Second let’s identify what emotional maturity is:

1. Flexable, result oriented, determined
2. Composed, peaceful, makes effort to be cooperative
3. Has values, humble, has goals
4. Able to face uncomfortable and frustrating situations
5. Compassionate, kind, happy, patient
7. Aware of how their behavior impacts others

Your emotions give energy to the mind. Emotions are your feelings that can manifest into physical results. You can decide to hurt or care for others with is energy. You can develop new behavior with creative thinking, strong decisions and self-discipline.

We have been programed and conditioned since we were children to be mature or immature, so start by examining your behavior. What have lies have you absorbed about yourself? Change for the better can only come from awareness. Your behavior is an indication of where you are stuck in certain emotions or where your are free in certain emotions. Feel your feelings. The best way to overcome being stuck is to sit with being uncomfortable.

Feelings are not permanent, feelings are temporary, they come and go all the time. Where are your weak areas? Make the determination to work on those areas. Choose your responses. Choose to be aware and awake, don’t sleep walk your life.

Emotional Maturity is learned. It is the ability to choose your responses. It is the best way to have a happy life.

Abraham Hicks – Decisions

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Make a decision and then make the decision right. Line up your Energy with it. In most cases it doesn’t really matter what you decide. Just decide. There are endless options that would serve you enormously well, and all or any one of them is better than no decision.

—Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop: Orlando, FL on February 21, 1998

Poetry – The River

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she went to the river in the dark and prayed: Mighty river, restore me to my sanity, restore me to my strength. Let me leave my childish ways behind and end victim mentality.

The river glistened and shimmied and rode the words away from her and she was healed.

Thoughtful Thursdays #74 On Being A Bully

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Being a bully shows great weakness. It is weak to lose control of your temper. It shows you are afraid of something. Something life threatening. The causes of being a bully are many, loss of control, self esteen, personal pain, trauma.

Many times being a bully is the only form of control one thinks because outside events are uncontrolable. By continuing to be a bully there is the possibility of being so far from your feelings that giving suffering becomes enjoyable. Hence, becoming a psychopath.

Think, think, think about what you are doing. What are you so unhappy about? You are not helpless to change for the better.

Use your anger to barrel through the things that are not working and making you unhappy. Be a bully to change yourself for the better, to put up boundaries, commit to self  improve. It is your right to do so. It is your strength to do so.

Be a bully to take right actions.

To win the internal battle and vicious cycle of violence I offer a guaranteed way of progress.

GIVE NO ONE SORROW

AND

TAKE NO SORROW

Guaranteed…………………..

Thoughtful Thursdays # 73 – Emotional Pain

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What ever you do, don’t try and escape from your pain, but be with it. Because any attempt to escape is what creates more pain.

From the Tibeten Book of Living and Dying.

I saw a short video with Dr. Gabor Mate and he mentioned this quote and it brings to mind how true it is.

We cannot cleanse what we ingnore, or run away from. It is most difficult to face pain alone. There is no way to bite the bullet or buckle down. The easiest and fastest way to heal is not in isolation. It is with other people, those who are interested in your well being. Whether it be a trusted friend or therapist – compassion is the catalyst. The healer. It is compassionate to take an interest in your own life. There are plenty of others who want you to heal too.

Find them, they are looking for you too.

Les Brown

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Keep moving forward! Sometimes people may try to shut you down, but they have no idea who they are messing with!! KEEP MOVING! Life will test you to see how serious and determined you are. Do not take it personally ~ it comes with the territory. No test…no testimony. KEEP MOVING!!

Sometimes your funds are low and your bills are high. You have to fake a smile when you want to cry. Keep moving forward!! When your back is up against the wall, lean into it and stand tall. Keep moving, even if you fall. Crawl if you must ~ look up, but keep moving forward! Every dream comes with a test and demands of you to bring out your best. Believe in yourself, unleash your power and KEEP MOVING FORWARD!! You have GREATNESS within you!!

Thoughtful Thursdays #72 – Shame

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Shame will kill you and it is dangerous. Most suicides are shame based, addictions, acting out, aggression, violence are shame based. Shame is also a very social condition where we compare ourselves to others.

