Category Archives: Life

Aug29

Thoughtful Thursdays #31

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As some of you know I have a very big dog. His name is Rocky and he is 133 pounds. This past Sunday night we were at the dog park. There were many dogs there including one that my dog occasionally plays with. The other dog (who is almost as big as mine) likes to dominate my dog. They end up playfully defending themselves until the other dog decided that he had enough and lopped off a quarter size piece of his right ear. Blood was streaming everywhere and I alerted the other dog owner. Initially they were apologetic and offer5ed to pay the vet. Then they wanted me to pay half. The husband and wife owners of this dog at this point started to get nasty and accused my dog of first starting a fight. They knew full well that their dog was the culprit. I threatened them by saying I would report their dog to animal control.

Since it was late on a Sunday we had to find an emergency vet. We found one and the other dog owners said they would pay the entire vet bill. They did not come with me to the vet and when the vet called for payment they refused to pay the sedative portion of the bill. They ended up paying $400 of the vet and I paid $146. These people were conniving, took advantage of me and are irresponsible dog owners.

Part of me wants to get even, the other part of me wants peace. I doubt it they will come to the part again if they see me and my dog there. I could call animal control and make a complaint or I could just let it go.
I have decided to let it go. Getting even is a useless attempt at trying to control the happiness or unhappiness of others and an attempt to relieve my frustration and anger.

I have the right to my frustration and anger. However, I have decided to leave it alone. because just knowing and believing “what goes around comes around” is enough for me. I believe if I act against them it will come back to me and I know their lying will come back to them.

My dog was well taken care of at the vet and very healthy in spite of losing part of his ear. He now has an interesting battle would, a conversation piece and I can go on with a clean conscious.

Can’t wait to get back to the park.

Aug22

Thoughtful Thursdays #30

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Everything starts with a thought.

Ever notice when you are upset with something your thinking is out of control. You find yourself spiraling down an abyss of negativity and can’t pull out of it. You feel angry, helpless, hopeless and unable to focus. The obsessive thinking starts and before you know it you are drained and unhappy.

There’s good news and only good news. These are only thoughts and thoughts can be changed. You are the power and authority in your world and at anytime you can change your mind.

I know you are not convinced because your ego is addicted to the drama of the situation.
Try this; based on the Queen of Affirmations philosophy of Ms. Louse Hay, her belief and mine, are that staying focused on what is positive will bring the best results.

Here are some affirmations. Write them 10 times each, your mind with fight you but you are the boss not your mind. In a short time you will calm down and feel better.

I open new doors to life.

I always have a choice.

I am worthy of all good.

I release all tension, I release all anger and I release all resistance.

I forgive all past experiences.

I love and accept myself.

These are just a few positive affirmations; there are tons of affirmations in books and on the Internet. Find some that resonate for you and use them.

So,

What Are You Thinking?

Aug19

How To Survive Getting Dumped

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Bam. Wait, what just happened? You find yourself being dumped and at first it’s impossible to believe. Your feelings are raw; it’s draining and painful. The tears don’t stop. The questions are endless. How did this happen? Whose fault is this? Did I miss something? Hold on a minute. Take a breath and read the following.

Relationships end for many reasons, it might be fear of intimacy, feeling vulnerable, don’t love the partner enough, using you for their own selfish reasons, or have other plans where you don’t fit into. There may be a need to step back, be objective and get clarity. Perhaps the relationship has lived out its usefulness.

The good news is that at some time or another everyone gets dumped. You will get over it. Here are a few practical steps to help you move on.

1. Don’t think you will never find love again – do you have a crystal ball?
2. Sit with and don’t react to the broken heart feelings – they will pass.
3. Talk it out with friends or a professional.
4. Even if you still like your ex do your best to cut all ties and move on otherwise you make a fool of yourself and continue to be used.
5. Insist on no more contact. That includes you, ex and the ex friends and family.
6. No stalking your ex in any way. Un-friend where necessary.
7. Give up being confused. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
8. Distract your obsessive thoughts with keeping busy, connecting with friends, cooking, working, writing, exercising, and conversations with your higher power.
9. Be very good to yourself. Do things you enjoy for a change.
10. Read or YouTube self-improvement and personal growth literature.
11. Watch funny movies, refuse to watch or read anything negative for a while. Especially those police shows that focus on extremely destructive relationships.
12. Find stuff to laugh at and lighten up. Stop all the seriousness.

