Tag Archives: loving

Thoughtful Thursday #203 – International Women’s Day 2018

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There are thousands of events going on around the world today celebrating women. I think that’s great.

However, being a woman, every day, is always a celebration. If you don’t feel you can celebrate and honor being female, it’s time to do an inventory of your strengths as a person. Some inventory will be exclusive to being female, some inventory will be for males and females.

Here’s some examples of an inventory of strengths:

  1. Birthing children and raising them.
  2. Courage.
  3. Being an explorer.
  4. Learning, teaching, loving, earning.
  5. Assertive, strong, bravery, honesty, kindness.
  6. Fairness, perseverance, creativity.

This is a very short list of strengths women contribute to the world.

So make your own personal list, I am sure it will be a lot longer than this one.

And I would like to thank all the men who support women. It’s time for teamwork to make a better, more peaceful and progressive world.

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Detachment And Other Stuff

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I had a disappointing situation this weekend. I had wonderful plans that were thoughtlessly canceled.  That led me to spiral down the all too familiar slippery slopes of despair. The disappointment was a reminder of a  past belief that no one can be trusted. That is something that drives me crazy: someone you can”t trust. Say what you mean and mean what you say. But was that belief the truth?

I tried to find a way to cope with the situation. Especially since  I have a tendency to over react at times like these by turning my emotions viciously into gut wrenching personal attacks on myself.

I needed to stop. It took about half a day of ping ponging between being furious at not having control over the situation to remembering I need to detach to get perspective.

Detachment , to me, is allowing situations unfold or fold up in their own given time. I am reminded that it is not my timing that make things work out for the best. It is not my controlling or fussing that makes things go any faster.  However I find waiting  really frustrating. I want things my way and now. Well, that is the nasty co dependent, needy side of me speaking.

The nasty co dependent, needy side of me reeks havoc on my life and relationships and especially my thoughts. Co dependency is a product of my past but still alive and well living in the outskirts of my subconscious, waiting to destroy what ever I perceive as a hurt.

What is the truth behind all of this?

1. It is my beliefs and thoughts that are causing my own grief. Yes, I have the right to be disappointed but having my thoughts whirl around like a squirrel in a cage is maddening and extremely unhelpful.

2. Things don’t always go as planned. I forgot this one. Sometimes it’s just a matter of a misunderstanding and perhaps a readjustment. Or not the right time. Or not in my best interest.

3. I can’t control what others do. It is not the end of the world if someone disappoints me. Other peoples poor behavior is a reflection on them not on me.

4. People are not always loving all the time. This is an opportunity to say Ouch at the disappointment but remain open, peaceful and hopeful with the situation.

5. Time always reveals the truth behind what ever is going on, whether I  like it or not.

6. All situations are mirrors of what I need to take a look at. Interactions with others bring up feelings. Believe it or not people don’t cause feelings. The feelings that come up belong to me.

I ask these questions:

What would it be like if I made the effort not to think about these perceived offences?

What would it be like if I made the effort to stop the rushing negative thoughts?

What would it be like if I said yes to everything as a form of acceptance?

What would it be like if I practiced being really strong for myself for a change?

What would it be like  if I made the effort to improve only my life by examining my own behavior?

What would it be like if I remembered just how darn lucky I am to realize that all situations are unfolding as they need to?

What would it be like if I remembered just how lucky I am to change myself?

I know that as time passes my feelings will subside and clarity will come forward. I will learn what I need to learn and move on. If I have not learned the lesson a similar situation will come up and I will be given the chance to examine myself again.

It is my good fortune and luck to be awake and aware enough not to crawl under a rock and hide from life’s ups and downs.

It is my good fortune and luck to not hide behind any distraction and sit with the pain however uncomfortable it is.

It is compassionate and rewarding to experience suffering to understand what others might experience. Here is the miracle of connection.

From my suffering I can relate to another’s suffering. I know the comfort I need so I can comfort another.

How fortunate to get to the point of letting it go. That does not mean I am not disappointed. I am just not going to invest any more emotional energy on it. I am releasing my attention to what happened.

Here is the crux of the situation. The arduous climb, the crucial point. Here is my chance to mature and be a positive influence to the world at large.

I thank all that were involved in aggravating me. This is another chance for me to get to know who I am.

You are my teacher and I am truly grateful.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Relationships

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Relationships are wild creatures. Like attracts like, opposites attract opposites. There is the sea of change and fortune that are the vicissitudes of relations.

Relationships are wild creatures. Some relationships are warm, hot, cold – bring you up or bring you down – all relationships are to teach you about you. Some information you want to receive, with other information you become repelled by your own less than stellar responses.