Shame effects intimacy, shame effects self esteem. Shame holds us back and makes us fearful of everything. Shame is pervasive, insidious, invisible and full of hatred

Shame shows up in toxic relationships and chaos. Shame shows up when you find yourself beating yourself up. Shame brings guilt, sadness, regret.

Shame will destroy your life. Shame shows up in not caring for yourself.

Shame shows up in the underachiever and overachiever. Shame will stop you from thinking.

Thinking is the only way to save yourself from further self inflicted injury be it emotional or otherwise. Thinking will grow your self esteem and see the possibilities of getting out of any mess you are in.

Brene Brown is a shame researcher and she says: if we share our story with someone who is empathetic, shame has no where to live, it cannot exist. This is where you will start to heal the pain of feeling shameful.

Think for yourself especially if you had toxic people around you when you were little. At any time in our lives we can mistakenly absorb shame because there are so many shame based people in our environment. Get rid of it. Stop believing lies about yourself. Test the lies and you will see they are not the truth. Challenge all notions of negativity. Shame is a useless, wasteful emotion.

We heal slowly one word at a time, one thought at a time, one breath at a time.

Find those who you can trust and who will lift you up. You will see that you can be the person you want to be by shedding the coat of crap loaded on you.

Take the risk. Take the chance. You can do it. I believe in you and I am absolutely sure you can shed the shame cloak.

Go ahead try. You will win. Do not let the enemy called Shame win. Period.

Thoughtful Thursdays # 71 – Carolyn Myss

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Always go with the choice

that acares you the most,

because that’s the one that is going to require

the most of you.

Carolyn Myss

How many times have you slinked away from change or obstacle? How many times have you taken the easy way? How many times have you let opportunities for growing just slip away because you were scared?

Welcome to the club. Everyone does this and after a while it becomes a way of life.

Now is the time to think about your behavior and why you do the things you do. Why do I react the way I do. What lies do I believe about myself. What are my strengths, what are my less than stellar behaviors.

I know it feels overwhelming but one tiny, tiny step in looking at what you are doing with bring startling insights.

Go ahead try it. It will feel strange at first. Practice, practice, practice.

Dating the Sons of Satan

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Satan is the king of Hell. Devils are his sons. In this world I have dated and lived with several Devils. They have names like Devil Tom, Devil Dick, Devil Harry. Oh yeah, I met three Devil Damian’s, named after Satan’s son the Devil Damian in the Omen movie. I watched that movie and took some notes, the movie is pretty accurate in its depiction of a Devil. Powerful sexy guy protected by Satan’s minion and sucks up all the light he can.

Here on earth there are regular guys who you would never guess travel up the dark side. Until you get to know them better. Sometimes they reveal themselves quickly as sons of darkness because they know who they are. Sometimes it takes years to figure it out because they are well hidden. Here are some of the characteristics of the Sons of Satan.

1. His irresistible sensuality. An instant attraction and not only you notice it but so does everyone else.
2. He is genderless. Depending on his sexual preference of the moment he can swing both ways with no problem.
3. He will usually have one important significant other and at least one other to satisfy his appetite.
4. He will love you till you can’t stand but will be hard to live with.
5. He is sensitive, dramatic and tell you sweet things that your deepest insecurities need to hear.
6. He may speak in different tongues of ancient languages.
7. Can astral project himself and any other entity he is attached to.
8. He is perceived as dangerous, intense, exciting.
9. He may be rich and powerful, or poor and needy.
10. You will feel you met your soul mate.
11. Some are quite controlling. Others could have magnetic multiple personalities.
12. This relationship will be truly significant.
13. He will put you face to face with your desires, wishes, dreams, illusions, fears and rage.
14. He will feel of this earth yet otherworldly.
15. He will struggle with his conscience. You will notice it in his moodiness.
16. You will be obsessed with him and so will your competition.
17. He is addictive.
18. He can switch roles of domination or submissiveness.
19. He is contradictory.
20. You will love him to your last breath.

What is the purpose of these Devils?

This is his purpose: we actually bring these Devils to ourselves because our souls are desperate for the fires of transformation. It is the Devil who shows us our dark side. The side we refuse to take out and examine, our laziness, shame, guilt, judgment, selfish attitudes and drunkard illusions of perfection which are shattered when we realize all is not as it seems. Our emptiness is exposed. We were searching to be whole. We searched outside of ourselves to feel complete. We willingly have the Devil bring us down the abyss of grand scale trickery because we gave our power to someone we thought was trustworthy instead of trusting ourselves.