It is definitely not the end of the world. Within a short time the painful feelings with start to go away. That’s guaranteed. You will move on and be free to find a terrific new relationship. Perhaps this time you will do the dumping. Just kidding.

So pick your self up, dust your self off and move up to better, healthier and supremely more satisfying relationships. Finally.

Aug8

Thoughtful Thursdays #28

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e.e. cummings said: “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting”.

When I read this it was almost too much to bear because it was true. It is a fundamental truth that no one talks about or even realizes till it’s almost too late. The truth is that society has set up rules so that if you don’t follow a particular like-minded tribe you will be lost and alone to the point of death. This mentality comes from the ancient survival mechanism in our brains that looks for safety. And it’s also has a clear undercurrent of power and control of a group under the guise of safety. I don’t know about you but I have been a loaner most of my life and I know that lost and empty feeling of not fitting in. I fooled myself for a long time with relationships, jobs, incredible ideas, trusting those I should not have and fabulous fashions but they all faded. The only thing left is me. Warts and all.

I have had sweeping changes and disappointments galore and guess what, I have survived. I still stand-alone and I enjoy being alone as much as I enjoy company.

Society has its own truths. I would never give up my truth to be myself. No matter what.

Be forewarned that acting true to yourself brings lots of jealousy and criticism. It’s a small price to pay for your own happiness. Be content and improve yourself regardless of what others think.

It will take a great deal of courage but you can do it. When there’s opposition, express it by doing something creative. Writing, painting, running what ever makes you happy.

Is this selfish, you may ask. No, because how can you be functional and productive when you have that feeling of uneasy boredom, are unhappy and living by habit?

No one can do your life the way you do so be proud of you and your life.

Aug1

Thoughful Thursdays #27

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For a change of perspective instead of writing about what is wrong with your life, write is about what is right

 

 I’m not talking about using the words “grateful and forgiveness” these words are general, popular and not all its cracked up to be.

 

 So here are 20 things to feel LUCKY about:

 

               You are lucky if you woke up. I know it’s obvious but think of the alternative.

 

 You are lucky if you are near children because they are wise if you listen to them.

 

 You are luck because even if you are afraid you can face what you fear.

 

 You are lucky because you can change anything you want to.

 

                You are lucky because you can make   your own luck.

 

 

You are lucky because it’s an honor to have any positive relationship.

 

 

You are lucky because you can delete any negative relationship.

 

 

You are lucky because you can find alternatives to get different results.

 

 You are lucky because you can control any part of your life.

 

                 You are lucky because you can change direction.

 

 You are lucky because you have your own path to walk.

 

 You are lucky because are unique.

 

 You are lucky because you can go with the flow of life.

 

 You are lucky because bad things happen too and we learn from them.

 

 You are lucky because you are human.

 

 You are lucky because you can choose.

 

 You are lucky because you can make a difference in someone’s life.

 

 You are lucky because you are more powerful that you think you are.

 

 You are lucky because you are smart.

 

 You are lucky because you are wondrous.

 

 Now go into your world with a feeling of real luck. The feeling of confidence and surety, luck will always be there. Just look for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jul18

Thoughful Thursdays #25

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The blips on the radar of your life.

 In case you don’t know what a blip is here’s the definition I will be using:  something small within a larger context.)

Here are some bad blips.

It was the last time you had a difficult time. The time when the difficulty was small. The other time when the difficulty was extra large. The time you lost something or have some setback.

 Then there are the good blips.

The accomplishment that made you proud. Something new and shiny caught your attention. The ordinary days where all is smooth.

 Now what the “blip” does all this mean?

 It takes good blips and bad blips to balance out your life.

Jul17

Bit By a Dog

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I have a wonderful dog. My dogs name is Rocky. He is 130 lbs and is a mixed breed of Lab and Rottie. He is smart and strong and loveable.

On Sunday in the early evening we were at the dog park. Since it was so hot my dog was sitting and relaxing. A lady came in with a pit and a shar pei. She stood in front of my dog and took the leash off her shar pei. For whatever reason the shar pei attacked my dog. Rocky was taken by surprise and got up to defend himself. In the meantime she was trying to get her dog under control and I was trying to get my dog under control. As I reached for my dog her dog swooped in to bite my dog but my hand was in the way. Instead he bit me. It hurt. I told her the shar pei bit me and she was genuinely concerned. She said if I needed anything she would pay for it. I was so impressed by her show of responsibility.

