Honesty is painful.
Especially when you don’t want to hear it.
g. piazza
Jul29
Daily Archives: July 29, 2014
Jul29
Codependents Avoidance Patterns
Codependents often…………………
. act in ways that invite others to reject, shame, or express anger toward them
. judge harshly what others thin, say or do
. avoid emotional, physical, or sexual intimacy as a way to maintain distance
. allow addictions to people, places and things to distract them from achieving intimacy in relationship
. use indirect or evasive communication to avoid conflict or confrontation
. diminish their capacity to have healthy relationship by declining to use the tool of recovery
. suppress their feelings or needs to avoid feeling vulnerable
. pull people toward them, but when others get close, push them away
. refuse to give up their self-will to avoid surrendering to a power greater thatn themselves
. believe displays to emotion are a sign of weakness
. withhold expressions of appreciation
From CODA.org
Jul29
Codependents Control Patterns
Codependents often…………………
. believe people are incapable of taking care of themselves
. attempt to convince others what to think, do, or feel
. freely offer advice and direction without being asked
. become resentful when others decline their help or reject their advice
. lavish gifts and favors on those they want to influence
. use sexual attention to gain approval and acceptance
. have to feel needed in order to have a relationship with others
. demand that their needs be met by others
. use blame and shame to exploit others emotionally
. refuse to cooperate, compromise or negotiate
. adopt an attitude to indifference, helplessness, authority or rage to manipulate outcomes
. use recovery jargon in an attempt to control the behavior of others
. pretend to agree with others to get what they want
from CODA.org
Jul29
Codependents Compliance Patterns
Codependents often…………
. are extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long
. compromise their own values and integrity to avoid rejection or anger
. put aside their own interest in order to do what others want
. are hyper-vigilant regarding the feelings of others and take on those feelings
. are afraid to express their beliefs, opinions, and feelings when they differ from those of others
. accept sexual attention when they want love
. make decisions without regard to the consequences
. give up their truth to gain the approval of others or to avoid change
from CODA>org
Jul29
Codependents Low Self-Esteem Patterns
Codependents often……….
. have difficulty making decisions
. judge what they think, say or do harshly, as never good enough
. are embarrassed to receive recognition, praise or gifts
. value others approval of their thinking, feelings, and behavior over their own
. do not perceive themselves as lovable or worthwhile persons
. seek recognition and praise to overcome feeling less than
. have difficulty admitting a mistake
. need to appear to be right in the eyes of others and may even lie to look good
. are unable to identify or ask for what they need and want
. perceive themselves as superior to others
. look to others to provide their send of safety
. have difficulty getting started, meeting deadlines and completing projects
. have trouble setting healthy priorities and boundaries
from CODA.org
Jul29
Codependent Denial Patterns
Codependents often…….
. have difficulty identifying what they are feeling
. minimize, alter, or deny how they truly feel
. perceive themselves as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well-being of others
. lack empathy for the feelings and needs of others
. mask pain in various ways such as anger, humor, or isolation
. express negativity or aggression in indirect and passive ways
. do not recognize the unavailability of those people to who they are attracted
from CODA.org
Jul29
C. S. Lewis
Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another:
“What you too? I thought I was the only one”.
C.S. Lewis