How do they exist?

They exist by eating your light. The light of happiness, self confidence, assertiveness, dream fulfillment or anything that brings you delight. Dark cannot exist without light. Devils are hungry for the light. We as the light are actually their beacon of either their emotional food or enlightenment if they choose to follow it. It is as simple as that. They know they are dark shadows working destruction. They can’t help themselves, they are born of the destruction that one human does to another. The senseless soul murders humans do to one another via abuse, hatred, anger, selfishness or even worse. When soul murders are meted out humans become aligned with the dark forces unwittingly. Or because there is no other way to survive.

Why do they exist?

They exist because they have a job to do. This meeting will be one of the most significant of your life. You will almost die because of it. You may have more than one. He will not fulfill your dreams but tear your guts out. You will reach the point of being so fragile that you will barely know yourself. It will be feeling pain that will expose what you are hiding from yourself. They exist to deliver transformation. In many cases these dark workers still have light and can be transformed in the same manner if they are willing.

This will be a personal journey with no right or wrong direction. This was the only thing that would catch our attention. The only drama that shouts to us that we need to change something that is lacking. We have a place in the world and this is a chance to redeem and progress.

These Devils remind us that we are great creatures here to bring light. It is useless to curse the Devil. When you curse the Devil and fear them they will bring forth destruction because they see your weakness. To wish destruction will only bring more destruction. Destruction feeds on more destruction.

When you face them they respect and protect you. Don’t blame the Devil for doing what he does, it is all he knows. He has brought you to your truth, real self and crushed your ignorance of yourself.

I have taken up challenges to be on the dark side. I want to taste and know what is forbidden and what is possibly frightening. I have pursued it. I have begged and asked for it but for some reason now I have no takers. Perhaps I am too strong for them at this point. Or I have become a Devil unto myself. Or I have absorbed their reality.

I want to bring out the darkness in me so I can see my light reflected in you. Bring the light out in me so I can see my darkness reflected in you.

I have had these relationships in the past both from significate others and family members and I was left destroyed and devastated many times only to emerge better than I was before. I am much stronger now. However, I still want to be challenged to be a better person, I have always loved the risk of the dark side. I love the dark side period. Knowing full well like the Phoenix I will be burned to death to relive again. I want to wake up and emerge bright as star light.

I want the Devil to see his own light. I want the Devils emptiness shattered. I think he wants that too. I don’t care if he lives in Hades. I don’t care if its risky. I will still stand next to eternal darkness and radiant in my own light. I want the Devil to teach me what I need to see.

I think it would be mutually beneficial to both of us. As I see my darkness the Devil will see his light. As I see my light he will see his darkness.

A word about Satan. He is a gentleman. He is the catalyst of change. He takes no offense to anyone or anything. He is deadly in the sense that he is secure in his knowledge that his sons are doing important work. The difficult hard work of educating the world in awakening. Awakening to know your deepest self. Satan knows Devils both male and female will come and go. He knows once touched by his presence his influence never leaves. Satan is proud of his work. He has an endless supply of those who are looking for a way out or into some knowledge that makes them feel free and real. He adjusts to everyone’s free will choices. He knows we are all responsible for our choices whether we are Devils or not.

We will always love our Devils because he was the one who took us to the deepest part of our reality. It is a badge of honor to survive this learning. It is a treasure to see that the longing for the Devil was the longing for the self and as the Devil longs for light he is longing for his self too.

I can’t say that a relationship with the Devil will be long term. I believe Devils can stick around for a long time if you are patient, respectful and kind. Even Devils need unconditional love. Being in love with a Devil is not a battle field. It is a place of mutual respect, growing and making choices or what is acceptable and what is not. It is examining those peaky gray areas too. He grows toward his light and you grow towards your darkness.

Is there hope? Of course there is hope for a relationship with the Devil. As long as we are alive anything can happen. Anything is possible if you want it bad enough.

In the end the Devil may not be your knight in shining armor but he will be your biggest advocate for change and adaptability and balance.

I love you my Devil and will never let you go.

Hail the Dark Side…………….