Tag Archives: ego

Thoughtful Thursdays # 83 Ego vs Love

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Most of the time we don’t even know when our ego is around. However one reliable indicator that your ego is out is your level of give and take.

If you are taking more than you are giving then it’s your ego.

If you are giving more than you are taking then it’s love.

Can you be humble enough to pay attention to your actions and reactions?

It’s your choice……..

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Thoughful Thursdays # 64 – Going Underneath the Recesses Of My Mind

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A few weeks ago I wrote about suicide. It was before the Robin Williams incident. And I got a lot of people concerned with my mental health. Here is an explaintion and update on how I am feeling.

There were a series of events that ticked off my codependancy and abandonment issues so I spiraled down that slippery slope of despair. Only this time it was so painful that past memories surfaced. Hence the feeling of annilation.

Update………

Sometimes I have to allow myself to hit bottom emotionally because it is the only way up and out. I must allow myself to feel suicidal, sad, lonely, awful, cry, and scream, abandoned, needy, out of control and insane to the point of losing control.

When my ego is done yacking away with all this pain, I can feel the difference between my ego screaming and what is heart felt and realistic, instinctual and right. This is where time stops and as silly as it might sound I start to feel really lucky to be able to come up from the depths of emotional hell and be thankful for a roof over my head, my health, people I care about, talking, smiling, laughing etc.

My ego perceived lots of unrealistic things as a threat like it will die or is losing something. Those are just fears from the past rearing its ugly head and creating resistance. My ego will fight back, that is it’s nature. But eventually weakens because my ego needs to rest and then turns to being cooperative with healing and health. My ego must cooperate with expression and evolution of the self, it has no choice.

When my ego is open, raw and down it doesn’t see the options that are present. This gives me the reason to sit and go down the slope of despair.

Here is my secret……..This is where I just sit and feel everything. Let my mind wander to all the possible outcomes good and bad. I am not going to kid you it is hard to do this. It feels like no control at all. It is going into the unknown. Will I lose my mind or won’t I. I battle with reaching out for something to relieve being uncomfortable. I want the cigarette, drink, drug, person to distract me, the internet anything to stop the pain. But I must not, I must sit and feel no matter how long it takes. Going down to the bottomless pit of hopelessness. Eventually the desperation stops. I am spent, exhausted and heavy.

From here it is up. The feeling of empowerment takes over and the best therapy abounds. My own form of therapy. There is feeling of openness where answers come from. It is a form of meditation. I accept things for what they are. Here is the miracle: I can slowly move in a new direction. Still in pain I can still move ahead. Lick my wounds and heal.

I will say this: don’t listen or act on the ego it loves drama and pain. Listen and act on the positive, it loves moving like lava from out of the mountain of despair. Burning away illusions and reveals the truth of the situation. My truth and your truth. The positive wrenches through the illusion of despair and hopelessness. There is no such thing as helplessness really because it is all in the mind. But the ego does not realize this. The ego refuses to believe in possibilities. It believes in fear.

My heart must speak to the ego like a baby and encourage it to cooperate because my heart knows how to hold the hand of the screaming ego child lovingly and wholly. So does your heart. If you listen.

Peace, all is as it should be.

Peter Russell – Twelve steps in four

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Twelve steps in Four

 

For a long time I’ve been impressed by the widom and power of the “12 steps” of Alcoholics Anonymous and other addiction programs, and have thought that they could equally well be applied to the fundamental problem afflicting us all – the ego-mind. I have also felt that the key steps of the twelve step program were the first ones.

So here’s my own shortened version of the steps applied to the ego-mind. I’m not suggesting you should agree with me on them. But if they help your own thinking in some way, that’s enough.

  • We admitted that we were controlled by the dictates of the ego-mind, that this led to increased suffering in ourselves and others, and that we could not, on our own, release ourselves from its control.
  • Recognized that there was a Higher Power that could restore us to sanity.
  • Made a decision to turn our will over to the care of this Higher Power.
  • Sought to improve our conscious contact with this Higher Power, allowing It to guide our thinking and decisions.

Thoughtful Thursdays #30

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Everything starts with a thought.

Ever notice when you are upset with something your thinking is out of control. You find yourself spiraling down an abyss of negativity and can’t pull out of it. You feel angry, helpless, hopeless and unable to focus. The obsessive thinking starts and before you know it you are drained and unhappy.

There’s good news and only good news. These are only thoughts and thoughts can be changed. You are the power and authority in your world and at anytime you can change your mind.

I know you are not convinced because your ego is addicted to the drama of the situation.
Try this; based on the Queen of Affirmations philosophy of Ms. Louse Hay, her belief and mine, are that staying focused on what is positive will bring the best results.

Here are some affirmations. Write them 10 times each, your mind with fight you but you are the boss not your mind. In a short time you will calm down and feel better.

I open new doors to life.

I always have a choice.

I am worthy of all good.

I release all tension, I release all anger and I release all resistance.

I forgive all past experiences.

I love and accept myself.

These are just a few positive affirmations; there are tons of affirmations in books and on the Internet. Find some that resonate for you and use them.

So,

What Are You Thinking?