I washed off the bite, Rocky was fine and I was the only casualty. On Monday morning I went to the doctors. She said I did not need antibiotics because it was not infected. The pain was a result of the bruising from the bite and I consider myself very lucky it was not worse.

From this event I am reminded how powerful dogs are and how important it is to respect them and be cautious. My dog is so strong that I have to always were sneakers to support my balance. I have fallen many times because he will run after a cat or bird and I am no match for him when he runs. One time I fell and broke a rib. So for a long time now I just put him in the car and drive a mile to the dog park to avoid this kind of problem.

Rocky is a very good boy but he is still a powerful animal. His job is to be a guard dog and is very protective. He knows his job and does it well.

I have no bad feelings toward the dogs or the owner because that’s the risk of owning any dog. Even a little one can do damage.

So I leave you with this: Dogs are super creatures.
They are loyal, kiss a lot, like a child and need us as much as we need them. Great protectors, teach us the cycle of life and great conversation pieces. Are a lot of work but worth it.

Give a your dog a hug today, if you don’t have a dog, hug someones dog, but ask first.

Jul11

Thoughtful Thursdays #24

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I realized that I have no enemies, only teachers. Each perceived enemy, obstacle and unnerving situation is a growth spurt in the timeline of my life. Each seeming bad person, organization or situation is really the wonderful opportunity to participate in having things fall apart right in front of me and participating in pulling them back together again.

We do ourselves a great injustice by not looking at uneasy situations as a teaching. By looking at it as a teaching we will not run away or look for an escape. Instead we can be objective, be in the moment and in an instant the situation comes into perspective and passes in its own time.

Here are some suggestions for dealing with things that are not working:

1. Stop your mind from racing
2. Be objective
3. Don’t look for an escape
4. Even if you are terrified stay in the moment
5. Respect yourself by having the courage to be still
6. Notice your feelings and thoughts but don’t react to them
7. Finally, just let go

Most of the time our days ordinary. On those days we can practice doing the things that make us happy inside of us not outside of us.

Know that everyday is a chance to change, to make choices, and move into a position of personal strength. So when bad things happen you won’t be so derailed. Learning to be calm in the face of adversity takes time. Don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t happen right away. Life will always help you by putting these nasty situations in front of us until we learn not to run away.

If I haven’t convinced you and you still want to run away then start jogging.

You are stronger than you think.

Jul4

Thoughtful Thursdays #23

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July 4th, 2013

Today is the 237th day of Independence of the United States. The greatness of this country is one of hard work and persistence. This country is based on the freedom to be who you are and work as you wish. Yes the US is not perfect but neither is anything in this wonderful world we live in. There is constant change and challenges in governments and humankind. And that is the way it’s supposed to be.

You are free to be happy, to be who you want to be, it is not too late to change.
You are free to move around, turn things upside down, inside out and sideways.
You are free to made a plan, take a stand, hold a hand and swing.

So in celebration of US independence let’s join the party and feel free to dance to our own personal freedom.

Happy Independence.

Jun20

Thoughtful Thursdays #21

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I smell liar and backstabber, and sneakiness in the air. When that smell gets on a person it never goes away. Has anyone lied to you and back-stabbed you? They smell really bad, don’t they? Rest easy it happens to everyone at sometime or another. Let’s say the damage is done, this person you trusted pulled the rug right out from under you. Turned others against you. Slam, splat your life has just melted into warm Jell-O. This person will not communicate or answer any questions. Just turned their back on you. Walked away, smug and strangely entertained by your reactions. You didn’t know they were using you. You were honest and helping and trusting. Their motives were hidden. This person has some definite sociopath issues. Unfeeling, unaware of what their actions did to you. What’s the next step?

1.Damage control. Stop all communication with this person and anyone who might be on their side.

2. Assess the damage. Such as, find out what they might be saying or doing that involves you. Take necessary steps to stop it.

3. Take time away from the situation. Go for a walk. Talk it out, write it out. Take care of yourself first.

4. Be as objective as possible. As time goes on clarity will reveal the truth and the next step. Be as unemotional as possible. It’s OK to feel, but too much emotions muddies up clarity.

5. Time will pass and the situation and damage will end.

6. Keep the focus on your own self-improvement. This helps move your life forward by maturing and getting smarter about relationships.

Sorry for the pain. But you are a better person than that bad smelling one. And besides, if someone feels the need to tear you down, best you know you are already above him or her.

Happy improving.