Relationships are wild creatures. Your deepest desires are revealed when interacting and negotiating with another. We become enthusiastic, sometimes going forward sometimes going backwards we find what we need or hide indefinitely. Don’t hide. Come out. We show the world only a small part of who we are. Move forward toward your happiness. Stop holding back.

Relationships are wild creatures. Incognito, invisible to your own mind. A relationship with yourself is also hidden from view. We can only see the truth when we are calm.

Relationships are wild creatures. Ever evolving like the miracle of evolution we become what is necessary to our emotional survival. Ever thinking and changing who we are as we grow. Sometimes losing, sometimes winning and always moving forward. We have no choice. We must move here and there and dance with others. There is no other way. To isolate is suicide. To retreat is suicide. We must move ahead again and again.

Relationships are wild creatures. They have many faces. In some we look for our own needs to be met. In other relationships, we are satisfying others needs. The time we take to cultivate relations with ourselves and others is necessary for happiness. Without time, honesty, truth and the willingness to allow ourselves and others to reveal who they really are in safety is paramount to any lasting relationship. Without – then the relationship will die from lack of interest.

As all wild creatures they need nourishment. Fresh green thoughts, pink truths, yellow peace, silver moving water of change, bright red sun of burning away negative thoughts, blue cooling healing positive hugs. Simple, open ways of letting the world into your heart. True acceptance of the moment. Acceptance of ourselves and others unconditionally, warts and all is important.

What is your wild creature like? Physical, spiritual, nurturing, accepting, loving, caring, trusting, painful, cryptic, forthcoming, transparent, unacceptable, revolting, funny, a lie, clever, settling, safe. What color is it? What does it taste, smell, look like? Can you hear the innuendos? Is it’s touch like velvet or cactus?

You decide what your wild creature is. No one else. These creatures are inside of you birthing every day. You just have to remember you are birthing these wild creatures. It’s best to keep them wild and closest to their true nature.

Today is your Happy Wild Creature Day. Hurry we are all waiting for you.

g. piazza

Do You Love Me? Let Me Count The Ways

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Love is a loaded word with different meanings. Everyone experiences love differently. Throughout history the word has been used to describe desire, physical attraction, magnetism or an attitude. It is also a deep feeling of personal attachment or anyone or anything. Love could be for community, family, higher power. Or on the dark side it is giving or receiving pain on an emotional or physical level as a way of intimacy (sounds like Rihanna’s “Whips and Chains Excite Me” song, but we won’t go there).

You could love a pair of shoes or a habit or an emotion.

What is one willing to do for love? Sacrifice or kill in the name of love. Love for noble aspirations or selfish motives. The list is endless.

There are certain characteristics to recognizing what love is.

Love is both a feeling and an ability. The feeling and ability could be experienced separately or intermingled.

The feeling part has that nervous feeling when you meet someone you have a crush on. It feels like a risk because you fear vulnerability and rejection. It’s a passionate emotion where you feel invincible, lovable and strong. It is physical attraction, wanting to share your time and effort and belongings. It is wanting to get to know someone better and be close on an emotional and physical level.

Love as an ability is allowing someone to be who they are meant to be. The attitude of being kindhearted when others are not. Sacrifice and compromise. Communication, give and take, not one sided, caring about another, trusting. The willingness to risk letting some one really know you. The one you care about is always in your heart.

There is no right or wrong way of expressing love as a feeling or an ability. Love is the strongest emotion in the universe and if you really search your heart and find it, you will move mountains, win the race, change for the better, tie up loose ends, and grow at the same time with or without a beloved.

Don’t be afraid to express love and love will respond accordingly. It is never a waste of time and effort to express love because it will come back to you many times over in one way or another. In a visible or non-visible way.

Expand your world to love yourself, animals and nature. Choose love and you will be a hero to those who know you.

Where there is love there is joy and happiness, contentment and progress. Another benefit to being loving is that you are loving yourself at the same time.

So try it just for one day and see the difference it will make to you and those you interact with. Your love will ripple positive personal power for the good of every being.

Love ya.

Affirmations #18 Inner Child

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The child in me is very much alive. It is a happy, joyous and fun loving child.

I have forgotten the sad past. I live in the happy present and a still happier future awaits me.

The child in me and I are one. We love each other, care for each other, appreciate each other and will always belong to each other.

self-help-and-self-development.com

Sometimes it’s painful dealing with our inner child but it’s a very important part of us. Write each one 10 times, say them many times during the day especially in the morning and bedtime, and in the mirror.